Sermon Delivered May 6, SPIRIT FILLED RELATIONSHIPS: PART 1 (Ephesians 5:18-21)

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Sermon Delivered May 6, 2018 SPIRIT FILLED RELATIONSHIPS: PART 1 (Ephesians 5:18-21) OPENING A. ILLUSTRATION 1. A middle-aged business executive approached the front entrance of the office building where he worked. A young woman came up at the same moment, so he stepped back and held the door open for her to walk through. She looked at him and said with annoyance, Don t hold the door open for me just because I m a lady. To her surprise, he replied. I m not. I m holding it open because I m a gentleman. 2. I m not saying that should have been his appropriate response but his action illustrates a point. We must always act on the basis of what we are in Christ regardless of what others are or are not around us. Because Christ living in us changes our thoughts and our behaviors. It s the fruit of the Holy Spirit s presence in our lives. B. BACKGROUND 1. So last week we explained that 5:15-21 is the summary and climax of chapters 4-6. The word therefore ( then in ESV) connects the previous passage to the following. It also introduces the next section of the book which continues through 6:9 2. The Main idea is picked up from 4:1 walk worthy of your calling Walk means to live (how you conduct your life) o So it means how you conduct your life in light of who Jesus is and what He has done for you in essence live like you believe. We studied three principles about how a believer lives different from those without Jesus. That thought is further expanded in the following sentence. o In Gk. v. 18-21 is one sentence and culminates in the following section 5:22-6:9. C. SERMON IDEA 1. We are learning about our new identity in Christ. Being a follower of Jesus changes everything. Look at verses 19; and 21 see the phrase one another 2. Sin separates us from God and from one another. But once you and I are in Jesus, we have new relationships. Our relationships change because our identity has changed so we have a new relationship with Jesus and a new relationship with others. 3. Paul is going to talk about how our new identity changes our relationship with our spouse (5:22-33); our children (6:1-4), the people we work with (6:5-9), and the world (6:10-24). But first, God s word describes our relationships in the church. o To begin, Paul explains why our relationships changed I. BEING FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT CHANGES OUR RELATIONSHIPS (v. 18) A. ILLUSTRATION 1. Mrs. Smith once declared to her pastor, I ve finally cured my husband of biting his nails. He responded, After all these years? Tell me how. I hide his teeth!

2. Bad habits are annoying. There are many described by religious and social culture. Some serious, some dangerous, some sinful. I wouldn t say nail biting is sinful but the first line of text contains one that is both dangerous and sinful. B. EXPLANATION 1. God commands, Do not get drunk. This isn t the only place it s commanded but one of them. Both the Old and New Testament strongly condemn drunkenness and warn against the dangers of drinking. Paul just stated that we are to be wise and make the most of every opportunity. Drunkenness makes life a serious of missed opportunities. Drunkenness depicts the characteristics of the old life. o The Scriptures do not specifically condemn alcohol, we know that Jesus turned water into wine and Paul once told young pastor Timothy to use it to settle his sick stomach. There are other passages that talk about its use as well. o Like many things in Scripture, it has the potential for good or evil. We tend to use it for evil. o Which is why countless Scriptures tell us that getting drunk is a sin. Alcohol is a depressant which takes away ones judgment and takes away ones control. Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones a brilliant physician who became the pastor for near 40 years at the Westminister Chapel in London wrote: o Alcohol is not a stimulus, it is a depressant. It depresses first and foremost the highest centers of all in the brain. They are the very first to be influenced and affected by drink. They control everything that gives a person self-control, wisdom, understanding, discrimination, judgement, balance, the power to assess everything; in other words everything that makes a person behave at his very best and hightest. The better a person s control, the better person he/she is But alcohol is something which immediately gets rid of control; that indeed is the first thing it does. 2. The reason God condemns drunkenness is that once someone intoxicates themselves, they lose control of their conduct and commit other sins. To be faithful to the text, Paul s point here isn t to give a treatise on drinking the intent of his context is to contrast drunkenness that with what he wants to spend time talking about. 3. He says, to be filled with the Spirit This is the main verb of the passage and the one everyrthing else describes into chapter 6. o Drunkenness leads one to lose self-control which leads us to damage relationships. o Being filled with the Spirit allows one to be self-controlled in order to enhance our relationships. The verb tense carries the idea of constantly it s a state of being. o With is better translated by o It s a passive imperative tense meaning we are to allow the Spirit to constantly fill us.! The context language of Eph. for filling is the fullness of God.! It means believers are to be conformed to the image of Christ by Holy Spirit! God s character is to be displayed through us.! We are to surrender to His work. o It s not process of Him coming into us or sealing us that s already been done (Chap 1).! This word implies a conscious surrender to the Holy Spirit s control as a regular activity.! Involves confession of sin, surrender of will! It means to die to self and give everything to Him 4. Wine is often used to describe joy and peace because it suppresses your emotions. But it leads to

