Controlling the Tongue (Part 3) Eph 4:29-30 Replace UNWHOLESOME WORDS with EDIFYING WORDS 1 I. Introduction A. Christian speech the tongue gossip, slander, backbiting, criticism, etc. is the NUMBER ONE issue that I have experienced in the DAILY LIFE of the CHURCH. 1. ALMOST DAILY I see some kind of sin in this area 2. AND sometimes it is myself that is the problem 3. Controlling the tongue is one of the MOST DIFFICULT areas of being Christian 4. MANY don t even realize that because they ve GIVEN UP and don t even try anymore until a big problem occurs! B. ANY DESTRUCTIVE METAPHOR would work for this subject! 1. However, in today s world of events, I d have to pick some combination of 2. IED Improvised Explosive Devices like we see killing soldiers in Iraq they tend to blow up and kill / maim on the spot 3. OR Computer viruses! Spreading quickly they infect and destroy many computers! C. Spend AT LEAST 2 weeks talking about this passage! D. Eph 4:17 Eph 4:17 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, 20 But you did not learn Christ in this way,. 25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. 26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 28 He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. 29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. E. We ve studied v.17-24, but remember that 1. THEY are the GENERAL COMMANDS for this section 2. STOP walking LIKE your UNSAVED SELF Eph 4:17 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, 3. INSTEAD START WALKING in the WAY YOU LEARNED CHRIST (v.20) 4. Paul s POINT in V.17-24? a) SINCE YOU ARE a NEW PERSON made in likeness of God righteousness and holiness of truth b) THEN YOU MUST LIVE ACCORDING to your NEW NATURE WALK LIKE CHRIST!
2 F. Remember A Pattern from V.25-32! 1. First there are FIVE distinct areas of behavior 2. Second, for EACH ONE he follows a pattern a) PUT OFF a sinful behavior b) PUT ON a godly behavior c) REASON you are to do so. USING that PATTERN, G. In Eph 4:25-32 y 5 SPECIFIC WAYS to WALK in HOLINESS SO THAT we can PRESERVE the UNITY of the Body of Christ! 1. Replace LYING with SPEAKING TRUTH (v.25) 2. Replace UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER with RIGHTEOUS ANGER (v.26-27) 3. Replace STEALING with SHARING (v.28) 4. Replace UNWHOLESOME WORDS with EDIFYING WORDS (v.29-30) 5. Replace EVIL ACTIONS with EDIFYING ACTIONS (v.31-32) H. Think about how much Paul talks about speech to the Ephesians!!! Eph 4:15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, Eph 4:25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. Eph 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Eph 5:3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; 4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks (what is supposed to come from that mouth?!). Eph 5:11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; 12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. Eph 5:18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 1. BL: Speech is a VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT of our CHRISTIAN WALK! 2. And we see that! As we study this today, think about ALL the sinful forms of speech that Bible addresses! a) Lying b) Unwholesome words c) Slander d) Silly talk, coarse jesting e) Backbiting
3 f) Deceitful speaking g) Gossip h) Abusive speech i) Reviling j) Threatening k) Speaking evil l) Any mentioning of the sins of the sins done by the unsaved, etc m) That s just a list from Ephesians and other words I know are in Scripture! n) = HUGE subject of God s WORD! 3. AND Remember SPEECH = TIP of the ICEBERG a) = Part that SHOWS ABOVE SURFACE of the water! b) IF ANY of these CHARACTERIZE you, EXAMINE your HEART to see WHAT SIN DEEP INSIDE and GENERATING this SPEECH, OK! II. Replace UNWHOLESOME WORDS with EDIFYING WORDS (v.29-30) Eph 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. A. PUT OFF: 29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, 1. Let s UNPACK this statement! 2. let no unwholesome word proceed a) no = NOT ONE! (1) NOT just the important words (2) = NOT ONE = NEVER, EVER! (3) Construction indicates PAUL is STRESSING / EMPHASIZING this! b) unwholesome word = worthless, useless, unprofitable, unwholesome (1) = CATEGORIZING WORDS according to whether or not they SERVE A PURPOSE or not! (2) > just bad words, foul words, swear words, off-color jokes, crudeness, etc. (3) INCLUDES Gossip, slander, backbiting, etc.! (4) PAUL there is NO PLACE ever, never for even ONE WORD of that stuff in the Christian life! (5) Andy Capp cartoon (old British cartoon) (a) Andy always sleeping on couch in living room (lazy, unemployed man) (b) Mother-in-law comes in front door (c) Andy asks her What do you know? (d) She says ONLY A FEW GRUMBLING WORDS and passes on to the kitchen
