Session 6 Love is Not a Feeling but a Choice Memory Verse 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, CSB 1
Session 6 Love is Not a Feeling but a Choice THEOLOGICAL THEME: Love is choosing to act like Christ, even when it is not the natural response. Our culture attaches various definitions and levels of meaning to the word love. These variations can be recognized by listing different ways that the word love is used. People speak of loving pizza, their favorite sports team, their spouse, their children, their car, a specific time of year, or their favorite outfit. Obviously these cannot be the same types of love because the depth and permanence of love differs so widely in each case. Still, the word love is casually used for all of them. Often love takes the form of a euphoric, emotional collection of feelings that are usually evoked by a relationship. Love can be associated with thoughtful gifts, romance, hearts, Valentine s Day, wedding ceremonies, and a host of other images. That is not to say those associations are wrong or inappropriate. However, if those images are the sum total of love, that understanding is deficient. It is deficient because love does not always feel euphoric. It does not always bring effervescent joy. Sometimes love demands thankless sacrifice, requiring one s last ounce of discipline. When have you seen someone decide to show love when it was difficult? 2 Date of My Bible Study:
How do you think the strength of love is affected when it is used in so many different ways? What outward traits would you expect to see in a loving person? Give a practical example from your own life. In this week s session, Paul s teaching to the believers in Corinth depicted the biblical view of what love is. This teaching stems from Paul s discussion of spiritual gifts in chapter 12, which the Corinthians were using for their own glory and self-aggrandizement. The overwhelming truth Paul presented, through repeatedly clarifying the picture of love, was that love in the biblical sense is selfless and sacrificial. Because love is not always easy and emotive, it requires an intentional decision to act loving toward others. 1. Love Validates Our Service (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) After using chapter 12 to correctively teach about the intent and use of spiritual gifts, Paul turned his focus toward the element that gave the expression of those spiritual gifts meaning. In these opening verses, Paul fulfilled the promise that closed chapter 12 to show the Corinthians a still more excellent way of expressing the spiritual gifts that God had blessed them with. Contextually, because 1 Corinthians 12 is consumed with the topic of spiritual gifts and their practice and 1 Corinthians 14 resumes the topic of spiritual giftedness, the modern reader must be careful to read chapter 13 not as some random or arbitrary teaching on love, but related to the topic of properly expressing giftedness. The point of the digression in Paul s logic, then, was to explicitly state what the foundation for any type of service in the Christian life. That foundation was love, which was as difficult to apply as it was easy to say. Paul s exhortation that love be the motivation for expressing gifts was in stark contrast to the motivation of the Corinthians in exercising their gifts. The Corinthians expressions of Session 6 3
giftedness were a series of abuses of their gifts designed to bring glory to themselves. Their use of gifts, then, was a self-absorbed disruption of corporate worship. Applying Paul s description of biblical love to the use of gifts would have completely reoriented life within the Christian fellowship at Corinth. This was a right and necessary reorientation. What impact have you noticed selfishness having on the organizations that you re a part of? What about the church? How does that differ from love s impact? What about the gifts Paul mentioned made them particularly important examples for the centrality of love? Paul s encouragement to use the gifts that he mentioned (tongues, prophecy, wisdom, knowledge, faith, generosity, even martyrdom) was specifically tied to the observable nature of their expressions. In other words, none of these were unseen gifts, such as service, help, or mercy. These gifts were offered visibly, typically in the context of corporate worship. They had tremendous capacity to enhance worship because they were spiritual gifts. However, they were corrupted by the intent of those manifesting the gifts. Paul taught those exercising the gifts in such a way missed their true purpose. 2. Love s Nature (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a) Having introduced the crucial nature of love in the first three verses, it was important for Paul to continue with a description of what the nature of love looked like. Paul s depiction of love, however, would clash mightily with the manner in which the Corinthians were practicing (or the lack thereof) their Christian faith. The first two descriptors are complementary in force of action. Love being patient meant 4 Personal Study Guide
