Page 1 of 6 Weapons for the War Against Lust and Sexual Immorality (Part 2) ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU THE PLACES WHERE THE BATTLE MUST BE WAGED Now you understand something of the battle and you know the enemy, how do you break the addiction cycle? How can you win this battle? Where are your defenses weak, so that you are being overrun? Satan uses "footholds" (Ephesians 4:27) or areas of infirmity to keep us captive. One of the keys to winning this war is understanding the areas of infirmity and removing them. What are the footholds that the devil uses to "demonize" you? Addiction must be attacked at three places on the circle: 1. You must identify triggering mechanisms (love hunger) and use healthy means of dealing with your emotional pain. The triggering mechanism may be an unbiblical self-image, resentment, fear, or an
Page 2 of 6 undealt with incident of childhood sexual abuse, incest, rape or molestation. There are many other triggering mechanisms. These are "footholds" that keep you in bondage. Do some thoughtful introspection or some helpful reading on the roots of addiction. (Try the book Faithful and True by Dr. Mark Laaser, Zondervan Publishing House.) Most of us are not good at introspection (our heart is deceitful), so you may need to get some counsel from someone who understands triggering mechanisms and sexual addiction. As you identify your love hunger you can find how God meets your love hunger in a real and experiential way. And since you will continue at times to feel emotional pain, you can also find godly, healthy ways of dealing with your feelings. Overcoming an addiction is not a matter of learning to "white knuckle it," "to do without", "biting the bullet," or "gutting it out." When you experience emotional pain, you need a godly alternative. Until something is found to replace the addictive agent and fill the need, change won't happen. God has healthy alternatives for you. Find out what they are and begin to use them. 2. You must understand how you become preoccupied and what rituals you perform to get to your addictive agent. Quite simply remove the availability of the addictive agent. Are you hooked into the internet and viewing pornography online? Then block it, filter it, or sign up for a non-pornographic ISP! Are you addicted to late night or cable TV? That's a foothold. Go to basic cable, go to bed early, or get rid of the TV! Do you drive by a pornography store on your way home from work? Take another route! Where does the money come to buy your magazines? Make the funds unavailable! Are you paying for sex over the phone? Have another person go over your phone bill every month or ask the phone company to block all "900" calls! What are the rituals that you use to provide for your addictive agent to be conveniently available? Be honest. Remove the convenience and the availability. [For more on this see the section below entitled "Spiritual Weapons."] If the addictive agent is not available you will be forced to turn to something else. 3. Overcome the guilt, shame, and self-hatred through God's complete
Page 3 of 6 acceptance of you through the cross of Christ. This guilt/shame and self-hatred is a foothold that Satan uses in your life to keep you in the addiction cycle. Jesus has freed us from guilt/shame and self-hatred. [For more on this see the section below entitled "Spiritual Weapons."] DO YOU REALLY WANT TO ABANDON YOUR ADDICTION? You understand the battle ground, you know the enemy, and you now know the targets of attack. But do you really want to fight this war or are you content to be a slave? Do you really want to change? You say, "Of course, I want to change. I don't want to be an addict." But the truth is that we hold on to our addictions, like the alcoholic holds on to his bottle. Most addicts are in denial. We have become comfortable in our addiction and some of us have NOT reached the point of fallout, guilt, and self-hatred being so bad that we will pay ANY price to end the cycle. We are like the man who strokes his pet boa constrictor even while the boa squeezes and tightens his grip upon the man until the man's bones are slowly crushed. Stop "Mickey mousing" around. Pornography and sexual immorality are sins that can damn you to hell (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21). Jesus said, "If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter eternal life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter eternal life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." (Matthew 18:8-9). Our Lord is not teaching self-mutilation, because even a one eyed man (or a blind man) can still lust. Jesus is teaching that we must deal drastically, radically with sin. If this means getting rid of the television set, or the computer, or your cable subscription, or your lunch money that you spend on magazines, then you must be willing to do these things. You must have the attitude: "Lord, whatever you tell me to do, I WILL DO." Sometimes it's not just that "I can't help it." It's also that I don't want to help it. A genuine believer does not slip into sexual sin (or any other kind) because he cannot avoid it. Rather, he does so because he inwardly cherishes a hidden love for it. You love this addiction, because you get something out of it. You have made an idol out of your addiction, because it serves you in some way. What is the payback you get