4 (e) Andy says, I learned a long time ago ALWAYS ask them what they KNOW, NOT what they THINK You get a FAR shorter answer! (6) Think about it HOW MUCH would you TALK if NO WORD COULD be of NO PURPOSE! (7) Now you understand why Proverbs says: Pr 10:19 When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise. (8) When you talk a lot, it is UNAVOIDABLE that you will sin! How? UNWHOLESOME WORDS! c) proceed from your mouth, (1) proceed = to go out = COMMAND! STOP doing this! (2) What is Paul saying? (a) First IT DIDN T START at the MOUTH! = It has come from within (b) Second It is NOW ABOUT to PASS THROUGH the MOUTH escape INTO open air! (c) Third STOP IT THERE! (3) Point You ve THOUGHT it, are about to SAY it, NOW YOU VE GOT TO STOP IT before it escapes AS SPEECH! (4) Psalmist Ps 141:3 Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. (a) Psalmist God is the best guard over what proceeds from my mouth! d) So let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth (1) Remember the context! (2) PUT OFF walk of the Gentiles unsaved walk. e) What kind of speech characterizes the unsaved world (walking like the Gentiles?)? A: Unwholesome, useless, ROTTEN!!! (1) Paul SUMS up the SPEECH of ALL UNSAVED in Romans 3! (a) Very Interesting progression! Ro 3:10 as it is written, THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE; (i) V.10 None Righteous goes RIGHT to SOUL! (b) V.11THERE IS NONE WHO UNDERSTANDS, (i) If you aren t righteous, you can t understand the things of God (1 Cor 2:14-15) (c) V.11b-12 THERE IS NONE WHO SEEKS FOR GOD; 12 ALL HAVE TURNED ASIDE, TOGETHER THEY HAVE BECOME USELESS; THERE IS NONE WHO DOES GOOD, THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE. (i) From the soul to the mind, to what? ACTIONS! (ii) Not going to GET ANYTHING GODLY from dead souls and minds! (d) V.13-15 What s left?
13 THEIR THROAT IS AN OPEN GRAVE, WITH THEIR TONGUES THEY KEEP DECEIVING, THE POISON OF ASPS (A SNAKE) IS UNDER THEIR LIPS ; 14 WHOSE MOUTH IS FULL OF CURSING AND BITTERNESS ; (i) See that progression? (ii) Throat Tongue Lips SPEECH! (iii) From DEADNESS within to DISGUSTING, poisonous, putrid speech! (e) V.16-18 THEIR FEET ARE SWIFT TO SHED BLOOD, 16 DESTRUCTION AND MISERY ARE IN THEIR PATHS, 17 AND THE PATH OF PEACE THEY HAVE NOT KNOWN. 18 THERE IS NO FEAR OF GOD BEFORE THEIR EYES. 19 Now we know that whatever the Law says, it speaks to those who are under the Law, so that every mouth may be closed and all the world may become accountable to God; (i) = Picture of their LIVES before God! (ii) Path goes to ultimately accountable to God for their unrighteousness! 3. Parallel Verses a) James 3:2-12 (last 2 weeks) b) Col 3:8 But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. c) Christ to the Jewish Leaders! (read last week) Mt 12:33 Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. 35 The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. 36 But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. B. PUT ON: but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, 1. BUT = CONTRAST a) What is the contrast? (1) = NORMAL Christian SPEECH (2) = Speaking in the way you learned Christ! (V.20) (3) = Speaking CONSISTENT to your NEW SELF Eph 4:24 which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. b) What does that Speech look like? 2. only such a word as is good a) Only (1) Paul s NOT GIVING an INCH on your SPEECH (2) NO WORD is to be UNWHOLESOME 5
