Success for Living Ephesians 5:18-21 Sunday, February 7, 2016 Ephesians 5:18 21 (NKJV) 18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. When home is ruled according to God s Word, said Charles Haddon Spurgeon, angels might be asked to stay with us, and they would not find themselves out of their element. The trouble is that many homes are not governed by God s Word nor His Spirit even homes where the members are professing Christians and the consequences are utterly tragic to say the least. Instead of angels being guests in some homes, it seems that demons are the masters. Too many marriages end in the divorce court, and nobody knows how many husbands and wives are emotionally divorced even though they share the same address. The poet William Cowper called the home the only bliss of Paradise that hast survived the Fall, but too many homes are an outpost of hell instead of a parcel of paradise. The answer is the Holy Spirit of God! It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we can walk in harmony as husbands and wives, parents and children, and employers and employees ~ All of which Paul deals with in the remainder of this chapter and the beginning of the next. The unity of the people of God that Paul described (Eph. 4:1 16) must be translated into daily living if we are to enjoy the harmony that is a foretaste of heaven on earth. Be filled with the Spirit is God s command, and He expects us to obey. The command is plural, so it applies to all Christians and not just to a select few. The verb is in the present tense being filled or keep on being filled so it is an experience we should enjoy and look forward to constantly and not just on special occasions, certain Christian gatherings or services. And the verb is 1
passive. We do not fill ourselves but permit the Spirit to fill us. The verb fill has nothing to do with contents or quantity, as though we are empty vessels that need a required amount of spiritual fuel to keep going. In the Bible, filled means controlled by. OK - so let s get this by restating the verse - being, or keep on being controlled by the Holy Spirit in your life. Now, we re going to be moving on into husband/wife relationships, parent/child relationships and employer/employee relationships in the following verses. So before that topic rises to the surface, Paul admonishes us to be under the control of the Holy Spirit. Now let me ask you to ponder over the last argument you had with your spouse, your child or parent or the ill feelings you had about your boss, foreman, coworker or employee. Now ask yourself how might that incident have been different if you or both of you were completely under the control of the Holy Spirit. Would you have used the same tone, the same words, the same body language? Would you have had the same thoughts and attitude? How might that experience have been different? Verse 17 says Ephesians 5:17 (NKJV) 17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 1) Then to do or be otherwise is unwise. To not be under the control of the Holy Spirit is UNWISE 2) The will of the Lord is... The will of He Who chose you before the foundations of the world, the will of He Who redeemed you with His own precious blood upon the cross, the will of He Who has sealed you, guaranteed your membership in the family of God, is that you constantly be under the influence of the Holy Spirit in your life. If that were the case fewer Christian marriages would end in divorce. If that were the case, fewer children would rebel against their parents in Christian homes, if that were the case employer/employee relationships would be greatly enhanced. You might feel downtrodden right now because of the circumstances of your life. But wait. DON T - because it s not too late! You argue, well that marriage has officially ended. It may well have, but it s never too late to begin to be under the control of the Holy Spirit in your 2
life and that the remainder of your life be a glorious testimony to the Lord who saved you. Relationships can be repaired, broken lives can be restored. They may never again be what they could have been, but if you live in the would have been, could have been, should have been instead of what the Lord has for you today, you will never see or enjoy the victory that is yours by being under the influence of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. Here s the language of those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit rather than the human nature - v.19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord Please remember that in the processes of putting off the old man and putting on the new we ve Ephesians 4:25 (NKJV)...(put) away lying, Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, (his spouse, his child/parent, his coworker or boss) for we are members of one another. Also we ve Ephesians 4:31 (NKJV) Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from (us), with all malice. So it s no wonder that the language of the Christian, who is under the influence of the Holy Spirit in his/her life is so different. Warren Wiersbe said ~ The baptism of the Spirit means that I belong to Christ s body. The filling of the Spirit means that my body belongs to Christ. You probably realize the necessity of being under the influence of the Holy Spirit when one preaches a Sunday morning sermon, Or when a Billy or Franklin Graham, or a Greg Laurie leads a crusade at a colosseum, Or when you are witnessing to someone whether it be on a street corner, gas station or over a cup of coffee. But that same necessity of being under the influence of the Holy Spirit is as every bit essential for two sinners, saved by grace, living under the same roof. Listen to Paul express this thought to the Church at Galatia. Galatians 5:22 26 (NKJV) 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Let s think of it this way. When I am under the influence of the Holy Spirit I have and express... 3