forbearance, which is passive in nature. The offset, to show kindness, was much more active in nature. Because these two words inherently involved other people, Paul s clear indication was that these were to be lived out in community with the fellowship of Christ. Paul moved to a list of eight things that love was not. Not surprisingly, given the overall tone of Paul s interaction with the Corinthians, this list of not items was a mirror of how the Corinthians were abusing their spiritual giftedness in an unloving way. First, love s absence of envy had at its core the comparison of oneself with others in a covetous way. It is not difficult to imagine what those elements would do in the Christian fellowship. The next two items were closely related together. Being boastful or arrogant both involved unashamedly heaping praise on oneself. Paul had repeatedly corrected the Corinthians regarding this sinful behavior previously in the letter; now he was pointing out that such behavior was the opposite of loving others. The descriptor that would be mentioned in short order, is not self-seeking, carried very much the same idea. Such repetition in such a short space clearly demonstrated the magnitude of the problem in Corinth. The term Paul used for is not rude was an extremely rare word. The only other use of the term occurred earlier in the letter (1 Corinthians 7:36) when describing appalling sexual perversion. The strength of Paul s use of rude greatly exceeded the modern use of the word. The behavior addressed a lack of decency or the ability to be ashamed, even in the face of unspeakable, high-handed sin. The next two descriptors moved to the sphere of endurance of wrongs suffered. At this point, Paul continued to paint a picture of love that required fortitude and the willingness to endure pain. The idea of not being irritable or keeping a record of wrongs both had to do with responding to being sinned against. Not being irritable is more than just not flying off the handle; it is the resistance of anger. This inherently means that there must first have been a reason for anger to occur. The refusal to keep an account of wrongs suffered takes not being angry a step further because it communicates a note of reoccurrence of such wrongs. Verse 6 served as a hinge between the things that love was not and its positive aspects. Paul described love as not rejoicing in unrighteousness using the same term he used when confronting the Corinthians about taking one another to civil court. Whatever Paul had in mind specifically, it was of the category of defrauding one another with falsehood. Love, instead, found joy in the truth. Session 6 5
The Corinthians were confronted with the characteristics of their regular behavior that were the opposite of loving others. How would you feel if someone presented such a list to you? Do you think you would be moved to repentance, or would you respond with indignation? Which of the specific characteristics of love that Paul described resonate with you most deeply? Why do you think that is so, given your life experiences? Paul returned to the positive affirmations of love with a list of the virtues of love. The list included two of the cardinal virtues of Christianity: hope and faith ( believes is the verbal form of faith). Paul sought to communicate the preferred future toward which love looked. The other two words referred to present activities of love: enduring and bearing. These two were so closely linked that they served to emphasize one another. 3. Love s Supremacy (1 Corinthians 13:8b-13) When Paul stated that love endures all things, the clear intent was that love never ends. Beginning verse 8 with those specific words once again demonstrated Paul s manner of emphasizing truth previously addressed. However, in describing love as never ending, Paul also transitioned to an eschatological view of the prized spiritual gifts the Corinthians. Paul pointed out that when Christ returned, the gifts that pointed to His returning would cease because they were no longer needed. There would be no need to prophesy once the people of God stood in His presence. This is what Paul meant when he said, when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end. The two examples Paul gave in verses 11-12 represent the degree of understanding that would occur when believers 6 Personal Study Guide
