Men s study #1; A layperson s study of brokenness and transformation A Tale of Three Kings & 1 Samuel 1-14 1
Mission: To become a closely connected network of men living in the reality of the Lordship of Jesus Christ who have developed the ability to influence every part of the world around us for our Father s kingdom. Vision: To have a church full of empowered men who continue to grow as Christians by moving the concept of Jesus Lordship from theory to everyday life application by developing and applying seven key principles Philosophy: Our goal is an ongoing process of character development. As we apply the seven concepts and allow the Holy Spirit to change our character we will become light in a dark and unsaved world and will grow in our ability to influence our family, church, friends, community and places of work. Because character development is a never-ending journey our focus will be on becoming more like Christ instead of achieving a specific skill (i.e. instead of acquiring parenting skills we will work on becoming Godly men who will be good fathers). We want to connect with the transforming power of God s saving love in our lives (gospel) rather than on man-made resolutions (law), which are specific achievements. We believe that our spiritual journey is a relay and not an individual race. The objective is to build on each other s success (relay) while working together to become more like Christ and not trying to beat (individual race) our Christian brothers in an attempt to claim the top spot on the religious podium. KINGDOM CONCEPTS K: Kingdom (We must be born again) We believe Jesus Christ is the unseen ruler of this world. We believe His death and resurrection point the way to the ultimate reality in which Jesus Christ is Lord of our world and our lives. We believe His death for our sins washed us clean and that His resurrection has made us new. We strive to live in the reality of God's kingdom and our new lives. I: Initiative (Take responsibility for our spiritual growth and character development) We believe that passivity is Adam's first sin ("the woman you gave me...") and one of a man s most typical failures. We take responsibility for our spiritual growth, character development and for our world including our marriages, families, church, workplace and community. We refuse to fall into a passive, victim mentality. N: kneeling (Submit to authority) We believe God has established systems of authority within which we must operate. To step outside of these or attempt to circumvent them is dangerous and destructive. We believe the appropriate posture before one in authority is submission (captured here by the word "kneeling, which is richly nuanced. We know that one day every knee will bow to Jesus Christ and that those in authority are also under authority, whether or not they see it.). "Kneeling" also captures our commitment and the requirement to pray for those in authority and for those under our care, understanding that the world is Christ's, not ours. G: Grace (Accept God s grace) We learn to accept God's grace in our lives and extend it liberally to others. We celebrate the uniqueness of each person as God created him to be and we do not try to change him into who we think he should be. We leave the final judgment of a man s soul to God. Our role is to love one another and point each other to Christ. D: Death (Be willing to be shaped and changed into the likeness of Christ) We embrace the fact that in order to enter into God's new life for us, the old, self-centered existence must be abandoned. The process of growth is often painful, challenging and goes against our nature; however, to run from pain, conflict and accountability is to run from the very instruments God often uses to change our character. Each day we must die to our self-centered wants and desires, and boldly pursue righteousness. O: Organic Transformation (Humility in learning) We cannot possibly understand, let alone explain, all that God is doing in other people or our world. Because each of us is at a different point of spiritual growth, we remain eager to learn from each other while resisting the urge to give simplistic answers, mechanical approaches and simple solutions to problems. We pray for each other while acknowledging that the answers to most of life s questions are complex and the most we can hope to do is to share what God is allowing us to understand at this point in our Christian journey. M: Masterpiece (Pursuing excellence) We believe we are God's workmanship, created in His image for His glory. To shine as brightly as we can in this world we must pursue excellence in every area of our lives and refuse to accept being average fathers, husbands, employees, church members, and leaders. By shining as brightly as we can in this world, we can draw attention not to ourselves, but to our Father in heaven, thereby allowing Him to have the glory. 2
