FATALATTRACTION:GUARDYOURHEARTAGAINSTADULTERY 5 My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my insight, 2 so that you may practicediscretionandyourlipsmaypreserveknowledge. 3 Thelipsofanadulteress* dripwithhoney,andherspeechissmootherthanoil; 4 butintheendsheisasbitteras gallandsharpasadouble edgedsword. 5 Herfeetgodowntodeath;herstepslead straighttosheol. 6 Shegivesnothoughttothelevelpathoflife;herwaysareunstable, butshedoesnotknowit. 7 Nowthen,myson,listentome,anddonotdepartfromthe wordsofmymouth. 8 Keeptoapaththatisfarfromher,anddonotgonearthedoorof herhouse; 9 orelseyouwillgiveawayyourhonorandgiveyouryearstothosewhoare cruel. 10 [Stayawayfromher]orelsestrangerswillfeastonyourwealthandyouwill laborinthehouseofanalien. 11 Youwillgrieveovertheoutcomeofyourlife,when yourfleshandbodyarewornout. 12 Thenyouwillsay, HowIhatedinstruction!And myheartdespisedcorrection! 13 Iwouldnotobeythevoiceofmyteachers,orlistento thosewhoinstructedme! 14 Ihavecometothebrinkofutterruininthemidstofthe wholeassembly! 15 Drink water from your own cistern, fresh water from your own well. 16 Should yourspringoverflowinthestreets streamsofwaterinthepublicsquare? 17 Letthem beforyourselfalone,nottobesharedwithstrangers. 18 Mayyourfountainbeblessed, andmayyourejoiceinthewifeofyouryouth. 19 Asalovingdoeandagracefuldeer mayherbreastssatisfyyoualways.mayyoualwaysberavishedwithherlove. 20 Why, my son, should you be ravished with an adulteress*? Why should you embrace the bosomofastranger? 21 Aman swaysareinfullviewoftheeyesofjehovah;hewatches allofaman spaths. 22 Thewickedman sowniniquitieswillensnarehim,andhewillbe heldtightbythecordsofhissins. 23 Hewilldieduetolackofdiscipline,ledastraybyhis owngreatfolly.(prov.5:1 23) *Inverses3and20theHebrewisliterally, aforeignwoman 6 23 The commandment is a lamp stand, and the law is a light, and the correction providedbydisciplineisthewayoflife, 24 [intended]toguardyoufromtheevilwoman, fromtheflatteryoftheadulteress s*tongue. 25 Donotlustforherbeautyinyourheart, anddonotlethercaptivateyouwithhereyes; 26 foronaccountofaprostituteamanis reducedtoeatingacrustofbread theadulteresspreysuponyourverylife. 27 Cana manscoopfireintohislapwithouthisclothesbeingburned? 28 Orcanamanwalkon hotcoalswithouthisfeetbeingscorched? 29 So[isthecaseof]themanwhogoesinto hisneighbor swife:whoevertouchesherwillnotgounpunished. 30 Mendonotdespise athiefifhestealstosatisfyhishungerwhenheisstarving. 31 Yetifheiscaught,he must repay sevenfold; even if it costs him all the wealth of his household. 32 He who commits adultery with a woman has no sense: it is done by the man who wants to destroyhimself. 33 Blowsanddisgracearehislot,andhisshamewillneverbewiped away; 34 for jealousy arouses a husband s fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. 35 He will not accept any compensation; he will not be pacified even thoughyougivehimmanygifts.(prov.6:23 35) *Literally, theforeigner stongue
Introduction Some time ago there appeared in the theaters a movie about a man who became involvedinanadulterousrelationship.thewomanwithwhomhebecameinvolved turnedouttobeapossessivemaniac:shestalkedhimandatonepointinthemovie attacked him with a butcher knife. Quite appropriately, the movie bore the title, FatalAttraction. FatalAttraction isagoodtitleforanymovieaboutamanwhobecomesinvolvedin anadulterousaffair.asamatteroffact, FatalAttraction isanappropriatetitleto describeanysituationinwhichamanfindshimselfalluredtoawomanotherthan hiswifeandbecomesinvolvedwithherinanadulterousrelationship. FatalAttraction isagoodtitletoapplytothisfifthchapterofproverbs,apassage thatwarnsustobeonguardagainstthesinofsexualimmorality.letusnowgive ourattentiontothispassageofscriptureinwhichwearewarnedtoguardourselves againstadultery. I.GuardYourselfagainstAdultery,byLookingBeyondtheImmediate Attraction Verse3speaksabouttheallurementoftheadulterouswoman:hercharmandher abilitytoentice.