Set Apart: Becoming a Virtuous Woman in a Modern World Day 1: Introduction to Proverbs 31 Study Guide The sayings of King Lemuel an inspired utterance his mother taught him. Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers! Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings, Lemuel it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:1-9 Today s Goals: 1. Journal your thoughts and notions of the Proverbs 31 woman. 2. As you approach this study, the goal is not to strive for perfection, but growth. List 3 ways you are already showing the characteristics of being a Proverbs 31 woman. 3. Prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit is what gives us the grace to pursue becoming more like the Proverbs 31 woman. Write a prayer asking the Lord to guide you through this process and to help see the areas where you can improve. Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 1
Day 2: Noble A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10 Today's Goals: 1. List 3 ways that you want to exemplify being noble. 2. Write down 5 Scriptures on index cards about wisdom. Put them in places you frequent daily. Use these to help you seek to fulfill your calling to be a noble example. 3. Out of these Scriptures, choose one to memorize. Day 3: Trustworthy Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31:11NIV Today's Goals: 1. In what ways are you trustworthy? 1. 2. 3. 2. In what ways could you be more trustworthy? 1. 2. 3. 3. Give 3 examples of how you spoke truth today. Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 2
Day 4: Honorable She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 Today's goals: 1. Honoring him in your heart. Think of 10 things about your husband that you love, and dwell on them during the day. 1. 6. 2. 3. 4. 5. 7. 8. 9. 10. 2. Honoring him personally. Pay him a sincere compliment at least 3 times throughout the day. 1. 2. 3. 3. Showing others how he deserves to be honored. Try to tell 3 different people about one of those 10 things. This can be as simple as telling your children something wonderful about their daddy. 1. 2. 3. Day 5: Willing She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. Proverbs 31:13 Today s Goals: 1. Take a look at your heart. Are you serving your family willingly or out of duty? List 2 reasons why you are willing to serve your family and 2 reasons you serve out of duty (or because you feel you have to). How can you become more willing to serve your family? Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 3
2. Take a look at your budget. Does your family have a budget? (If not, plan a time to talk with your husband about starting a family budget in the next 2 weeks.) If you have a budget are you willing to stick to it and make it work? Plan a time in the next week to spend a few minutes reviewing your budget. Date Set to Review Budget: 3. Take a moment to think about your day. Is time management a strength or a weakness for you? Is there an area that God is asking you to be more willing in? _ Day 6:Resourceful She is like the merchant ships; bringing her food from afar. Proverbs 31:14 Today's Goals 1. Think about the quality of food that you eat. Is it nutritious? Satisfying? Is there enough of it? Be honest with yourself and write down what you need to change to better feed your family. _ 2. How about your home environment? Is it inviting? Safe? Comforting? Think of one thing you could do today to improve in this area. _ Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 4
3. Now think through the things that stand in your way. What are your biggest obstacles to providing high quality meals and a welcoming home? Finances? Motivation? Lack of cooking or housekeeping knowledge? Brainstorm a few small goals you can set to get yourself moving in the right direction over the next month. Day 7: Week One Review Take a minute and write down how you show these traits in your life. Noble: Trustworthy: Honorable: Willing: Resourceful: See? You're not doing so bad! Now take a minute and write down how you're going to try to improve on these traits in this coming week. Be practical and specific. Noble: Trustworthy: Honorable: Willing: Resourceful: Day 8: Devoted She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. Proverbs 31:15 Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 5
Today's Goals: 1. Identify 3 ways you can make better use of your time. 2. Choose one thing to implement this week. Be willing to change your schedule. Are you most productive in the morning or the afternoon? _ 3. Who is your community? Think of 3 people you may be able to bless in the coming months and plan a way to do it. Family: Blessing: Family: Blessing: Family: Blessing: Day 9: Good Steward She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:16 Today's Goals 1. Prayerfully identify areas where your stewardship needs improvement. Do you need to limit online time? Spend more time in prayer? Reign in spending a bit? Ask the Lord to reveal the places that need a little attention. 1. 2. 3. 2. Be a good steward of your time. Take a look back at yesterday s goals and the areas you said you could make better use of your time. What are you going to do today to be a good steward in this area? 3. Be a good steward of your resources. Have you looked over or created your budget yet? If not, set a time to do it today! What areas of your budget are the hardest Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 6
