Richard Beck: Sabbath Hospitality Vulnerability a conversation series for Small Groups Spring 2016 This Series was assembled by Ryan Porche, Small Groups Minister for the Southwest Church of Christ With contributions from: Dr. Richard Beck (www.experimentaltheology.blogspot.com) Dr. Dustin Hahn, West Texas A&M University
Richard Beck Week#1 Sabbath Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: Welcome! We re beginning a new conversation series based on the content Dr. Richard Beck presented at Southwest January 9-10, 2016. This 3-week series will explore three spiritual disciplines he referred to: the practices of Sabbath, Hospitality, and Vulnerability. Today, we begin with a conversation about Sabbath. Icebreaker: On a scale of 1-10 (10 being awesome), how would you rate your current ability to practice healthy rest and margin in your life? Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: To practice Sabbath is to set aside extended time for rest and worship. God designed us for rhythms of work and rest. As a result of this design, we become unhealthy (in many ways) when we neglect rest. When Richard spoke of Sabbath on January 9, he skipped right over convincing anyone of the need to practice Sabbath. Richard safely assumed we all agree Sabbath is important. So the question isn t Should we practice Sabbath? The question is: Why are so few actually practicing Sabbath? His answer in a word? Shame. In Richard s book, The Slavery of Death (available on Amazon), he describes two types of anxiety. The first type is called basic anxiety, and it refers to our essentials for survival food, water, clothing, shelter, rest, etc. The second type of anxiety is called neurotic anxiety. Neurotic anxiety refers to our deeper personal needs of self-worth and self-esteem. Here s the rub: our American culture defines personal significance by the measure of consumerism. Someone who is not working or busy is labeled lazy. In other words, American culture honors those who produce, and it shames those who do not. As a result, when we practice Sabbath our neurotic anxieties of self-worth are triggered and we experience shame. This shame can be self-inflicted, too. Discussion Question: In what ways have you experienced honor or shame for your accomplishments or lack thereof? In what ways have you struggled with putting too much pressure on yourself to produce? Scripture Reading: Have someone read Romans 12:1-2 aloud. Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: Jesus is not insurance for the afterlife. If Jesus is our Lord, then we are to seek a new way of life the Jesus Way of Life. And as Paul writes in this text, we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Much of what this renewing and transforming means is that our definitions and understandings of reality are replaced by Jesus and His Kingdom. Walter Brueggemann writes: In our own contemporary context of the rat race of anxiety, the celebration of Sabbath is an act both resistance and alternative. It is resistance because it is a
visible insistence that our lives are not defined by the production and consumption of commodity goods. In order to have any chance at growing in our practice of Sabbath, we must allow Jesus to redefine our understandings of success and significance. Furthermore, in order to survive the shame of Sabbath, we must cultivate communities of faith who will honor the practice of Sabbath and support each other. How does the practice of Sabbath serve to teach us about our true significance? How might God be calling you to opt-out of the American rat race? What is one step you could take this week towards growing in your practice of Sabbath? How can we as a Small Group honor each other in the practice of Sabbath? And how can we support each other through the shame of Sabbath?
Richard Beck Week#2 Hospitality Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: Welcome! We re continuing our conversation series based on the content Dr. Richard Beck presented at Southwest January 9-10, 2016. This 3-week series explores three spiritual disciplines he referred to: the practices of Sabbath, Hospitality, and Vulnerability. Today, we will talk about Hospitality. Icebreaker: Share an example of a time you were in a new environment and someone went out of their way to show you kindness. Scripture Reading: Have someone read Matthew 5:14-16 aloud. Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: We are the people of God. And while we are set apart as holy, we were never intended to be a closed group. We were meant to be a light for the world. Dr. Richard Beck has spent time investigating why churches often fail when trying to welcome new people. We all know we re supposed to be compassionate towards others, so the question becomes why aren t we? According to Richard, our emotions get in the way of compassion. Richard shared psychological research demonstrating how our emotional reactions to people unlike ourselves can sometimes result in an unconscious resistance and discomfort. For instance, when we encounter a person who causes us to feel disgust, our brain does not register them as humans. Rather, we subconsciously register them as objects. And this emotional reaction causes us to resist connection. In his study, negative dominance also surfaced as a factor. Negative dominance is the belief that when something unclean comes into proximity with something clean, the unclean object will ruin the clean object. There s even an example of this from scripture. Richard reminded us how the Pharisees asked Jesus why He spent so much time dining with tax collectors and sinners. Due to their negative dominance mindset, they could only imagine sinners defiling Jesus rather than Jesus purifying sinners. What is an example of a people group which evokes a strong emotional reaction in you? In what ways has the mentality of negative dominance limited your hospitality towards people unlike you? Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: So here are the big questions: how do we re-wire our affections towards those who are unlike us? And how do we overcome a mindset of negative dominance in order to flow with Christ s compassion? Richard suggested two practices. Richard called the first practice seeing. By seeing, Richard means training ourselves to acknowledge the God-given humanity of every person we encounter, regardless of the
emotions we experience. He used an example about a server in a restaurant. If the server for our meal is our friend, we are far more likely to extend grace if the server has an off-night. But if the server is not our friend, we stop eye contact, grow in our frustration, and may even reduce our tip. But what makes these stories different? Both servers were having an off-night. The difference is that one server was our friend and the other was not. We see them differently. Jesus calls us to a world without strangers, a world where we acknowledge every human being as significant and worthy of our kindness and compassion. Richard called the second practice approaching. Richard said we must regularly practice approaching and befriending someone we would not normally approach in order to allow God to re-wire our affections. No, this doesn t mean we have to become best friends, nor does it mean we must meet every need. It does mean we are to notice them, extend kindness, and learn more about them. Over time, God s Spirit uses these practices to transform our emotional responses. And we become more hospitable. Keep in mind: growing in our practices of compassion and hospitality is not a ministry or program. These practices are part of forming new habits and a new lifestyle around the Way of Jesus. What are examples of people you have trouble seeing? Who might God be calling you to approach and extend kindness? How do we balance healthy interaction with non-believers without becoming reckless? Besides seeing and approaching, what additional practices might help us grow in hospitality? What next step could you take this week in light of all we ve discussed?
