Congregation Bayt Shalom Bar/Bat Mitzvah Manual. Congregation Bayt Shalom 3051 East 10th Street P.O. Box 2713 Greenville, North Carolina 27836

Similar documents
ICCJ Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guide

B NEI MITZVAH HANDBOOK

בני מצוה B nei Mitzvah Handbook

Temple Shalom of Newton

Temple Beth Shalom. Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Parent Handbook. Temple Beth Shalom 1461 Baltimore-Annapolis Blvd. Arnold, MD 21012

Celebrating a Tradition of Deep Connection and Innovation

Temple Beth Shalom. Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Parent Handbook. Temple Beth Shalom 1461 Baltimore-Annapolis Blvd. Arnold, MD 21012

A. All B nai Mitzvah ceremonies are to be held at services during which the Torah is read.

Congregation B nai Brith 201 Central Street, Somervile, MA

Beth Shalom B nei Mitzvah Handbook

A BAR MITZVAH with Chabad of Parkland

BAR AND BAT MITZVAH TEMPLE BETH ISRAEL

Temple Beth Shalom. Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Parent Handbook. Revised 1/2016. Temple Beth Shalom 1461 Baltimore-Annapolis Blvd.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Family Handbook. Sutton Place Synagogue

Congregation B nai Israel Preparing for Bar/Bat Mitzvah

BAR & BAT MITZVAH PREPARATION A GUIDE FOR PARENTS

B nai Mitzvah Handbook. Revised May, 2013

NANUET HEBREW CENTER BAR/BAT MITZVAH INFORMATION BOOKLET

Beth Israel Congregation Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook

B nei Mitzvah Student Handbook

Guide for Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parents at Bet Am Shalom. Prepared by Bet Am Shalom Ritual Committee 2017 /5777

PG. 12 MISCELLANEOUS Pictures Buying a Tallis Recommended Books and Resources Finances Post Bar/Bat Mitzvah Engagement

Bar and Bat Mitzvah Preparation Fall 2012

Religious Guidelines for. Ohavi Zedek Synagogue. Table of Contents

B"H B Mitzvah Handbook

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parent Handbook

Table of Contents. Revised 2/1/18

Family Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guide Temple Beth-El Birmingham, Alabama

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Policies Manual. Approved by the Board of Directors

A GUIDE TO BECOMING A BAR OR BAT MITZVAH AT BETH HAVERIM SHIR SHALOM

There is no formal dress code in our synagogue; however, we request that all dress respectfully.

B H BAR MITZVAHS. Chabad of Cobb 4450 Lower Roswell Rd. Marietta, GA

Congregation Beth Shalom B nei Mitzvah Information & Guidelines Introduction Requirements for Beginning the Process Selecting a Date

B nei Mitzvah Parent Handbook

Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Shir Hadash: A Family Handbook

June Dear Temple Sinai Bar/Bat Mitzvah Family:

Dates and Policies. Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Beth Meyer Synagogue

A Letter to Bnai Mitzvah. Mazal Tov,

CONTENTS BAR & BAT MITZVAH TRAINING: REQUIREMENTS: a) Educational b) Attendance c) Financial d) Torah Portion Presentation e) Tzedakah Project

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Overview

A GUIDE TO BECOMING A BAR OR BAT MITZVAH AT BETH HAVERIM SHIR SHALOM

Holy Blossom BECOMING A JEWISH ADULT: Life can blossom here. BAR / BAT M ITZVAH

Guidelines CELEBRATING YOUR CHILD S BAR/BAT MITZVAH. Mazel Tov!

Dates and Policies. Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Beth Meyer Synagogue

B NEI MITZVAH HANDBOOK. May 2018

L dor Vador: From Generation to Generation Congregation Children of Israel Athens, Georgia

Congregation Agudas Achim ohjt,sudt e e. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guide

Sinai Temple....a spiritual journey. Sinai Temple 1

B NEI MITZVAH HANDBOOK. October 2015

Jews have celebrated Bar Mitzvahs for thousands of years, and they have become a prominent part of our contemporary culture.

GUIDELINES PREPARING TO BECOME A BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Congregation Beth Hatikvah September 2015 B nai Mitzvah Handbook

CELEBRATING YOUR CHILD S BAR/BAT MITZVAH GUIDELINES

TEMPLE BETH EL BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK

Congregation Mishkan Tefila. Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Guide

B H BAR MITZVAHS. Chabad of Cobb 4450 Lower Roswell Rd. Marietta, GA

PARENT S Guide. Bar / Bat Mitzvah Handbook. The.