(notethattheadulteressisliterallycalled astrange[or,foreign] woman. As a married man, such a woman should be and should remain a strangertoyou;youhavenobusinessbecomingintimatelyacquaintedwithany woman other than your wife.) Her lips drip with honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. She is described as a sweet talker (the picture is that of sweethoneyoozingfreshfromthehoneycomb,somethingthatisveryappealing,) and a smooth talker, ( smoother than oil, very persuasive in alluring unsuspectingvictimsintoherfataltrap.) Verse4cautionsustobewareoftheend(i.e.;thefinaloutcome.)Afteryouhave beenenticedbyherseductions, afteryouhaveyieldedyourselftohercharms, aftertheactofadulteryhasbeencommitted, attheend sheisasbitteras gall. Theinitialexcitement,theinitialpromiseofsweetness,turnintobitterness. Intheenditallturnsintobitternessoftheworstkind: gall [or, wormwood ]. The preacher of Ecclesiastes remarks, I find more bitter than death the woman whoisasnare,whoseheartisatrapandwhosehandsarechains.themanwho pleases God will escape her (Eccl. 7:26.) The adulterous woman is further described as a sharp as a double edged sword. For a conscience that has not becomecallousandthatisstillspirituallyalive,therewillbetorturouslypainful memories,noteverses11 12, Youwillgrieveovertheoutcomeofyourlife,when yourfleshandbodyarewornout. 12 Thenyouwillsay, HowIhatedinstruction!And my heart despised correction! Then, too, there are the extremely painful consequences:
Canamanscoopfireintohislapwithouthisclothesbeingburned? 28 Orcana manwalkonhotcoalswithouthisfeetbeingscorched? 29 Soisthecaseofthe man who goes in to his neighbor s wife: whoever touches her will not go unpunished 33 Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wipedaway, 34 forjealousyarousesahusband sfury,andhewillshownomercy whenhetakesrevenge. 35 Hewillnotacceptanycompensation;hewillnotbe pacifiedeventhoughyougivehimmanygifts.(prov.6:27 29,33 35) Verses5 6provideuswithacharactersketchoftheadulterouswoman. Herfeet godowntodeath. Eachstepshetakesalongthatpathwaybringsagreaterdegree of deadness and hardness to her soul, compare this description with Proverbs 30:20, Thisisthewayofanadulteress:Sheeatsandwipeshermouthandsays, I havenotdoneanythingwicked. Thatistosay,shefeelsnopangsofconscience; sheisbeyondthepointofexperiencingasenseofguilt.eachstepshetakesalong thatpathuntilfinallyshereachesherdestination: Sheol (theplaceofthedead; or,inthiscase,hellitself.)wearealsotoldthat herwaysareunstable. Proverbs 7:11 describes her as being loud [or, clamorous, turbulent] and defiant [rebellious, self willed]; her feet never stay at home (she is restless, discontented,andlookingforillicitadventure.) Guard yourself against adultery, by looking beyond the immediate attraction. Lookattheconsequencesofadultery:thebitternessandtheremorse,thebroken relationships and estrangements that it causes. Look at what it can do to your soulandyourspirituallife:thedeadening,disastrouseffectitcanhaveuponyou, it will eventually make your personality like that of the adulterous woman herself. InanarticleinWORLDmagazine(8/22/98,)J.Budziszewskirelatessomeofthe consequencesofimmoralconductandlifestyle: Deadening: Sex is unparalleled in it ability to unite opposites; according to Scripture, it makes man and woman one flesh. By attaching and tearing loose,attachingandtearingloose,youbuildupscartissueanddeadenyour capacityforintimacy. Deception: Everyone knows that adultery means deception. Less known is thatsodoespremaritalsex.inonestudy,80percentofwomenbutonly12 percentofmenexpectedtomarrytheirpartner.ittakesalotoflyingtokeep thatsortofthinggoing. Exploitation: To lie is to break trust. The more you break trust, the more breakingtrustbecomespartofyourcharacter.ineverytoughspot,yourfirst impulse is to cheat. At first you cheat only your sexual partners, but pretty sooneveryrelationshipglowswiththeluridcolorsofexploitation
