What is Love? Part 1 By Mitchell Kuhn Heavenly Father, thank you very much for the time to gather together with your people. We re very grateful that you ve brought us here, given us a desire to know the truth, and given us the understanding of the scriptures. We appreciate all the trials that you are bringing, and we ask for more faith that we may appreciate them more, because we struggle, as you know, with all these things. Be with all those who are suffering and having all different sorts of health, financial, and/or family trials. Increase their faith to endure faithfully what you are sending. We ask all these things in Christ s name. Amen. Welcome everybody! We are back in our Wednesday night study, and as the Lord always does, he s taking us from topic to topic. It always seems to apply to what s going on in the body. The topic that has been on my mind a lot recently is What is love, and how does it operate inside of relationships? There has been a particular need recently. I know Mike and I have both been doing a good amount of marriage counseling, Mike more so than myself, but definitely it s been coming up a lot. We know that marriage is a symbol of Christ and the church, so those who are not married in the body are just as in need of the advice as those who are married, because we are all married to Christ and married to one another in the spirit. So we have to learn how to operate properly as a body of Christ in the spirit. We are going to go through Corinthians 13: 1-7. We are not going to get to all the verses tonight. We ll do about half of them and the rest will turn into Part Two. 1Co 13:1 (NKJV) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 1Co 13:2 (NKJV) And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1Co 13:3 (NKJV) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 1Co 13:4 (NKJV) Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 1Co 13:5 (NKJV) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 1Co 13:6 (NKJV) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 1Co 13:7 (NKJV) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
He said a lot right there! Basically, all of the scriptures, as we go through the different stories, bear out this process. As we live out our lives as God has written, we re going to live through every single one of these things. We re first going to not do it; we re going to do the opposite of what it says, and others are going to do the opposite to us. As you go through that process, you start to learn the incredible value of the love of God operating in you, and then He changes you to do it His way. As we are going through this, the thought that s been on my mind often is no one can be anywhere other than where they are today. So, where you are today is exactly the day that God wrote in the book for today. It can t be different, it can t be faster, it can t be slower; it is where it is. So the first step in love in being obedient to God is to understand He has worked everything to be as it should be in this exact circumstance, to learn the things we have to learn. When you are in that state of complaining against God, or railing against Him, blaming other people for what they are doing, you can t act in love because you re caught in the flesh, and you are just blaming, complaining and whining. But once we step back and say, Okay, the Lord has worked all of this. What is the proper biblical response to this circumstance? How should I be? And when that is in our mind, we can start to keep these commands, and things start to go a lot better, which the Lord works all those things. The first one is: love suffers long. It s the same word as patient. But patience is suffering for a long time. It s going through suffering properly. Suffers Long (patient) 2Pe 3:9 (NKJV) The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering (patient) toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. We should think like God as we deal with others in our life, whether we re married, single, whether we work or whatever our circumstance. We want others to come to repentance. That s our first and foremost goal. We don t want them to suffer just to suffer. We don t want to torment them or get revenge on them. We should want to say, Look, I m going to bear with you, so that in due time you can repent. That s a really important mindset, because the carnal mind doesn t think that way. It doesn t want to forgive, it doesn t want to let go; it wants vengeance. It s bad how the carnal mind operates. Act 9:15 (NKJV) But the Lord said to him, "Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine (speaking of Paul) to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel. Act 9:16 (NKJV) For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name's sake."