Bar / Bat Mitzvah Handbook

MORRISTOWN JEWISH CENTER BEIT YISRAEL BAR/BAT MITZVAH GUIDE

ANDREW CARLIN son of Maura & Glenn Carlin

A GUIDE FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH FAMILIES

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guide Rodef Sholom Temple 318 Whealton Rd. Hampton, Virginia

MORRISTOWN JEWISH CENTER BEIT YISRAEL BAR/BAT MITZVAH GUIDE

SHIRAT HANEFESH BNEI MITZVAH HANDBOOK

Beth Israel of San Diego Lee and Frank Goldberg Family Religious School Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook

2019 Kol Shofar B nei Mitzvah Handbook Table of Contents. 3 Kol Shofar s Standards for B nei Mitzvah

TEMPLE BETH EL BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK

HOSTING A BAR OR BAT MITZVAH BETH HAVERIM SHIR SHALOM

B'nai Mitzvah Process and Guidelines Policy Board of Directors Congregation Emeth. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Program Student Expectations:

BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK. Temple Emanu El Orange Village, Ohio

Bar and Bat Mitzvah

CONGREGATION HAKAFA B NAI MITZVAH GUIDE

It is the custom at Congregation Etz Chayim for the parents of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah to bless their child

Bar and Bat Mitzvah

B nei Mitzvah. transmitting. The. Program. between generations, Timeline. ...The child stands. inheriting from the one and. to the other...

KASHRUT GUIDELINES Congregation Beth David, Saratoga, California

Congregation Agudas Achim ohjt,sudt e e. B nai Mitzvah Guide

BAR/BAT MITZVAH A FAMILY HANDBOOK

BAR/BAT MITZVAH A FAMILY HANDBOOK

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guide

BAR/BAT MITZVAH A FAMILY HANDBOOK

TEMPLE OF ISRAEL BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK

Dear Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parents:

B nai Mitzvah Information Guide

o Tallit and Tallit Bag o Tefillin and Tefillin Bag Revised October 2017

The Synagogue Skills Class: What is it? S

Kol Ami B nai Mitzvah Program (Youth) Policy and Expectations (updated 2016)

Synagogue Emanu-El Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guide RABBI ADAM J. ROSENBAUM DAPHNE HUBARA, RELIGIOUS SCHOOL PRINCIPAL RUTHIE SIMMONS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

KASHRUT POLICY Congregation Beth David, Saratoga, California Revised Kislev, 5775/November, 2014

Beth El Synagogue Omaha, Nebraska PUTTING TOGETHER SHABBAT MORNING SERVICES. by Rabbi Paul Drazen H.E.L.P. Home Education Library Program

BEKI B nai Mitzvah Kiddush Cooperative Contract

Thirteen Mitzvot Program

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook Sweet Home Road, Buffalo, NY Delaware Avenue, Buffalo, NY

B nai Mitzvah Guide. A resource for families planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration. Adam Chalom Rabbi. Dawn Friedman Youth Education Director

B nai Aviv The Conservative Synagogue of West Broward

Standards and Guidelines for B nai Mitzvah. A Manual for Candidates at Congregation Kehillat Israel Lansing, Michigan

Teacher of Torah, Leader of Prayer

TEMPLE BETH EL BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK

HIWP Women s Tefillah / Bat Mitzvah Guidelines Family Planning Booklet

The Semitic Religions

Transcription:

Congregation Bayt Shalom Bar/Bat Mitzvah Manual Congregation Bayt Shalom 3051 East 10th Street P.O. Box 2713 Greenville, North Carolina 27836

Congregation Bayt Shalom Bar/Bat Mitzvah Manual TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction 3 Educational Requirements 3 Student, Family and CBS Responsibilities 3 Prayer Expectations 5 Meeting with the Rabbi 6 Planning the Ceremony 6 Readings, Honors & Aliyot 6 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech 7 Parents Prayer/Speech 7 Tzedakah Project 8 Photography/Taping 8 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Announcements 8 Invitations 8 Programs 9 Flowers/Kippot 9 Oneg Shabbat & Kiddush Luncheon 9 Parent Resources & Support 10 Fees & Finances 10 Contributions 10 Miscellaneous 10 Suggested Readings 11 Parents Prayer/Speech Examples 12 Planner & Timetable 13 Oneg Shabbat/Kiddush Guidelines 14 Kashrut Policy 15 Aliyot/ Bimah Honors Form 16 Torah Blessings 17 2

