TEMPLE BETH EL BAR/BAT MITZVAH STUDENT HANDBOOK 5777/2016-2017 Rabbi David Widzer: rabbiwidzer@tbenv.org Cantor Rica Timman: hazzan@tbenv.org Rabbi Beth Kramer-Mazer: educator@tbenv.org Website: www.tbenv.org Phone: 201-768-2195
STUDENT BAR/BAT MITZVAH WORKBOOK Rabbi s Greetings 3 Cantor s Greetings 4 How to choose your Torah reading 5 Torah reading request form 6 Bar/Bat Mitzvah checklist 7 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Prayers 8-17 KIDDUSH 8 BLESSING BEFORE TORAH READING 9 BLESSING AFTER TORAH READING 9 BLESSING BEFORE HAFTARAH READING 10 BLESSING AFTER HAFTARAH READING 10 MORNING BLESSINGS 11 BAR CHU 12 YOTSEIR 12 SHEMA/V AHAVTA 13 ADONAI S FATAI / AVOT V IMAHOT 14 G VUROT 15 KEDUSHA RESPONSES 16 ALEINU 17 TALIT BLESSING 17 Torah Portion Outline Form (for Rabbi meeting) 18 Mitzvah Project Form 19 13 Mitzvot Project 20-26 Mitzvah Diary Sheets 27 Shabbat Service Study Pages 28 2
FROM THE RABBI TO OUR STUDENTS If you are reading this letter, holding in your hands in the Handbook that will help you become Bar or Bat Mitzvah, then the first thing to say is mazal tov! It is exciting to come to this important milestone in the Jewish life-cycle. Becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah is how we mark the transition when children become young adults and take their places as fully responsible members of the Jewish community. It is an honor and privilege to help you along this path and celebrate with you. Bar or Bat Mitzvah literally means son or daughter of the commandments. It s a technical status in Jewish law, a person who is no longer treated as a child, but as a young adult. I have a rabbi friend who likes to translate Bar or Bat Mitzvah as son or daughter of responsibility, to mark the time when you are growing in responsibility. In either case, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is not something that you have, it is something that you become. A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is not the Shabbat worship service. It is not the celebration or party. Both of those are important ways we mark this transition, but they are not the most important part. A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is, in a word, you you as a young adult, you as a responsible member of the Jewish community, you whom we will view in a new way. We re going to expect a lot from you as you prepare to become Bar or Bat Mitzvah. We know you re up to it! There are prayers and blessings to review, Torah and Haftarah verses to learn, a Torah portion to teach about, and many, many hours of preparation. We wait until you are old enough, mature enough, and responsible enough to handle these preparations, as we know you can do it. Now is the time! It is also a time to try out the different responsibilities of being a young Jewish adult. The big Mitzvah Project and the 13 Mitzvot that you will do over the coming months will let you sample some of the things that Jewish adults do. This includes putting Jewish values into practice through rituals like lighting the Shabbat candles, saying Kiddish, and praying at services. It also includes putting Jewish values into practice by ethical and just actions, like taking care of the homeless, visiting the sick, and honoring your parents. Trying out these different responsibilities will help you understand what it means to be a young Jewish adult. Becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a process and a transition, but it is not the end. You will be a Bar or Bat Mitzvah for the rest of your life! And so we look forward to your involvement in the Jewish community as a young adult, continuing learning through Confirmation in 10 th grade and beyond, coming to services and Temple events, and helping us in our efforts to repair the world. The worldwide Jewish community is awaiting your arrival! May you enjoy all the learning that lies ahead of you. May your efforts bring honor to yourself, your family, our community, and our God. L Shalom, Rabbi David S. Widzer 3
A NOTE FROM THE CANTOR TO STUDENTS AND PARENTS Congratulations! You are about to embark on a journey that will lead you to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah and beyond. The study of Torah or Talmud Torah is one of the most important mitzvot of Jewish life. Singing the melodies of the Torah, Haftarah and brachot are mitzvot too. It is said that the words of the Torah should be chanted with a sweet melody. Our melody or trop is almost 2000 years old! Six to seven months before your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date we will begin our formal studies. During those months you will be coming for lessons once a week with me. These sessions will be for approximately 20 minutes. Please understand that my schedule is very full and if you need to cancel, I might not be able to reschedule that session. Here is the process: We will begin by learning to chant