Message for THE LORD S DAY EVENING, June 12, 2011 Christian Hope Church of Christ, Plymouth, North Carolina by Reggie A. Braziel, Minister When You Lose Someone You Love Genesis 23: 1-6 ; 17-20 My message this evening will be brief and to the point. But it is a message I pray God s Spirit will work through to bring comfort and peace to all our hearts. For our scripture text, please turn with me to the twenty third chapter of Genesis. READ: GENESIS 23:1-6 and 17-20 P R A Y E R ****************************************************************** I N T R O D U C T I O N There are MANY WAYS to experience A LOSS in life:...there s the sense of loss we feel when an old friend moves away....there s the incredible loss one experiences in a divorce....there s the sense of loss parents feel when their kids grow up and leave an empty next behind....there s the loss one feels when a favorite pet dies....there s also the sense of loss one feels when they sell the house they have lived in for years....we even feel a sense of loss when an old familiar business closes its doors for the last time...or...when one of our favorite TV shows airs its last episode. But as painful and heartbreaking as those losses may be, none of them brings the same degree of grief and sorrow as when we LOSE SOMEONE WE LOVE IN DEATH.
Especially painful are those first minutes and hours after our loved one leaves us. The unbearable sense of grief, that smothering sense of emptiness, the tears, the heartache. YOU REMEMBER, because you have been there. And so have I. But then, almost as if someone flipped a switch...those early moments of intense sorrow gave way to AN ONSLAUGHT of IMPORTANT MATTERS that needed to be tended to quickly. *Phone calls to make to FAMILY and FRIENDS. *Funeral Arrangements to be made. *A Funeral Service to plan. *Pall Bearers to be chosen *Burial Clothes to pick out. *A Casket and Vault to be selected *A grave to be dug. *Flowers to Order. That mad flurry of activity seemed to temporarily take our minds off our intense pain. But the biggest challenge of all begins 48-72 hours after our loved one leaves us...and that is the CHALLENGE OF GOING ON WITH OUR LIVES WITHOUT THEM. How DO we do we go on WHEN WE LOSE SOMEONE WE LOVE? I think we can learn a great deal from this wonderful account of Abraham when he lost his dear wife, Sarah. As we go back to our text in GENESIS 23, the first thing you notice is...
I. SARAH DIED verses 1, 2a Sarah lived to a hundred and twenty-seven years old. She died at Kiriath Arba (that is Hebron) in the land of Canaan... The Story of Abraham and Sarah The story of Abraham and Sarah is truly one of the great Love Stories in the Bible. In fact, one cannot think of Abraham without also thinking of Sarah. The two were inseparable! They spent the early years of their marriage in a place called Ur, which is located in the southeastern part of modern-day Iraq. It was just the two of them in those early years. They had no children, not because they didn t want any, but because Sarah was unable to bear children. In time, God commanded Abraham to move his family to a new location, known only to God Himself. Sarah never asked questions or showed any doubt about Abraham s sanity. BY FAITH she simply followed her husband. Like every married couple, Abraham and Sarah had their ups and downs. There were those two times when Abraham lied about his relationship with Sarah, telling Abimilech she was his sister instead of his wife, just to save his own hide. And of course there was that awful riff Abraham brought into the marriage when he fathered a child through Sarah s handmaiden, Haggar. But years later, when Abraham and Sarah were old enough to be great-grandparents, GOD brought a miracle baby into their lives. They named him ISAAC, which meant laughter. If you men became a father at the age of one hundred or you women became a mother for the first time at age ninety, you would LAUGH too wouldn t you? The greatest test of Abraham and Sarah s faith in God and love for each other came later when God asked Abraham to take Isaac to Mt. Moriah and offer him as a sacrifice.
