When do things happen? E ach family will receive a Family Timeline which will indicate all start dates and deadlines for your child s training. A sample copy of this can be found in this packet on page 8. O ur Synagogue Skills class meets from 12:00-1:00 PM every Sunday during the school year, and 10:00-11:00 AM every Sunday during the summer months. The Synagogue Skills Class: What is it? S tudents are expected to attend at least 8 of these sessions, during which they will join with other B nai Mitzvah students to drill the basic prayers. Students may test out of the class as soon as they have demonstrated mastery of these prayers. Your child should join the class 9 months prior to his/her service date. E ach student will meet with Cantor Baron and have regularly scheduled sessions with a VBS tutor. Here is the schedule for meetings with Cantor Baron: 1 year prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (parents required to attend) 7 months prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah (Cantor Baron check in before sessions begin with your assigned tutor) 1 month prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah (Final check in with Cantor Baron - 2 sessions) Who are my child s tutors? D uring the 5 months between meetings with Cantor Baron, your child will have weekly 30-minute tutoring sessions with one of our excellent B nai Mitzvah tutors. Our tutors meet weekly with Cantor Baron to update him on each student s progress. 2
The following prayers can all be found on the VBS website at www.vbs.org/ bnaimitzvah and will also be given to your child on a CD: What prayers will my child be responsible for? Talit blessing Sh ma/v ahavta Amidah Torah Blessings Haftarah Blessings (optional if an afternoon Mincha service) Ashrei Kiddush (Friday evening) Kiddush (Shabbat morning) Various optional prayers The page numbers on the CD correspond to our Shabbat prayer book. Your child will receive a copy of Siddur Sim Shalom from Cantor Baron at the first meeting. Torah/Haftarah: What s the difference? יי וּרבּ םל על דבמה יי וּרבּ The Shabbat morning Torah reading consists of 8 short passages which are read from the Torah scroll (the afternoon Mincha reading has 3 passages which we normally divide into 4). These words are from the five books of the Chumash Genesis (B reishit), Exodus (Sh mot), Leviticus (Vayikrah), Numbers (Bamidbar), and Deuteronomy (D varim). Students usually can master this reading in 2-3 months. רבּ םל על םל על דבמה יי דבמה וּרבּ םל על דבמה יי וּרבּ The Haftarah is from the books of the Prophets, and we do not read it from a scroll. The melodies for the Haftarah differ from the Torah. Students can also usually master this reading in 2-3 months. Haftarah readings are optional in the afternoon Mincha service. T utors will provide a CD or audio file to aid the students preparation with both Torah and Haftarah. 3
How does the Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech get written? Students meet with one of our rabbis during the month before their service. For more specifics on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, please consult Teachings from the Rabbis which can be found on our website under Bar and Bat Mitzvah Information Page. Mitzvah Project is one of the first A responsibilities we are asking you to take on as a new adult in our community. We invite you to choose one or more community service projects and share in our dedication to bring more wholeness into the world. Please let us know what project you choose or we can provide you with a list of worthy service projects. What is a Mitzvah Project? What happens on Thursday morning? The Torah is read 4 times each week: Saturday afternoon (when each week s portion is read for the first time), Monday morning, Thursday morning, and Saturday morning. B nai Mitzvah students whose services are on Saturday morning are expected to read from the Torah the Thursday morning prior to their Shabbat service at the daily minyan at 7:15 AM. The Torah portion is the same as the one they will read on Shabbat. If students have a Shabbat afternoon Mincha service, we ask that they return the following Monday morning at the daily minyan at 7:15 AM to read their portion from the Torah. Yossi Dresner, Ritual Director will contact you to make arrangements. 4
The Friday night before your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration, your family will participate in the Kabbalat Shabbat Minyan in Winer Chapel (beginning at 5 PM in Fall and Winter months and 6 PM in Spring and Summer months). What happens on Friday night? The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will help lead some of the prayers for the evening, and the mothers are invited to light Shabbat candles as Shabbat begins. Some families choose to host a Shabbat dinner at the synagogue after services. Party Planning! Please contact Starlite Caterers for your party planning needs, and for more information regarding hosting a Shabbat dinner. S tarlite Caterers has been the exclusive caterer at Valley Beth Shalom for over 45 years. Contact their office (818) 789-7588 to set up an appointment, go over various menu options and prices, and begin the process of planning your simcha. From there they can provide referrals for bands, florists, photographers, entertainment, etc. 5