the Torah portion and the prayers. About eight weeks before your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, after you have finished learning your Torah portion, you will also learn to chant your Haftarah portion. During this entire process you will also be working on your Mitzvah Project and 13 Mitzvot. About four weeks before your Bar/Bat Mitzvah, I will begin working with you to put all the pieces of the service together. These sessions will be longer and will include time on the bima practicing and polishing all you have learned. You will also begin to work on your d var Torah (Torah interpretation and B nai Mitzvah speech) with your family and under Rabbi Widzer s supervision. We have materials we will be happy to provide you to help with the process of writing a d var Torah. By now you will have received these important items: 1. Your own siddur 2. This B nai Mitzvah Workbook 3. Your Torah/Haftarah booklet 4. Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah Prayers CD In preparation for your first lessons with me, please review all these materials. Practice all your prayers in class and at home using the CD and workbook, and read through your Torah/Haftarah booklet. Bonus! We are very fortunate to also have a volunteer from our congregation, Marlowe Marcus, who is available for additional weekly tutoring throughout the process. He will be in touch with your family once you begin lessons with me. Here is a tip to becoming better prepared for your special day: Attend other B nai Mitzvah services here at our Temple in the weeks and months to come. Attending services is part of your commitment to our religious school, but it also is a wonderful way to gain a deeper understanding of your new role as an adult member of our Jewish community. I look forward to taking this journey with you over the next several months. And someday it will be my joy and honor to also welcome you as an adult in our Jewish community. Mazel Tov! With blessings and best wishes, Cantor Rica Timman 4
HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR TORAH READING As a family, read over all of the Torah verses in English in your Torah booklet. They are printed in the Translation column on the right side of each 2-page spread. Be sure to read all the verses in the portion. You will know when you come to the end because it will be followed by a page labeled Highlights of the Parasha. You may find the editor s Introduction to the Parahsa and short essays that follow the verses helpful in understanding the reading. However, the editor only chooses a few ideas to highlight. You do not have to follow his ideas. As you read the verses, you will notice that your reading is either a story (or a few stories), a section of laws, or other material about the early Israelites in the wilderness. Look for a paragraph, a topic, or an incident that catches your interest. It could be a story that teaches us about God, or about our ancestors lives. It could be a conversation or story that reminds you of something in your own life, or a problem in the world. It could be a rule or law you agree with. It could be a rule or law or act of God you find puzzling or difficult. It could be a problem that our ancestors faced that we still face today. It could be a practice or belief that modern Jews still follow, perhaps in new ways. Or anything else that makes you stop and think. Fill in the TORAH READING REQUEST FORM with your first and second choices of verses you would like to read when you become Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The two choices should not be from the same paragraph. Tell us why you chose each section. If you are becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah with another student, your choices will be compared to your partner s choices. The Cantor will then assign verses to each student. Your Torah request form can be found on page 6. 5
TORAH READING REQUEST FORM Name Date when I will become Bar/Bat Mitzvah Dear Cantor Timman, I have read over the Torah portion for the Shabbat when I will be helping to lead the service, using the booklet provided by the Temple. My Torah Portion is titled (on cover of booklet) and is from the Book of (on cover). For my Torah chanting, I am most interested in the following sections: 1 st Choice: Chapter Verses (8-10 consecutive verses) Because: 2 nd Choice: Chapter Verses (8-10 consecutive verses) Because: PLEASE RETURN TO CATHY IN TEMPLE OFFICE BY DECEMBER 15. (This will allow your Torah CD to be ready on time.) 6
TEMPLE BETH EL BAR/BAT MITZVAH CHECKLIST Name: BM Date Torah Portion Haftarah Portion Single Share Name of BM Partner DONE DATE CHECK LIST Prayers: Page# BLESSING BEFORE TORAH 9 BLESSING AFTER TORAH 9 BLESSING BEFORE HAFTARAH 10 BLESSING AFTER HAFTARAH 10 KIDDUSH 8 MORNING BLESSINGS 11 YOTSEIR 12 BAR CHU 12 SHEMA / V AHAVTA 13 ADONAI S FATAI / AVOT V IMAHOT 14 G VUROT 15 KEDUSHA RESPONSES 16 TALIT BLESSING 17 ALEINU 17 Torah Portion: Completed no vowels: 1 st ALIYAH 2 ND ALIYAH 3 RD ALIYAH 4 TH ALIYAH 5 TH ALIYAH Haftarah Portion: 1 st HALF CHANTED 2 ND HALF CHANTED Mitzvah Project 19 Thirteen Mitzvot 20-27 Shabbat Service Study Pages 28 D var Torah Torah Translation Cards Aliyah and Hebrew Names Sheets see parent handbook 7