As we live by every word, this is the prophecy to us. The Lord will show us how many things we must suffer for his name. You suffer within your own self, and you also suffer for others. So don t be surprised when the Lord sends you people to love that are unlovable, difficult and a pain in your side. Look at what Christ dealt with. He lived his entire life with unconverted people. Not one of them understood everything anything! They didn t know who he was hardly, until after the spirit came and they were changed. Then they started to see it. So, just like Christ, until the spirit comes we are going to walk among a carnal people, and they are not going to treat us right. If we have the spirit of God, and we know better, then we have the higher calling to bear up with them, to be longsuffering until Christ be formed in them, which is exactly what Paul did to all those he ministered to. Eph 4:1 (NKJV) I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, Eph 4:2 (NKJV) with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, (Why do we have to bear with one another? Because we are difficult! We re a pain!) Eph 4:3 (NKJV) endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. He has to say this because the carnal mind is enmity against God. Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom. It will fight against God. It does not like him. It will persecute his prophets. It will give you a hard time. So, expect that; don t be surprised when it comes. And it is coming so that we can learn to be lowly, to be gentle, and to be long suffering. Just as a parent raises their children, so we have to raise one another. Kind Luk 6:35 (NKJV) But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; (And when he says lend, he doesn t mean just money. He means everything. Lend your time. Lend your affection. Lend your encouragement. And don t expect anything back because you are not going to get it for a while. Fruit trees take anywhere from two to seven years to bear fruit. So, if you re expecting immediate results when you do good to people you will be sorely disappointed, because sometimes it takes a long time, but it s worth it.) and your reward will be great, (When you love your enemies and do good, not expecting anything.) and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the unthankful and evil. We like to be kind to the thankful and the good, but He says, No, no, even the gentiles do that. Be kind to those who don t thank you. Be kind to those who mistreat you, don t appreciate you, and who don t understand how much you care for them. Those are the ones you really need to be kind to. Luk 6:36 (NKJV) Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.
Don t expect people to change right away. Give them space to repent. Give them a little bit of truth, and leave them alone. Recognize how hard it is to overcome the things they are dealing with. I found that one of the roots of not being merciful is not understanding that that person can t be anywhere other than where they are. God has made it so they are trapped there. When you think about that you go, Wow, I could be in the exact same position. Let me help them out of that. Sometimes it s being patient and kind. Sometimes it is a sharp rebuke, but don t go there quickly. Be slow to judge. Wait as long as you can to have to be hard on people. Rom 2:1 (NKJV) Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. He s just saying, Take the plank from your own eye before you go reaching for your brother s. Contemplate yourself first. Rom 2:2 (NKJV) But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. Rom 2:3 (NKJV) And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Rom 2:4 (NKJV) Or do you despise the riches of His goodness (kindness), forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? Think about that for a minute. The Lord knows every thought we have every day, all the time. We know we think a lot of bad stuff before we take our thoughts captive. He doesn t kill us; he gives us some discipline. He makes it hard, but He could make it a lot worse. He is being very merciful, and patient, applying just enough pressure to keep us moving, but not too far. We should be the same way with each other, having high standards, striving for the kingdom, provoking one another to love and good works, but you should be sensitive in how you do that. Don t push too hard. Just be kind. Rom 2:5 (NKJV) But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, Rom 2:6 (NKJV) who "WILL RENDER TO EACH ONE ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS": So when we are in that stage of judging others, being hypocritical, being harsh saying, How could you; I would never do that. We are just storing up wrath for ourselves.
The Lord s going to say, I ll show you how, and we get put in our place. Then we say, Lord, I m sorry; I ll be more merciful. That s in our book. We have to go through that and expect others to have to go through that before their heart will be softened. Eph 4:31 (NKJV) Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Why did He have to say that? Because that is what we are going to be full of. We don t like the plan. We re frustrated with others. We want them to be different, and we want them to change right now. And so we are full of all this bitterness, wrath, and clamor. The Lord says, Just be quiet, calm down, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. So, if we are not tenderhearted and forgiving towards others, it s because we don t understand how much we have been forgiven, and how messed up we all are in our own rights. The more we stop and think about that, we are much more patient with others, because we know we need patience from God, just as we need patience from those around us. We need mercy. Eph 4:32 (NKJV) And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Luk 7:47 (NKJV) Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little." We all have a lot that needs to be forgiven. Some of us just don t realize it yet. Does not envy A big part of envying is not understanding sovereignty, understanding that every person gets just want they need for their life to get into the kingdom. So, if you are going to start envying others, and start comparing yourself, you are basically saying, God, you kind of messed the plan up, and you gave them too much and me not enough. You re really mad at God. We all do it. Everyone does. We have to come to accept that our book can t be any different than it is. That s what we need, and it s the exact part that God wants us to play. The more we fight it (it s hard kicking against the pricks ) it just keeps getting more difficult until we surrender to it, and then things get better. You can have contentment. You can have joy. You can rejoice with others in whatever they have been given. Act 7:9 (NKJV) "And the patriarchs, becoming envious, sold Joseph into Egypt So what was it that caused Joseph s brothers to be so horrible to him and to throw him into the pit to be sold into Egypt? They envied him. He had the coat of many colors.