weakness and the inability to deal with reality. Whatever joy and peace you could find in alcohol, the Holy Spirit gives so much more. o He s a stimulant He provides deep satisfaction and contentment, he provides wisdom to deal with anything not temporary escapes. And He provides strength! C. APPLICATION 1. We are sealed by the Spirit forever we are saved and Heaven awaits but we need constant filling. Why? Because we don t live in a constant state of joy and peace. In other words, we are always in need to surrender to the Spirits work in our life. We need to constantly ask the Lord to give us a fresh awareness of His work and presence. II. BEING FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT RESULTS IN (vv. 19-21) A. EXPLANATION 1. Some see the following three verses as commands things we should do. 2. Actually they are three sets of participles that modify the previous verb. They can t stand alone, but rather describe what the verb be filled looks like. They are the overflow of Him working in us they are the product of being filled. 3. Spirit filled believers are singing God s people sing because He is too great to just be talked about. o He s not saying we give up normal speech How are you brother John La la la! o Rather he is saying its an over flow of the heart. o If we are connected to Jesus we don t just think and talk about Him we rejoice in Him. When the church comes together there is an overflow of inner music. o During the darkest days of church history 500-1500 AD the church didn t sing. It became a horrible dark time of Christianity. But the reformation brought freedom. Martin Luther brought hymn singing to the church. During the Great Awakening Charles Wesley wrote 6000 hymns. Think of the music that came with D.L. Moody and Sankey. Or the outpouring of Christina music in the Jesus movement of the 1960s and 70 s. Every period of major revival has resulted in the outpouring of songs of worship. The last few couple of decades have witnessed a decline in singing in the church folks seem to just sit and observe. o But consider that we are at one of the lowest times of spiritual connection to God in American church history. We are living as practical atheists and have sold out to most of the world s temptations. o Particularly that life is all about you and others serving your wants to make you happy. That s not spirit filled, that s self fulfilled. o The first sign of a Spirit filled Christian is an expression of song to the Lord. o Notice it doesn t say your singing has to be good. The melody is in the heart but the singing expresses the joy regardless of the sound.! Whether he is good at it or not, the spirit filled Christian is a singing Christian-- when the heart goes AWOL so does the singing. Three different modes of singing are described interchangeably o Psalms that would have been songs from the Old Testament! They focused on various kinds of styles some were solos, others congregational songs describing the greatness of God. o Hymns several of those are found in the New Testament.! They were distinguished in the NT from the psalms. They were congregational songs of

praise to Jesus. o Spiritual songs were spontaneous songs of testimony.! They flowed differently than the others, not as structured and probably more repetitive. o In other words, there were solos, congregational singing, Old classics, some modern hymns, and some newly created different stuff. o John Piper has said, The reason for the different types of songs may be that Gods is infinitely varied in His beauty and He meets us in various ways. The direction of the singing is both to God and one another o Not two different responses of singing but both are together in the same action. o In other words, we sing praise to God and edify, instruct and encourage one another in song.! You can sing to Jesus in the shower or the garden but Spirit filled believers will sing corporately. You may not be able to carry a tune but your message does.! We encourage each other by singing, we instruct one another with our singing.! Worship is take home theology, the second most active form of theological teaching. o A believer has a corporate responsibility to sing together in church.! Why not curl up on the couch with a bowl of cereal and watch a worship service on TV? Because you cannot do what this verse is telling us.! Is your heart filled with song? Why not? What else is it filled with? 4. Spirit filled believers are giving thanks Idea is regularly not continuously o Often used out of context to demand thankfulness for everything including evil but that s not what it means o In accordance with His name and His will (note that last phrase)! Not for all the things He abhors but for His sovereignty in all things.! We know that even in bad things, He is still God and will help us. o A grumbling, complaining, negative sour heart is not Spirit filled.! When we mourn what we do not have (someone s car, job, house, wife or husband, kids, recognition etc), we reveal a life missing the fullness of God.! We have so much from God! o This by the way is also a corporate context together Gods people give thanks with and for one another! Are you known as a thankful person or a complaining, pouting, grumbling person?! Spirit filled people are thankful people. 5. Spirit filled believers are submitting A person who is brash, self-asserting, and arrogant is revealing they are not Spirit filled. The verb means to arrange under -- has to do with order. o It s a military term; it means to submit under those in authority over you. o Soldiers turn loose of their selfish desires and agendas for the good of others.! A follower of Jesus is like Jesus, he or she doesn t demand their own way or pout and get mad if it s not done like they want it done.! The motive is listed fear of the Lord. Not terror but reverence for His judgment and power.! We recognize that He is Lord over all. B. EXPLANATION 1. A king sensed something was special about his slave Omar. So he set him free and made Omar his personal attendant and gave him fine clothes. However, one of the king s other attendants became