INTRODUCTION Mazel Tov! If you are reading this manual, we assume you are about to embark on a wonderful journey of learning, exploration, prayer and growth with your family, and especially your soon to be Bar/Bat Mitzvah student. It is a rewarding period, full of tutoring, work, study, mitzvot, and many decisions. The Rabbi, Ritual and Education Committees and the CBS Board of Directors share in your joy as your child is preparing to celebrate the religious coming of age: a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The purpose of this manual is to help you plan ahead so that decision-making, event planning, and the work to be done will be known well ahead to minimize any stress. It will give you a clear understanding of what your responsibilities are, and those of Congregation Bayt Shalom. It is our hope that this will be a wonderful spiritual experience and time of growth for your son or daughter as he or she prepares for this special experience. BAR/BAT MITZVAH EDUCATIONAL REQUIREMENTS The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will demonstrate competence as a leader in the synagogue setting with knowledge, skill and appreciation coming from several important sources: 1. The Religious School Experience 2. The Synagogue Experience 3. Individual Bar/Bat Mitzvah Training 1. THE RELIGIOUS SCHOOL EXPERIENCE provides a student with knowledge of the Bible, Jewish history, customs and ceremonies, Hebrew and prayer in order for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony to be a meaningful experience. It is expected that the candidate will have completed four years of formal religious school training. Regular attendance at weekly Hebrew school (Thursdays) and religious school (Sundays) is required. The Rabbi must approve that the candidate has fulfilled all of the educational requirements. Exceptions will be considered on an individual basis. 2. THE SYNAGOGUE EXPERIENCE is essential and regular attendance at services is expected of the candidate and his/her family. Those who attend regularly are familiar with the liturgy, the siddur (prayer book), the synagogue, and the service. They are more likely to be comfortable and at ease on the Bimah and in front of the congregation. 3. INDIVIDUAL BAR/BAT MITZVAH TRAINING is one part of the responsibility of Jewish adulthood learning what is necessary for a meaningful ceremony. Bar/Bat Mitzvah lessons with the Rabbi will consist of learning to lead Shabbat morning and Friday evening services, as well as prepare a Torah and Haftarah portion. These lessons are in addition to the regular Hebrew class schedule, and are to be arranged with the Rabbi. STUDENT RESPONSIBILITIES A. B nai Mitzvah students must be Jewish prior to their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. B. Education The B nai Mitzvah student is required to: 3

1. Complete a minimum of four years of Religious School (which includes a Hebrew language component) immediately prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah with very good attendance. 2. Obtain a basic knowledge of Jewish holidays and festivals, when they occur and why we observe them, and of Jewish history and prayers. C. Special circumstances: 1. New families to the congregation with children older than 4th grade should meet with the Rabbi and the Education Committee to determine educational requirements. 2. If a child has special needs, the Rabbi, Education Committee and family will determine modifications to the requirements. D. All Students attending Hebrew School are required to: 1. Demonstrate a level of proficiency of prayer book Hebrew. a. Attend a minimum of 10 Shabbat evening services per year at CBS b. Attend at least 5 Saturday morning services per year at CBS E. B nai Mitzvah students (the year leading up to Bar/Bat Mitzvah) will: 1. Demonstrate mastery of prayer book Hebrew. a. Attend a minimum of 16 Shabbat services per year at CBS b. Attend at least 8 Saturday morning services per year at CBS 2. Complete a Tzedakah Project prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. 3. Read: Putting G-d on the Guest List For Kids by Jeffrey K. Salkin. This is a book that may help you both emotionally and spiritually as you begin this journey. This book will be utilized during the individual tutoring sessions with the Rabbi. 4. Lead prayers during Friday evening services and Saturday morning Shabbat services. 5. Keep a journal documenting service attendance and the Tzedakah Project. 6. Prepare a D var Torah Speech (i.e., discuss meaning and interpretation of the torah and/or Haftarah portion). 7. Attend tutoring sessions with the Rabbi to master prayers, Torah, and Haftarah portions. FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES A. The family will work with the Rabbi to choose the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. The date must be approved by the Ritual Practices Committee and confirmed with the congregation s master calendar. B. The family must be CBS members and be current in their financial commitments to the Temple. C. The family agrees to support the student s educational requirements and will arrange for regularly scheduled tutoring sessions with the Rabbi to prepare Torah and Haftarah portions and other prayers required for Shabbat services. D. The family will provide the means for the student to attend services. E. The family will help the student facilitate the participation in a Tzedakah Project. F. Prepare a program booklet for the b nai mitzvah celebration (samples are available). G. Arrange service honors in consultation with, and approval of the Rabbi. H. The family will coordinate the Oneg on Friday evening. I. Optional: Present the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate with his/her own Tallit and Kippah. J. Optional: Although not required, provide a Kiddush luncheon coordinated by the family after the morning Shabbat service. 4