Richard Beck Week#3 Vulnerability Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: Welcome! Today, we finish our conversation series based on the content of Dr. Richard Beck. We have spoken about the practices of Sabbath and Hospitality. Today, we finish with the practice of Vulnerability. Icebreaker: Vulnerability is a very difficult practice. What would you say are some of the underlying fears which prevent someone from being vulnerable? Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: In our first conversation about the practice of Sabbath, we spoke about systems of honor and shame. Our American culture has its own ways of honoring and shaming one another according to its values. For example, our culture honors doctors and PhDs while shaming janitors and highway trash collectors. Our culture honors large, beautiful homes while shaming garage apartments. Our culture honors mothers who can excel in the workplace while simultaneously raising kids and keeping a clean house, but it shames mothers who stay at home. At its worst, our culture honors and shames people according to traits which are entirely beyond their control (skin color, family of origin, gender, disabilities, etc.). So here s Richard Beck s question: shouldn t the church be a place where we practice rehabilitative honor? Here s the truth: all of us have been shamed by the world. But the Kingdom of God has an entirely different system for honor and shame. So shouldn t the church be a community where our worldly shame can find healing honor? Sadly, it s all too easy for worldly systems of honor and shame to function just as well within our church family. How have you seen or experienced worldly systems of honor and shame operating within our church family? Scripture Reading: Have someone read 1 Corinthians 12:21-26 aloud. What does this text teach us about the Kingdom s system of honor and shame? What reason does this passage give for God giving equal honor to all? Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: Vulnerability is one practice which Richard observes to be opposite between American culture and the culture of the Kingdom. American culture values independence and achievement. Our culture honors those who solve their own problems and provide for their own needs. It shames those who are vulnerable by expressing needs and shortcomings. Sadly, this same mentality sneaks into our church, and it even sneaks into this Small Group. But here s the truth: there s no such thing as a person without need. We all have our story. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We all have our mistakes.
Think about it this way: how will we ever demonstrate the love of God to one another if we are never made aware of each other s needs? God s love loses its credibility when we are unable to demonstrate it for one another. A Christian community where everyone is fine is actually a dysfunctional family. And if we do not grow in our practice of vulnerability, we risk inviting new people into our dysfunction. This trend is something Richard has observed in churches looking to invite new people. The new people rarely feel as though they belong, because everyone is helping them and they are given no opportunity to help others. For Americans, it feels like shame. In what ways have you struggled to allow other people to help you? How have you experienced the love of God through the help of others? In what ways would your thinking need to shift in order to allow new people opportunities to help you? Read (or paraphrase) the Following Aloud: For the remainder of our time together, we re going to break into gender-specific groups for sharing and prayer. Richard provided a sample list of culturally defined failures which we struggle to talk about (listed on back photocopy for the group). Use this list to answer the following questions. Remember, everything shared here needs to be kept confidential. Finish your time of sharing with a prayer asking God to give us courage to grow in our practice of vulnerability, and for strength to treat everyone with Kingdom honor. Discussion Questions (using the list on the back): Which of these categories has impacted your life the most? Which of these have you struggled to share about because you have felt vulnerable and shameful? How can we better support you in this need?
Sample List of Failure / Shame: Financial Professional Relational Parental Emotional / Psychological Moral Failure Physical Debt; Keeping up with the Jones ; Financial needs & burdens we don t share; Etc. My job is less respectable; I stay at home; Unemployed; Stuck on the corporate ladder; Etc. Divorce; Loneliness; Marriage Struggles; Etc. My child s success reflects on me; Children who are disconnected from God and/or church; Comparing my child to other children; Comparing my parenting to what I see other posting about their parenting on Facebook; Etc. Mental illness; Anxiety; Depression; PTSD; Hormonal imbalances; Etc. Sins; Mistakes; Smoking; Drinking excessive alcohol; Drug abuse; Sexuality issues; Pornography addictions; Eating disorders; Etc. Self-conscious and/or ashamed of my physical appearance and/or physical fitness; Physical impairment; Disease; Etc. Sample List of Failure / Shame: Financial Professional Relational Parental Emotional / Psychological Moral Failure Physical Debt; Keeping up with the Jones ; Financial needs & burdens we don t share; Etc. My job is less respectable; I stay at home; Unemployed; Stuck on the corporate ladder; Etc. Divorce; Loneliness; Marriage Struggles; Etc. My child s success reflects on me; Children who are disconnected from God and/or church; Comparing my child to other children; Comparing my parenting to what I see other posting about their parenting on Facebook; Etc. Mental illness; Anxiety; Depression; PTSD; Hormonal imbalances; Etc. Sins; Mistakes; Smoking; Drinking excessive alcohol; Drug abuse; Sexuality issues; Pornography addictions; Eating disorders; Etc. Self-conscious and/or ashamed of my physical appearance and/or physical fitness; Physical impairment; Disease; Etc.