The Fine Print: Joseph Reconciliation Jeff Jones, Senior Pastor Genesis 42-44 Selected Verses Use love stinks in intro? Built intro around that. Or: Welcome to Chase Oaks as we continue our series about the Christian life, called The Fine Print, on this OT character, Joseph. Joseph has been through a lot, and today is a big test. Today Joseph is going to be reunited to his older brothers. How many of you have older brothers? I do too. And I love him, always have. But in those growing up years, older brothers can be pretty mean. That s in the job description I think. I m the youngest, so I don t know, but I m pretty sure they do this little training session when a kid gets a younger sibling on how to build character into the little guy through suffering. They must. If you remember the story, Joseph s older brothers became very jealous of him because the way his dad played favorites. Joseph didn t do himself any favors on that either, and finally they got fed up. They were going to kill him, but Reuben interceded and instead they sold him into slavery and faked his death to their father. So, to get rid of their brother, they force the father to go through incredible grief, and for 22 years Joseph lives his life without his family until the story today. 22 years before, it was 10 against 1. Joseph actually had 10 older brothers and one younger, who was only 1 at the time Joseph was sold by his brothers. Then, they had all the power. But today the table is going to turn. In today s story, Joseph is the one with all the power, as they unknowingly 1
come to Joseph for help in a desperate time. They don t even know it is him, and Joseph has some big choices to make. In the story, we learn a lot about how to deal with people who have hurt us and we ve all had people who have hurt us, whether a husband or wife, a parent, a sibling, a co-worker or neighbor, a son or daughter, a friend, an ex. Today we see an amazing response and learn a lot not only about forgiveness, but even beyond that, about the power of reconciliation. Do we just forgive? Do we just keep letting them hurt us? Do we act like it was no big deal? Let s take those questions into our story today. Turn with me to Genesis 42, and as you do, we have some major catching up to do in Joseph s story. The brothers unknowingly come to him for help, because he becomes a big shot in the kingdom of Egypt, and here s how that happens. Joseph becomes a slave in a wealthy Egyptian s home, and there is wrongly accused of rape. He is sent to prison unfairly. In prison, he meets two of Pharaoh s officials, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker. One day he sees that both of them are especially down and dejected, so he asks them, Why are your faces so sad today? They both share that they ve had these troubling dreams and don t know what they mean. Joseph asks to hear the dreams and offers, with God s help, to give the interpretation. The chief cupbearer tells Joseph his dream, and Joseph gives the interpretation: In 3 days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your old position. Then the chief baker tells his dream and Joseph interprets it: In 3 days, Pharaoh will lift up your head, right from your body, and hang your corpse on a pole. The baker, said, Gee, thanks! I feel better. Three days later, those things come to pass, and as the cupbearer is being released he promises Joseph that he will not forget him and use his influence to get Joseph out of prison. But he forgets, and for two years 2
Joseph stays in prison until one day when the Pharoah is extremely troubled The Pharaoh has a troubling dream, and none of his advisors can help him interpret it. The cupbearer then remembers Joseph and lets the Pharoah know about him. Joseph is brought in to his presence and interprets the dream: There will be 7 years of abundance and incredible harvests really good but after that will come 7 years of famine very bad. Joseph adds that though this sounds like a bad ending, if they are wise they will store up in the good years to be ready for the bad. Pharaoh is so impressed with Joseph, that he asks him to be the one to lead that effort. Not only that, he confers on him incredible power in the kingdom of Egypt. He puts his royal robe and ring on Joseph, parades him around the city riding the Pharaoh s chariot, and makes Joseph the #2 guy in the whole kingdom. Joseph becomes one of the most powerful people in the world. Joseph immediately gets to work, and for those 7 years stores up so much grain that they stop recording the amounts. And then, sure enough, after the seven years comes a devastating famine, not only in Egypt but all over North Africa and the Middle East. People in other countries learn that Egypt has grain, and many come to them for help. So, now let s shift the scene to Jacob s house, where Jacob (Joseph s dad) and his 11 brothers are. In that home, they are desperate. They have stuff, silver and gold, but no food. They are going to starve to death. Jacob hears about the surplus in Egypt and tells his ten kids to get off their rear and go buy some food, but he makes an interesting decision: Slide: ) Genesis 42:3 3