K. Optional: The family may provide appropriate biographical information about the student to The Shofar editor. This needs to be submitted 2 months prior to the event. CBS RESPONSIBILITIES A. Congregation Bayt Shalom will provide the candidate and family with this handbook. B. The Rabbi of Congregation Bayt Shalom will lead all services for B nai Mitzvah. C. Members of the congregation may attend and participate in the Shabbat Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. D. The congregation will give support and encouragement to the candidate as he/she leads prayers at services prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. E. The Education Committee, along with the Rabbi, will monitor the candidate s progress and occasionally may meet with the candidate and the family. F. Congregation Bayt Shalom will provide rabbinical support and guidance. G. A representative of the congregation will make a presentation to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the Saturday services. PRAYER EXPECTATIONS Below is a list of core prayers found in a Friday evening and Saturday morning Shabbat service at CBS. Each Bar/Bar Mitzvah student is expected to learn a majority of these prayers and have an understanding of their meaning and their relationship to the service. Friday Evening Service Shalom Aleichem Ahavat Olam Amidah Mourner s Kaddish Yismichu Hashamayim Shema Oseh Shalom Adon Olam L cha Dodi V ahavtah Mi She-bayrach Shabbat Kiddush Barchu Mi Chamocha Kaddish Shalem Chatzi Kaddish V shamru Aleinu Saturday Morning Service Mah Tovu V Ha er Eineunu Vayehi binso a ha-aron Haftarah Blessings Modeh Ani Shema Bay Ana Rachetz Haftarah portion Morning Blessings V ahavtah Responsive Shema D var Torah (speech) Ashrei Mi Chamocha Echad Eloheinu Etz Chayyim Hi Chatzi Kaddish Tzur Yisrael Gadlu Ayn Keiloheinu Barchu Kedushah Torah Blessings Mourner s Kaddish Yotzer Or Ayn Kamocha Torah Parasha (portion) Adon Olam 5

MEETING WITH THE RABBI One year before the Bar/Bar Mitzvah, the parents should schedule a meeting with the Rabbi. The general requirements, as well as the meaning and significance of your child becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be discussed. The Rabbi will assess the candidate s familiarity with Judaism and make any necessary recommendations. This meeting also provides an opportunity for parents to freely express their questions or concerns. A date for the ceremony should be chosen and a timetable for individual training can be established at this time. The family may wish to select the use of the Reform Movement Prayer Book (Gates of Prayer) or the Conservative Movement Prayer Book (Sim Shalom) during services. Another formal meeting with the Rabbi should be held about one month before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to finalize the arrangements (see Readings, Honors & Aliyot and Oneg Shabbat & Kiddush in this guideline). PLANNING THE CEREMONY READINGS, HONORS & ALIYOT A young person celebrates a Bar/Bat Mitzvah only in the context of a regular Jewish worship service at which the Torah is taken from the Ark and read. Although Shabbat has become the preferred time to celebrate, Monday, Thursday or Rosh Chodesh (start of a new Hebrew month) are also acceptable. There are a variety of readings, honors and Aliyot which may be offered to family and friends. On Friday evening you may have: The blessing over the candles before Shabbat begins English readings during the service Opening the Ark for Aleinu near the end of the service On Shabbat morning there are more honors to be given: Presentation of the tallit (by parents or grandparents see Parents Prayer/Speech) Two people who can read Hebrew fluently (Gabba im) Two people to open the Ark at the beginning of the Torah Service One person to carry the Torah scrolls (You may also wish to include the passing of the Torah from generation to generation) Up to 7 people to be honored by being called up to the Torah (Aliya) and recite the blessings before each torah reading One person to raise the Torah (Hagbah) One or two to dress the Torah (Gelilah) One person to carry the Torah back to the Ark Two people to open the Ark on the return of the Torah. 6