jealous. He spied on Omar and found that every day Omar took a large sack into the treasure chamber and left with the same sack. The advisor told the king that Omar was stealing. The next day, the king hid himself outside the chamber to see for himself. As usual, Omar went in, opened the sack and put on his slave robe. He said to his reflection, Omar, once you were a slave. Never forget how blessed you are. The king approached Omar and said, I knew there was something special about you. Although I may be the king, you have a kings heart. C. APPLICATION 1. How might your heart be described? Is it filled with the likeness of God by the Spirit? 2. Is it one that is full of song, full of thankfulness and full of selfless service? 3. How would you describe this affect on your relationship to the church? III. CONCLUSION A. CLOSE 1. Because we are in God s family, our relationships must reflect it. If your Christianity is making you more of a recluse, its not Christianity it s selfishness. The Christian life will lead you to more meaningful deeper relationships with the church. If you are drifting away from others, that s not true Christianity, that s the influence of the world that Satan controls. 2. There s no way around it unless you are handicapped, the more you grow in your faith, the more you will be attracted to corporate worship. The more submitted you are to the Spirit, the more you will worship with His family. You will realize you have a responsibility to corporate worship. Remember Hebrews 10? We are commanded in verse 25 to worship together because when we don t our Christian walk deteriorates into the world. We lose our confidence in the Lord our faith becomes weak, and we get disconnected from Jesus. B. ILLUSTRATION 1. I was listening to a message by Matt Chandler not too long ago that reminded me of the crisis of our falling church memberships and attendance. We ve seen and heard of the number of our own children who leave the church when they get to college. But Chandler said, Our children are not getting secularized when they get to college, they are getting secularized at home before they are sent to college by well meaning parents who can t tease out the value difference between sports and the gathering of the people of God. Chandler says he hears parents say, It s just so hard to get my kid out of bed on Sunday morning, I just want him to have the freedom to figure this stuff out. What?!?!. Why do we do this with what Jesus describes as one of the most important things in life? Would we do that in any other area of their life? School, I just can t. I m not feeling it today. The teacher is mean and I don t get to play and I don t understand it anyway? We don t let them decide whether or not they feel like going to school. My children didn t get to decide whether we go to church? I didn t let them decide what they were going to eat? Or when they went to bed or whether or not they could drive or play with a firearm. Because I m dad. Why would I let them decided the direction of the whole family when it comes to eternity? What parents do in moderation, their children do to extreme. Half hearted obedience in this generation leads to full rebellion in the next. We have got to help our children see the proper value of things. What is the difference between a gift and something that is superior in value. Football or soccer or wrestling or TV and their phones are gifts but they make terrible gods. We are teaching them that their value is in those things. Or maybe we have tied our value to them if they achieve it makes us look good somehow. If we are teaching them that way, we are not teaching them the value God gives them and us in His

Son Jesus Christ. We are not living our an identity that says, I m a child of the King! 2. Why is all this being filled stuff important, because remember it means being Spirit controlled. It is the reflection of a saved life the fruit of God s saving grace. There are times when we are not filled. But if we are saved, we won t remain that way. The overall pattern of our life will lead us to a growing submission to the Holy Spirit to reflect the character of Jesus.