Principle 1: Our real calling to apply knowledge I believe our society today is more focused on acquiring knowledge than it is on applying knowledge. Knowledge, in and of itself, is neither valuable nor invaluable; rather, it depends solely on how a person chooses to use it. This is particularly true in the church and in our spiritual lives. Christians have a tendency to confuse knowledge with Godliness. It is sometimes assumed that if a person memorizes a lot of scripture, or if he reads books by esteemed religious leaders or if he has a good memory and can talk about what he reads, than he must be strong in his faith. This is a flawed assumption for two main reasons. First, because James 1:22-25 tells us that it doesn t matter how much we know, but rather, it is how much we put into practice that makes the difference (be doers of the word, not just hears only). And second, knowledge can produce pride unless we stay focused on where all knowledge comes from (God) and remember that it is He who allows us to learn. The question I believe every Christian should ask ourselves is this: Am I applying both the truth of God and the other knowledge that I am learning, and am I growing as a result? When I teach business seminars I always ask, Who has read the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? and without fail, many hands go up. But if I change the question to, How much of the book are you applying in your life? I get a different result every time. One of my mentors taught me this principle: Successful growth occurs when we work every day to apply the truths we learn. That is my hope for you as you work at applying the principles you will learn in this study. A part of the men s ministry is to have studies that not only focus on learning, but more importantly, on applying the principles learned. A key portion of the studies is the section of open-ended questions. It is vital to realize that these questions are designed to focus us on searching our hearts in order allow the Holy Spirit to reveal within ourselves. 3
Principle 2: Understanding that everything is interrelated Personal growth is helped by realizing that everything in life is interrelated. Which is easier to learn; history, math, science, or literature when they are all taught as single subjects or when they are woven together into a story? In a story correct? Anytime our interest is engaged our minds open to learning, and when our minds open to learning we tend to absorb the information easier. Isn t this why Jesus spoke in parables? He told a story that people could relate to that described a principle or a truth, knowing that if we could connect with the story then learning and internalizing the principle would be easier. The challenge I face and I think most Christians face is training ourselves to see the interrelated nature of the principles. For example, if I am having a hard time getting along with a co-worker, could it be that the lessons I learn from working through those issues might also work to help me work through issues at home with my spouse or with friends at church? How about challenges with a subordinate at work? As I grow in my leadership skills at work will that help me be a better parent or a better leader for my community? Our goal in the men s ministry is to grow in our character to be more like Christ, and as a result, become men capable of being good dads, husbands, bosses, and workers. To accomplish this, we must welcome the Lord using all areas of our lives to expedite our character growth. 4
Principle 3: The process of changing core beliefs The human brain is probably the most complex object known to man. Not only does it drive our emotions, feelings, thoughts and motivations but it makes every human different in how those emotions, feeling, toughts and motivations are expressed. As we allow the Holy Spirit to heal our past hurts and change our unhealthy core beliefs we become capable of ministering to others. Mat 7: 3-5; tells us to remove the plank from your eye before you try and remove the spec from your brother s eye. Could it be that a big part of removing that plank is allowing the Holy Spirit to help us understand and work on our blind or hidden areas (our hurts, biasis, bitterness) before we start telling others what they should be doing? As we heal our open areas expand, we become better equiped and prepared to help others work through their process with grace and love. As we become men who learn to focus on our character growth first, extend love and grace to others who are struggling will we not find more success in our careers, marriages, families and communities? The Johari Window represents the four windows of our lives and it allows us a way to understand the process of personal and spirital growth. Johari stated that the goal is to expand the open area of our lives (which gives us freedom) by shrinking the hidden and/or blind areas of our lives (which hold us in bondage). There are several ways to shrink those boxes including our small groups, recovery classes, friendships and ultimately the active work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. A part of the men s ministry is to create an environment where men are safe to work on the hidden and blind areas of their lives with the goal of becoming more like Christ. 5
For Facilitators I.Understand the mission/vision/goals of men s ministry II.Understand the role of the facilitator in the group III.Work to ensure each member of the group feels welcome and is included in the discussions IV.Stay in touch with MM leader and provide feedback on how the group is growing V.Be one of the last to speak after everyone else has weighed in For Members I. Be open to the Lord s desire to work in you II. Keep the study focused on you and not others III. Share your experiences when you feel comfortable IV. Respect each person s point of view This study is not about who has the right answer but it is about what the Lord is revealing to each man depending on where he is in his journey Goals For the Study I.This study is designed to be personal between you and the Lord; therefore, it is focused on the individual s point of view. It is vital that we focus on ourselves rather than on others so that we can see where the Lord wants to change us & make us more into His image. II.Our understanding of God s word, laws & principles will develop and change over time just as our understanding of life issues develop & change as we mature as adults. It is important to acknowledge that God s words, laws and principles never change, but it is our understanding that changes as we wrestle with God s truths & work at applying these principles in our lives. III.We want to be different as a result of the study. Our aim is not just to acquire knowledge, but to focus on how we can apply that knowledge in our lives. The application of truth is the key element the Lord uses to change/transform us into His image. Growth is a never-ending journey, not a destination. We can stop along the way to enjoy the view or to enjoy our growth, but the ultimate goal is to make noticeable progress over time as we journey to become Godly Men of Influence. 6