There are some factors which must be considered when distributing these honors: Non-Jewish individuals or children under Bar or Bat Mitzvah age may not be called to the Torah for an Aliya (blessing over the Torah). However, there are many other ways for non-jewish individuals to participate and be honored during the service. The person who raises the Torah and those who carry the Torah must be strong enough to lift and hold the scroll and its ornaments about 40 pounds. The Ritual Committee will be happy to appoint a few congregants to be ushers, to greet the worshippers and give them instructions (i.e., insure that men are wearing kippot and tallitot as needed, hand out the correct prayer book, etc.) unless there is someone you would like to assume that responsibility. We also recommend that if you are giving the honor of an Aliya (reading the blessings over the Torah) to anyone who is not familiar with the blessings, you should include the text of the blessings informing them of the honor, so that they may prepare for their role in the service (see Invitations). A copy is attached. We are aware that many families have non-jewish relatives and we welcome their participation. Please consult the Rabbi if you wish to honor any of these relatives. A form indicating the above parts with space for you to fill in those you wish to honor is included with this manual. The completed form (or a copy) should be turned in to the Rabbi at least one month before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Please understand that there may be other members of the Congregation who also require some of these honors. The Congregation has an obligation to honor those who are naming their child, who are to be married in the next week, and who are observing Yahrzeits during the week, etc. BAR/BAT MITZVAH SPEECH It is traditional for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to deliver a short speech (D var Torah). Some of the following subjects can be considered: The meaning of the Torah portion read during the service The Haftarah portion which he/she reads The various factors in his/her life for which he/she is grateful The Tzedakah project he/she participated in during the year Express thanks to those who provided their help, guidance and counsel His/her hopes, ambitions, prayers for the future PARENTS PRAYER/SPEECH While not required, parents may ascend the Bimah and express themselves to their child publicly. A natural place for this can be at the beginning of the Friday evening service or before the Barchu (public call to worship) or after the D var Torah speech given by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate. 7

TZEDAKAH PROJECT Putting the Mitzvah Back in Bar & Bat Mitzvah While the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony emphasizes the components of mastery of ritual, Tzedakah, true charity is extremely important as well. Performing mitzvot makes Jewish values real and brings greater meaning to the celebration. We encourage those who mark their coming of age as responsible Jewish adults to actively participate in Tzedakah. Some examples of acts of loving-kindness (G milut Hasidim) are volunteering at the homeless shelter, visiting the sick, or organizing or being involved in a clothing or food drive for the needy. You might also consider having leftover food from the celebration brought to the homeless shelter, donating a percentage of the cost of the simcha to Mazon, the Jewish Hunger Fund, or creating a Tzedakah package for a particular organization whose work is meaningful to your family. A list of organizations to contact is included in Putting G-d on the Guest List. You are welcome to discuss a variety of options with the Rabbi. Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates are required to select a Tzedakah project to be completed during the 10-12 month period prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration (this may be started earlier if you wish). Students volunteer about 40 hours for this project over this time period (averaging about 1 hour per week). Candidates are required to submit their project idea to the Rabbi for approval and provide a written account of their experience. PHOTOGRAPHY/TAPING The use of flash or still photography on Shabbat on the premises is prohibited. Please arrange with the Ritual Committee or Rabbi if you wish to have pictures taken with the Torah at another time. Audio or videotaping is permitted only if all preparatory work is done before Shabbat and the equipment does not require constant monitoring. The equipment must be turned on before the services begin and must not disturb the worshippers (e.g., noisy equipment). The set-up and placement of the equipment must be approved in advance by the Rabbi. BAR/BAT MITZVAH ANNOUNCEMENTS Congregation Bayt Shalom is open to all for worship. The announcement or a copy of the printed invitation of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah may appear in The Shofar, with the understanding that all members are invited to attend the service. Please submit the information to the Shofar editor two months prior to the date of the event. INVITATIONS The way you announce your event to family and friends is a personal choice. If mailing invitations, it is suggested to mail invitations at least 6-8 weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. This may be a good time to inform those who will be honored with Aliyot and include a copy of the blessings. You should consider inviting the classmates, Religious School teachers and the Rabbi to share this special occasion. It is important that those who have studied together be given the opportunity to celebrate one another s achievements. 8