Page 4 of 6 from your addiction? Why do you love it? Be honest with yourself. The naked truth is that we may be "caught" in our addiction, because we also love this sin more than you love the way of Christ. A Christian can never conquer the one sin that gets him down, until he believes that Jesus has a better payback than his addiction can provide. C. S. Lewis wrote an excellent story about lust in his book called The Great Divorce. Read The Red Lizard of Lust article. You must get to the point of really hating your addictive agent and loving Jesus. Hating your addiction, in and of itself, will not get you over it, but it's a start. Healing from sex addiction means that you can receive His pleasure and His payback which has no fallout, no guilt, shame, or self-hatred. THAT'S JOY! You must be willing to fight! But what if you are not sure that you want to? Pray an "I want to want to" prayer. Ask God to give you the right desire and the right will (Philippians 2:13). God is the changer of hearts and He can make us sick of our sin, bring us to the end of ourselves, and place new desires for righteousness in us. So, are you ready to fight? Then you need some weapons to confront and win over this enemy. SPIRITUAL WEAPONS TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL IMMORALITY: The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power... 2 Corinthians 10:4 Here are twenty-one very practical weapons to use in your fight against pornography. Not each one will be effective for you, since we are all different in personality, needs, and giftedness. Walk into the armory. Look around. Pick up the weapons that suit you. Train with them. Use them. If they prove ineffective on the battle field, then return to the armory and try another. Weapon #1: Pray for Discernment and a New Filling of the Holy Spirit Wrong prayer: "Take this away from me." Right prayer: "Show me how to deal with and defeat this sin addiction." Salvation doesn't take away our problems. Salvation does allow us to look at them,
Page 5 of 6 see them in a new light, and to overcome. Ask God to give you discernment in understanding the roots and attack points of your sexual addiction. And you will need the Holy Spirit working through you to overcome this power in your life. Ask for a fresh baptism and a more intimate relationship with the Spirit of Christ, who lives in your. God works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Philippians 2:13). Weapon #2: Share Your Story Sexual addiction is a shame-based addiction. To overcome the shame you must share your story with someone. You must tell someone your "dirty little secret." Sharing your story is called "confession" in the Bible. Confession is cathartic? it is cleansing. It takes away half of the power of the addiction just to share and let someone know what you are going through. Alcoholics Anonymous understands the need to share your story. If you attend an AA meeting you will see people stand up to speak and start by saying," My name is Tom and I'm an alcoholic." The Bible says, Confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed (James 5:16). Find a trusted friend or a spiritual advisor or a Christian counselor to confess to. Find someone who can really listen to you, really love you, and really help you. Weapon #3: Do Some Agent Orange Cleaning. Agent Orange was a chemical substance used in Vietnam to clean out the underbrush, so that the enemy would have nowhere to hid. Your environment needs a good Agent Orange cleaning. Clean out everything in the house that arouses you to temptation? Reject paid TV channels, throw out your romance/pornographic novels, put your video store card in the collection plate, avoid late night TV, block out porn from your computer, control the knob, cancel the subscriptions. Take control of the other areas in your life that lead you into temptation? take another route to work; find a different carpool; refuse the promotion that takes you on more trips; fill your office with Scripture, pictures of your spouse, and your kids; move if you are coveting your neighbor's spouse. Read Matthew 5:27-30, 18:6,8,9; Mark 9:42-47. One thing is absolutely clear from these passages. Jesus calls for radical surgery when dealing with besetting sin. Make the addictive agent unavailable and inaccessible.
Page 6 of 6 Weapon #4: Garrison the Eye Gates & Ear Gates. For men sexual sin most often begins with the eye gate. For women sexual sin most often begins with the ear gate. We must put up sentries at both of these doors. In Matthew 5:29-30, Jesus teaches us to act as if our eye was gouged out. The winner over lust will blind himself to any sight that arouses lust. If it cripples your style to discipline your eyes, then live as a cripple. It is far better to see only half the beauty in life, than to go to hell forever. If your hands touch where they should not, then have no mercy on your hands. It is far better to keep your hands to yourself, than to end up in hell. Stomp on your toe, when your foot takes that first step in the wrong direction. Better to spend a few weeks recovering from a sore toe, than to spend eternity in hell. Garrison the Eyes? Thousands of years ago Job knew the wisdom of aiming your eyes away from certain temptations. I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a maiden (Job 31:1). Garrison the Ears? For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil (Proverbs 5:3). Keep away from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife (Proverbs 6:24). With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk (Proverbs 7:21). Go to Part 3 >>>