Who gets called up for honors? On page 9 of this guide you will find a sample Honors Sheet outlining which honors you may distribute to friends and family. Aliyot you will be able to choose several people honored with chanting the blessings before and after each Torah reading. Those being called up for an Aliyah should be over 13 and Jewish. You will need to provide both English and Hebrew names for those called to the Torah. Ark Openers - Need not be Jewish Torah Remover/Replacer Torah Lifter/Dresser Please read the Sample Honors Sheet carefully and let us know if you have any questions. Your child s tutor will give you a more specific list once tutoring begins. Parents are invited to speak to their children before the congregation shortly after the beginning of the service. Parents speeches should be no more than 5 minutes in length (total), and are a wonderful opportunity to speak to your child about the Jewish values you hold. Your officiating Rabbi will give you more guidance at your first meeting. Do parents make a speech? 6
Notes
B nai Mitzvah Timeline 8
B nai Mitzvah Honors Sheet 9
Be a mensch! What is respectful behavior at Valley Beth Shalom B nai Mitzvah services? This is a very exciting time in your life and the life of our community. We want to work together to create a meaningful and joyous celebration during the services, throughout the party, and when you attend the b nai mitzvah of your peers. Here are some key points to remember when attending a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Valley Beth Shalom or wherever you go for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony or party. 1. Do not use your phone in the sanctuary. If you need to use the phone, leave the room and return promptly to your seat when you are finished. 2. Do not speak to your friends excessively in the Sanctuary. If you want to chat with friends, please leave the Sanctuary, and walk up the hallway. Please be especially respectful of the parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the rabbi/leader giving instructions or teaching, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student leading the prayers or chanting Torah or Haftarah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is teaching us from the wisdom of our tradition. 3. Sitting and chatting in the synagogue hallway is acceptable. It s not a playground -- no running, no shouting. Be respectful of the furnishings and objects of the synagogue. 4. Do sit respectfully in your seats. Please remember to wear a kippah, keep a siddur and a copy of the Torah with you. Wear your tallit if you have already completed your training (boys and girls!). Do 5. participate! Your peers and friends have worked months for this moment. You may have even led the community in prayer and learning. You know what to do. Your participation is needed and appreciated! 10
6. Do wear appropriate clothing. This is a celebration and we all want to look great. Your dress during services should be modest (shoulders covered, dresses the length of your arms and lower, dress shirts, pants, and shoes.) See the guidelines for dress below. 7. Do care about your community and the environment! Do not play with school equipment and certainly do not destroy property! If you see others acting inappropriately, remind them this is a holy place. 8. DO HAVE FUN! THIS IS A GREAT MOMENT TO SHARE AND CELEBRATE WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE! Here is a recommended list for appropriate dress for synagogue: For Boys and Men: Slacks/no jeans Shoes/no sneakers or flip flops Collared shirts/no tee shirts or sweatshirts We prefer that gentlemen wear sweater or jacket and tie We ask all boys and men to wear a kippah (head covering) Those who have celebrated a Bar Mitzvah should wear a tallit For Girls and women: Clothing that is modest and fitted appropriately Clothing that is revealing or overly tight is not appropriate Shoulders covered; a skirt no shorter than 3 above the knee Reasonable shoes/no extreme high heels Women are encouraged to wear a kippah or head covering Those who have celebrated a Bat Mitzvah should wear a tallit
VBS Leadership Rabbi Edward M. Feinstein Rabbi Avi Taff Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis [z l] Cantor Herschel Fox Rabbi Joshua Hoffman Cantor Phil Baron Rabbi Noah Zvi Farkas Yossi Dresner, Ritual Director VBS B nai Mitzvah Administration Cantor Phil Baron (818) 530-4058 Rabbi Joshua Hoffman (818) 530-4003 B nai Mitzvah Information Line Cantor Toby Schwartz (818) 530-4040 Clergy Department Manager Janet Djalilmand (818) 530-4009 B nai Mitzvah Coordinator Natasha Benzaken (818) 530-4008 Starlite Caterers (818) 789-7588 15739 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91436 (818) 788-6000 www.vbs.org