6 (3) Now ONLY edifying words can be spoken! b) such a word as is good (1) good = direct contrast to unwholesome (2) Literally = good towards = useful, serviceable, suitable (a) = not empty, flattering good (b) = GOOD that PRODUCES GOOD (c) What kind of good? c) for edification according to the need of the moment (1) for edification = building up (a) What kind of words are good for edification? (b) A: BIBLICAL WORDS! (c) Where have we hear this before in Ephesians? (d) A: 4:15 Eph 4:11 And He gave some as some as pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. 14 As a result, we are no longer to be children, 15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, (e) And you thought the Pastors and Teachers were the only ones doing (i) Equipping the saints (ii) Building up the Body of Christ! (iii) Speaking the truth in Love (iv) Paul in v.29: NO WAY! WE ALL DO IT ALL THE TIME! (2) according to the need of the moment (a) last phrase FOCUSES your SPEECH! (b) EDIFY SPECIFICALLY towards the NEED of the MOMENT! (c) Paul told this to Titus! Tit 3:14 Our people must also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, so that they will not be unfruitful. (d) Needs are MET with GOOD WORDS and GOOD DEEDS! No other WAY! 3. Eph 4:29 is a HUGE REQUIREMENT placed on our SPEECH! a) THREE HUGE REQUIREMENTS OF EVERY CHRISTIAN to Control SPEECH! (1) Be EDUCATED (a) You CANNOT speak words good for edification IF YOU DO NOT KNOW the Word of God! 2 Ti 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth. (b) You have to Col 1:9 be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual
7 wisdom and understanding, (c) Paul to the Thessalonians 1 Th 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. (d) Paul to the Corinthians 1 Co 14:26 What is the outcome then, brethren? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification. (e) God s Word is ALONE good for edification 2 Ti 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. 2 Pe 1:3 seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. (2) Be a LISTENER (a) How can you ADDRESS the NEED of the MOMENT unless YOU LISTEN with SPIRITUAL EARS! (b) AND listening is NOT enough! (c) You have to apply be educated SO THAT LISTENING can DISCERN SPIRITUAL NEEDS! (d) How can you EDIFY the NEED of the moment IF you DO NOT KNOW the NEED of the MOMENT! (e) Isaiah knew this! Is 50:4 The Lord GOD has given Me the tongue of disciples, That I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple. (3) Be an EDIFIER (a) Did you know that IF you are UNWILLING to TELL other Christians THINGS that will EDIFY them I.E. Help them grow and build the body of Christ (b) Then you CANNOT SAY A WORD for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! (c) That s what V.29 says! (d) The ONLY kind of SPEECH a Christian can have with other Christians is only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, (e) AND IF You ADDRESS the NEED of the MOMENT WITHOUT proper BIBLICAL EDIFYING WORDS (i) Then You are merely giving empty worldly chatter (ii) WHICH leads to FURTHER UNGODLINESS! (2 Tim 2:16)
8 (f) Your words are either godly or ungodly (g) Your words either lead people TOWARDS godliness OR AWAY from GODLINESS (h) If your WORDS are NOT BIBLICAL, then THEY CANNOT be EDIFYING and, hence, they LEAD PEOPLE to UNGODLINESS! 4. Parallel verses Col 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Ps 37:30 The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, And his tongue speaks justice. Ps 71:24 My tongue also will utter Your righteousness all day long; For they are ashamed, for they are humiliated who seek my hurt. Pr 10:31 The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, But the perverted tongue will be cut out. Pr 10:32 The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, But the mouth of the wicked what is perverted. Pr 12:13 An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, But the righteous will escape from trouble. Pr 15:2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly. Pr 15:4 A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit. Pr 15:7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge, But the hearts of fools are not so. Pr 15:23 A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word! Pr 16:21 The wise in heart will be called understanding, And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. Pr 25:11 Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. Pr 25:12 Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold Is a wise reprover to a listening ear. C. Transition: 1. PUT OFF: Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, 2. PUT ON : but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, 3. Reason? D. REASON: 29 so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 1. So that = PURPOSE / REASON 2. TWO PURPOSES of EDIFYING SPEECH a) To GIVE GRACE to the Hearer b) To NOT GRIEVE the Holy Spirit 3. First - To GIVE GRACE to the Hearer it will give grace to those who hear.