Abraham and Sarah went through so much together. And now Sarah s earthly life has ended and Abraham is left all alone. I have to be honest with you. Every time I read through the Book of Genesis and I come to this account of Sarah s death, my heartaches for Abraham. 1. Ask anyone what is the most painful death anyone can experience and you ll likely get some argument. *Some will say the most painful death is to lose a a child. *Some will say the most painful death is to lose a loved one to suicide. *Others will say the most painful death is to lose a loved one to murder. 2. Perhaps some of you have experienced these kinds of losses and you know how excruciatingly painful those losses were. 3. But those of you who have lost your mate would probably agree that is about the most painful experience you have ever been through. Why is the loss of a mate particularly painful? Because according to God s word, when we marry someone we become one flesh with that person. And when our mate dies in a very real sense, a big part of us dies right along with them. 4. Sadly, many husbands and wives spend their final months or years in declining physical or mental health. And the quality of life they enjoyed together for so many years is sadly missing in those twilight years. 5. The scriptures don t give us any indication that SARAH was in declining health her last few months or years. Verse 1 says, Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. And verse 2 simply says, Sarah died. 6. All indications are God blessed these two faithful people a quality
life right up to the very end and at the age of 127, Sarah simply passed from this life into eternity in her sleep. Well as you might imagine, Abraham did what any loving husband would do when he lost his dear wife. II. ABRAHAM GRIEVED verses 1, 2 Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. 1. Contrary to what some people believe, it is just as natural for a Christian to grieve when they lose someone they love as it is for someone who doesn t know Christ. *Joseph and his brothers grieved 40 days after their father died. *The Israelites wept for 30 days after the death of Moses. *David wept over the death of his son, Absalom, even after Absalom had tried to kill him. *Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus. Did you hear that? JESUS WEPT! Those are two of the most powerful words in the Bible. 2. GRIEVING is a natural part of life and death. GRIEVING doesn t mean we ve lost our faith or that our faith is weak. GRIEVING simply means we are hurting! 3. Max Lucado gives us this wonderful little piece
called TEARS. TEARS...those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes...creep down our cheeks and splash on the floor of our hearts. They are always present at such times. They should be, that s their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. TEARS drip, drop and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. TEARS tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to the darkest despair. most The principle is simple...when words are most empty, tears are apt. A TEAR STAIN on a letter says much more than the sum of all its words. A TEAR falling on a casket says what a spoken farewell never could. WHAT CAN SUMMONS a mother s compassion and concern more quickly than a tear on a child s cheek? What gives more support than a sympathetic tear on the face of a friend. When words are hard, tears speak clearly. (No Wonder They Call Him Savior, Max Lucado, pg. 106) 4. How is one supposed to express their grief? How long is one supposed to grieve? Well that varies from one person to the next. Each one of us has to work through the grieving process in our own way and in our own time. It is totally unreasonable to believe that everyone should grieve in the same way and for the same amount of time. 5. We make a terrible mistake when we make people feel as though they need to get on with their life just as soon as the funeral is over.
Illustration: I look back on it now and one of the biggest mistakes I made after the death of my dad was not giving myself enough time to grieve. I rushed right back into the pulpit the second Sunday after my dad s death, because I felt like I needed to prove to myself and everyone else that my faith was strong. Why, I even told myself, This is what my dad would want me to do. At first everything seemed OK, but about 3-4 years later it all caught up with me and I went into deep, dark depression and gave serious thoughts as to leaving the ministry. 6. The scriptures don t tell us how long Abraham grieved over Sarah s loss, but having lived with this precious woman for many decades...abraham didn t get over her loss over night. SARAH DIED ABRAHAM GRIEVED Thirdly... III. ABRAHAM LOOKED TO THE FUTURE READ----Verses 3-6 1. This is just a portion of a rather lengthy discourse between Abraham and Ephron the Hittite as they worked out a business deal on a plot of land upon which to bury Sarah. 2. Abraham only asked for THE TOMB...but Ephron offered to sell him the whole piece of land. This Piece of Land became an important piece of property for two reasons. For one, it became the Cemetery of the Great Patriarchs and Matriarchs of our Faith. SARAH...ABRAHAM...ISAAC...REBEKAH...LEAH...and JACOB were all buried on this land. BUT more importantly, this plot of Land became the Land of Promise God had been leading Abraham toward since
he and Sarah left Ur many years earlier! In the MIDST of his great loss, God had not forgotten Abraham. 3. There is a very valuable lesson here for you and me WHEN WE LOSE SOMEONE WE LOVE. Although we are never quite the same after a loved one dies...there comes a point where we have to go on with our own lives and start looking to the future. 4. Some people get stuck in the grieving process and simply stop living. Some people have this sense of guilt that if they move on with their life its as though they have forgotten or betrayed their deceased loved one. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, the best way to CELEBRATE the life of our deceased loved one is to live our own lives to the fullest in their honor and memory. 5. Abraham went on to live another 38 years after Sarah s death. He died at the ripe old age of 175. And although the scriptures tell us Abraham did marry a second wife by the name of Keturah, and even fathered six sons by her, I doubt that a day passed the rest of his life but what Abraham didn t think about his precious Sarah, the love of his life. CONCLUSION It is painful enough to LOSE A LOVED ONE once in a lifetime...
...but the harsh reality is, it is TERRIBLE PAIN we will experience more than once. But the wonderful promise we have from GOD is that each time WE WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH...we do not need to fear, because HE IS WITH US. BY FAITH in Him we press on without our precious loved one, until that day we reach that Land where Death will never take a loved one away from us ever again! by Rodney Belcher NEVER ALONE I feel you in the morning When at first I awake. Your thought is right here with me With each decision that I make. You had been around forever, Since the first breath that I took, Now I must go on alone But for your love I need not look. Cause by what you bestowed In our short time together, Will last inside my heart Forever and ever. Although you ve left...and now walk above. I m never really alone, I m wrapped inside your love. Enjoy now your long awaited reward, Feel the peace and rest in your eternal home. What you taught to me, will be taught to mine. Cause you still live on in me, even though you re gone.