KIDDUSH 8
TORAH BLESSINGS Praise the Eternal, to whom our praise is due! Praised be the Eternal, to whom our praise is due, now and forever! Blessed is the Eternal our God, Ruler of the universe, who has chosen us from all peoples by giving us Torah. Blessed is the Eternal, Giver of the Torah Blessed is the Eternal our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has given us a Torah of truth, implanting within us eternal life. Blessed is the Eternal, Giver of the Torah. 9
HAFTARAH BLESSINGS After the Reading 10
MORNING BLESSINGS 11
BAR CHU YOTZER (Creation) 12
SHEMA & V AHAVTA 13
ADONAI S FATAI & AVOT V IMAHOT (God of our Ancestors) 14
G VUROT 15
KEDUSHA RESPONSES & L DOR VADOR 16
ALEINU Prayer for putting on a Tallit: בּ רוּך אַתּ ה, י י א ל ה ינוּ, מ ל ך ה עוֹל ם, א ש ר ק דּ שׁ נוּ בּ מ צ וֹת יו, ו צ וּ נוּ ל ה ת ע טּ ף בּ צּ יצ ת. Blessed is the Eternal our God, Supreme spirit of the universe for giving us commandments that make us holy and instructing us to wrap ourselves in the tzitzit. Amen 17
TORAH PORTION OUTLINE (Bring to Rabbi for first meeting about your D var Torah) FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH NAME TORAH PORTION 1. Who are the major characters in the portion? 2. What events take place in your portion? 3. What important laws or customs are discussed? 4. What Jewish value or moral do we learn from this portion? How does it apply to today? 5. What is the most meaningful message you learned? 18
MITZVAH PROJECT FORM Please return to the Rabbi-Educator around 6 months before your date. Name Date when I will become Bar/Bat Mitzvah Mitzvah Project Title DESCRIPTION: What will you be doing? Where will you do your Mitzvah Project? When will you start? Contact person and phone # Approx. how many hours per week? With whom? THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR MITZVAH PROJECT: In doing this project what mitzvah will you be accomplishing? (Need help with this? Speak with the Rabbi-Educator, Rabbi, or Cantor.) What interests you about this project? What do you hope to get out of it? Please submit this plan to the Rabbi-Educator for approval before you begin your project. Please call 201-768-2195 if you have any questions about your project. Approved: 19
THE THIRTEEN MITZVOT WHY? Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a process more than an event. It is a time in your life when you are becoming more responsible in many ways. In Jewish tradition, at the time of becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah, one becomes responsible for Mitzvot in one s own life. A mitzvah is a commandment. It is a way of showing responsibility by reaching out to others and to try to come to an understanding of what God requires of us. Understanding mitzvot can raise daily acts of goodness and caring to acts of holiness. By fulfilling this project, you will make mitzvot a more important part of your life and see how small, everyday acts can be seen as holy acts. WHY THESE MITZVOT? For this project we are focusing on ethical mitzvot", that is, mitzvot between people. The categories are based on a well known passage from the Mishnah that is part of our daily worship services: HOW? This booklet suggests a number of projects for you to choose from. Try to choose at least one mitzvah from each of the listed 10 categories. You can add two others of your choosing. The thirteenth mitzvah will be the Aliyah you receive as you are called to the Torah on your special day. Sit down with your parents and read through the booklet together. As you perform each mitzvah, fill in the mitzvah diary sheets in the back. WHEN? Start working now. Some of the Mitzvot can be done right away; others will take some time to do. Some of these Mitzvot you may have already fulfilled in the course of your religious education this past year. Decide which Mitzvot you would like to perform or have already performed. After fulfilling each Mitzvah, have a parent, the Rabbi-Educator, the Cantor, or the Rabbi sign your Thirteen Mitzvot form. 20
