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PAUL TRIPP MINISTRIES, INC. What To Think (Part 1) January 16 th 2007 Paul Tripp: You aren t ever alone in your grief. There is somebody who's with you, who is with you every moment of it, and who will never leave you by yourself. Kate Crowley: Welcome to Right Here, Right Now and today s program from Paul Tripp Ministries. Join us as Paul connects the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Female Voice: I'll never forget those grief-stricken eyes. They were sad, hollow, distant. She watched helplessly as her husband's life withered away. He was a good man, I mean, in his early 40s, the father of two children. He was committed to all the right things. It didn't seem right that this man should die, I mean, not at this age. Her husband's dying pushed her to the borders of her faith. What good, what love, what meaning could she find in the death of this young husband and father of hers? I mean, how could God let this happen? She put her head on my shoulder, and she looked to me for answers, but I didn t know what to say. I mean, I was with her that fateful day. I stayed up with her all night. I sat with her as much as I possibly could, but I felt so helpless. Nothing I said seemed helpful or appropriate. I mean, I felt like my foot was always in my mouth, and when I did work up the courage to actually say something, my words seemed so empty. Her eyes were like deep, dark tunnels of death, and though she was breathing, there didn t seem to be any life in her either. It was like she had died too. I know I am going to face this again, and I d like to be more ready. I want to be more helpful. I really do. Music: Everything Will Be by Relient K It smells so sweet outside today The sun smiles down, I m in the shade I sit and think about all my friends and how good they are But when today is yesterday I know that things won t stay the same But I know that the memories won t go too far Round and round the world will turn

Lessons taught and lessons learned Jesus gets us through the good and bad times And lets me know that everything will be just fine Everything will be just fine Everything is gonna be fine Everything will be just fine Kate Crowley: Welcome to Right Here, Right Now with Paul Tripp, talking about what to say when others face what seems to be life s biggest struggle. That's from today's message, What to Think, in the series, When Grief Enters Your Door. Now for a refreshing look at how important your words really are, Paul has authored a helpful book simply titled, War Of Words. This is one read that'll help you open your eyes and heart to the power of words that reflect God's grace. It s available at Paul's website, paultrippministries.org. While you re there, be sure to check out the other resources designed to help you live your life in the grace that God provides. Again, that s paultrippministries.org. Right now, here's Paul Tripp with more, Right Here, Right Now. PDT: I was at a viewing not too long ago; it was a very sad experience. It was a twentyfour-year-old boy who had died. We knew his parents very well, and we stood in line to walk by that casket. It seemed impossible that this robust young man would be dead. His parents were experiencing remarkable grief and sadness. His father was as if he was inconsolable. I ll never forget the weirdness and unnaturalness, the tension in that room. You know you ve got to be there, but you dread being there. You know you have to say something, but you don't know what to say. You mumble words that sort of come haltingly tumblingly out of your mouth, and you re not sure that you're saying the right thing, and you're not sure how you're saying will be greeted. And you know you mean well, but it s just a weird and tense moment. What do you say when a mom and dad are looking at the lifeless body of a twenty-fouryear-old son? Death is weird. Death is unnatural. It is a horrible interruption of life as it was meant to be. How do you think you're going to do when death enters your door? When you think about death right now, well what do you think? Are you a person who is able to look death in the face and yet have hope? Are you able to grieve in a way that does not move that grief toward paralytic despair?

When you are near someone who is dying or someone who is grieving the death of another, are you able to do and say things that are helpful? How much do you really understand about what the Bible has to say about death and dying? How informed have you been by the theology of grief that is progressively laid out in the drama of Scripture? Do you tend to resist the things that death tells you about you? Have you bought into the delusions of your independence and your invincibility so that there's simply no room for thinking about death? Or, maybe you ve fallen into thinking that if you eat and exercise and live right, you can keep death out of your door. Are you ready to face the Bible and its honesty about death? Now remember, the Bible that we re talking about is not a book that's arranged by topic. It's not encyclopedic in the way that it's laid out; so we can t go to a section of the Bible about grief and collect what we need so that we can face life's darkest moments. Yet, at the same time, God's great story of redemption has much to say about you and your grief. And so I want to help you to see how your story of grief fits right inside the Bible's larger story of God's plan to fix everything that sin has so cruelly broken. The great themes of God's story speak with power to what you face in the death of a loved one or in the specter of your own death. The Bible would say that there's only one Person who can pick you up in your darkness and carry you into the light. I want to help you know that Person and what He offers you in your times of grief. Music: Worried Life Blues by Eric Clapton, B.B. King Oh lordy lord, oh lordy lord It hurts me so bad for us to part But someday baby I ain t gonna worry my life any more So many nights since you ve been gone I ve had to worry and grieve my life alone But someday baby I ain t gonna worry my life any more So many days since you went away I ve had to worry both night and day But someday baby I ain t gonna worry my life any more PDT: You know it really is hard to know what to think when you're facing death. When you re facing the death of a friend or a family member, or when you're standing with someone who is dealing with the grief of loss, it's hard to know what to do; it's hard to know what to say.

