I Need a Friend A Six-Week Bible Study Based on the Lives of Ruth and Naomi By Mary Southerland Mary Southerland Web: www.marysoutherland.com The Stress-Buster E -mail: mary@marysoutherland.com
Study Guide I Need a Friend A six-week Bible Study based on the lives of Ruth and Naomi By Mary Southerland Thank you for purchasing the bible study, I Need a Friend. My prayer is that God will use this study to change your life and/or the lives of those you are leading. The study itself, for the most part, is self-explanatory but let me share some extra thoughts and ideas with you. The study has several different sections that can be completed in one day or in one week. My hope is that this format will set the learner up for success instead of failure. So often, we begin a bible study with great excitement and determination. Then life happens and we miss a day. The enemy immediately dumps a load of guilt on us as he whispers, You might as well give up. You will never do this! Using the format of I need a Friend eliminates that scenario. If you miss a day, it can easily be done later in the week. The goal is to underline the relevance and power of God s word and then learn how to plug it into every minute of every day. First, let s look at each section of the bible study. Mindset for the Journey: The greatest spiritual battles are first waged in the mind. Having the right mental attitude or mindset as you begin the study is vital to its success in your life. Before you open your bible, stop, pray and thank God for His written Word. Ask Him to reveal the unique message He has for you in this study. Read the key passage listed two or three times. Make a deliberate choice to fix your thoughts on each word and each phrase as you read it. Don't let your mind wander to the pile of dirty laundry or the mystery of tonight's dinner menu. Focus only on God's truth and let everything else fall away. Your mind is now set and you are ready to begin Day 1. Facts for the Journey: This section is the framework and heart of each week's study. To grow spiritually, we must walk by faith not by sight. Faith comes from God through his Word, which is fact. If you were to look up the word fact in the dictionary, you would see that is defined as information or truth. We need to base our life on the truths we read in the bible. We need to embrace each word as information straight from God. In Hebrews 4:12, we are told that the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing the soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. My prayer is that as you work through each lesson, the power of Scripture comes alive in your life and empowers you for your journey. Prayer for the Journey: Prayer should be as natural as breathing. Powerful prayer is not determined by a position or posture. There is no secret formula for prayer. Prayer is simply a two-way conversation between us and God. When we pray, our mind and heart should be directed constantly toward Him. The words we say when we pray aren't nearly as important as the attitude of our heart, the life behind the prayer and the honesty of the conversation. Each lesson contains a section on prayer that serves as a guide to a more powerful prayer life. Truth for the Journey: We need to become one-truth believers. By that, I mean every time we hear the word of God, we should come away with one new truth that we can apply in our life. Many times, I have been 1
listening to a message when, suddenly, it is like God taps me on the shoulder and says, That one is for you! In this section, you will have the opportunity to pinpoint the one truth from the study that impacted you most. Steps for the Journey: We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that it is enough to study and know the bible. God is much more interested in how much of the bible we do than how much we know. In other words, we need to not only hear and listen to God s word, we need to apply it. James 1:22 says, But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. This section will help you make a specific plan for putting feet to or applying the biblical truths that you learn. Reflections on the Journey: We are busy people, aren t we? It is so easy to rush through a time of prayer or bible study in order to get to the next task on our list. This section of the study will help you take the time to reflect on God s truth. You will learn how to examine, evaluate and record thoughts, truths, and life changes. Over time, these reflections will help you keep your glance on the circumstances and your gaze on God. Power for the Journey: Our greatest source of power for life is God's Word--but only if we saturate our lives with it. Psalm 119:105 says that the word of God is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. In other words, God s word brings light into the dark places. Through Scripture, we will find direction for tomorrow and discover God s plan for life. This section will help you make a plan to memorize Scripture. You may need to start by memorizing only one verse per week. That s fine! Just start! God will honor your step of obedience. Women are so creative! It has been great to hear from many women who are participating in my online bible studies. Several groups of women do this study over the phone! I am not kidding! Friends who live all over the country have found a way to connect through bible study. They participate in a weekly conference call during which they discuss the lesson in detail. During the week, they email or call each other with prayer requests or a new perspective that has come because of that day s study. Other women have created on-line study groups in which they work through the study via e-mail. The point is that if you truly want to study God s Word, you will find a way to do it! If you are planning to lead a group, let me offer some additional thoughts that might be helpful to you: Begin with prayer Any bible study must be bathed in prayer. Pray as you prepare to lead your small group. Pray for God to send the right women to your group. Pray as you first work through the study on your own. The truth of God s Word is before you and the Holy Spirit will reveal new truth and give you fresh insight as you pray. Do the study on your own If you are using this study for a your own quiet time, work through each lesson at your own pace, straining each word through prayer with an open and teachable heart. If you are leading a small group, I encourage you to complete the study on your own before leading your group. God will speak to you, equipping you to share the truths you have discovered in your own personal study. Remember, you cannot lead where you have not been. Share your story 2