from the current age saw the glories of heaven for themselves. The example of the mirrors would have held particular significance for the Corinthians due to the bronze mirrors that were manufactured there. The writer of Hebrews used the concept of shadows when describing the same reality in Hebrews 10. However, for all that will change when believers pass from the temporal to the eternal, Paul noted that love will remain. It will not pass away like so many other things because God is love. The One who would draw the Corinthians into eternity with Himself was, is, and will be love. All of the descriptors Paul used to describe the nature of love find their greatest fulfillment in God. How should Paul s contrast of the temporal and the future have changed the Corinthians view of what was important with regard to spiritual gifts? Based on what you know of 1 Corinthians, which of those two realities were the Corinthians most focused on when Paul wrote the letter? Considering Paul s example of a child growing into a man and putting away childish things, how has your understanding of who God is and how that shapes your own character changed over the years? With regard to demonstrating love to others, how would you say you are different in the last year? Conclusion Paul s teaching on love is vitally important to a robust relationship with Christ and other Christ followers. At the very least, it dispels the false ideas of a shallow, feel-good-all-the-time, spiritual-high sort of love. The New Testament church and the servants detailed in the Bible knew nothing of such sugary platitudes. Instead, love is a discipline that the believer chooses to give himself or herself to Session 6 7
as an act of worship. Consequently, the love of Christ is, in turn, displayed to those with whom the believer interacts. In light of this, there are some critically important things to apply from this text. First, loving others is difficult and can be painful. In reading the correspondence of Paul to the various churches he visited, it is impossible not to pick up on the strained relationships, strife, and hardship in those congregations. Paul addressed various problems in each of his letters to the churches. Each letter detailed some aspect of sinfulness or lack of love within the congregation. Loving other people is a risky, messy proposition that Christ demonstrated personally and perfectly, and also called His followers to do. Being faithful to the call to love others will, without question, involve hardship and disappointment. Second, loving others means loving like Christ loves us. It does not mean loving based on feelings. There will be days, possibly a lot of them, when we do not feel like loving those around us. This includes our family, our spouse, our friends, those in our church, and so on. Here is the hard truth, though: whether we feel like it or not is irrelevant. Christ loved us when we were enemies of God and died for us. That means loving others, for Christ followers, is a choice to be made and a discipline to practice. Third, if we are going to love others like Christ loves us even if we don t feel like it we are going to need the benefit of biblical community to help us when we are weak. There is a reason why the writer of Hebrews wrote that believers are not to forsake meeting together, but to spur each on toward love and good deeds. The reason is because, at many points, we will need to be spurred on to love others. If you ve ever seen anyone spur a horse, you know that being spurred on to do something is not necessarily comfortable. If we are not a part of biblical community in which people have the right to lovingly correct us, we will fail. Fourth, Paul s descriptors of love are great points of evaluation for how we love others in our lives. While it is not necessarily a good idea to do this with all parts of the Bible, it is beneficial to take inventory from time to time and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us if we are being patient and kind, not boasting or being self-serving, but bearing all things and enduring all things in our relationships. We will never be perfect on this side of eternity, but we can use this important passage as a check-up for how we are growing in Christ and where we prayerfully need to ask the Holy Spirit to empower us to grow. 8 Personal Study Guide
Who in your life has the right to spur you on to love others? How hard is it to come up with someone who does this for you? What does that tell you your next step should be? How do you overcome your feelings when your feelings fight your faithfulness to love others? What methods have you found that are most effective? Who have you encouraged to do the same, since we all struggle? What would our community look like if your group decided to love someone or a group of people that society has deemed unlovable? How would you get started? CHRIST CONNECTION: Jesus demonstrated His great love by laying down His life for us. Christ was faithful, even though excruciating circumstances. Similarly, Christ followers are called to faithful love in the midst of difficulty. MISSIONAL APPLICATION: Demonstrating love toward the world around us will undoubtedly mean that we endure betrayal, hardship, and pain. We should expect no less than our Savior endured. Demonstrating the love of Christ toward those who do not yet know Him is an opportunity for evangelism. Session 6 9
FOR NEXT WEEK Session Title --Love as an Imitation of Christ Main Passages --Ephesians 5:1-2 Session Outline 1. Forgive Like Christ (Ephesians 5:1a) 2. Coheirs With Christ (Ephesians 5:1b) 3. Love Sacrificially Like Christ (Ephesians 5:2) Memorize 4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, CSB 10 Personal Study Guide