So I want to start our consideration of this powerful experience with some Biblical perspectives that can provide tracks to guide your thinking in those moments when it's hard for your thinking not to run wild. Here they are. First perspective: You cannot really prepare for death. Death is so deeply emotional; death is so stunningly final that there really is nothing that you can do to help yourself sail through your moment of loss. And this shock of death is all over the pages of Scripture. You know, the Bible presents to us people, characters who were just like us, facing the kinds of things we face. Whenever I think of this, I think of the story of David who was King of Israel and his son, Absalom. That story is recorded in 2 Samuel 18. The word made it to David that Absalom, his son, had sort of captured the hearts of the people of Israel and that Absalom was intending to take David's throne. Now, this is a monarchy and the only way the throne passes is through a death. That means that Absalom was actually plotting the death of his own father so he could take the throne. And David escapes with a band of loyal followers, is hiding in a cave, wondering what the next day will bring. And there's a soldier who comes and reports that Absalom was in a war accident and was dead. And I'll never ever forget the scream of grief of David. David says, Oh my son, Absalom, my son, Absalom, if only I had died instead of you. Oh, Absalom, my son! My son! You can feel David crumbling in grief. This is his boy. He can t celebrate this like it s the death of an enemy. This is his boy and he s dead! And in that cry, David voices the cry of everyone who's ever grieved. Don't be embarrassed or feel guilty with your grief; there is no way to prepare for what death will take you through. Second, death was not part of God's original plan. The reason death seems so wrong, the reason it seems so unnatural, the reason it seems so completely out of place is because it is. It was never part of God's original plan. Look at it from the perspective of origins; there simply was no death. Death was not supposed to be. Look at it from the perspective of eternity; there is simply no death there. The story ends in life and life that lasts forever. You see, God's original plan was that life would give way to life, would give way to life, would give way to life, on into eternity. So death is an unwanted intruder in between origin and destiny. In God's original design, life was to live forever. And so it's not okay that people die. It's right to treat this as something horrible and sad; death is sad; death is unnatural. It's right to mourn. And when you recognize this, then

not only do you allow yourself to mourn, but you begin the hunger for the complete restoration of what was designed to be in the beginning. And you long to live in a place where death has once and for all been defeated. It's very important to recognize that death was never meant to be part of the original plan. Third principle: Not only can you not prepare for death; not only was death not part of the original plan. But there s a third thing; you are never alone in the darkness. You know, probably no experience that you can go through makes you feel more alone than the experience of grief. It is that experience of grieving the loss of a person is so utterly personal and so seemingly unique that it makes you feel all alone. And it is true that no one really has gone through the exact thing that you are going through with the loss of this exact person at this exact moment. You can be surrounded by people, even people who know you and love you, and yet you feel like you're all by yourself. But think about this; the sadness of grief is a universal, human experience. I'm surrounded when I grieve by a crowd of fellow mourners because everybody somehow, someway, faces the sadness of death, the struggle of grief. Yet there is an even more powerful way that you are not alone. If you are one of God's children, your Savior has taken the name Immanuel. This name actually means, God with us. When you come to Christ, now, I know this is hard to grasp, you would literally become the place where God lives. And so in the darkness of grief, you have a powerful Brother and a powerful Friend who not only stands beside you, but resides within you. Psalm 88 reminds us that this God understands the deepest moments of our darkness. Psalm 46 reminds us that this God is an ever-present help in our times of trouble. No, you can't really prepare for death; and no, death was not part of the original plan; but in all of that, you need to remember this one awesome thing--you aren t ever alone in your grief. There is somebody who's with you, who is with you in every moment of it, and who will never leave you by yourself. These are three Biblical facts that can guide you as you go through the powerful pain of loss. Music: Glory by Casting Crowns You are holy in this place You are worthy of my praise And we worship You Jesus we worship You

