Marriage: An Enduring Covenant Part 1: Brenda Cathcart How to scripturally build a marriage that will not only last, but that will nurture both husband and wife to grow in the LORD. Man: iysh: God: Fire: Woman: ishah With God in the midst of a marriage, the fire it kindles will not consume. But if God is removed, the fire will totally consume the man and the woman. Every marriage contains a remnant of God s Spirit! Malachi 2:14 16 14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 16 "For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." A husband or wife is the person who can cause the most damage. Even God threatened to divorce Israel for Her unfaithfulness. Jeremiah 3:8 8 "Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also. God allows divorce because of the hardness of man s heart. Matthew 19:8 8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
MARRIAGE COVENANT AND FIRE LORD 1. Covenant 2. Fidelity 3. Integrity 4. Respect 5. Experience/Energetic Husband toward the LORD 1. Covenant 2 Fidelity 3 Integrity 4 Respect/Reverence 5 Experience/Energetic Wife toward the LORD 1. Covenant 2. Fidelity 3. Integrity 4. Respect 5. Experience/Energetic Husband toward Wife 1. Covenant 2. Fidelity 3. Integrity 4. Respect 5. Experience/Energetic Wife toward husband 1. Covenant 2. Fidelity 3. Integrity 4. Respect 5. Experience/Energetic Covenants are not made, they are cut. Make: #03772 karath meaning to cut Deuteronomy is essentially a summary of the covenant agreement between God and the children of Israel including a provision for forgiveness Deuteronomy 30:1 3 1 "Now it shall come to pass, when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among all the nations where the LORD your God drives you, 2 "and you return to the LORD your God and obey His voice, according to all that I command you today, you and your children, with all your heart and with all your soul, 3 "that the LORD your God will bring you back from captivity, and have compassion on you, and gather you again from all the nations where the LORD your God has scattered you. Yeshua says that loving and loving are the two greatest commandments. 2
Fidelity: Fidelity is faithfulness to a person, cause or belief. It is the strict observances of promises. Exodus 20:1 5a 1 And God spoke all these words, saying: 2 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3 "You shall have no other gods before Me. 4 "You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; 5 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. 1 Corinthians 4:1 2 1 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. God is saying, This is who I am,! Integrity: Integrity means being honest, doing the right thing, being whole or undivided. It is the quality of being whole or complete, in an unbroken state. Exodus 20:5 6 5 For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, 6 but showing mercy (chesed) to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. Mercy: chesed #2617 frequently translated as loving kindness. The implication is that of loyalty and devotion. Hosea 6:4 6 4 "O Ephraim, what shall I do to you? O Judah, what shall I do to you? For your faithfulness is like a morning cloud, And like the early dew it goes away. 5 Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets, I have slain them by the words of My mouth; And your judgments are like light that goes forth. 6 For I desire mercy (chesed) and not sacrifice, And the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings. Matthew 5:48 48 "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. Perfect: telios: #5046 which might be better translated as complete. 1 John 4:17 19 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us. We show integrity by being. 3
Reverence/Respect: Reverence or respect is a feeling of admiration for something or someone. It is a way of treating or thinking about someone or something. Exodus 20:7 10a 7 "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. 8 "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. Leviticus 22:31 33 31 "Therefore you shall keep My commandments, and perform them: I am the LORD. 32 "You shall not profane My holy name, but I will be hallowed among the children of Israel. I am the LORD who sanctifies you, 33 "who brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the LORD." Ezekiel 36:20 20 "When they came to the nations, wherever they went, they profaned My holy name when they said of them, 'These are the people of the LORD, and yet they have gone out of His land.' The writer of Hebrews commands believers in Yeshua to serve God with reverence and godly fear. Hebrews 12:28 29 28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. 29 For our God is a consuming fire. When we follow God s instruction in how to live, we God s name! Experience/Energy: Keeping the covenant with God is not a passive event. It requires action. That action is frequently expressed by the word love. God s motivation in making the covenant with Israel was love. Deuteronomy 4:37 37 "And because He loved your fathers, therefore He chose their descendants after them; and He brought you out of Egypt with His Presence, with His mighty power, Deuteronomy 7:7 9 7 "The LORD did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples; 8 "but because the LORD loves you, and because He would keep the oath which He swore to your fathers, the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of bondage, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 9 "Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments; 4
