Guidelines of Good Practice for offering the Ministry of Spiritual Direction

Guidelines of Good Practice for offering the Ministry of Spiritual Direction

The Spirituality Group The Rt Rev Richard Blackburn Revd David Emmott Revd Christine Warrilow Revd Sue Calveley Rev Ruth Stock Mrs Alison Wotherspoon Rev Stephen Gough Co-ordinator of the Spiritual Director Training Course Revd Stephen Gough Holder of the Diocesan List of Spiritual Directors Revd Stephen Gough Those Offering Supervision Revd David Emmott: 0151 281 5493 davidemmott@mac.com Revd Stephen Gough:*01744 882 200 gough_stephen@btopenworld.com Revd Christine Warrilow:* 01695 625844 christine@beaconview.plus.com Revd Sue Calveley:* 01704 541593 revd.sue@gmail.com Mr Roddy Smith:* 01704 833856 saxoncross@btinternet.com *will offer supervision in an emergency

Foreword I am delighted to commend these Guidelines. I hope they will be seen as a helpful resource both for those seeking spiritual direction as well as for those offering it. Our hope is that they will be seen as setting the scene by setting out the basis of what should be sought and provided. It is important that there are appropriate expectations so that an appropriate relationship can be developed between spiritual director and directee. My prayer is that this will enable those seeking spiritual guidance to find a director who will enable them to feel that they have a safe space in which to reflect upon how God is at work in their lives so it will deepen their relationship with God. The Rt Rev Richard Blackburn Bishop of Warrington.

Introduction Spiritual direction is described as being a way of helping people to pay attention to and to share with another member of the community experiences of God, and, in the process, to learn how to discern what is authentically of God from what is not. In this way they also learn how to talk about their experiences of God with other members of the community. 1 Spiritual direction then, is seen as having a communal dimension which enables the individual to look within to the movement of God, to bring this through reflection, and maybe with cognitive reasoning, into conversation with another, and then into forming and informing their way of life. This way of life is both personal and corporate. Reflecting upon the presence of God means that the time of the director with the directee becomes a holy time, as a sacred space is created between each, and each with God. The director offers a total and unconditional listening, putting their own self away for that time to focus upon the directee. The spiritual director offers to the directee, the gift of disinterested, loving attention. 2 It is a vital support for all people, lay and licensed alike. To enable the spiritual director in their ministry group supervision is provided for all on the diocesan list and it is a condition of their remaining on the list that they participate in this or arrange their own supervision. Supervision is a resource for the spiritual director in their practice and ministry and contributes to the well being of both the director and the directee. [See the section on Supervision for more details] 1 William A. Barry SJ, Spiritual Direction and the Encounter with God [Revised Edition][2004] Paulist Press 2 Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction[2000:3] DLT

NB It has been decided for ease of writing, and as terms commonly used and understood, to use the words direction, director, and directee throughout these Guidelines. It is acknowledged though, that these terms hold certain negative connotations contrary to the perceived view of being alongside a pilgrim on their journey with God; and it may be that accompanier, companion, or soul friend is preferred. Mission Statement Spiritual direction is believed and understood as a ministry that is both a calling and a gift from God. The Christian ministry of spiritual direction is one of accompanying and encouraging others on their spiritual journey. The director aims to be a non judgemental listener who helps and enables the directee to discern and respond to God s presence in their lives. It is an unobtrusive ministry which does not seek to stand in the way of the true director who is the Holy Spirit. The Spiritual Director Training Course Many Dioceses offer a Course of training for those who feel called to the ministry of spiritual direction. This includes the learning of the necessary skills of listening as well as providing grounding in the theory which lies behind the spirituality and psychology of spiritual direction. Liverpool Diocese, adapting material from Sheffield diocese, has a Course to offer. Acceptance onto the course is not self-selective but comes through a process of completing an application form, submitting references and by interview. The Course, although based upon Ignatian spirituality, offers a wide breadth of experience which reaches across the spiritual traditions including Franciscan, Benedictine, Orthodox, Evangelical and writers such as Teresa of Avila, John Donne and Thomas Merton. Each day begins with prayer, which provides not only an experience of different ways of praying, but also valuable resource material which can be used in a variety of contexts personal and parish. The Spiritual Director Training Course has a very particular function and role to play in the life of the diocese,