Dehumanization: Marital sex humanizes you, because by your openness to thegiftofchildrenyouconnectyourselfwithpastandfuturegenerations.by contrast,promiscuoussexemptiesoutyourhumanityandmakesyoulikethe animals,whohaveneitherhistorynorhope. Selfishness:Inmaritalsexyoulovesomeonegenuinely other withallyour body and soul; promiscuous sex is merely self love with another body. To take one of the most powerfully outward directed impulses in your nature and warp it back inward is to cripple your ability to care about anything outsideyourself. Murder: According to our generation, irresponsible sex is the sin that doesn t hurt anyone. Twenty five years after Roe vs. Wade [the U.S. SupremeCourtdecisionthatgrantedtherighttoabortion]weshouldknow better;tonormalizeincontinencewehadtonormalizemurder. II.GuardYourselfagainstAdultery,byAvoidingTemptingSituations Bearinmindagainthatinthispassagetheadulterouswomanisliterallycalled the strange[or,foreign]woman. Again,asamarriedman,youhavenobusiness becomingintimatelyacquaintedwithanywomanotherthanyourwife.youmay haveco workers,mutualfriends,sistersinchrist,butonanintimatelevelthey shouldbe strangers toyou. Verse8givesusthiswisecounsel: Keeptoapaththatisfarfromher,anddonot gonearthedoorofherhouse. Proverbs7:6 10speaksofayoungman,voidof understanding,whowentoutlookingfortrouble,andtroublefoundhim: AtthewindowofmyhouseIlookedoutthroughthelattice. 7 Inoticedamong thenaïve,iobservedamongtheyoungmen,ayouthwholackedsense. 8 Going down the street near her corner, he went in the direction of her house, 9 at twilight,intheevening,inthemiddleofthenightandinthedarkness. 10 Then outcameawomantomeethim,dressedlikeaprostituteandwithacunning heart.(prov.7:6 10) Proverbs7:25issuestousthewarning: Donotletyourheartturntoherways; do not stray into her paths. Consider, too, the admonition of Malachi 2:15b, guardyourselfinyourspirit,anddonotbreakfaithwiththewifeofyouryouth. In Proverbs 23:26 27, the father of Proverbs gives this counsel to his son: My son,givemeyourheart,andletyoureyesdelightinmyways; 27 foraprostituteisa deep ditch, and an adulteress is a narrow well. Note: A narrow well is something in which you get stuck and cannot get out. Consider the example of JosephwhenPotiphar swiferepeatedlysoughttoseducehim: Andthoughshe spoketojosephdayafterday,herefusedtogotobedwithherorevenbewithher (Gen.39:10.)
Verses9 14reinforcetheadmonitiontostayawayfromtemptingsituationsby again revealing the consequences of adultery and sexual immorality. You will giveawayyourhonorandgiveyouryearstothosewhoarecruel (vs.9.)youwill surrenderyourreputation,yourgoodname,yourrespect,andyourintegrity;in exchange,youwillbecomeanobjectofscorn,contempt,ridicule,andgossipin the mouth of cruel men for years to come, even all the years of your life. Strangerswillfeastonyourwealthandyouwilllaborinthehouseofanalien (vs. 10.) You will be reduced to poverty, bound to do menial work for others. The costofadulteryandsexualimmoralitymayalsobemeasuredinfinancialterms as well as spiritual terms: the loss of family, the loss of standing in the community,thelossofconfidenceonthepartofothersinyourtrustworthiness andmoralintegrity.thelossofthesethingsmanytimestranslatesintofinancial lossaswell,noteproverbs6:26a, Onaccountofaprostituteamanisreducedto eatingacrustofbread. Solongasyourconscienceisstillalive,youwillexperiencetheterribleagonyof guiltandremorse:"youwillgrieveovertheoutcomeofyourlife,whenyourflesh andbodyarewornout. 12 Thenyouwillsay, HowIhatedinstruction!Andmyheart despisedcorrection! 