CATAGORIES FOR THE 13 MITZVOT 1. KIBUD AV VA'EM HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS, TOO) a. Do something that you would not ordinarily do to be helpful to your parents. b. Call, write or visit with a grandparent, aunt, or uncle whom you do not ordinarily see. c. Create a family history or genealogy. d. Do something that you would not ordinarily do to be helpful to another member of your family. e. Find a way to let your parents know that they are appreciated and loved. f. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 2. GEMILUT CHASADIM ACTS OF LOVING KINDNESS a. Participate with your family in the MAZON program by contributing 3% of the cost of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah party to MAZON, a Jewish organization which feeds the hungry. Check out your packet of information from the cantor. Once a month call, write or visit a grandparent. b. Visit a retirement or nursing home (e.g. Go several times to get to know some of the residents). c. Contribute money to the charity of your choice. In Judaism, this is known as tzedakah, or "doing the right thing." The Torah called upon Jews to give a tenth of what they produced to what we would call "charity." This tenth was called a tithe. You and your family might consider a "simcha tithe" - giving an amount to charity equal to a, tenth of what you will spend on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah party. If you receive money as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift, you may personally want to contribute a percentage to tzedakah. Another idea: A lot of the money you receive you'll probably invest; if you spend some now on yourself, give an equal amount to tzedakah. d. Break one bad habit that has a negative effect on others. e. Volunteer some time at a social service agency, (e.g., soup kitchen, nursery hospital, home for the aged...just to mention a few!). f. Clean out your drawers and closets and donate your old clothing to the needy. g. Use books, baskets of food, or toys as centerpieces for the tables at your Bar/Bat Mitzvah meal or Friday evening oneg. Then, donate them to the appropriate 21
organization of your choice. If you use flower centerpieces, donate them to a citizens' home or other worthwhile place. h. Contact TBE's Social Action Committee and volunteer to assist them in a project. i. Do something special for someone you know that you would not ordinarily do. j. As invitations for your ceremony, use JNF certificates (those certificates you get when you buy trees for Israel). k. Help a friend with school work in such a way as to ensure that s/he will be able to do it alone next time. 1. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. Get Cantor's approval first. 3. HASHKAMAT BElT HAMIDRASH, SHACHARIT V ARVIT ATTEND THE SYNAGOGUE REGULARLY a. Attend Friday evening or Shabbat morning services at least three weeks in a row. b. Recite the Sh ma (in Hebrew and English) before going to sleep each night for two weeks. Does praying in this routine effect your outlook on the day? Discuss your reactions with your parents, friends or teachers. c. Cook or bake two traditional dishes for a Jewish holiday or Shabbat meal. d. Volunteer four hours of service to the Temple. e. Fast for a full day on Yom Kippur f. Lead Friday night blessings (candles, wine, bread) at home for one month. g. Keep Passover (no bread or bread products) for all seven days. h. Take time to do the Havdalah blessings (wine, spices, candle) on two Saturday nights in a row. i. Affix a mezzuzah to the doorpost of your house or your room. Use Gates of the House (our Reform home prayer book) to help you with the blessings. If you do not own Gates of the House, get the blessing from the Cantor. j. Attend a service at another synagogue. Write down your reactions to the service and some of the differences from TBE services. k. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 22
4. HACHNASAT ORCHIM WELCOME THE STRANGER a. Invite others to a Shabbat or Holiday dinner in your home. Help prepare and serve the meal. b. Welcome a new kid at school or camp by including them in an activity or introducing them to other friends. c. Build a sukkah and invite guests to a Sukkot meal in the Sukkah. d. Invite a friend who would not ordinarily go to a Seder to yours. e. Contribute time and/or money to a refugee resettlement organization. Contact the Jewish Family Service for references. f. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 5. BIKUR CHOLIM VISIT THE SICK a. Visit a children s ward in a hospital and bring balloons or small gifts. b. Entertain at a hospital. c. Create some beautiful greeting cards for the Rabbi or Cantor to use when visiting the sick. d. Cook meals for someone who is ill. e. Clean house for someone who cannot do so for him or herself. f. Help a classmate who is ill. Bring homework, library books, and messages between home and school. g. Visit a home-bound or hospital-bound relative or friend. h. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 23