PROGRAMS Some families may independently choose to have separate programs printed which act as a guide and supplement to the service. The program may include a welcome to your guests, some explanations of the service and the Torah and Haftarah portion, and a list of those with honors (see Parent Resources & Support). FLOWERS/KIPPOT It is the responsibility of the host Bar/Bat Mitzvah family to sponsor Bimah Flowers, if fresh flowers are desired. Please plan with the Rabbi for a convenient time for the flowers to be delivered or arranged by Friday afternoon preceding the Shabbat evening service. Should you wish to have special kippot, please be sure that they are in place at the synagogue by Friday afternoon. Please be aware that these monogrammed Kippot are often considered mementos/keepsakes for the guests. ONEG SHABBAT & KIDDUSH LUNCHEON Congregation Bayt Shalom is very much a family. We welcome all who have attended the service to share in the Oneg Shabbat and Kiddush Luncheon. There shall be an Oneg Shabbat on Friday evening and an optional Kiddush Luncheon following services on Shabbat morning for the entire Congregation (those who attend services). Both the Oneg Shabbat and the Kiddush Luncheon are arranged and sponsored by the host family. You are welcome to use the synagogue facilities for all functions. From the very beginning, all rites of passage in Judaism have not been complete without a Seudah Mitzvah an obligatory meal. In general, the meal was to emphasize the festive nature of the occasion. The Oneg Shabbat (literally, enjoyment of the Sabbath) and the Kiddush (literally, sanctification ) are among the most scrupulously observed of all the aspects of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony and are wonderful opportunities for fellowship and socializing. It provides an important chance for all the celebrants of the simcha (celebration) the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and the congregational family to get to know one another. Families may wish to bake and prepare the food to be served themselves, to prepare their own table decorations, etc. A list of basic guidelines one may follow to plan a Friday Oneg and a Saturday Kiddush is attached. However, this is your simcha and your individuality is respected and received with warmth. Please keep in mind that Congregation Bayt Shalom, does have a Kashrut (kosher) policy. Whether preparing food at home or seeking the help of a caterer, it is imperative for you to consider this policy (a copy is attached). The Rabbi is available to assist you with questions regarding Kashrut. PARENT RESOURCES & SUPPORT 9

There are a number of resources available to help you in planning your simcha. The most valuable may be those who have had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration and who are happy to share their experience with you as well as samples of programs, invitations, menus, etc. You may also wish to assist other parents of upcoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah in preparation, facilitation and celebration. This might include helping to set up, clean up, host or bake for one another. It is your decision what you would like to offer. As your date comes closer, you will be an educated parent as you will have been more closely involved with a number of celebrations. You will also have begun to form you own support group, which, if you desire, will help you the week or day of your celebration. FEES & FINANCES There is a building fee to be paid to cover date confirmation and building usage and cleaning. This is due when a date is set with the Rabbi one year prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. There is an instructional fee (in addition to Religious School tuition) which covers individual training by the Rabbi as well as printed and taped materials. This fee is payable together with school registration. All fees can be found on the Annual Dues/Fees Statement available in the annual membership packets. Questions and payments regarding fees can be discussed with the CBS Treasurer. It is understood that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah s family s financial responsibilities to the Congregation must be current (annual dues, school tuition and Bar/Bat Mitzvah fees be fully paid prior to the celebration). Non-member families must pay full membership fees for the year during which their celebration will be held in addition to the above mentioned fees. CONTRIBUTIONS It is traditional for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family to honor the occasion with a gift to the synagogue. Past gifts have included a simcha tree, prayer book fund donation and ritual objects such as a Torah breastplate. The Rabbi or Ritual Committee will be happy to assist you with additional suggestions. It is also customary for the family to honor the Rabbi with a gift. MISCELLANEOUS Smoking is not permitted anywhere on synagogue property, either in the buildings or on the grounds. Services start promptly at 7:30PM on Friday and 10:00AM on Saturday, whether there is a minyan or not. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family should be at the synagogue to greet congregants and guests prior to the service (at least 15-30 minutes early). 10