13 Iwouldnotobeythevoiceofmyteachers,orlistentothose who instructed me! (Prov. 5: 11 13.) The memories of obstinate, rebellious, sinfulbehaviorcanweighuponamanwithexcruciatingpain. Ihavecometothebrinkofutterruininthemidstofthewholeassembly! (vs.14.) Note:TheHebrewword,er1,hasboththemeaningofevilandruinorcalamity. Here is the testimony of one who is overwhelmed by his guilt in the midst of God sholyassembly,comparepsalm40:12b, Myiniquitieshaveovertakenme,so thatiamnotabletolookup. Guardyourselfagainstadultery,byavoidingtemptingsituations, andthereby avoidingthetragicconsequencesofadulteryandsexualimmorality. III.GuardYourselfagainstAdultery,byEnjoyingYourOwnSpouse Verse15exhortsus, Drinkwaterfromyourowncistern,freshwaterfromyour ownwell. Thisisapoeticwayofsaying,letyoursexualdesiresbesatisfiedwith your own spouse. Note the counsel the Apostle Paul gives to the Corinthian church: Butsincethereissomuchimmorality,leteachmanhavehisownwife,andlet each woman have her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital dutytohiswife,andlikewisethewife[shouldfulfillherduty]toherhusband. 4 Thewife sbodydoesnotbelongtoher[alone],butalsotoherhusband;and likewise, the husband s body does not belong to him [alone], but also to his wife.(1cor.7:2 4)
Verse 16 poses the question, Should your spring overflow in the streets streamsofwaterinthepublicsquare? Hereisapoeticwayofpointingoutthe inappropriateness and the wrongfulness of promiscuous sex. Note the admonitiontheapostlepaulgivestothethessalonianchurch: It is God s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 thateachofyoushouldlearntocontrolhisownbodyinaway thatisholyandhonorable, 5 notinpassionatelustliketheheathen,whodonot knowgod; 6 andthatinthismatternooneshouldwronghisbrotherortake advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have alreadytoldyouandwarnedyou. 7 Goddidnotcallustobeimpure,buttolive aholylife. 8 Therefore,hewhorejectsthisinstructiondoesnotrejectmanbut God,whogivesyouhisHolySpirit.(1Thess.4:3 8) Verse17urgesus, Letthem[yoursprings]beforyourselfalone,nottobeshared withstrangers. Hereispoeticallyemphasizedtheintimateandsacrednatureof thesexualact;itissomethingtobeexperiencedandenjoyedexclusivelywithin the bonds of marriage. Consider the description of the marital relationship as presentedingenesis2:22 24, ThenJehovahGodmadeawomanfromtheribhehadtakenoutoftheman, andhebroughthertotheman. 23 Thenthemansaid, Thisisnowboneofmy bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother,andshallbeboundtohiswife;andtheyshallbeoneflesh.(gen.2:22 24) Verse 18 expresses the desire, May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoiceinthewifeofyouryouth. HereisexpressedGod sdesirethat,withinthe confinesofmarriage,hisgoodgiftofsexbeenjoyedtothefullwithhisblessing. Inverse19thewifeisportrayedasalovinglydoeandagracefuldeer.Thewife presentsherselfaslovelyandsexuallyattractivetoherhusband thehebrew words emphasize the sensuous, the romantic, and especially the feminine qualitiesofgrace,beauty,andelegance.thehusbandisexhortedtobealways satisfiedandcompletelycaptivatedwithhiswife slove. Guard yourself against adultery, by enjoying your own spouse. Wives, seek to makeyourselfasphysicallyandsexuallyattractiveasyoucanforyourhusband. Husbands, do not be infatuated by the perfect beauties of the Hollywood movies; allow yourself to be satisfied and fulfilled with the wife the LORD has givenyou.
Conclusion Verse 20 raises the question, Why, my son, should you be ravished with an adulteress? Why should you embrace the bosom of a stranger? (Why should you allowyourselftobecaptivatedwithawomanotherthanyourwifeandenterintoan illicitsexualrelationshipwithher?) Theimpliedanswer:Thereisabsolutelynogoodreasontodoso; andthereisa very good reason not to do so!the LORD watches over a man, carefully examining hispaths(hisdecisionsandactions)(vs.21.)forthemanwhorefusesthecounselof God,thefinaloutcomeisdeath(vs.23.) Fatal Attraction is, indeed, a very appropriate title to describe the situation in which a man finds himself allured to a woman other than his wife and becomes involved with her in an adulterous relationship. As the preacher of Ecclesiastes observes, Ifindmorebitterthandeaththewomanwhoisasnare,whoseheartisa trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her (Eccl. 7:26.)