6. HACHNASAT KALLAH REJOICE WITH BRIDE AND GROOM (AND OTHER SIGNIFICANT JEWISH MOMENTS) a. Participate in the planning of a Brit Milah, a baby-naming ceremony, a wedding, a conversion or other significant Jewish moment. b. Attend one of the above and write up your reactions to it. c. Help check coats, move chairs, serve food, etc., at a Jewish life cycle event. d. Interview/video your parents and/or grandparents to find out about their wedding. What kind of ceremony did they have? Did they do anything special in it? e. Interview/video your parents and/or grandparents to find out about their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. How were things different then? f. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 7. L VAYAT HAMAYT COMFORT THE BEREAVED a. Attend a minyan at a house of mourning. b. Make a shivah call with your parents. c. Cook a meal or some baked goods and deliver them to a family in mourning. d. Attend a funeral. e. Visit the graveside of a relative. Learn and write about that person s life. f. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category! 24
8. IYUN TEFILLAH PRAY WITH SINCERITY a. Write a short essay on the meaning of your favorite prayer. b. Practice communicating with God for 5 minutes each day for two weeks. End your session with the Shema. c. Whisper the Shema and V ahavta to yourself before you go to bed at night. Do this daily for two weeks. d. Say the b rachot (blessings) over bread in your home daily every time you eat for two weeks. e. Create a special prayer or poem for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. It could be a prayer of thanksgiving for becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, or a prayer for peace, about Shabbat, about worship, or about being a Jew. f. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 9. HAVA AT SHALOM BEIN ADAM LACHAVERO MAKE PEACE WHERE THERE IS STRIFE a. Work on only speaking well of others and getting others to follow your example. b. Help two enemies become friends. c. Help someone who is in trouble. d. Listen to a friend who is upset. e. Become friendly with someone you didn t like before. f. Restrain yourself from answering back in an argument. g. Go out of your way to avoid a fight with your family. h. Defend someone who is being teased or hurt. i. Include someone in your group who is usually excluded. j. Research, support, and/or join a peace-making organization, like Interns for Peace, Fellowship of Reconciliation, Jewish Peace Fellowship, Gesher, or Amnesty International. 25
10. TALMUD TORAH K NEGED KULAM THE STUDY OR TORAH IS EQUAL TO THEM ALL... WHEN IT LEADS TO THEM ALL! a. Attend TBE s Saturday morning Torah study group at least two times. b. Study your entire Torah portion and choose one major issue that interests you. Find one traditional commentator (ask for help!!) and learn what that commentator has to say about that issue. c. Create a prayer, drawing, painting, collage, or song to illustrate your Torah portion. d. Ask one of your teachers for an extra article or chapter on a topic you are studying in Religious School or research a topic or a current event relating to Judaism or Israel and write a report. e. In order to begin developing your own Jewish library, add a Jewish book to your personal collection. Read it and write a paragraph explaining what you liked about it or learned from it. Religious School texts don t count! f. Learn about a topic relating to Judaism and write 2-4 paragraphs about it. g. Learn one new way of observing a Jewish holiday of your choice. h. Visit or prepare to visit Israel. Write about a place you did or will visit. 1. Custom-make your own mitzvah for this category. 26
MY MITZVAH DIARY Mitzvah Number The mitzvah name is: (English title) Activity (please write exactly what you did) 1. Describe why you performed this mitzvah: 2. Describe your reactions to doing this mitzvah: 3. Describe this mitzvah s effect on others: Parent s Signature: Date: 27
Fill out one of these pages for each service attended the year preceding Bar/Bat Mitzvah (at least eight). SHABBAT SERVICE STUDY PAGE My name Grade Date of this Service Shabbat Shalom! Please answer all the questions and keep in your Bar/Bat Mitzvah notebook to turn in to the Rabbi one month before the date you become Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Use back of page if needed. We strongly suggest you do this within a day so you do not forget! 1. Who did you come to Temple with and who did you sit with during this service? 2. What moment did you feel you really were praying in the service or connecting to Judaism, and why? (If you cannot answer this, then tell what you prayed for during the silent prayer.) 3. If there was a Torah service, what was the Torah reading about? 4. What was the rabbi s sermon/talk/story about? What do you think the lesson was? 5. During the healing prayer or when the congregation recited Kaddish for those who have died, did you think of any particular person(s)? If so, how did that make you feel? 6. If the service was led by a Bar/Bat Mitzvah student, what did he/she/they talk about? 7. If there was any special music or celebrations at this service (Baby-naming, wedding blessing/ufruf, guest musician, etc.), describe it and tell what you thought about that aspect of the service. 28