for you to be a good steward in? Write a prayer asking God to help you and give you wisdom in this area. Day10: Strong She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. Proverbs 31:17 Today s Goals: 1. Like physical strength, Spiritual Strength takes exercise. What are 3 ways you can exercise your spiritual muscles today? 1. 2. 3. 2. Name three women in your life that ooze Jesus. If you can t think of anyone, pray and ask God to put some strong Christian women in your life. 1. 2. 3. 3. Like physical training, we sometimes need a trainer. Pray about asking one of them to be a mentor in your life. Pray that God would make the choice clear in both your lives. {While older women teaching younger women is Biblical, to many this is still a new concept and a rather frightening term. Do not be discouraged if for some reason they say no. Sometimes people mentor best without knowing they are actually doing so, so maybe trying inviting them for a cup of a coffee instead.} Day 11: Diligent She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. Proverbs 31:18 Today's Goals 1. Make a list of the things you are good at. It could be teaching, training, sewing, baking or finance. These are gifts, things the Lord has given you the ability to do. Accept these things as gifts and be proud that Daddy has given them to you. You re not proud of self, you re proud that your Daddy has chosen you in these areas. Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 7
2. Make a list of the things that you have started but have yet to complete. Write down a target date to get at least three of the things done within the next 10 days. Complete by: Complete by: Complete by: Complete by: Complete by: Complete by: Complete by: Day 12: Skillful In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. Proverbs 31:19 Today's Goals 1. Take some time to pray through and list 3 skill areas that you d like to improve in the next 3 months. Look for skills that will help you improve in the areas of your priorities in this season of your life (for example, I d love to learn Sign Language, however that skill is not practical in this season.) 1. 2. 3. 2. List out 3 different steps you can take to help you improve these 3 skills. Skill 1 1. 2. 3. Skill 2 1. 2. 3. Skill 3 1. 2. 3. Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 8
Day 13: Charitable She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. Proverbs 31:20 Today's Goals 3. Discuss with your husband (or your best friend, someone you re accountable to, etc.) ways you sense the Lord may be leading you to serve others. List those ideas here: _ 4. Write down three options and the next step needed to find out what serving in that capacity looks like. Example: 1. Contact Pastor Jim for schedule for serving meals to the homeless. 1. 2. 3. 5. Take a look back at Day 8 (Devoted). Have you been able to bless some of the people that you listed? _ Day 14: Week Two Review 1. What resonated with you this week? 2. How do you show: Devotion: Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 9
Stewardship: Strength: Diligence: Skill: Charity: 3. Which of these traits is your weakest? Think of one way you can show that trait this week. Be specific. _ Day 15: Prepared When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. Proverbs 31:21 1. Prayerfully identify what current storms you and your household might be facing. These might be internal (tension between you and someone else, a rift between children) or external (financial struggles, issues at a job, discouragement in a church body). 2. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom to weather these storms and prepare for more to come. What does the Word have to say about these situations? Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 10
3. Think of three people that you can help prepare for the storms. This could be your husband, your children, anyone that you can be encouraging and keeping accountable to daily time with the Lord. 1. 2. 3. Day 16: Modest She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Proverbs 31:22 1. Take a peek into your bedroom. Is there clutter and mess? Write down three simple things that you can do today to "cover your bed with tapestry". (Ex: make bed, put away laundry, light a candle etc.) 1. 2. 3. 2. Peek into your closet. Find three to five outfits that portray how you wish to show yourself to the world. Make sure they look nice and fit well. Practice wearing your nice clothes even if you will be home all day. Your hubby wants to see you looking nice and your children will exclaim how "pretty mommy looks!" 3. Peek into your mind and make a list of the attitudes that you want to wear each day, and of the attitudes that need to be thrown away. Day 17: Supportive Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31:23 Today's Goals 1. List 3 Ways you can support your husband this week. 1. 2. 3. Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 11
2. Prayer is one of the best ways you can support your husband. Commit to spending time in prayer for him each day, and ask God to reveal areas you can help support your husband. 3. Lastly, ask your husband how you can help support him. You d be surprised sometimes as the little things that can really help them feel your support. _ Day 18: Industrious She makes linen garments and sells them; and supplies the merchants with sashes. Proverbs 31:24 Today's Goals 1. Think about the ways that you use your creativity to solve problems on a daily basis. Which areas of your life stretch you the most in this (hello parenting!!)? _ 2. Where do problem solving and creating intersect well in your life? Do you enjoy fixing things? Arranging furniture to be more visually appealing? Do you write? Garden or arrange flowers? _ Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 12