They didn t say, We re happy for you brother that you ve been blessed by our father. No, they envied him. We will envy others in our own time, and others will envy us. Jas 4:1 (NKJV) Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? Jas 4:2 (NKJV) You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. Jas 4:3 (NKJV) You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. This is telling us that this is exactly what we are going to do. We are going to fight in our minds. We re going to fight with others. We re going to complain and whine. Then we are not going to ask, but if we do, we re going to ask wrongly. Through that process we learn to ask properly; to be patient, and to be content with our lot in life. It is not natural to be content with what you ve been given. It s natural to always want more, or want it to be different. It s a miracle to be truly content in where you ve been placed. Mat 27:17 (NKJV) Therefore, when they had gathered together, Pilate said to them, "Whom do you want me to release to you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?" Mat 27:18 (NKJV) For he knew that they had handed Him over because of envy. The more we become like Christ, the carnal people around us will envy us, and they are going to give us a hard time. And it is also going to happen in our own minds. Our old man hates the new man. There s going to be a war in our heavens. But the more we can overcome that, as God gives us that ability, we can go to the cross so we can understand that that s the will of the Father. It s not pleasant. It still hurts. Dying daily is painful, but at least we know we are doing the will of God, and it has a good result in the end. That s what gets us through the tough process. Does not parade itself Not vain Not boastful Does not brag So this one ties back into envy. When we re boastful, vain, and bragging, we provoke others to envy. We don t want to do that. We have to be careful what we say and when, plus what we share and who we share it with, because you don t want to provoke other people to envy. Sometime just being a light in your own way will provoke envy in the old man, but don t make it worse. Try to be subtle, humble, quiet, and let others praise you. Pro 27:1 (NKJV) Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Pro 27:2 (NKJV) Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. That s hard, because we all naturally like to talk about ourselves. It s taking those thoughts captive and saying, Nope, I m not going to do it. If the Lord wants the glory, He will cause others to acknowledge that. The only time Paul talked about himself is when he had to defend his ministry. He had to say, Look, here s the fruit I ve born so you guys could see. But he was forced into it because of the accusations. That s what we do. Rom 12:3 (NKJV) For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. Again, why does He say, Don t think more highly of yourself, more highly than you aught, because we are going to think more highly of ourselves than we aught. If we can wait for others to praise us, and for the fruit to come, then it will be known that the glory of God is working there, and we won t think too highly of ourselves. Dan 4:30 (NKJV) The king spoke, saying, "Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for a royal dwelling by my mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?" Look at what I did! Dan 4:31 (NKJV) While the word was still in the king's mouth, a voice fell from heaven: "King Nebuchadnezzar, to you it is spoken: the kingdom has departed from you! We re all going to do the exact same thing. We glory in what we call our strength. It s the Lord s, not ours. And then, He will take it from us. That is what happens here in Daniel 4:32-33. Dan 4:32 (NKJV) And they shall drive you from men, and your dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field. They shall make you eat grass like oxen; and seven times shall pass over you, until you know that the Most High rules in the kingdom of men, and gives it to whomever He chooses." When you re crushed and humbled, your plans fall apart. It makes you acutely aware of all the reasons you had success before. The Lord just made it work. He gave you health. He gave you opportunity. He gave you favor with people. HE does it! And when it s all going so well, you just forget that it is the Lord that s making it work. Then, when He makes it fall apart, you re like, Wow, yeah! He gives it to whomever He wants.
