1 PRAY! Letting Go of Your Past Text: Philippians 3:12-14 November 11, 2007 Park Boulevard Presbyterian Church (www.pbpc.org) Oakland, California Rev. Chris Gelini This morning we begin a new series called Building Better Relationships. I want to thank Rick Warren for being a resource. It doesn t matter how wealthy you are, how famous you are, how many things you have in life, if your relationships are bad, life is miserable. Your happiness is largely determined by your ability to get along with other people. The Bible is the greatest book on relationships. It talks about building a relationship to God and a relationship to each other. Today, we re going look at one of the greatest causes of why people have bad relationships they don t let go of the past. Let us look at Philippians 3:12-14, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But this one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Paul is pointing out a fact: I let go of the past and strain toward the future, and he s making the point that we need to learn in relationships I cannot relate to the present if I m still reacting to the past. This morning I want us to look at what three things we need to do to forget the former and focus on the future. I. I MUST GIVE UP MY GRUDGES. A. Ephesians 4:31-32, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate toward one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. B. Get rid of all bitterness. Chuck it! Throw it away! Eliminate it! Don t hold on to resentment. If you do, it will ruin your relationships. There are few things in life that cause more damage to relationships than resentment. 1. We depend on other people to meet our needs physical needs, financial needs, social needs, spiritual needs. And when our needs are not met, we get angry at people. You re not meeting my needs! And we get resentful. C. The problem is it doesn t work. When you re resentful, it doesn t upset the other person, it upsets you. You re the one who s hurting. Resentment never hurts the other person; it hurts you. Don t give the
2 other person the power to control you. Nobody can make you mad without your permission. You are allowing them to make you mad. F. Job 5:2, To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do. It doesn t help. It only hurts. G. Who are you holding a grudge against? Former girlfriend? Former spouse? An employer? A parent? A brother/sister? A teacher who hurt you when you were in school? If you re still holding on to the hurt, you need to let go of your grudges. H. The only alternative is to forgive everybody else just as God has forgiven you. You are forgiven, so be forgiving. Give up grudges. 2. I MUST GIVE UP MY GRIEF A. Sorrow is a part of life. Everybody eventually experiences loss. And it hurts. Grieving and mourning are natural. The Bible says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. B. Everybody here hurts. Everybody here has heartaches. We ve all experienced them in life. Do not allow your pain to make you a prisoner of that pain such that you don t allow anybody to get close to you because you might get hurt again. You have to let go of your grief so you can have good relationships today. C. How do I let go of grief? There s a story in 2 Samuel 12 about King David. David had an illegitimate child by Bathsheba. He took another man s wife and had her husband killed. It was a sin. She became pregnant and bore a son and the son became very, very sick. David, it says, laid himself out on the ground and prayed for days, God, save this child! Spare the child! He fasted and prayed and wept. And the child died. 2 Samuel 12:16 & 18, David pleaded with God for the child and he fasted and he went into his house and he spent nights lying on the ground. But on the seventh day the child died. David did three things when the child died to let go of his grief. 1. Accept what cannot be changed. 2 Samuel 12:22, Then David got up from the ground. He said, While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, but now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back to life? No. David said, While there was a chance I prayed and wept but now he s dead. And I ve got to get on with life. He accepted what could not be changed. Some of you are in pain now from events that happened years and years ago. The key to your peace of mind is in one word acceptance. Acceptance of God s will in your life. Let go of your grief. It relives so much pain. 2. Play it down and Pray it up. You don t exaggerate it The world has ended! The world has not ended. You re heartbroken but the world has not ended. You don t exaggerate it, you dedicate it through prayer. Notice what David did: The child had died and it says, After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and