Deuteronomy 10:12 12 "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, John 12:25 26 25 "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 "If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor. We show our love for God by! 5
COVENANT Mal 2:14-15 14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. Wife FIDELITY (FIRE) fidelity defn. n. pl. fidelities... 2) firm adherence to a person or party with which one is united, or to which one is bound; loyalty;... Webster s New universal Unabridged Dictionary p. 681 Shows the Father s fidelity Ps 31:23-24 23 Oh, love the LORD, all you His saints! For the LORD preserves the faithful, And fully repays the proud person. 24 Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the LORD. NKJ 2 Tim 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. Ps 101:6-8; 1 Cor 10:13; 2 Thess 3:3-4 Our fidelity to the Lord Eph 5:1-2 1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. 1 Cor 4:1-2 1 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. Fidelity to our husband Prov 31:12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. INTEGRITY (FIRE) integrity defn. n... 3) the quality or state of being of sound moral principle; uprightness, honesty, and sincerity. p. 953 Marriage Covenant 2 nd half p. 1
God s Integrity Deut 32:3-4 3 For I proclaim the name of the LORD: Ascribe greatness to our God. 4 He is the Rock, His work is perfect; For all His ways are justice, A God of truth and without injustice; Righteous and upright is He. Ps 11:7 For the LORD is righteous, He loves righteousness; His countenance beholds the upright. Prov 2:7-9; 2 Sam 22:31; Ps 18:30 Us to the Lord Matt 5:48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. Ps 26:11-12 11 But as for me, I will walk in my integrity; Redeem me and be merciful to me. 12 My foot stands in an even place; In the congregations I will bless the LORD. Our integrity Husband/Wife Prov 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. 1 Cor 7:1-5 1 It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Prov 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. James 1:4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 1 John 4:17-19 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us. 1 Tim 3:11 Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things Marriage Covenant 2 nd half p. 1
REVERENCE (FIRE) reverence defn. n... 1) a feeling or attitude of deep respect, love, awe, and esteem, as for something sacred; veneration.... syn. honor, veneration, awe, adoration v.t.... 1) to regard or treat with reverence; to revere; to venerate.... p. 1551 Us to the Lord Lev 19:30 'You shall keep My Sabbaths and reverence My sanctuary: I am the LORD. Heb 12:28-29 28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. 29 For our God is a consuming fire. RESPECT (FIRE) respect defn v.t. 1) to notice with special attention; to regard; to heed;... 2) to have reference or regard to; to concern; to relate to; as, the treaty particularly respects our commerce. 3) to view, treat, or consider with some degree of reverence, deference, or courtesy; to feel or show honor or esteem for. 4) to show consideration for; to avoid intruding upon or molesting; as, respect his privacy.... syn. regard, esteem, honor, revere, venerate. p. 1542 respect defn n 1) the act of respecting or noticing with attention; the looking toward; attention.... 4) consideration; courteous regard; as, one must have respect for the feelings of others.... p. 1542 Us to the Lord Ps 40:4 Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust, And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Husband/Wife Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. KJV 1 Thess 5:11-13 11 Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. 12 And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; 13 And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves. KJV Prov 31:11 & 23 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.... 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Marriage Covenant 2 nd half p. 2
EXPERIENCE/ENERGETIC (PASSIONATE) experience n...2) an actual living through an event or events; personal undergoing or observing something or things in general as they occur. 3) anything observed or lived through; as our trip was a pleasant experience.... p. 645 experience v.t. 1) to have experience of; to undergo; to feel; to meet with; as, we all experience pain, sorrow, and pleasure.... syn. try, feel, undergo, encounter, endure. p. 645 energetic a. characterized by or exhibiting energy; operating with force, vigor, and effect; forcible; powerful; p. 601 passionate a. 1. easily aroused, excited, or agitated; capable of or susceptible to passion; especially, easily angered. 2. expressing resulting from, or tending to arouse strong emotion; ardent; intense; impassioned.... 4 strong; vehement; said of an emotion. p. 1311 Us to the Lord Ps 9:10 And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You. Ps 91:2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust." Ps 16:7-8; Ps 25:12-15; Matt 23:12; Rom 12:2 Wife/Husband Prov 2:10-11 10 When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul, 11 Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you, Gal 6:7-9 7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins. Prov 12:24; Prov 16:3; Matt 7:7-8; Mark 9:49-50; Luke 6:38 Marriage Covenant 2 nd half p. 3
Husband Eph 5:22-33 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Wisdom (prayer for marriage strength, preservation, and problem solving) James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 3:17-18 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. Marriage Covenant 2 nd half p. 4