Introduction The Old Testament is full of some of our favorite characters. Stories of Joseph, Sampson, Ruth, Esther, Samuel and Moses are read and reread in Christian and non-christian homes alike. Anyone reading, hearing or watching these stories finds himself enthralled by the drama and themes of righteousness, evil, redemption and grace. These stories tell us how the great men and women of God held onto their faith in times of great crisis and tragedy while continuing to live it out in their everyday lives. I strongly believe these stories should be part of our constant study so as to teach and guide us in the principles that taught and guided these great examples of our faith. Perhaps by careful study we may find our own character formed in the same manner as was theirs. My hope is that by studying not only the events, but the deeper principles embedded in the Biblical account of David, Saul and Absalom, we will feel compelled to give God a free hand to lead us on our own exciting spiritual journey as we mature in our faith. The story of David and Saul is about two average, ordinary men who are called by God to do something very special. Saul and David are both unassuming men from blue-collar families each without any special qualifications or degrees, and neither seeking any special recognition. They were both focused on their own lives until God called them and put them each on a path to greatness. Despite coming from similar backgrounds each man handled his success differently and, as a result, impacted the millions of Israelite people in very different ways. We have a third individual inserted into the story who is himself, a typical young man. Raised in the home of a successful father he struggles, as most young men do, with becoming his own man. This third person is Absalom, David s very own son. Raised in an affluent home, he believes his opportunities don t come directly from God but instead, he believes his father s success justifies his right to be great, and sets out to bring about his success by his own effort and power. This decision to plow ahead of God s purpose and calling exposes his character flaws and sets him on a collision course with his father and with an entire nation. Absalom, a young man who probably means well, lets his desire for greatness lead him down the path of rebellion a path which ultimately leads to his downfall and inflicts pain, destruction and disappointment not only upon his father, but on the entire nation of Israel. This is a study of character growth and personal development. At the heart of this story is the difference between three men. David, who allowed the Lord to continually teach, train and shape his character and Saul & Absalom who did not. One of the men becomes Israel s greatest king while the other two suffer similar and premature deaths. My prayer is that the Spirit of God will reveal truths to you that, when implanted in your life, will bring about spiritual growth, personal and professional success, and ultimately, the furthering of our Father s Kingdom. As we join together for this exciting journey, let us anticipate that, as the story unfolds, we will find it rivals the best movies, love stories or books that we have ever encountered. Blessings, Daniel 7
Chapter Summaries Week 1: Part I A Tale of Three Kings Chapters 1-10 Chapters 1-3: Sets the table for David being broken Chapters 4-5: Lays out the plan for brokenness Chapters 6-7: Spear throwing and who you become in the process Chapters 8-9: The King Saul in us Chapter 10: Response to Saul Week 2: Part I A Tale of Three Kings Chapters 11-18 Chapters 11-12: Life on the run Chapter 13: What change looks like Chapter 14: Influence of others and David s response Chapter 15: Who was Saul and what made him that way? Chapter 16: How do I know who Saul is? Chapter 17: Who was David? Chapter 18: Who are we really? Week 3: Part II A Tale of Three Kings Chapters 19-27 Chapter 19: A boy s view of Absalom Chapter 20: The rebellion starts Chapter 21: What rebellion is Chapter 22: David faced with how to respond Chapter 23: David is tested once again Chapter 24: Saul is Absalom, Absalom is Saul Chapter 25: Rebellion starts Chapter 26: Beginning to see rebellion for what it can go into once it is named King Chapter 27: David s response to the rebellion Week 4: 1 Samuel Chapters 8-10: Israel demands a king & Saul s selection Week 5: 1 Samuel Chapters 11-12: Saul s confirmation Week 6: 1 Samuel Chapters 13 14: War with the Philistines & Jonathan s victory Meeting Schedule 7:00-7:05 Welcome 7:05 7:15 A blessing or a challenge from the previous week & opening prayer 7:15-7:25 Last week s life application of a principle learned from the previous week 7:25 7:55 Bible Study 7:55 8:05 Reflective time to answer written questions 8:05-8:25 Sharing 8:25 8:30 Prayer request & closing prayer 8