Then ten of Joseph's brothers went down to buy grain from Egypt. But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph's brother, with the others, because he was afraid that harm might come to him. Benjamin and Joseph had the same mom, Rachel, Jacob s favorite wife. Benjamin was the new baby, 16 years younger than Joseph, and Jacob was not going to risk his life in this venture to get food. The name Benjamin brings back some memories for me, because Benjamin was my first pet, a guinea pig. I loved that little guy. He lived in a glass enclosure, and one day some workers at our house knocked it over, and Benjamin died. Scarred me, getting a little teary right now so I understand Jacob s feelings here. He wants to protect Benjamin. I only wish I had. They travel to Egypt, where they get an audience with the one in charge of the grain, and really the kingdom. I m sure they were extremely nervous to interact with this powerful man, but they have no idea that the man is Joseph. Let s pick it up in v. 6: Slide: ) Genesis 42: 6-7 Now Joseph was the governor of the land, the one who sold grain to all its people. So when Joseph's brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. As soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them It s interesting what he chooses to do. He doesn t let them know who he is. Instead, he plays with them a little. He begins this charade, and takes it pretty far, as we see in v. 9, 4
Slide: ) Genesis 42: 9 Then he remembered his dreams about them and said to them, "You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected." This is getting strange, what is Joseph up to? They protest, say that they are not spies but all brothers of each other, just honest men. The truth is, they were neither honest men or spies, but they continue, v. 13, Slide: ) Genesis 42:13 "Your servants were twelve brothers, the sons of one man, who lives in the land of Canaan. The youngest is now with our father, and one is no more." That last line had to sting a little. Joseph keeps going: Slide: ) Genesis 42:14 Joseph said to them, "It is just as I told you: You are spies! Joseph then proposes a way to test their honesty. It s a little more complex than this, but the simple version is for them to go home and bring back the younger brother. If they can show the younger brother, then he knows that they are telling the truth. He tells them to leave one brother in custody in Egypt as a deposit. If they bring back their brother, he ll make sure that they have all the grain they need. As the brothers contemplate this, they talk to one another in Hebrew. They assume that this Egyptian official can t understand them. They don t know this is Joseph, and that he can understand. This is a little like the Seinfeld episode about Elaine and the nail salon. But he can understand everything: 5
Slide: ) Genesis 42:21-23 They said to one another, "Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that's why this distress has come upon us." Reuben replied, "Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn't listen!... They did not realize that Joseph could understand them, since he was using an interpreter. Then hear what happens next: Slide: ) Genesis 42:24a He turned away from them and began to weep, but then turned back and spoke to them again. All this is a little much for Joseph, as he hears them talk about that day. Lots of pain there, but he also sees that reality is hitting them. They are changing a little. There is some remorse there. He then sends them away to get Benjamin, giving them some grain to take back, and Simeon is left behind. But a huge question I have at this point is this: Why is Joseph doing all this? And why, after he goes away to weep, doesn t he just drop the charade right there? Why not say, Guys, this is me! Your brother! But he doesn t. Why doesn t he just forgive and move on? At this point in Joseph s life, he is very mature spiritually, loves God so why not just end the charade here? The answer to that is extremely significant, not just for the story but for us as well. Joseph wants to do more than just forgive. He wants to move past forgiveness to something far greater. He has probably already forgiven them, but he his hoping for something more than forgiveness. He is hoping 6
for reconciliation, and there is a big difference between the two. He is hoping for a restored relationship, and that s more complicated than mere forgiveness. So, he continues the charade, the test. The brothers go back to Jacob, and he is now very upset. He s just lost another son, Simeon, in Egypt. At first, he refuses to send them back with Benjamin, because he doesn t want to risk that, but when the grain runs out, he is forced to do so. He begrudgingly sends all of his sons, including Benjamin, back to Egypt. When they arrive, Joseph arranges a banquet for them. When he sees Benjamin, his younger brother, whom he hasn t seen since Benjamin was a one year old, he has to excuse himself to go weep again in private. By the way, Joseph is the biggest crybaby in the Bible. He cries more than anybody else. He might be the kind of guy that would cry at a movie like. That s unfair. He s probably up in heaven right now saying, God, are you going to let him get away with that?! So, to his credit, lots of pain here. All of the brothers are seated by age, which had to freak them out a little bit, because how could this Egyptian have known that? But Joseph was up to something, as we see in Slide: ) Genesis 43:34 When portions were served to them from Joseph's table, Benjamin's portion was five times as much as anyone else's. So they feasted and drank freely with him. Now, keep in mind. They were starving, desperate for food. They hadn t seen a feast like this probably ever. And Benjamin gets five times more, and Joseph watches to see their response as one more time a younger 7
