Aesop s Fable-ous Christmas Tree

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Aesop s Fable-ous Christmas Tree Comedy by Michael Gravois

Aesop s Fable-ous Christmas Tree Comedy. By Michael Gravois. Cast: 8 to 50 gender- neutral roles. When Aesop s fables are given a holiday spin, you ll get a mash-up of The Twelve Days of Christmas and The Tortoise and the Hare, where the six birds of Christmas compete in a comical race with the turtle dove winning, of course; a tiny snow mouse teaches the abominable snowman that little friends may prove great friends; Ebenezer Scrooge realizes that wealth unused might as well not exist; Santa s elves dream of a life outside the workshop as they sing a patter poem about their ideal careers; and even though the eight reindeer panic when Rudolph gets a cold in the nose, they learn that necessity is the mother of invention. A dozen vignettes illuminate important life lessons by reinventing the classic fables, blending humor, rhythmic elements, rapping, puppetry, poetry, song and storytelling to create a fast-paced, funfilled show that s filled with Christmas spirit. Single set. Optional sound effects/music CD available. Approximate running time: 1 hour. Code: AJ9. Front cover: The Circuit Playhouse, Inc., Memphis, Tenn. Cover photo: Chris Neely Photography. Cover design: Susan Carle. Back cover art: Dynamic Graphics, Inc. ISBN 10: 1-58342-817-8 ISBN 13: 978-1-58342-817-7 www.dramaticpublishing.com Dramatic Publishing 311 Washington St. Woodstock, IL 60098 Phone: 800-448-7469 815-338-7170 Printed on recycled paper

AE SOP S FA BLE-OUS CHRIST MAS TREE By MI CHAEL GRAVOIS Dra matic Pub lish ing Woodstock, Il li nois Aus tra lia New Zea land South Af rica

*** NO TICE *** The am a teur and stock act ing rights to this work are con trolled ex clu sively by THE DRA MATIC PUB LISH ING COM PANY with out whose per mis sion in writ ing no per for mance of it may be given. Roy alty must be paid ev ery time a play is per formed whether or not it is pre sented for profit and whether or not ad mis sion is charged. A play is per formed any time it is acted be fore an au di ence. Cur rent roy alty rates, ap pli ca tions and re stric tions may be found at our website: www.dramaticpublishing.com, or we may be con tacted by mail at: DRA MATIC PUB LISH ING COM PANY, 311 Wash ing ton St., Woodstock IL 60098. COPY RIGHT LAW GIVES THE AU THOR OR THE AU THOR S AGENT THE EX CLU SIVE RIGHT TO MAKE COP IES. This law pro vides au thors with a fair re turn for their cre ative ef forts. Au thors earn their liv ing from the roy al ties they re ceive from book sales and from the per for mance of their work. Con sci en tious ob ser vance of copy right law is not only eth i cal, it en - cour ages au thors to con tinue their cre ative work. This work is fully pro tected by copy right. No al ter ations, de le tions or sub sti tu tions may be made in the work with out the prior writ ten con sent of the pub lisher. No part of this work may be re pro duced or trans mit ted in any form or by any means, elec tronic or me chan i cal, in clud ing pho to copy, re cord ing, vid eo tape, film, or any in for ma - tion stor age and re trieval sys tem, with out per mis sion in writ ing from the pub lisher. It may not be per formed ei ther by pro fes sion als or am a teurs with - out pay ment of roy alty. All rights, in clud ing, but not lim ited to, the pro fes - sional, mo tion pic ture, ra dio, tele vi sion, vid eo tape, for eign lan guage, tab loid, rec i ta tion, lec tur ing, pub li ca tion and read ing, are reserved. For per for mance of any songs, mu sic and re cord ings men tioned in this play which are in copy right, the per mis sion of the copy right own ers must be ob tained or other songs and re cord ings in the pub lic do main sub sti - tuted. MMXII by MI CHAEL GRAVOIS Printed in the United States of Amer ica All Rights Re served (AE SOP S FA BLE-OUS CHRIST MAS TREE) ISBN: 978-1-58342-817-7

IM POR TANT BILL ING AND CREDIT RE QUIRE MENTS All pro duc ers of the play must give credit to the au thor of the play in all pro - grams dis trib uted in con nec tion with per for mances of the play and in all in - stances in which the ti tle of the play ap pears for pur poses of ad ver tis ing, pub li ciz ing or oth er wise ex ploit ing the play and/or a pro duc tion. The name of the au thor must also ap pear on a sep a rate line, on which no other name ap pears, im me di ately fol low ing the ti tle, and must ap pear in size of type not less than fifty per cent (50%) the size of the ti tle type. Bio graph i cal in for ma - tion on the au thor, if in cluded in the playbook, may be used in all pro grams. In all pro grams this no tice must ap pear: Pro duced by spe cial ar range ment with THE DRA MATIC PUB LISH ING COM PANY of Woodstock, Il li nois

