The Hateful Letter Question and Answer Session with Atarah, Christopher Carinci, Rachel Vertrees, Rabbi BenDonin and Gabbai Bnai Shalom Question: The first thing that Mr. Teague stated was that Atarah is not Jew and in his own words said that it's like calling yourself Mexican and you re not. What do you say about this? Rabbi BenDonin: That in its self is not correct. Membership in the Jewish family has never been limited by birth. It has always been open to all, and those who share the faith of this family may be a partner in faith with the children of Israel, but through faith, the proselyte / convert himself becomes one of the children of Israel, sharing fully in its heritage and its privileges and assuming its burdens and tribulations. In accepting the Jewish faith, the proselyte thus joins the Jewish people or nation. In accepting the religious duties of the present, and in assuming the spiritual mission of the future, he also ties himself to collective past. Atarah is one such proselyte Jew, expressing a desire to join the people of Israel a few years ago. A proselyte becomes B'nai Israel, a child of Israel, with the incumbent responsibilities. Her conviction is very real and has changed her, and her offspring's life. B'nai Israel will be and always has been hated by many for no reason and Atarah has already shared in this suffering. Atarah has exposed herself and her offspring to persecution and even death by choosing the join our people. The following criteria had to be fulfilled before Atarah was considered a Jewish proselyte: Lived a predominately Jewish lifestyle for a over 1 year. Come to the point where she fully identified as a Jew. Underwent formal conversion training which inclusws: Jewish History, Jewish Thought, Jewish Lifestyle, Jewish Prayer, and Messianic Jewish understanding of G-D. She underwent a formal review by a Beit Din (3 Rabbis). Formally declared to join B'nai Israel. She can recite the Shema & V'havta. Underwent mikvah (immersion). The process took Atarah 12 ½ intense months. Several books had to be read and understood. At any time, she could have withdrawn without question. If there were any uncertainty about her decision, she would have been discouraged from converting. The Beit Din would not have
approved a person desiring conversion if they deemed the person was not ready, did not have a Jewish identification, or was insincere in their desire. I found Atarah to be my most devoted student. Her time with and understanding of the Torah was impressing. I am proud to call her a Jew. Question: Mr. Teague stated that you are not Atarah Shalom. What is this about? Atarah: I legally changed my name many years ago. Chris: Atarah's legal name is as much Atarah Shalom as it is Carinci, because both have been legally changed and registered with the state. When someone gets married and takes on their spouse's name, you naturally call that person by their new name. To not do so would be disrespectful, and that applies to first and middle names, as well.
Question: Why did you change your name? Atarah: I changed my name because I wanted to. It is a Hebrew name and I like it. I am not running from G-d by changing my name. G-d knows who I am and He loves me! Question: Mr. Teague said that you should not be allowed to speak in the church or synagogue. Does anyone want to comment on this? Atarah: To be honest, I would rather not speak in a church or synagogue. Chris: I think the idea of women subjugation is more of a cultural issue than a faith one. You have to consider what type of environment he was raised in when he was young: his mother would not drive a car. She believed in many historically traditional ideals; don't dance, don't play cards- live a very simple life. You can see this type of cultural mindset throughout history, and in places like the Latin Catholic church where women today still have to cover their heads and remain silent. There are even regions of the world where women are considered a man's property more than their own person. When you're viewing the world through one of these cultures, the tendency is to project your values onto the framework of society, and when the actions of others do not necessarily line up with what you believe you immediately think the issue must lie with their way of belief and not yours. Rabbi BenDonin: In the Jewish culture, women are highly regarded. If you noticed, in our tradition every holiday is started with a woman lighting the candles. One of the values that we place upon woman-hood is that in the home it is the women who set the spiritual climate for the whole household, create the ambiance for the children and nourish the family, so we honor women by designating them to enter in all the holidays. It is the woman who sets the tone, and beyond that, it was the woman that brought forth the Messiah. Atarah: Years ago, I had a desire to teach and I started working toward my B.A. in general education. While working on it, the school that my child attended asked me to work there as a teacher. I was thrilled for the opportunity to work with children; a dream come true! Almost as soon I began, one of the administrators of school came to me and told me that my father contacted them and was very upset with their decision. He told them how big of a mistake it was to hire me. To my dad, nothing that I ever did could be good, so I don't think his issue is so much about a woman preaching and teaching as it is that it is me who's the one doing it. Question: It sounds like he is against you. Why do you think that is? Atarah: I don't know. I always loved my daddy and wanted him to love me and be proud of me.
Question: He stated that you are disrespectful to your father and mother, what is this about? Atarah: I'm not sure what he is pertaining to. If it was when I was a child, I'm sorry. I left home when I was thirteen and I was rebellious in my younger years. Question: He said that you own him money, what is this? Chris: When Atarah was married to her first husband, he had the propensity to borrow loans from people and never pay them back. I certainly don t agree with borrowing under false pretenses, but I don t understand the animosity they hold towards her. Is money really more important than your own child? As a father, I would gladly give the shirt off my back to help my children; those are my children, after all! If you count everything you do for a child as a loan, then they would have to spend their life as an indentured servant trying to pay you back, and where does it end? Does she owe them for the tennis shoes from 3 rd grade? What about the cost of formula when she was a baby? Again, I m not saying that its okay to take advantage of others, but you should never lend what you re not willing to lose, and you should never make money your source.