Discussion questions for week 1: A Tale of Three Kings - Chapters 1-10 1) How can I break the cycle of wounding? What makes this hard to accomplish? *1 2) Who throws spears at me? How does God want me to respond? *4 3) Have I broken? Why do I tend to avoid this? When do I most clearly see the sufficiency of God s grace?*3 4) Do I agree with the author s assertion that God knows, but He never tells us who is a David or a Saul? How does my answer affect my view of God s relationship with His children?*7 Life Application: What principle from today s study, if implemented will have a major impact in my life? I will implement that principle by * Denotes a question from the book followed by the specific number of the question 9
Discussion questions for week 2: A Tale of 3 Kings - Chapters 11-18 Life Application Follow-up: How well did I implement last week s principle and what were the results? 1) What needs to happen to put my inner Saul to death? *8 2) God s prophet had anointed David when he was a boy, but for years David saw only hardship and danger. How can I remain faithful between the promise and the payoff? What might make it difficult for me to remain faithful even after the payoff has arrived? *2 3) Chapter 6 deals largely with God s divine establishment of authority. Read Romans 13: 1-7. What is my reaction to these concepts? What concepts do I find hard to swallow? *6 Life Application: What principle from today s study, if implemented will have a major impact in my life? I will implement that principle by * Denotes a question from the book followed by the specific number of the question 10
Discussion questions for week 3: A Tale of 3 Kings - Chapters 19-27 Life Application Follow-up: How well did I implement last week s principle and what were the results? 1) Does all rebellion cause division? Is division part of God plan to bring about change? How do I respond when I hear of a rebellion growing? 2) The author contends that Sauls & Absaloms are the same, do I agree? Why? 3) Chapter 23 describes how David responded to Saul, is that the pattern I should follow? If so, how can I become man capable of following authority? 4) Why do we as humans so have to justify our actions? Life Application: What principle from today s study, if implemented will have a major impact in my life? I will implement that principle by * Denotes a question from the book followed by the specific number of the question 11
Discussion questions for week 4: I Samuel Chapters 8 10 Life Application Follow-up: How well did I implement last week s principle and what were the results? 1) Israel let the behavior of Samuel s sons justify their desire for a king and trump God s plan for them. Do I justify my actions separate from God s plan based on negative conditions in life? 2) Why did God choose Saul? What attributes do I use to choose my leaders? Do I have a tendency to choose based on the external appearance or on the character of the person? 3) God put His spirit on Saul and he was able to do mighty works for the Lord but over the long haul, Saul turned his back on God. What does this say about me & my potential to turn my back on God? 4) The author points out that once the Spirit of God is given to someone He won t take it away. We see David living this principle out when he refused to raise a hand against Saul despite all the things Saul did against God. How do I respond when I see Christians turn away from God despite His spirit being on them. Do I react like David and give respect? If not, how do I justify my behavior? Life Application: What principle from today s study, if implemented will have a major impact in my life? I will implement that principle by * Denotes a question from the book followed by the specific number of the question 12
Discussion questions for week 5: I Samuel Chapters 11-12 Life Application Follow-up: How well did I implement last week s principle and what were the results? 1) The children of Israel always waited until they were in trouble to call on God. Is this a common character trait for humans? If so, why? 2) Am I guilty of only calling out to God when I am in trouble? If so, why? 3) Do I spend as much time in prayer when things are going well as when I am in trouble, sick or scared? 4) In 1 Samuel, 12: 23 Samuel declares that he should not sin by not praying for the people Israel. Does that mean I am sinning if I don t pray for Christians today? Life Application: What principle from today s study, if implemented will have a major impact in my life? _ I will implement that principle by * Denotes a question from the book followed by the specific number of the question 13
Discussion questions for week 6: I Samuel 13-14 Life Application Follow-up: How well did I implement last week s principle and what were the results? 1) How would you characterize Saul s leadership up to this point? Do you feel that Saul s faith guides his decisions or does he rely upon his own feelings to make decisions? Do you think Saul s reliance on himself helps or hurts his ability to lead Israel? 2) In chapter 13 versus 11-14 Saul was informed that his disobedience has cost him his throne. Do you think this knowledge led to his treatment of David? If so, do you think that was part of God s plan so that he could grow and refine David? 3) What do you think was the motivator for Saul s order to his people not to eat until he avenged himself? Do you think this helped or hurt his influence with Israel? Do you think his decision helped or hurt the cause of winning the battle? Life Application: In light of the last 6 weeks, how has this study impacted my life? How can I continue applying these principles? What steps can I take to ensure I remain open to the Lord s refining work in my life? What will be the biggest payoff in my life if I continue to pursue becoming a person of influence? * Denotes a question from the book followed by the specific number of the question 14