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family should inform all honorees of their honor and insure that they are in the sanctuary well ahead of the time when their honor is called; make sure that those who have a speaking honor (English readings on Friday or Torah Blessings on Saturday) are familiar with what they have to say and when. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrant should be dressed in an appropriate manner compatible with synagogue attendance and his/her leadership role. All men are required to wear kippot and all Jewish men may wear tallitot. The synagogue provides kippot as well as lace coverings for women who chose to cover their heads. Please discuss with the Rabbi if you anticipate having a large number attend your simcha regarding prayer book availability and seating capacity. The sanctuary and adjacent room can accommodate 140 people; a sit-down meal in the Brody Social Hall seats 75 comfortably (i.e., with food set up in the foyer). Please contact the House Committee Chairperson if you need anything set up or removed in the synagogue (i.e., chairs in the sanctuary s alcove, tables in the social hall, etc.). Our gift shop volunteers are available to assist you with many of your purchases (i.e., tallit, kippot, decorations, etc.) Whatever takes place in connection with the celebration of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, it is important to keep the spirit of Shabbat and of Judaism intact. SUGGESTED READINGS *A Spiritual Journey, The Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah Handbook, Seymour Rosell, Behrman House *Putting G-d on the Guest List, Rabbi J.K. Salkin, Jewish Lights Publishing *Available to you at Congregation Bayt Shalom s library PARENTS PRAYER/SPEECH EXAMPLES (From the Likrat Shabbat Siddur, pp. 68-69 blue pages) 11

This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and celebrate on it For the Parent of a Bat Mitzvah On this Shabbat when our daughter becomes a Bat Mitzvah, we have come with her and our loved ones to join in worship and to offer our prayer of thanksgiving. We are grateful, O G-d, for the privilege of passing along the gift of life which You gave us, thus sharing with You in the miracle of creation. We are grateful for the thirteen years of nurturing this life, for the unnumbered joys and challenges which these years have brought us. Praise to You, O Lord, for keeping us alive, for sustaining us, and for enabling us to reach this day. Bless our daughter, O G-d; watch over her, protect her, guide her. Help her to continue to grow in body and mind, in soul and character. Keep her loyal to our people and to the teachings of our Torah. May her life be rich and rewarding. May all her deeds bring pride to us, honor to the house of Israel, and glory to Your name. Amen. For the Parent of a Bar Mitzvah With gladness and thanksgiving we praise You, O Lord our G-d, for having kept us alive, and sustained us, and enabled us to reach this day. We give thanks for the wondrous privilege of seeing our son grow day by day, week by week, year by year. For the health and strength You have given him, for the mind and spirit with which You endowed him, for his ability to elicit and return love for all these precious gifts, we thank You. Watch over him, O G-d, on this special day and every day. Grant him a growing understanding of the true significance of this occasion and a deepening loyalty to everything which it represents. May the teachings of our heritage guide him throughout life; and may he lead a life worthy of Your blessings. Amen Additional sentiment: As we wrap you in this tallit, may you be protected in the spirit of righteousness, holiness and love. BAR/BAT MITZVAH PLANNER & TIMETABLE 12

ONE YEAR Meet with Rabbi Set schedule for weekly tutoring Set Bar/Bat Mitzvah date (building fee due) Set goals for Tzedakah project Participate in Friday evening/saturday morning services FOUR MONTHS Order invitations, kippot, etc. Develop plans for Friday Oneg Shabbat & Saturday Kiddush Luncheon TWO MONTHS Deadline for announcement (or invitation) publication in The Shofar Make arrangements for Bimah flowers ONE MONTH Meet with the Rabbi to submit completed Aliyot Honors Form Submit list of readings or particular information for Friday and/or Saturday service to Rabbi (i.e., tallit presentation, names of readers, etc) Finalize menu and items needed for Friday evening Oneg Shabbat Finalize details for Saturday Kiddush Luncheon (if applicable) Contact House Committee Chair to arrange preparation of building and grounds (e.g., grass mowing, set up/removal/rearrangement of chairs, tables, etc.) TWO WEEKS Arrange with Rabbi scheduling & availability of building regarding photography (i.e. pictures on the bimah, deliveries, kitchen use, video placement, etc.). Deliveries & set-up must be completed before 3 p.m. Friday. Finalize Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech Prepare Parents Prayer/Speech ONE WEEK Write up special announcements for the Rabbi or President to include Take a few deep breaths SUGGESTED GUIDELINES: FRIDAY ONEG SHABBAT AND SATURDAY KIDDUSH LUNCHEON 13