3 worshipped. What did David do with his grief? He went to church. And he worshipped. Those of you whose hearts are breaking right now, focus on God; on the One who is greater than the circumstance. I m not lessening the significance of your loss, but I am saying, for your own sake, you must accept what cannot be changed and you must play it down and pray it up. That person in your life is not coming back. 3. Focus on what s left not what s lost. It says, Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. He still had friends, family, loved ones. And he looked at what he had left, not what he had lost. 3. THIRD, I MUST GIVE UP MY GUILT. A. Some people refuse to accept forgiveness from God. They hang on to their guilt. They lock themselves into a prison as if they re paying for their own sins. B. There are many people who make a mistake and feel like they blew it and the rest of their life is Plan B. They think they can no longer have God s best for their life. If you feel that way, you are wrong. There is hope. That s the message of the good news, that we have a forgiving, gracious, loving God, the God of the second chances. But you ve got to give up your guilt. C. How? There are two approaches to guilt. One is right and one is wrong. We see both of these in the Bible, in two of the disciples of Jesus Peter and Judas. Both Peter and Judas, on the night before Jesus was taken into custody, denied Jesus. They both sinned. But they responded very, very differently to their guilt. You will choose one of these two responses to the guilt you have in life. One way is right and one is wrong. 1. The way Judas responded was condemnation selfcondemnation. Matthew 27:3, 5, When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse. The he went out and hanged himself. He committed suicide. That s the ultimate expression of selfcondemnation. He said, I ve blown it! I ve made the biggest mistake of my life! I ve created the greatest sin! My life is worthless and I m condemned. He went out and took his own life. And there are many, many ways to live in condemnation without committing suicide. 2. Peter s response, on the other hand, was not condemnation but confession. Matthew 26:75, Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken and he went outside and wept bitterly. He has the same remorse Judas did but he confessed his sin. How do I know he did that? Because a few days later God used him. Peter must have said, God, I m sorry. I lived with Jesus
4 Christ for 3 ½ years. I ve watched every move and when it came down in a clench I copped out! I denied I ever knew You. God, I ve really let You down! Have you ever said that to God? This may shock you but nothing you ever do surprises God. Isn t it amazing that God knows every dumb mistake I m going to make for the rest of my life and yet He still loves me? He already knows. That s grace folks. D. Peter said, God, how could You use me? I m so unfaithful. But he confessed his sin. He repented and Peter, the man who denied Jesus Christ at the crucifixion, was the same man that God chose to use 50 days later on the day of Pentecost. Peter spoke and 3000 people were saved. That s the God of the second chance. That s the good news. You confess it to God. 1. The Bible says, If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That s the soap bar verse of the Bible. Total cleansing. Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross so you can quit nailing yourself to a cross. The Bibles says, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation; the old has gone; the new has come! The moment you commit your life to Christ it s all washed out, the slate is clean. You become a new person inside. It s being born again, starting over. A brand new shot at life. PRAYER Would you follow me in a simple prayer? If God has spoken to you this morning and you know it, would you say silently in your heart, Dear Jesus, I ve been holding on to this grudge for too long. When I think of that person it still hurts. But I want to give it up today. I want to let it go. I want to give up my grudges today. I want to quit keeping a record of wrongs in my marriage. Lord, I ask You to forgive me for taking out my resentment on people who weren t even involved in it God, help me to accept the fact that the past cannot be changed. That the past is the past and help me to focus on what I have left, not on what I ve lost. Help me to play it down and pray it up. God, please forgive every sin I ve ever done. Help me to accept Your forgiveness and to forgive myself. Lord, help me to offer forgiveness to other people. Jesus Christ wants to know you in a personal way. You cannot have the ultimate in relationships with other people until first you have a right relationship with God. Would you say, Jesus Christ, I don t understand it all but would You put Your Spirit in my life today? Make Yourself real to me today. I invite You into my heart and life. I want to be a Christian. I want to believe in You. I
5 want You to guide me in my relationships. Thank You for loving me and dying for me. Father, thank You for Your Word. May this church be a church known for vibrant dynamic relationships, where people are open and honest about their cares and hurts and fears and failures and yet there is a spirit of unconditional acceptance within our midst. For we pray this in Jesus name. Amen