brother is treated as a favorite. But this is not the real test. That comes next. He sends all the brothers back home with all the grain their donkeys could carry more than enough for their needs. They had brought silver as payment, but he doesn t accept payment. So, he tells his servants to load the silver in with the grain bags. He also tells them to take his special, ceremonial silver goblet, and place that in one of the bags that travel with Benjamin. He is planting evidence here. They all pull out, but after a short time they are called back. Joseph sends out his servants, who confront the brothers: How could you have repaid Joseph s kindness with stealing? His special goblet is missing, and you took it! They protest, and say, Look through our things. If you find it, then surely you can throw us in prison and throw away the key, but we don t have it! And here s the test. They do find the goblet of course in Benjamin s sack. When they all come back and are confronted by Joseph, he says, Slide: ) Genesis 44:17 Only the man who was found to have the cup will become my slave. The rest of you, go back to your father in peace." That s a great test, because once again they have this little brother who is dad s favorite, and they can get rid of him right here and now. They don t even have to sin or lie about it. For all they know, Benjamin did steal the goblet. Serves him right. But this time, they make a different choice. Judah speaks for the group and says, Our father is very old, and this is his youngest son. It would kill him for this to happen. Please take me instead, and let my little brother go. I ll serve in his place. Now, the test is over. Joseph sees their heart, and he decides right then to end the charade and reveal his identity to them. He sends everyone else 8
out of the room except him and his brothers, and reveals himself. 45:2 says that he began to weep again, so loud that they could hear him all through the palace. Not saying anything about that just reporting the facts. His brothers can t believe it though, and they are now scared to death because they know what they did. So, in 45:4, we read: Slide: ) Genesis 45:4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. After some conversation, he focuses on Benjamin, that he hadn t seen since a baby: v 14-15: Slide: ) Genesis 45:14-15 Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him. That last sentence is significant. His brothers talked with him. Remember the beginning of the story? His brothers were so jealous that they couldn t say a kind word to him. For the first time in their lives, these brothers all have a real conversation together. For the first time, there is unity and love in this home. The brothers then go home to get their dad and other family members so that they can ride out the famine in Egypt. Jacob is told about how Joseph 9
is alive, and he can hardly believe it. He comes, and this family is once again a family. Relationship is restored. It s a powerful story of not just forgiveness but reconciliation, and there is a huge distinction between the two. Forgiveness is a choice to refuse to get even with another person, to in my own spirit, let that offense go, and no longer hold it against you. Forgiveness only requires one person. I am to forgive you if you hurt me, regardless if you care about that or not. Forgiveness is to be given freely, not earned. Forgiveness is powerful, but it only goes so far in a relationship. The relationship may well not be restored. I have forgiven you, but our relationship is still broken. Reconciliation is that next step. Reconciliation does restore a relationship, but it is very different than forgiveness. Reconciliation takes two people, both parties, to work out. Reconciliation is not free. It has to be earned, because reconciliation is based on trust, and trust doesn t come cheap. That s why Joseph goes to these incredible lengths. He is giving them the opportunity to rebuild trust, with every hope that the relationship can be restored. And in his case, it does. But reconciliation never comes easy. In Joseph s case, it was about a two-year process. Rebuilding trust requires a few important ingredients, and if you ve been hurt and wondered how trust might be rebuilt, it s worth it to name those. The first ingredient to rebuild trust is Slide: )TRUTH For trust to be rebuilt, truth has to be on the table, all of it. Nothing hidden. For years, these brothers lived a lie, and Joseph makes them confront and own the truth. 10