Dan 4:33 (NKJV) That very hour the word was fulfilled concerning Nebuchadnezzar; he was driven from men and ate grass like oxen; his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair had grown like eagles' feathers and his nails like birds' claws. We realize we re a beast. That s what that s saying. We realize we re just a carnal pile of dust that the Lord has made what He wants it to be. It s a very painful process to realize that, but it s also very good because now, like Job in the end, we can have double restored to us in the spirit, and a degree of prosperity in the flesh, as much as is expedient. And we won t be puffed up, because we ll know that the Most High rules in the kingdom of men, and gives it to whomever He pleases. Is not puffed up 1Co 4:6 (NKJV) Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively transferred to myself and Apollos for your sakes, that you may learn in us not to think beyond what is written, that none of you may be puffed up on behalf of one against the other. If it s based upon my thoughts, my opinions, my abilities, then I m better than you. I think this is the right way. But when it s based upon the scriptures, we re all just submissive to that, and you re just pointing to the higher authority. Then no one is above anyone. You re just saying, Hey, that s what the Word says. 1Co 4:7 (NKJV) For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? If any of us has knowledge, or something to say, where does that come from? From God who shares it in the scriptures. What do you have to boast of? If He chose to put it in your hand, so what, it s His, not yours. So, who are we to think we are even. But it s not natural to think that way, until He makes you put your face in the dust for a while, and you grow your eagle claws. You realize you re a beast. Then you know. Col 2:18 (NKJV) Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, Col 2:19 (NKJV) and not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body, nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God.
There s a process to discern truth. It s the sum of the Word. It s rightly dividing. It s done through the body of Christ, the proper Biblical process of a multitude of counselors. If we try to do it by ourselves in isolation, and get all puffed up, then it doesn t work. You have to hold fast to the head and the process that the head has been given. As some have said in the body many times, we re not Christ individually; we re Christ collectively as a body. You can t be Christ all by yourself. You have to have connection and function with the brethren. The reason that s so hard is because it requires a lot of love. You ve got to bear with, forgive, love, and be merciful and kind, because we are a mess in some ways. Where the trough is clean, there is no increase of the oxen. But if the trough is dirty, the oxen are eating; they re working. If there s going to be work going on in our midst and a growing together, there s going to be iron sharpening iron, some difficulties, some disagreements and sparks flying. We have to be willing to pay that price to get the prize. 1Co 5:1 (NKJV) It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles that a man has his father's wife! 1Co 5:2 (NKJV) And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. So love is not just, Hey, let s just all love each other and get along. It requires discipline sometimes. If any one of us is walking in disobedience and immorality, whether it is physically speaking or with false doctrine, we can t be puffed up and say, We just all love each other; we just all get along, and that s okay. No, you have to follow the proper, patient, kind biblical process, which eventually leads to some strong words and some judgment. That comes in time. You don t hasten to that, but you have to do it when it s necessary. It s just as wrong to be angry and impatient when you shouldn t be, as it is to not be angry when you should be. Like a parent; if a parent is never angry and never disciplines their kids, how good of a parent are they? Yet, the same thing, if they are always losing their head and screaming at their kids for every little thing, they re not a good parent either. It s that perfect balance. Does not behave rudely does not behave indecently 1Co 7:36 (NKJV) But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. The context here is a man who is with a woman, and he s starting to act improperly. He s starting to express those things that should only be expressed in a marriage relation. He s dealing with his sister in Christ. And Paul is saying; if that starts to happen, it s time for you to get married. But the command is; love does not behave indecently. It s saying, when you re walking in perfect obedience, you will not behave improperly towards anyone in the body of Christ, or anyone in the world, in any way.
1Co 12:23 (NKJV) And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, That s the same word, and it basically means your private parts. Those are covered with clothing. So this command is really saying, don t do what is inappropriate, don t expose things that shouldn t be exposed, don t talk about things that shouldn t be talked about. Sometimes you have to deal with the delicate parts, but do it in private. Do it in the proper way. Just as in a marriage relationship, or with a doctor. You don t go exposing those things to everybody. Even the carnal world has laws against doing that. It s telling us in the spirit, you act with decency. Act with care for one another, as we re dealing with these difficult things within us that are going to be exposed. Cover one another s sin, for it is best to not expose it and embarrass people. It would be very rude to do that. Love does not behave rudely. So that s where we are going to end tonight. Hopefully, we will be able to finish the next one in Part Two.