Light for the Journey Winter Newsletter, Friends. Lesson 20081 I Need a Friend Welcome to Light for the Journey and thank you for enrolling in this study of relationships and the principles of friendship. A couple of thoughts on friendship: When you're in a jam, good friends will bring you bread with peanut butter on it. A friend is one who knows all about you and loves you anyway. Friendship is a rare and precious commodity in our world today. We all long for friendship simply because God created us for relationships and friendships. We need each other. In my own life, I have discovered many hindrances to being a good friend and to cultivating friendships. I don't have the time or energy. I have been hurt by someone and don't want to risk being hurt again. It is hard to find someone who really understands where I am and who I am. I am afraid to trust. The list is endless. Consider this thought. The world will know we are fully devoted followers of Christ by how we love and relate to each other. I really believe our friendships can and should illustrate the personality and character of God. As we study the lives of two amazing women, Naomi and Ruth, we will learn nine keys to being a good friend and to finding good friends. What materials do you need? A bible, pen or pencil, a journal (a spiral notebook is fine) and an open heart. The study is divided into five days and can be completed at your own pace by doing it all in one day, over five days or a week. The goal is to keep going! You may find it especially difficult to complete this study. Satan does not want you to learn the truth that God is enough for every need in your life. Don t give up! Don t quit! God will honor your commitment. I Need a Friend is also perfect for small group study. Do you have neighbors who would love to get together for a weekly bible study? How about one of your small groups at church? Call a few friends each week and do the study via phone or reach out to online friends and complete this study together. Here's the plan: Facts for the Journey: the main Bible Study facts and principles Prayer for the Journey: a week-by-week plan for learning to pray simply, effectively, powerfully Truth for the Journey: pinpoint the one truth that stood out and impacted you most this week Steps for the Journey: make a specific plan to put feet to or apply the truths you have learned Reflections on the Journey: examine, evaluate and record thoughts, truths, and life changes Power for the Journey: make a plan to memorize Scripture John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this; that one lay down his life for his friends. Record John 15:13 in your journal. Commit this verse to memory and ask the Father to give you His truths about friendship and how to cultivate healthy relationships in your life. Pray, thanking God for His written Word. Ask Him to reveal the very unique message that He has for you in this study. Read the passage listed 2 or 3 times. Then make the deliberate choice to fix your thoughts on each word and each phrase as you read it. Don't let your mind wander but focus only on God's truth and let everything else fall away. Your mind is set and you are ready to begin Day 1.
Light for the Journey Friends. Lesson 1 Friendship is the springboard to genuine love and the foundation for each healthy relationship. In his book, The Broken Heart, Dr. James J. Lynch shows that lonely people live significantly shorter lives than the general population. We need each other. We need friends. Friendship has many levels. While we only see some friends occasionally, we may have soul mates with whom we share everything. Studies prove that lonely people live significantly shorter lives than the general population. There are also seasons of friendships that change with the seasons of our life, but the fact remains that we all need friends and we need different kinds of friendships. Jesus needed friends and placed great value on relationships. The Bible tells us that Jesus spent much of His time deepening relationships with a few - not the crowds. His teachings are filled with practical suggestions on how to be a friend and how to have healthy relationships. One of most beautiful portraits of friendship is found in the book of Ruth. It is the story of Naomi, a godly woman, a wife and the mother of two married sons. Naomi's husband, Elimelech, died as did both of her sons. Naomi and her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, were alone with no food or money and no certainty of what the future held. Naomi wanted to return to Bethlehem, her homeland. On the way, Naomi suddenly stopped and encouraged Ruth and Orpah to return to their homes in Moab where they could have the chance to marry again and live happy lives. Both Ruth and Orpah protested but Naomi was insistent. Orpah kissed Naomi and returned home, but Ruth would not leave Naomi. Ruth 1:16-18 But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her. Noami was amazed at the love and loyalty of Ruth. In Bethlehem, Ruth met and eventually married Boaz. They had a son name Obed who later became the grandfather of King David. Ruth, a Gentile from Moab, became part of the family line of Jesus. Why? Because Ruth was loyal and a true friend. Wouldn't you like to have a friend like that? Wouldn't you like to be a friend like that? We are going to examine the lives of Naomi and Ruth to discover nine steps to a healthy friendship. 1. Time Ruth told Naomi, "Where you go I will go. Where you stay I will stay." She was willing to commit her life to Naomi in friendship. Emerson writes, "We take care of our health, we lay up money, we make our rooms tight, and our clothing sufficient, but who provides wisely that he shall not be wanting in the best property of all - friends?" True friendship takes time, consistent cultivation and a choice to make that friendship a priority. Friendship doesn't just happen. Those who love deeply and are deeply loved - no matter how busy - have developed a lifestyle and a way of dispensing time that allows them to have close friends. Time spent together in friendship creates a memory bank. Time is a priceless gift and powerful communicator of love. When we choose to give 30 minutes of time, we are choosing to give 30 minutes of life. The gift of time takes purposeful planning and many times requires sacrifice. Ruth was willing to sacrifice her agenda. In a "quick-fix" world, friendship still takes time. The depth of the friendship depends upon the investment of time that we can make, and are willing to make. I have a friend named Michelle who is the perfect example of the fact that friendship takes time. Michelle and I knew each other because our children were in school together and were both involved in the women's ministry of our church. We were not especially close until our paths began to cross more frequently and we became friends. Then it happened. During a huge crisis in my life, a battle with clinical depression, we moved into the neighborhood where Michelle lived. She and her husband, Jay, were in the process of selling their house and moving to a larger home that would better meet the needs of their family. But when Michelle realized that we were moving four doors down from them, she made a choice. Michelle made the deliberate choice to walk with me through one of the darkest times of my life and today, her friendship is still beyond measure in my life. Friendship takes time. 2