The second ingredient is Slide: )REPENTANCE a genuine ownership of the evil I ve done and a decision to turn from that way to learn a whole new way of life. We see that with Joseph s brothers. Through the process, they begin to own what they have done, how that affected Joseph, and they make a choice to live differently with Benjamin. Joseph was wanting to see repentance, and he saw it. And the last ingredient is Slide: ) TIME This process takes time, as we see in the Joseph story. Joseph let the process take the time it needed. He didn t rush it. That s why this story takes so many chapters in the Bible. If you have a broken relationship, trust has to be rebuilt, which takes truth, repentance, and time. Some of you have been hurt deeply by somebody, a friend, family member, or co-worker. They have hurt you, and the relationship is broken. What is your responsibility? The Bible is very clear that your first responsibility to forgive. And you can do that 100% on your own. That s the biggest step. That releases you from the ongoing hurt caused by the initial hurt, as you give up resentment, bitterness, hostility, superiority. But you also have a responsibility in most cases at least to make reconciliation possible. The Bible says, For as much as it is within your own power, be at peace with all men. That s reconciliation. We can only do half of the job, that which is within our own power, but we do need to 11
that half, to do all we can to make reconciliation possible. Sometimes that is unwise, in cases of abuse for example, but in most situations, our responsibility is to do our part to heal a broken relationship. That doesn t necessarily mean we ll be best buddies from them on, but it does mean that we restore peace and a sense of relationship, moving away from the pain of withdrawal, hurt feelings, suspicion and superiority. We can only do our part, but we should do our part. I m about to leave for study break, going back to Alabama for a part of that, and I made the mistake of asking God if there is anyone I need to do my part with, any broken relationship. I already knew the answer, and that s who he brought to mind a person who happens to live in Alabama, and we ve had a broken relationship for 20+ years. Broken, I think because he was a goober, but at one point, we were really great friends. I think this doesn t affect me, but it does. It s like a sea anchor in my life. A sea anchor is something we use in sailing to slow down your boat, such as in a big storm. It s basically a parachute type thing that drags behind the boat. In a race, you don t want to accidentally throw out a sea anchor. In normal conditions, it makes sailing very hard and in a race, everyone else will easily pass you. Broken relationships are like sea anchors in our life, and I know that this one is in mine. I am not responsible to fix it, but I am responsible to do my part to forgive, and then give the person the opportunity to rebuilt trust and relationship. I can forgive someone I don t trust, but I can t be reconciled to someone I don t trust. What would be wrong of me though is to not give that person the chance. That s not fair. That s holding something over somebody, and aren t we glad God doesn t do that to us! 12
Is God bringing someone to mind for you? If so, then do your part. My prayer is that reconciliation might happen, because that makes for a beautiful story like the one we just heard. I ll close with one more story, from Scott Peck (if time): A South African woman stood in an emotionally-charged courtroom, listening to white police officers acknowledge the atrocities they had perpetrated in the name of apartheid. Officer van de Broek acknowledged his responsibility in the death of her son. Along with others, he had shot her 18-year-old son at point-blank range. He and the others partied while they burned his body, turning it over and over on the fire until it was reduced to ashes. Eight years later, van de Broek and others arrived to seize her husband. A few [hours] later, shortly after midnight, van de Broek came to fetch the wo He took her to a woodpile where her husband lay bound. She was forced to wa as they poured gasoline over his body and ignited the flames that consumed his The last words she heard her husband say were "Forgive them." Now, van de Broek stood before her awaiting judgment. South Africa's Truth a Reconciliation Commission asked her what she wanted. "I want three things," she said calmly. "I want Mr. van de Broek to take me to t place where they burned my husband's body. I would like to gather up the dust give him a decent burial. "Second, Mr. van de Broek took all my family away from me, and I still have a love to give. Twice a month, I would like for him to come to the ghetto and spe with me so I can be a mother to him. 13
"Third, I would like Mr. van de Broek to know that he is forgiven by God, and I forgive him, too. I would like someone to lead me to where he is seated, so I c embrace him and he can know my forgiveness is real." As the elderly woman was led across the courtroom, van de Broek fainted, ove Someone began singing "Amazing Grace." Gradually everyone joined in. This woman understood that to be reconciled with God and to be reconciled wi and enemies is to be free indeed. Reconciliation is a powerful thing. If not story, close with prayer and have opportunity for people to be reconciled to God. 14