"Viral Video" By Tyler Higgins Part of "Squirt!" the Web Series Higgonaitor@yahoo.com
INT. S ROOM--DAY Seana and Nico finish tying Sue and Lisa to their chairs. Sue and Lisa are currently still under Sean s trance. Why are we tying them up if we have them tranced? A safety precaution. We still don t know how the people I hypnotize get un-hypnotized without the key word. What s the key word? Beetlejuice. Sue and Lisa wake up. What the? SUE LISA Sean? Nico? What s going on? Ugh, Nico, look what you made me do. Sean takes out the pocketwatch. It s you! SUE Sean holds up the pocket watch and lets it spin in front of them. Shut-up. Lisa and Sue obey. They look dazed. Maybe you should ask who Squirt is? I ll come up with the ideas, Nico! Sean turns back to Lisa and Sue.
CONTINUED: 2. Who is Squirt, the super boy? INT. S CAR--DAY Dan drives, his speakers blasting Barbara Ann. along, incorrectly. He belts out Saw Betty-Lou, saw Mary-Sue, saw Susie-Q but I knew she wouldn t do, Barbara Ann! OPENING TITLES: "Squirt!" Dan continues singing, when his cell phone rings. down the music and answers it. He turns Hello? Wanda Withers scoots down the street angrily clutching a newspaper in one hand and a cell phone against her ear in the other. Hello, Squirt? INT. S CAR--DAY Dan is caught off guard. Um, yeah? I guess. Yeah, that s me. This is Wanda Withers, Truth Seeker. Yes, hello. Did you happen to see this mornings paper?
3. INT. S CAR--DAY Dan starts to talk: Yea- Well there was an article in it, apparently written by me that I have no recollection of writing. Not only that, I have no recollection of the past day. All I remember is- INT. S CAR--DAY Where are you Wanda? talk. We should I m walking down Sycamore street. INT. S CAR--DAY Dan looks confused....i m driving down Sycamore street. Dan looks out his window and sees Wanda looking back from th sidewalk. He pulls over, and gets out. Hey! I m on the phone! No, it s me, I m Squirt!
CONTINUED: 4. You re Squirt? Dan realizes he s blown his cover. He snaps his fingers. Shoot. INT. S ROOM--DAY Dan?! Dan Adams is Squirt?! Well, he s been friends with Rufus for a while, and, uh, Squirt sort of looks just like him so it s not really that big of a stretch... Dan Adams couldn t tie his own shoes if his life depended on it! He s the one that s been screwing with my plans? He s my big rival? He s the Batman to my Joker? Ha. That makes Rufus Alfred. Quiet Nico, I have another question: How, Susan, does Dan do it? How does he stop my trances? SUE Water in their eyes. What?! Water? Well that s just great! Of course the one normally useless power Dan Adams has becomes the Achilles heel to my own ability. Simmer, Sean. Don t you tell me to simmer, Nico. You don t know what it s like. You don t know how it feels (MORE)
CONTINUED: 5. (cont d) to have something great, only to have it destroyed by some total ass. But we re getting revenge, Sean, that video s going to be really popular, and everyone who watches it will spread that viscious rumor about- A rumor, Nico? A rumor? Our big villainous act is a rumor? How weak is that? No, turn on the web cam. We re making a new video. What? Nico frowns. We aren t going to just ruin Rufus s life--we re going to take it from him. INT. S LIVING ROOM--DAY Gigi sits watching the fashion channel. Rufus walks in with the newspaper. Gigi s accent is as heavy as ever. Apparently, Gigi,theres a new Youtube video that will simply change your life. GIGI Mine specifically? I did not know I was that big a deal here yet. No, like, anyone that watches it. Rufus sits in front of his computer, and pulls up Youtube. Gigi walks over. Here it is. Rufus presses play. Sean appears on the screen.
CONTINUED: 6. Rufus pauses it. Hello America. What?! Sean Siller? I m writing a letter to the editor! Rufus gets up and storms off. Gigi presses play. Sean pulls out his pocket watch. See this? This means I own you. Gigi looks dazed. The video get bizarre--their are flashes of the pocketwatch, flashes of sean, flashes of stock footage of death, and flashes of Rufus--and it s all set to some bizarre sounding music. Sean talks over it as well. Find Rufus. Find him. Kill him. Use whatver neccesary. Do not fear the law. Overcome your obstacles. FInd Rufus Charleston, and kill him. He s been a bad person. Find Dan Adams. Find him and kill him. They ve been decieving you. (Etc.) Gigi, dazed, stands up from in front of the computer, grabs a pencil, and sharpens it before heading off in the direction of Rufus. Rufees... GIGI INT. S KITCHEN--DAY Rufus sits writing a letter. his cell phone rings. This is Rufus Charleston, may I ask withwhom I m speaking? INT. CLOSET--DAY Nico stands in a closet, on his cell phone.
CONTINUED: 7. Rufus, it s Nico- INT. S KITCHEN--DAY Rufus frowns angrily. Nico Tamberelli? If you re calling to gloat I ll have you know- INT. CLOSET--DAY Nico rolls his eyes. Just shut up and listen, I don t have long. Sean s gone crazy-- No. Shut upt and listen Rufus, this is important! He s the one thats been hypnotizing people. The video, the one on Youtube, it s gonna make people try to kill you! INT. S KITCHEN--DAY Gigi enters, holding the sharpened pencil above her head, dagger style. Right, Nico. Very fun- Rufus sneezes, lunging forward and causing Gigi to just miss stabbing hm through the neck. -ny-holy Shit! Gigi, what are you doing! Rufus left the phone on the table, but he can still barely hear Nico: He s got Sue! and Lisa! RUfus, he has Sue Gigi stabs the phone.
CONTINUED: 8. Oh-my-god, Gigi, we are sooooo over. Dan and Wanda walk down the street. So you think you were hypnotized by this villain and that the Youtube video from the article is supposed to hypnotize, like, lots of people? If you want to waste time paraphrasing the truth, yes, that is what I think. To get down to buisness, i have this. Wanda wips out a piece of paper with a farely accurate pencil sketch of Nico. I had this drawn up back at the paper. I already have them issuing a statement in an update issue on stands at five, but I think that may be too late. This is, i believe, the accomplice to the hypnotist. Thats Nico! From school! You think he s doing all this? God, you re slow. No, I think he s the accomplice. Who is he, who does he hang around? Dan s phone rings, he pulls it out and answers it. Hello?
9. INT. CLOSET--DAY Nico is still in the closet with his phone. Dan, it s Nico, I have something important to- The closet door opens. Sean stands there. What are you doing? Um... Sean holds up the watch. Dan and Wanda stand. Dan has his phone to his ear. Nico? Nico? Hello? Dan closes his phone and puts it back in hs pocket. He, uh, hung up. He sounded like he was trying to tell me something. Maybe he was trying to tell you--the Truth! Wanda looks directly into the camera. CLOSING TITLES: "Squirt!" INT. S KITCHEN--DAY Gigi pulls a knife out from the knife block. Rufus looks around, sees a vase with flowers, pulls the flowers out and throws the water at Gigi. GIGI What the hell Rufees?! Honestly, you probably deserved that. Case in point: I m going to save Susan, so, well, ciao!
CONTINUED: 10. Rufus waves and runs out the door, where a group of dazed looking citizens await him with various weapons. He snaps his fingers, as if to say: Well, shoot. END OF THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE! (9)!