Love instead of animosity Joy instead of bitterness Peace instead of anxiety Patience instead of quarrelsomeness Kindness instead of vindictiveness Goodness instead of maliciousness Faithfulness instead of inconsistency Gentleness instead of unkindness Self-control instead of self-indulgence And then Paul went on to say... Against such there is no law. In other words, you can t find anybody who will find fault with this. Then he explains how this transformation of attitude is accomplished - - - v.24 And those who are Christ s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Self-effacement - it s an attitude of me who? OR as we read in Philippians Philippians 2:3 (NKJV) Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Galatians, you ll remember went on to say... v.25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (26) Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. I have witnessed a lot of people who want to see their marriage restored. They want a Biblical marriage and home life. They want to have peace and harmony in the home, but at the same time they are their own worst enemy because they are afraid to say no to self, let go and give the reigns of their life, not their spouses life, their life, completely over to the Holy Spirit, to be under His influence. Thus it never happens! Their marriage is a mediocre one at the very best, but chances are it will end in a horrible crash. Before we grapple with the end of the chapter about husbands and wives, we need to be reminded how this chapter began - Ephesians 5:1 2 (NKJV) 1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. 4
In order for a marriage to work, a home to function properly, we need to be godly, INDIVIDUALLY. v.2 says we need to be Christlike. Christlike in our love towards others. Christlike love is sacrificial And a Christlike, sacrificial lifestyle, is a sweet-smelling aroma to God - OR - is a delight to God. Ok, let s put some of these verses together as we move forward in our text. Let s pick up some of these pieces of the puzzle and put them together so we can get the whole picture. (v.18) - Being continually filled with the Holy Spirit and under His influence is both (v.17) - wise and the expressed will of the Lord. It can t get any more clear than when you read scripture and it says understand what the will of the Lord is and then it spells it out for you. J. Vernon McGee in his eloquent, yet country fashion said ~ Why don t you drive into the filling station and ask God to fill you up? The old gas tank is empty. You and I don t have anything worthwhile in ourselves. We need to go to Him and tell Him that we are empty and that we need the filling of the Holy Spirit so we can live for Him. We need to see that it is an impossibility by ourselves but that He can do it through us. Here s what the language of the Spirit-controlled life sounds like - (v.19) speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord Now, the attitude of the Spirit-controlled life - (v.20) giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ Jon Courson wrote ~ No wonder David was discouraged. He and his men returned from fighting the Amalekites only to discover not only that their town had been burned by their enemies, but that their wives and kids had been taken hostage. This is your fault, David, said his men. You took us away from here. And so angry were they that they wanted to kill him. What did David do? He encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6). He sang songs. He wrote psalms. He began to praise and worship. As a result, he rallied his men once again and they recovered all that was lost. Had David remained in his depressed state, not only would he have been rendered ineffective, but the women and children would have remained 5
captive. And so will you until you begin to worship. God s will is that you be free and nothing will free you from the tyranny of your own situation like worship. You will be profoundly blessed and amazingly productive whenever you give thanks to God for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now here s the crowning statement of this paragraph that Wiersbe titled Walking in Wisdom - Ephesians 5:21 (NKJV) 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. This statement is used to introduce each of the following situations... Husbands and Wives; Parents and Children and Masters and Servants Submission: Submission has nothing to do with the order of authority, but rather governs the operation of authority, how it is given and how it is received. Often Jesus tried to teach His disciples not to throw their weight around, or seek to become great at somebody else s expense. Unfortunately, they failed to learn the lesson, and even at the Last Supper they were arguing over who was the greatest (Luke 22:24 27). When Jesus then washed their feet, He taught them that the greatest is the person who uses his authority to build up people and not, like the Pharisees, to build up his authority and make himself important. Let me close with this - Barns claims that Paul - - - enforces this duty of submission, however, he enjoins on others to use their authority in a proper manner, and gives solemn injunctions that there should be no abuse of power. Particularly he enjoins on husbands the duty of loving their wives with all tenderness (ver. 25 33); on fathers, the duty of treating their children so that they might easily obey them (chap. 6:4); and on masters, the duty of treating their servants with kindness, remembering that they have a Master also in heaven; (chap. 6:9). The general meaning here, Says Barns, is that Christianity does not break up the relations of life, and produce disorder, lawlessness, and insubordination; but that it will confirm every proper authority, and make every just yoke lighter. In verse 10 of this same chapter Paul said Ephesians 5:10 (NKJV) 10 (find) out what is acceptable to the Lord. And now in verse 21 he lays it out for us, just in case we didn t find it... Ephesians 5:21 (NKJV) 21 (submit) to one another in the fear of God. 6
Walking in harmony in our marriages is based upon the key component of submission. Scripture talks about marriage in such a profoundly simple and simply profound way. You don t need countless books, seminars, or videos dealing with marriage. The Word spells out simply and succinctly how it is to work. Chapter 4 told us that our walk is to be in humility and meekness. There is no room in the Church, in the Home for an attitude of My Way or the Highway In order for the church to succeed or the marriage to succeed we are to submit to each other in the fear of Christ. 7