namely to equip and enable those called to be spiritual directors and to ensure that those offering this ministry within the diocese are proficient to do so. The Course nurtures a developing self awareness, practical skills and provides a wealth of resources which can be used in a variety of situations. As a result it is of interest for those involved in other ministries of listening, coming alongside others, chaplaincy and prayer. The Course is an Introduction to spiritual direction. It is expected that the learning continues through personal study, reading, attending the Network Days, and through the practice of being a director and participating in supervision. For those seeking a Spiritual Director It is important that the right/best director is found for the directee. To enable this, the list holder will meet with each enquirer, to discuss their needs/desires/prayer and spiritual hopes and so refer them to a suitable spiritual director. The person seeking a spiritual director is free to return to the list holder should the first referral not seem appropriate. Once the listening relationship begins the director would inform the list holder. The list holder will act across the diocesan borders as an initial contact for any seeking a spiritual director from another diocese, and to pass on initial contact details for those from this diocese who would prefer to go to another diocese for spiritual direction. A spiritual director may also see anyone who self refers directly to them. Agreement As a part of the good practice guidelines, all those beginning a new spiritual direction relationship, will be asked to sign a simple agreement between themselves and their director which explains

what the expectations are within the relationship. Both the director and directee will sign the agreement and each will have a copy. This will be destroyed at the end of the relationship. The agreement can be found at the end of this booklet. Supervision Supervision is described as: the processing of the inner experiences of spiritual directors that are evoked during direction sessions in order to help them grow in awareness of their reactions and responses, to allow them to respond in a God-centred and interiorly free manner, and to maintain a contemplative focus. 3 As mentioned in the Introduction, supervision is a resource made available to all spiritual directors in the diocese and it is a condition of remaining on the diocesan list that spiritual directors participate in it. Those listed as offering supervision have received training in this particular area, and will themselves receive supervision as a group. Supervision is to help the director in the ministry being offered. The details of conversations with the directee are not revealed, but only what is relevant to that which is going on within the director themselves during their sessions; thereby keeping the conversation and identity of the directee in confidence. Supervision will be offered in small groups, and all spiritual directors will be contacted to invite them to a group which will meet twice a year. If anyone would like individual supervision, or it is necessory between group meetings, then this can be arranged. 3 Page 13, Looking into the Well: Supervision of Spiritual Directors, Maureen Conroy RSM [1995] Loyola University Press

Guidelines of Good Practice The Guidelines set out very simply the practice that is necessary for the effective ministry of spiritual direction with the well-being of the both the director and the directee in mind. They will provide a foundation upon which this ministry can then flourish. Responsibility and Accountability The Spiritual Director agrees; That there is an ongoing discernment to continuing this ministry. That they seek to deepen their own self awareness. That time is given to reflect and discern about each directee ie whether it is right to continue or draw to a close that relationship. That they are committed to a regular prayer life, the reading and studying of the bible, the receiving of Holy Communion, the nurturing of their own inner spiritual life and to being part of the wider church community. That they need to be aware of personal limitations which may prevent attentive and effective unbiased listening which may include: o o o o o When to say no and to see only the number that can be managed the effects of a busy work load the effects of personal ill health and personal circumstance of life the possible need to refer someone to another spiritual director or for professional care, e.g. counselling. being aware that some directees may hop from one director to another. If this is felt to happen, the list holder may be able to follow this through, and make other potential directors of the directee aware of this.

o Acknowledging any personal prejudices which may affect listening with integrity and wholeness They will inform the list holder when they cannot see people for any reason, and when they are able to see more people. They will receive regular spiritual direction to further their own personal spiritual journey They will make active use of supervision They will seek appropriate help and support in addition to that of supervision when necessary. To the importance of understanding the value of a rule of life to ensure a balance of life is kept, including time for family, friends, relaxation. Confidentiality All spiritual direction conversations are held in confidence. However, if a harmful situation is revealed the spiritual director reserves the right it to conclude that session, and, if necessary inform the appropriate body. It will be for the spiritual director to decide whether to continue meeting with that directee. They will also reveal details if required to do so by a court order. Different limits of confidentiality will be appropriate for the ministry of formal confession. The directee needs to be aware that supervision takes place, but that nothing of the conversation held is revealed, nor the directees identity. Supervision is to enable a deeper awareness of God in the director and to enable a more effective listening relationship with the directee.

Detailed and factual notes are not necessary or appropriate, and may contravene data protection regulations; it could be seen as reducing confidentiality and being a possible security risk. Any notes made should be as a memory jogger for further meetings, for e.g. a way of prayer that was suggested. These notes need to be held securely and destroyed at the end of that relationship, and provision made for their destruction should the spiritual director die. Relationship It is important to create a safe and sacred space in which to meet. There needs to be the awareness of personal boundaries to ensure both physical and psychological space. The first meeting is an exploratory one in which to discern if the relationship will work, and both have the freedom to say no to a further meeting. This discernment is ongoing. If the relationship is to continue, it needs to be determined how often this will happen, and that both will commit to this meeting. Although spiritual direction is a walking alongside, to be a companion in equality, there needs to be an awareness of the power imbalance within the relationship and the vulnerability of those who come for spiritual direction to ensure there is no spiritual / emotional abuse. Boundaries and Protection All offering spiritual direction will require to be checked according to the Home Office Guidelines as those coming for spiritual direction are classed as vulnerable. It is for the spiritual director to ensure the integrity of the relationship is kept, particularly if the directee/director should meet elsewhere.

