1 Memorial Service for Eric James Schade at Advent Lutheran Church in Cedarburg, Wisconsin, 53012. 2:00pm. The Greek poet Aeschylus wrote so many years ago words that reverberate across the ages with their truth and their poignant accuracy, And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God! This is where Mike and Jan Schade are today. They know of a certainty what the awful grace of God feels like because they are living at the center of that grace right now. But Mike and Jan know something else as well. They know something else that Aeschylus wrote, mainly that there is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief. That particular joy began with Eric s birth on May 6, 1982 in Milwaukee, and when his Grandfather, Mike s father remarked, This is my father s birthday. In this life of ours we often cannot understand or make sense of the unfolding of events. Perhaps there is meaning in even the seemingly small and insignificant of events. Eric attended Trinity Lutheran Church Friestadt School where he was known as E.J. Later, when the family moved to Cedarburg Eric attended First Immanuel Lutheran Church School for grades 6-8. After completing 8 th. Grade at First Immanuel he attended Cedarburg High School graduating in the class of 2000. Eric then attended Cardinal Stritch University where he earned his RN and was hired by Columbia St. Mary s Hospital to work in the Medical/Surgical Unit. Three years ago Eric moved to the St. Mary s Regional Burn Center where he worked until the time of his death. Already at age 16 Mike recalls that at age 16 Eric came home from school and announced, I want to be a nurse. Indeed it seems it was destined to be. Mike also remembers that the career assessments that he gave as a teacher to his
2 students he also gave to Eric. From the very beginning Eric was perfectly matched with a profession indeed a calling as a nurse. I do not personally have any experience with what the burn unit must be like but I do know that some 26 years ago when I was participating in the Cardinal Stritch Mile of Art, my professor and his partner Dick came to see my work. And I remarked at how haggard and tired dick seemed. When asked why he answered; I spent last night in the St. Mary s Hospital burn unit holding a 9 year-old child s hand until he died. When I asked where the child s parents were Dick answered: They could not bring themselves to stay in the room with him. Without judging the parents I would say there is no doubt that it takes a very special person to be able to be present and share in the overwhelming pain and anguish as well as comfort that the burn unit presents every day. Eric had that gift and apparently knew it since it was his choice to serve where he did not only without complaint but gladly. As a person Eric had the rare and precious gift of being in touch with all of the rhythms of life including and most especially animals. Mike tells the story of how the family was visiting the zoo in Washington D.C. and a particular bird connected with Eric in some unseen but very real way. As they walked along the bird imprinted itself on Eric and followed him as they walked along. Other people were trying to distract the bird with loud noises and trying to get its attention but the bird followed Eric as if they were woven together by some invisible threads. Jan said to me in our conversation regarding Eric, Animals just took to him. they just seemed to know there was a connection. That s a most beautiful gift and judging from the cruelty we see all across the world regarding animals that are regarded of little value a rare gift that Eric had.
3 One of my favorite quotes regarding our four-legged sisters and brothers, fellow creatures of God is written by Philosopher and naturalist Henry Beston: We patronize the animals for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they are more finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other Nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time. He also said: Nature is a part of our humanity, and without some awareness and experience of that divine mystery man ceases to be man. There is no doubt that Eric was more than just a little aware of that divine mystery. Perhaps there was always this restless spirit within Eric, and Jan said that after his skydiving experience Eric had said that that was the freest he had ever felt. We can, in sadness and grief all but begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for Eric to negotiate his responsibilities with purpose and grace as well as responsibility and he did do this in spite of his pain and struggle. Eric also had the gift of being able to identify with and move graciously within other cultures and situations. When he was an exchange student at age 16 he lived in Germany with the family of Gerd and Ingrid Pompe. Their son Martin in turn spent the year with Mike and Jan Schade. The two families became very close, and Martin recently called wanting to be with the Shades during this most difficult time. Physically Eric was slight of stature and so assessing sports activities it became clear that football was not a good choice for him so he ran cross country which he was successful at.
4 This also turned out to be a blessing on the social scale as well for as we know our youth can be at times rather cruel toward one another, the smaller boys are picked on rather routinely. Not so Eric, who had endeared himself to his larger teammates who saw to it that he, was left alone. To use the more common phrase, They made sure they had his back. Nursing came so naturally to Eric that he completed his education and training and became a Registered Nurse at the tender age of just 20, quipping that here he can give narcotics to patients but cannot legally buy a drink! It was true. If not the youngest, certainly Eric was one of the youngest to complete the Nursing curriculum and be registered as a nurse. Eric also had a deeply spirit-based passion for art. Very precise, controlled, specific and mathematically correct creations. Mostly pen and ink. As artists ourselves my wife Aina and I were fascinated by the work he showed us mostly in his sketchbook that contained hundreds of drawings. The cover of our bulletin, and the prints that Mike has prepared for us from the original drawing that was a gift from Eric to his mother, contain an open ended cross, this cross of life the spirit flowing in and out of both top and bottom, both left and right. And in the very center is the heart of life, the heart of God that bleeds at the suffering and death of his Son Jesus and every other son and now for Eric as well. Everyone who is here can own a printed suitable for framing copy of this provocative and beautiful piece of Eric s Art. Mike thought it would be one more way too to memorialize Eric by asking for a donation of your choice that would go to Advent Lutheran Church s ministry in honor of Eric. Perhaps this form of art with its minute detail and control was a way in which Eric found not only expression of his own inner emotions both dark and light but a way to embrace control in his life, that his illness had so robbed him of. There is
5 no way we can ever know what demons he held at bay, but it is certain beyond doubt that Eric had incredible strength throughout those battles. And there are limits to what we can do, and there are endings as well as beginnings in our reading from 2 Samuel a very strange thing takes place, at least at first reading. I chose this passage deliberately because of last Sunday morning when I greeted Mike and Jan outside of our church on the sidewalk and wondering how they would present themselves was amazed at the sense of their being surrounded by a spiritual light if you will. A light all the more present because of the terrible crucible from which it was born. I believe this is exactly what poet Aeschylus meant in his phrase, Against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. Just two days after losing their son to death they came to church to be in the one place that they knew they would be embraced, loved, understood and respected by the community that is their faith home. This is exactly what King David did in the lesson I reference. Then David got up off the ground, washed himself, brushed his hair, changed his clothes, and went into the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. And when David s servants reacted with both amazement and confusion it was for the same reasons that many of us react the same way for ours is a largely death denying culture. But David knew something that Mike and Jan also know of a certainty through their faith in the Living God. In one of many conversations regarding the tumultuous days following Eric s diagnosis in 2007 Mike said, It was then that I began to grieve the loss of our son. And I immediately connected with and understood this lesson from 2 Samuel and how and why King David did what he did.
6 David replied, I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live. But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. And as we heard so powerfully read from the Beatitudes Great blessings belong to those who know they are spiritually in need. God s Kingdom belongs to them and God will comfort them. Indeed. AMEN.