9 a) Can t beat this purpose! b) Of course, who is our example of Gracious speech? Jesus Christ! Lk 4:22 And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips; and they were saying, Is this not Joseph s son? c) grace TWO uses ONE builds on the OTHER (1) First / Usual = Unmerited Favor that God bestows on sinners in providing salvation through Christ s sacrifice! (a) = Saved BY GRACE! (2) 2 nd = ENABLEMENT = Unmerited favor + POWER (3) We saw this earlier in Eph 4 as Paul described our Spiritual Gift from Christ as grace Eph 4:7 But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ s gift. (4) Paul s testimony of grace 1 Co 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me. 4. What is Paul saying? When YOU speak words good for edification according to the need of the moment,??? a) God USES those words to GRACIOUSLY ENABLE the other PERSON b) Enable them to what? (1) To BE EDIFIED (2) To GROW into CHRIST-LIKENESS (3) To BUILD the Body of Christ! c) This makes PERFECT SENSE! (1) If in conversation YOU SEE a SPIRITUAL NEED (2) And you FILL it WITH EDIFYING WORDS (3) Doesn t the Church, the body of Christ, grow stronger and more Christlike? Sure! d) POINT: GOD USES ALL OF US TO BUILD THE BODY of CHRIST! e) Your SPEECH is a VITAL PART of His WORK! 5. Of course, you re thinking Thanks a lot Bill. NOW NOBODY S GOING TO WANT TO SAY ANYTHING! (just kidding) 6. OK remember that there are TWO PURPOSES of EDIFYING SPEECH a) To GIVE GRACE to the Hearer. Next 7. To NOT GRIEVE the Holy Spirit 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. a) This ties back to the first part of v.29 speaking unwholesome words. b) Remember how APPLICATION is ALWAYS BUILT on DOCTRINE? c) Remember how you CANNOT Teach Ephesians 4-6 without FIRST KNOWING
10 Eph 1-3? d) Remember HOW our GREATEST MOTIVATION for LIVING GODLY is KNOWING / REMEMBERING what God has done for us? e) Often we cry out, God take this sin away from me! (1) God says: I did My Part. My Son went to the cross and defeated sin. I gave you My Holy Spirit. You NOW MUST DO YOUR PART. f) NOW God adds HOW COULD you POSSIBLY GRIEVE / MAKE SAD the HOLY SPIRIT Who is IN YOU KEEPING you for ME WITH MY SEAL? g) Turn back to Ephesians 1 Eph 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, [Now let s see those spiritual blessings ] [1 Chosen] 4 just as He chose us [2 Redemption] 7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, [3 Inheritance] 11 also we have obtained an inheritance,. [3 Sealed by the Holy Spirit] 13 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God s own possession, to the praise of His glory. h) Paul is REFERRING DIRECTLY BACK to HIS TEACHING in EPH 1:13-14 i) Two KEY words in Eph 4:30 unlock everything SEALED & REDEMPTION j) What does it mean to be sealed? (1) Ancient Times seal of authority! (2) 3 uses in ancient times (a) Sealing documents / things for authenticity Nehemiah 10:1 Now on the sealed document were the names of: Nehemiah the governor, the son of Hacaliah, and Zedekiah, (i) Close the envelope / Pour the wax (ii) King takes his ring and presses into the wax! (b) Sealing for Security (No tampering!) (i) Daniel put in Lions den and King sealed with his signet ring (ii) = NO ONE COULD OPEN it because King was highest authority in the land (only a higher authority could break someone s security seal). (iii) When Jesus put in the tomb (a) Stone rolled in front (b) SEALED with seal of Rome (c) Only a power greater than Rome could open it -One did! (c) Seal of a completed Transaction (i) Jeremiah bought the field according to the Lord s command and the transaction was sealed (d) Seal of Identification (i) Animals were sealed before shipment so that those set aside for sacrifice could be identified!
k) REDEMPTION = At the glorification of our bodies! (1) =full redemption = full inheritance of us (2) Holy Spirit is God s guarantee that He will follow through on all of His promises! (3) redemption = completion of redemption the redemption of our bodies! Romans 8:23 even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. 8. God wants us TO REMEMBER HIS HOLY SPIRIT IN US a) A PERSON -CAN be GRIEVED / HURT / MADE SAD b) Who is ONLY THERE for our GOOD! E. EVERY TIME you SPEAK CONSIDER TWO Persons! 1. GIVE GRACE to the ONE who is IN FRONT of you 2. DO NOT GRIEVE the ONE who is IN YOU. 11