Question: Who is this Rachel and what is this about? Atarah: Rachel is my sister who went through a divorce. Her ex-husband came to me one day and told me that he had a relationship that he wanted to pursue and Rachel was having trouble accepting it and asked that I help her move on. I agreed to, and I offered to encourage her to work toward her dream and agreed pay for her to go to school and get her CNA degree, which was the first step of achieving her dream of being an ER RN. She could have gone to school anywhere she wanted, however, one day she called me and said she wanted to get away and from there, and soon after she moved in with me to do so. Since then, she completed her CNA class with honors, then while working a full time job, turned around and payed her own way to get her phlebotomy degree, completing it with honors as well. Rachel is now in the process of starting her EMT degree while competing the prerequisites for her RN degree. Rachel: Mike is my son and he is a wonderful young man who has a great work ethic, and both he and his brother Kanaan live when their father Chris. Even though he chooses to contribute, he does not pay the house bills. He pays for a car which will be his when it is paid off. His dad is responsible for all of the bills and pays them diligently. Question: Mr. Teague said something about Rachel having a lover of Atarah, what is this? Atarah: I don't know. I'm married and have been for quite some time now. I don't have any lovers. Rachel: I don't know what he's talking about, either. I did have a boyfriend I began to get to know in that time, but that relationship ended several months ago and Atarah and I have never had any lovers. I am happily single now, and I am not even looking for a man. Atarah: When I was child, my father would often compare me to my mother. Whenever she would come to see me, he'd always ask I wonder what lover she's going to bring this time? He tried to assign that same stereotype to me from a young age; he tried to call me a whore when I was still a child and had never even been with a man. Rachel: Like he's got a lot of room to talk! The men in the family have all had a lot of women. They are all known as lady s men, him included. Even though neither of us have been sleeping around, why it is a crime for women when its acceptable and even celebrated for men? If a woman does it, she's a whore. If a man does it, he's congratulated. There's a double standard.
Question: Mr. Teague claims you need to pay him, preferably by selling your vehicles. Do you have any comments? Atarah: Why do I need to sell either of my Mercedes-Benz when they are already paid for? We are not hurting financially, nor are we struggling. If he needed anything he could simply have asked and I would have helped. We live hours away from him and we don't communicate for years at a time. I am not invited at any family gathering and am shunned, therefore, how am I to know he needed anything? Chris: I'd like to quickly interject that I understand that they made be in need, but trying to guilt others into paying their bills is not a sound way to get assistance. I am not inclined to pay the debts of another man, especially given how highly they esteemed him and how lowly they regard myself and my family. Question: He also mentioned that Rachel doesn't love her boys. Do you want to comment on that? Rachel: Of course I love my children! It s because of my children that I am working so hard to lay out a future for them. I want to be able to pay for their college and be able to leave the inheritance for them that was not left for us. What kind of example would I be if I encouraged them to better themselves, go to college and follow their dreams when I didn't even do it? How could I love them properly if I don't love myself enough?
Question: Mr. Teague stated that he has all your history with dates that the Rabbi would find interesting. What is that? Gabbai Bnai Shalom: Does not Christianity believe and say in 2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. What motivation would I have to revisit that which is assuredly passed away? G-d loves her and we love and defend her. We are now Atarah's family, as she is ours. Does not Christianity also teach to walk in love towards one another? I fail to see any evidence of it in this letter. I have mentored and walked with Atarah personally, and it has been my responsibility to ascertain her character from direct interaction. Whatever may or may not have taken place before her conversion is irrelevant. Chris: For whatever reason, it seems like there s a disparity between how he sees Atarah and how the rest of the world sees Atarah. I remember the term cognitive bias, which refers to the tendency to think in certain ways that deviates from rational thinking and judgment. Over time, your understanding of something strays further and further away from what the information dictates, and eventually you arrive at a conclusion that seems illogical. I m sure in his mind there must be a good reason to try and sabotage her efforts to better herself and others, but I certainly don't see one. Atarah: Concerning my written history, I'm not sure of what he's talking about. Like a court record and the people he's mentioned? I have no idea what he is talking about. There was one time when I was thirteen that involving a young boy and a school bus and a grown man that went to court. I talked this over with my mother, who went through this difficult time with me, and she suggested that I not relive it. She brought up a good point that the other people involved and their families would also have to relive it. Therefore, after more than 30 years I'm going to leave this buried. If my dad wants to make a public spectacle with all the names and dates and bring up issues from decades ago for multiple families to relive, that is up to him. That said, I've always told the truth about it, whether they believe it or not. That man was guilty of what he was indicted of, and as a mother I am glad that he is in prison. I have written him and I have forgiven him, and every man pays the penalty of their actions in some way or form eventually. Also, every one has a past. Just like my dad, there will always be someone who will say and do things to you that have the potential to deeply cut and hurt you. However, we must keep our hearts and minds protected, using the Word of G-d as a shield. Meditate on the Word of G-d and refuse to be hurt!
I had to make this decision in my own life. It used to bother me to no end, but I had to come to a point where I finally made up my mind and said, I refuse to allow the negative and even false things said about me to upset me. I have come to realize that it is the enemy's goal to discredit honorable men and women of G-d in order to keep the world blinded to the truth found in G-d's Word. I don't care if I am called a whore, liar or a fake; I have something on the inside of me that makes me emotionally invincible! I am possessed by the Word of G-d, and when the enemy comes in like a flood, G-d will raise up a standard against him. This type of confidence comes only by spending so much time meditating on the Word that it begins to alter the way you look at people and situations that are designed to cause hurt in your life. God is love, and when His Word becomes engrafted in your spirit and soul, the Spirit of love will begin to push fear-based hurt, rejection, and pain out of your life. You will start looking at those who offended you as hurt people who are in need of love themselves. This will transform the way you deal with hurtful people, and it will also heal you and make you stronger. Therefore, I feel sympathy for my dad. There will be a link to the letter I received in its entirely posted with this document.