There needs to be the space for personal reflection, so that the spiritual director can develop a deeper understanding of self awareness and so ensure that the relationship with the directee remains healthy, and not damaging to either director or directee. To ensure the previous point the director must be receiving spiritual direction themselves and supervision. Commitment and Ongoing Training Relevant reading and study which enables a deeper understanding for this ministry Making the commitment to attend the Network meetings, which are to provide ongoing training and the opportunity to share with others. There will be no charge for attendance on the Networks days for anyone on the Diocesan List of Spiritual Directors. To offer any suggestions of training needs they feel are relevant to members of the Spirituality Network Group named at the front of this booklet What support will be given by the Diocese to those offering this ministry? The Diocese views the ministry of spiritual direction as valid and necessary, and is committed to the ongoing training courses and support of all who offer the ministry of spiritual direction. The ministry is overseen by the Spirituality Network Group under the authority of the Bishop and will ensure: That the list holder will accept without question if a director says they can see no more people at that time That the two Network days will continue each year.

That any suggestions for training needs will be listened to, and taken to the Spirituality Group Meeting. That, when possible, other training sessions will be offered, which may incorporate any suggestions put forward, and be for a wider diocesan audience. That the list holder will be made known. This means that contact details will be listed in the Diocesan Directory, in the Lifelong Learning department, and on the Diocesan website. That supervision is offered to all spiritual directors on the diocesan list That the Diocesan list of spiritual directors is updated on a regular basis, and review how this list is managed. That the Guidelines are reviewed and updated on a regular basis, making amendments when necessary. Network Days For all those on the Diocesan List of Spiritual Directors, there will be no charge for attendance on the Network Days. They will become a part of the ongoing training and support being offered to all Spiritual Directors. There is the expectation of participation in these days. It is intended to have a wide and varied programme that will be both of interest and relevant to the ministry being offered and will take place at least twice a year. Conclusion Spiritual direction is a vital element within the overall life and ministry of the Diocese and of the Church. It is important that this ministry is made more widely accessible and known to all.

Liverpool Diocese Spiritual Direction Agreement Date:... Agreement between: Director:... Directee:... Our Relationship You are meeting with me, as your spiritual director, because you want to explore the spiritual life of prayer and the call of God in your life. Spiritual direction offers the space to reflect and consider how God is a part of the whole of your life, and so respond by a deepening of your relationship with God. I do not offer any solutions or answers but will listen and enable the way of discernment through the conversation that takes place. I may suggest ways of praying, or a book to read for example, but it is your decision and choice to accept this or not. You agree to prepare by giving time for reflection prior to our meeting. Confidentiality All our conversations are held in confidence. However, I reserve the right to reveal the contents of our conversation should a situation of harm or potential harm be revealed or when required to do so by an order of the court. For my benefit and yours, I will receive supervision, which means I still keep in confidence our conversation and your identity and reveal only what I feel in my own self.

Meeting Together We will agree together the frequency our meetings, and that each meeting will last for no more than an hour, and we both commit to begin and end on time. If you cannot come to an arranged meeting you agree to let me know as soon as you can, preferably the day before at the latest. I agree to do the same. If there is a need to meet before an arranged time, please contact me and I will do my best to see you. Signed: Director:... Directee:... Supporting the ministry of spiritual direction Although there are costs involved in the provision of Spiritual Direction, books, travel, retreats and quiet days for example, the diocese of Liverpool does not make a charge on those receiving this important ministry. However, donations towards these costs are gratefully received. Our budget is held by the LDBF and any gifts given from individuals and parishes are effectively ring fenced and can be rolled over year on year. Donations for the purpose of providing Spiritual Direction should be made to the LDBF. Please note that such donations can be given under Gift Aid, when being given by individuals rather than parishes, which adds an extra 25% to the money received by the Spiritual Directors fund. Personal gifts to spiritual directors Spiritual Directors, lay and ordained, who are not in receipt of a diocesan stipend, are permitted to receive personal gifts of gratitude from individuals for whom they have provided the ministry of spiritual direction. If such a gift is greater than 20 in value, then it must be declared to the LDBF Finance Team. It is important to understand that any such gifts are gifts of gratitude. If the gift is seen to be in recompense for the ministry provided it should also be noted that the gift would then be considered as income by HMRC and thus the appropriate income tax and national insurance payments would also need to be made.