You re the king of kings and the Lord of Lords You re the master of the universe You re the ruler of all nations And we sing to You, sing to You, we sing to You You are holy in this place You are worthy of my praise And we worship You Jesus we worship You You re the king of kings and the Lord of Lords You re the master of the universe You re the ruler of all nations And we sing to You When You call my name, I ll run to You I ll do anything You ask me to Falling on my knees, I ll worship You My Lord, we give You glory, we give You glory We give You glory, Yeah PDT: Three Biblical facts that can guide you as you go through the powerful pain of loss. First, there is no way to really prepare for death. You don't have to be embarrassed or feel guilty at the shocking pain and grief that you feel. Second, death was not part of the original plan. Life was to give way to life, give way to life. That's why death seems so incredibly unnatural--it is! And then the third fact, you're never alone in your experience of grief. There is one who stands with you who not only knows about death, who has experienced death, and He is with you in your moment of grief. You see, sooner or later, you're going to have to face it; sooner or later, it will no longer be an abstract concept to you. Sooner or later, grief will enter your door. Sooner or later, the grief that you experience will not be someone else's; sooner or later, it will be yours. Death really is the unavoidable enemy of life between origin and destiny. It's too powerful and too final to ever really to be able to fully be prepared for it. It will ravage your emotions, and it makes chaos of your thinking; but you don't have to feel guilty, and you don't need to be embarrassed because you are going through things that everybody who faces death goes through. And why do they go through this? Because death is simply a horrible and unnatural interruption of life as it was originally designed. Death was never supposed to happen. Life was to be the theme of life. So the discordant tones of death simply don't harmonize well with life. Death will always

create a struggle, but it can be an intelligent struggle, an intelligent struggle of grief mixed with wonderful hope. You see, in those moments when you feel so alone that you feel like you cannot breathe, in those moments when your world has shrunk to the size of this moment in pain, you must remind yourself that you, in fact, are not alone. There is someone who is not only near you; He actually comes to live inside of you. I know that seems so mystical. I know it doesn't seem rational, but that's exactly what happens. This fact, this mystical fact, is as real as the seat you're sitting on. If you are one of God's children, Jesus really does live inside of you. This means it's actually impossible for you to be all by yourself in any experience of life. The Lord of life stands by you in death. The Lord of hope is your companion in despair. The Lord of peace supports you when no peace can be found. The God of comfort is with you in discomfort. The source of joy is close by when death has robbed you of your joy. You are never ever alone. (Music Interlude) PDT: Isn t it nice to know that you and I don't have to live fearful, avoidant lives? Isn t it nice to know that you don t have to play the denial game in your head? Isn t it comforting to know that we can look the hardest and harshest of realities smack dab in the face and be completely unafraid? Why unafraid? Not because we have the personal strength to go through it all, not because we have the wisdom to understand it all, not because we have the character to endure the toughest of moments. No, we can face the hardships of life unafraid because we're simply never left to ourselves. You see, Jesus came not just so that you could have life in eternity, but so that you could have life in the here and now. The hope He gives you is not just a hope that lives in the future; it is a hope that lives right here, right now. Are you a person that lives with hope? Do you carry that hope with you like a prized possession, or have you heard about hope, but you don't know how to live in hope? You really do live an anxious, fearful, avoidant life. Does hope alter everything you say and do, or does fear structure everything you say and do? Do you have hope that can carry you through the darkness, or are you afraid of the darkness and afraid of when it will come? You see, you can live with hope, and you can live with courage, and you can face harsh realities because of what Jesus Christ has done. That hope can be yours, right here, right now. KC: Learning to confront one of our greatest fears - a hopeful reminder from Paul Tripp

on Right Here, Right Now. There's more coming from Paul s series, When Grief Enters Your Door. Be sure and tell a friend where they can hear these words of grace on the radio or online at paultrippministries.org. Now for an honest look at how our words can impact others, you need to pick up a copy of the book, War of Words. In this writing, Paul Tripp examines the importance of mastering and practicing Godly speech. That s War of Words. Just log on to paultrippministries.org. That s all one word, Paul Tripp spelled T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org. If you'd like to hear this message again, you can go online and listen, or download each program on your ipod. And be sure you check out what Paul has to say from his most recent blog. Again that s all at paultrippministries.org. CD copies of today's broadcast are also available for just five dollars. You can order from the website or call us at 1-800-551-6595. Be sure and ask about other resources on the family, ministry, and many other issues. That's toll-free: 800-551-6595. And if you want to help us spread words of grace to others through the ministry of Right Here, Right Now, you can donate by credit card by clicking on Ministry Support at paultrippministries.org, or write to us at 7214 Frankford Avenue, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19135. Producing a daily radio outreach can be costly, and we do appreciate so much your financial support. Next month, you can make plans to join Paul at Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries in Lafayette, Indiana, on February 13-15. You can call them at 765-448-1986 for details. Tomorrow, more on Dealing With Grief. Tell a friend and join us then. I m Kate Crowley, and on behalf of Paul Tripp Ministries, I want to remind you that, in Jesus Christ, there really is help right here, right now. Be sure and listen in tomorrow. 2007 Paul Tripp Ministries www.paultripp.com