_ 3. List three of your interests that have the potential to provide financial or material benefits for your family. 1. 2. 3. 4. What would you need to do to explore turning one of these interests into a profitable endeavor? What kind of training would you need? How would you manage your time? Day 19: Confident She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25 1. Make a list of things that are holding you back from being clothed in strength and dignity. What do other see when they look at you? Why? How can you become more Christ-like? 2. What do you worry about? Write out the things you worry about. Then follow Philippians 4:6. Give those things in prayer and petition (asking), with thanksgiving, to God. I know it s hard to give thanks for some things, but the Bible calls us to give thanks in all circumstances. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) If we want to be able to laugh at the days to come, then we will need the peace of God that transcends all understanding which comes from seeking God in prayer, petition, and thanksgiving. Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 13
3. Memorize the following Scripture to help you when you need to clothe yourself in God s strength: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 Day 20: Wise She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26 Today s Goals 1. Think about your life, would others who know you consider you to be wise? Why or why not? If not, what is one thing you can change right now to work towards gaining wisdom? 2. Who is someone in your life who exemplifies today s verse? Call them up or write them a note and tell them thank you for being an example to you. If there is no one in your life who exemplifies this verse, ask God to help you identify someone. 3. Think of some of the younger women in your life. Is there anyone who is going through a situation that you ve had to navigate before in life? Invite them over for a cup of coffee (or tea) and pray for words of wisdom to speak into their lives. Person: Coffee Date: Day 21: Week Three Review 1. Knowing that we should be inspired instead of intimidated by her, how can you be more: Prepared: Modest: Supportive: Industrious: Confident: Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 14
Wise: 2. What consistencies have you seen throughout the study? Are there any recurring themes that are speaking to you? 3. Which of the traits this week to you feel like you most excel at and why? Day 22: Productive She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27 Today's Goals: 1. What do you struggle with most when it comes to being productive? Is there something specific that is a distraction or is hindering you from being a good manager of your time? _ 2. Look back at Day 8: Devoted and Day 9: Good Steward. Which of these areas are you improving in? Which ones still need some work? Pick 1 thing to work on specifically for the remainder of this study. Make it a habit and it ll stick! Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 15
Day 23: Blessed Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Proverbs 31:28 Today's Goals: 1. We want recognition from our family, but instead of looking to them for affirmation today, let's look to God. Write down 3 reasons that He is pleased with you. 2. Find a woman who is a blessing in your life. Send her a letter or make a phone call. Rise up, and call her blessed. Woman: Action: Date: Day 24: Excellent Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Proverbs 31:29 Today s Goals: 1. Think of a time you have messed up. Everyone messes up, today show someone grace when they mess up. How did this make you feel? _ 2. Look back at the list of skills that you wrote on Day 11: Diligent. God gave you these gifts and talents to bless his kingdom. How are using them? Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:10-11 Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 16
3. What is one way you ve exemplified excellence this week? (It may be something simple like praying with your children). If you can t think of anything ask God to remind you how he sees you. _ Day 25: Fears the Lord Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 Today's Goals 1. Evaluate your words today. Are you speaking truth in love or using meaningless words to gain the praise of others 2. Do you know what fear of the Lord looks like? Do you have a biblical fear of Him or are you afraid of Him because you think he ll beat you down if you do wrong? Day 26: Praiseworthy Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Proverbs 31:31 Today's Goals 1. Often times if we are humble we don t know how to accept praise and honor from others in a godly, natural way. Think about how you can respond to others when they give you praise. How can you graciously accept the praise and honor of others for what the Lord has done in and through you _ Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 17
2. Write a prayer praising God for all the blessing, gifts and talents he s given you. Day 27: Week Four Review How do you embody these traits? Productive: Blessed: Excellent: Fears the Lord: Praiseworthy: How can you specifically work in the coming days to be more like the virtuous woman in these areas? Productive: Blessed: Excellent: Fears the Lord: Praiseworthy: Day 28: Conclusion Over the last 4 weeks we learned about the virtuous woman, and specifically these traits: 1. Noble 2. Trustworthy 3. Honorable 4. Willing 5. Resourceful 6. Devotion 7. Stewardship 8. Strength 9. Diligence 10. Skillfulness 11. Charity 12. Preparedness 13. Modesty 14. Supportive 15. Industrious 16. Confidence 17. Wisdom 18. Productivity 19. Excellence 20. Fear of the Lord 21. Productivity Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 18
Write out some reflections from the last four weeks. Which verses most challenged you? Which encouraged you? Where would you like to improve and where are you strong? Set Apart: Becoming a Woman of Virtue in a Modern World - Study Guide 19