FRIDAY ONEG SHABBAT Challah traditionally two loaves Kosher Wine/ Small Wine Cups (1 oz) Table Covers (table cloths are available in the kitchen) Decaf Coffee (several coffee urns are available) Milk or Creamer (non-dairy or dairy) Sugar & Sweetener Soda, Punch or Juices Ice Assorted Cookies, Cakes and Pastries ( finger food recommended) Optional: Regular Coffee/Tea, Assorted Fruit Platters, Nuts, Raisins, Candies, Table Decorations/ Centerpieces Paper Goods Needed: Hot & Cold cups, Plastic Forks, Knives & Spoons, coffee stirrers, ice bucket/bowl, small plates KIDDUSH LUNCHEON Basic items as above plus: Bagels or Bread Cream Cheese Margarine or Butter Assorted Sweets Coffee Milk or Creamer Soda, Punch or Juices Optional: Lox, Smoked Fish Flavored Spreads (i.e., lox, vegetable, chive) Salads (i.e., Tuna, Egg, Herring, Whitefish, Pasta, Rice) Gefilte Fish Vegetable Platters Fruit Platters NOTE: PLEASE SEE KASHRUT POLICY FOR APPROVED BAKED GOODS AND OTHER FOOD ITEMS BROUGHT TO THE SYNAGOGUE. CONGREGATION BAYT SHALOM KASHRUT POLICY 14

To maintain kashrut (kosher) in the synagogue: All foods must be either dairy or pareve ( most fish is pareve see exceptions below) No meat of any kind may be served (i.e., chicken, fowl, beef, lamb, etc.) No shellfish or non-kosher fish may be served (i.e., lacking both scales and/or dorsal fins) Food may not be prepared in or contain animal fat (i.e. beef fat or lard) NOTE: Most prepared pie crusts are made with lard. Please check for approved kosher symbols on packages. Please check with the Rabbi if you have any questions regarding the kashrut of any particular product. ALIYOT BIMAH HONORS SHABBAT/HOLIDAY: DATE: TIME: 15

BAR/BAT MITZVAH: Parents: Grandparents: ARK OPENERS AND TORAH CARRIERS AND GABBA IM AND (Gabba im Torah Reading Assistants; Rabbi can recommend qualified congregation members, if you like) 1 st KOHAYN BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) 2 nd LEVI BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) 3 rd SHLISHI BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) 4 th REVI I BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) 5 th HAMISHI BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) 6 th SHISHI BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) 7 th SHEVI I BEN/BAT (Hebrew Name) (Father/Mother Hebrew Name) *MAFTIR* BEN/BAT HAGBAH (Lifting) GELILAH (Dressing) CARRY TORAH/RETURN TO ARK ARK OPENING FOR ALEINU AND BIMAH HONOR GUEST(S) TORAH BLESSINGS 16

Below is the first blessing recited in Hebrew prior to the reading of the Torah. The first line is recited by the person offering the blessing, then waits for the congregation to respond with the second line. Then, the second line is repeated along with the rest of the first blessing. Bar chu et Adonai hame vorach The congregation responds: Baruch Adonai ham vorach l olam va-ed. Baruch Adonai ham vorach l olam va-ed. Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam Asher bachar banu mikol ha-amim V natan lanu et Torohto Baruch Atah Adonai Notein ha Torah. (Praise, Adonai, the One to be praised. Praise Adonai, the One to be praised, forever. Praised are You, Adonai, our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who has chosen us from among the peoples and given us the Torah. Praised are You, Adonai, the Giver of the Torah.) Following the reading of the Torah selection, the concluding blessing is offered. Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam. Asher natan lanu Torat emet V chayei olam nata b to cheinu. Baruch Atah Adonai notein ha-torah. (Praised are You, Adonai, our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who has given us the Torah of truth and implanted within us eternal life. Praised are You, Adonai, the Giver of Torah.) 17