For Ste phen Han cock

Ae sop s Fa ble-ous Christ mas Tree pre miered on De cem ber 3, 2011, at the Cir cuit Play house, Jackie Nichols, ex ec u tive di rec tor, in Mem phis, Ten nes see, with the fol low ing art ists: CAST Da vis Fancher Ja son Gerhard Marc Gill Lyric Pe ters Malkin Dan iel L. Mar tin Justin G. Nel son Carole JaiMese Pres ley Lena Wallace PRO DUC TION STAFF Di rec tor...mi chael Gravois Sce nic De signer....jay Deen Cos tume De signer...nich o las Bursoni Light ing De signer...colin Chauche Sound De signer...da vid Shipley Pup pet De signer...alex Nahon Orig i nal Mu sic and Mu sic Di rec tor....renée Kemper Tech ni cal Di rec tor...kat De Camillo Tour ing Stage Man ager...karin Barile Cir cuit Play house Stage Man ager...kendra Watkins 6

AE SOP S FA BLE-OUS CHRIST MAS TREE ACTORS 1-8 PLAY THE FOL LOW ING ROLES: * Christ mas Rap ping...9 Ac tors 1-8 Train of Thought...11 Elves 1-8 The Truth of the Mat ter...13 Christ mas Spirit, Ac tor 1, Ac tor 2 Com mon Scents...18 Royal Guards 1&2, King, Queen, Royal Sub jects 1-3, Christ mas Spirit Six Birds A Racing...23 Drum mer, Piper, Lord, Lady, Maid, Op era Singer, Call ing Bird, French Hen, Swan, Par tridge, Goose, Tur tle Dove Small Bless ings...30 Abom i na ble Snow man, Snow Mouse, Hunt ers 1&2, Short est Ac tor, Tall est Ac tor Flower Power...34 Royal Guards 1&2, King, Queen, Royal Sub jects 1&2 Sick Day...38 Donner, Cu pid, Blitzen, Prancer, Dancer, Vixen, Dasher, Comet Pay Dirt...42 Scrooge, Townsperson, Cow, Pig, Ac tor 1, Thief (non-speak ing) 7

Pat ter Poem...47 Elves 1-8 Good Neigh bors...55 Snow man, Christ mas Cac tus The Jour ney...57 Lol li pop, Snow Cone, Candy Cane, Old Man Fi nal Carol...60 Ac tors 1-8 That s a Rap!...62 Ac tors 1-8 * CAST ING: The play calls for a cast of eight, but if you cast each scene in de pend ently you can have as many as 50 dif fer ent ac tors. The cast can be any age, sex or race. Play wright s Sug ges tions...64 Christ mas Rappin...67 Train of Thought Rhythms...68 Train Sche matic... 69 Pat ter Poem... 70 Doma Nobis Pacem...71 That s a Rap!...72 8

14 AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE THE TRUTH OF THE MAT TER (SQ#4: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT en trance mu sic; AC TOR 1 en trance mu sic; or na ment shat ter CHRIST MAS SPIRIT en ters and ducks be hind one of the large boxes. AC TOR 1 en ters, car ry ing a large or - na ment that looks like it s made of glass. She trips and drops the or na ment. [CHRIST MAS SPIRIT can catch it up stage of the box.] AC TOR 1 sits down and cries. SQ#5: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT en trance glis sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT ap pears.) CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. Why, what trou bles you so dur ing this time of joy, my friend? AC TOR 1. I dropped an or na ment that my grandpa gave me, and it shat tered into a mil lion pieces. Now it s lost for ever. (Con tin ues cry ing.) CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. Cry not, my child, for I am Christ - mas Spirit. I will work my magic and put your or na - ment back to gether so it s just like new! (SQ#6: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dis ap pear ance and re ap - pear ance glis sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dives be hind the gift box and re - ap pears hold ing a beau ti ful golden or na ment.) CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. Here. I have cre ated this or na ment made of solid gold. Is this the or na ment you broke? AC TOR 1. No, that s not my or na ment. (Cries.) (SQ#7: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dis ap pear ance and re ap - pear ance glis sando

AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE 15 CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dives be hind the box and re ap - pears hold ing a beau ti ful sil ver or na ment.) CHRIST MAS SPIRIT. Here. I have cre ated this or na ment made of solid sil ver. Could this be your or na ment? AC TOR 1. No, that s not my or na ment ei ther. (Cries.) (SQ#8: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dis ap pear ance and re ap - pear ance glis sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dives be hind the gift box a third time and re ap pears with an or na ment just like the one AC TOR 1 broke.) CHRIST MAS SPIRIT. Here. I have cre ated this or na ment made of frag ile glass. Is this the or na ment you broke? AC TOR 1. Yes! Yes! That s the or na ment I broke. (Hugs CHRIST MAS SPIRIT.) Thank you! Oh, thank you, Christ mas Spirit! CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. You are an hon est child. To re ward you, I will not only give you this or na ment but I will give you the golden or na ment and the sil ver or na ment as well. Merry Christ mas. ACTOR 1. Merry Christ mas, Christ mas Spirit! And thanks! Wait ll I tell my friends! (AC TOR 1 runs off to tell oth ers what has hap pened. CHRIST MAS SPIRIT smiles and dives be hind the gift box. SQ#9: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dis ap pear ance glis sando

16 AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE AC TOR 2 peeks out from be hind the tree and en ters car ry ing a glass or na ment. SQ#10: AC TOR 2 en trance mu sic; or na ment shat ter He looks around, sees that the coast is clear, and trips, drop ping his or na ment.) AC TOR 2. Ooops. (He sits down and cries, but not very con vinc ingly.) Oh, boo hoo. Oh, boo hoo hoo. (Noth ing hap pens. AC TOR 2 looks around and be gins to cry even louder.) I said OH, BOO HOO! OH, BOO HOO HOO!!! (SQ#11: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT ap pear ance glis sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT ap pears.) CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. Why, what trou bles you so dur ing this time of joy, my friend? AC TOR 2. I dropped my faaaavorite or na ment and it shat - tered into a mil lion, bil lion, gazillion pieces. (Cries loudly.) Oh, boo hoo. Oh, boo hoo hoo!! CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. Cry not, my child, for I am Christ - mas Spirit. I will work my magic and put your or na - ment back to gether so it s just like new! (SQ#12: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dis ap pear ance and re ap - pear ance glis sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dives be hind the gift box and re - ap pears hold ing a beau ti ful golden or na ment.)

AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE 17 CHRIST MAS SPIRIT. Here. I have cre ated this or na ment made of solid gold. Could this be the or na ment you broke? AC TOR 2. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! That is the or na ment I broke!!! (Reaches for the or na ment.) CHRIST MAS SPIRIT (pulls or na ment away). Not so fast! I can tell that you are ly ing. To pun ish you for not be - ing truth ful, I will not only keep this or na ment but I will leave yours smashed in a mil lion, bil lion, gazillion pieces. (SQ#13: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dis ap pear ance glis sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dives be hind the gift. AC TOR 1 en ters and crosses to AC TOR 2.) AC TOR 1. Hon esty is the best pol icy. (SQ#14: Lively mu sic AC TORS hug and run to a pres ent downstage. AC TOR 2 opens it and shows the un der side of the lid to the au - di ence, where the moral is writ ten.) ACTOR 2. Hon esty is the best pol icy. (AC TOR 2 sets down lid so moral can be seen. AC TOR 1 takes out an or na ment shaped like a golden or na ment and holds it up for the au di ence to see. AC TOR 2 knocks on the gift box where CHRIST MAS SPIRIT is hid ing.

18 AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE SQ#15: CHRIST MAS SPIRIT re ap pear ance glis sando; lively mu sic for hang ing or na ment; dis ap pear ance glis - sando CHRIST MAS SPIRIT ap pears, takes the or na ment from AC TOR 1 and hangs it on the tree. AC TORS wave to CHRIST MAS SPIRIT and exit. CHRIST MAS SPIRIT dives be hind the gift again and stays there un til the end of the next scene.) COM MON SCENTS (ROYAL GUARDS 1 and 2 en ter hum ming and re ar - range boxes. SQ#16: Fan fare KING and QUEEN en ter. KING holds a large can dle and sets it on a box. ROYAL GUARDS stand in the back ground.) KING. My Queen, I have de vel oped a new scent for this year s Royal Christ mas Can dle. Don t you think it smells di vine? QUEEN (takes a whiff and gags). Oh, my King, that is the foul est, rank est scent that ere I smelt! KING. It is not. QUEEN. It is too. KING. Is not. QUEEN. Is too. KING. Is not.

AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE 19 QUEEN. Is too. KING. Not. QUEEN. Too. KING. Not. QUEEN. Too. KING. Not. QUEEN. Too! Hmmmph! KING. Well, if it smells so bad, how come none of my sub jects have said so? Hmmmm? GUARDS! Bring me a sub ject! Pronto! ROYAL GUARDS. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. (ROYAL GUARDS make a con tin u ous cir cle around Christ mas tree, mut ter ing the whole way. They re en ter, car ry ing a large math book and his tory book.) ROYAL GUARD 1. Which thubject would you like, Thire? (i.e., Which sub ject would you like, Sire?) KING. Not that kind of sub ject, fools. One of my plebes! ROYAL GUARDS. Ooooooh! Duh-ho. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. (ROYAL GUARDS cir cle tree and re en ter ac com pa nied by ROYAL SUB JECT 1.) KING. Please, my un der ling, tell me what you think of the scent of this year s Royal Christ mas Can dle. (Looks at QUEEN with con ceit.) ROYAL SUB JECT 1 (takes a whiff and gags). Pee-yoo, Sire! That is the rank est scent that ere I smelt! KING (in censed). Guards! Lock him up!

20 AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE (ROYAL GUARDS take pa per chains off Christ mas tree and tie hands of ROYAL SUB JECT 1.) ROYAL SUB JECT 1. But, but, but, but ooooh. KING. Guards! Bring me an other sub ject! Pronto! ROYAL GUARDS. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. (ROYAL GUARDS cir cle tree and re en ter, car ry ing a large read ing book and a large spell ing book.) ROYAL GUARD 2. Which thubject would you like, Thire? KING. Not that kind of sub ject, fools. One of my plebes! ROYAL GUARDS. Ooooooh! Duh-ho. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. (ROYAL GUARDS cir cle tree and re en ter ac com pa nied by ROYAL SUB JECT 2.) KING. Please, my un der ling, tell me what you think of the scent of this year s Royal Christ mas Can dle. (ROYAL SUB JECT 2 steps to ward can dle. Stops. Sees ROYAL SUB JECT 1 in chains. Takes a whiff. His face con torts as he tries to con trol his dis gust.) ROYAL SUB JECT 2. Oh, Sire, that is the sweet est scent that ere I smelt. Why it smells like rose pet als and rain on a sum mer day. It smells like KING. You are ly ing! I can tell! Guards! Lock him up! (ROYAL GUARDS wrap pa per chains around hands of ROYAL SUB JECT 2.)

AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE 21 ROYAL SUB JECT 2. But, but, but, but ooooh. KING. Guards! Bring me an other sub ject! Pronto! ROYAL GUARDS. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. (ROYAL GUARDS be gin to exit around tree.) KING. And I DON T mean sci ence!!! ROYAL GUARDS (stop. Look at each other). Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. (ROYAL GUARDS cir cle tree and re en ter ac com pa nied by ROYAL SUB JECT 3.) KING. Please, my un der ling, tell me what you think of the scent of this year s Royal Christ mas Can dle. (ROYAL SUB JECT 3 no tices ROYAL SUB JECTS 1 and 2 in chains. Whips out a hand ker chief.) ROYAL SUB JECT 3. Oh, Tire, I hab da wort code in my dose. I cat mell a ting. (i.e., Oh, Sire, I have the worst cold in my nose. I can t smell a thing.) (QUEEN looks at KING in vic tory. KING shrugs. ROYAL SUB JECTS 1 and 2 look at the au di ence and step for ward, say ing ) ROYAL SUB JECTS 1 & 2. If you can t say any thing nice, don t say any thing at all. (SQ#17: Fan fare

22 AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE Trum pet fan fare be gins to play again. QUEEN steps for ward, opens a pres ent downstage and shows un der - side of lid to au di ence, where the moral is writ ten.) QUEEN. If you can t say any thing nice, don t say any thing at all. (QUEEN sets down lid so moral can be seen. She pulls out an or na ment shaped like a Christ mas can dle and holds it up for the au di ence to see. SQ#18: Fan fare in ter rupted QUEEN heads to ward tree but is in ter rupted by CHRIST MAS SPIRIT.) CHRIST MAS SPIRIT. Hey, hey, wait a min ute. Waaaaiiiit a minuuuuuute!!! Hey! (Looks at sound booth and moves hand across her throat, mean ing cut the mu - sic. Fan fare stum bles and stops.) WHAT S the moral of that story? KING. Ummm if you can t say any thing nice, don t say any thing at all? CHRIST MAS SPIRIT. But the moral of my story was Hon esty is the best pol icy. When he (in di cat ing ROYAL SUB JECT 1) told the truth, you put him in chains. So is hon esty the best pol icy or not? KING. Guards! Put her in chains! ROYAL GUARDS. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. Duh-ho. (ROYAL GUARDS drag CHRIST MAS SPIRIT off stage. KING in di cates for fan fare to start again.

AESOP S FABLE-OUS CHRISTMAS TREE 23 SQ#19: Fan fare; intro to Twelve Days; twelve drum - mers; eleven pip ers; ten lords KING takes or na ment from QUEEN and hangs it on the tree. Ev ery one re ar ranges the boxes for the next scene and ex its. Fan fare tran si tions into the fi nal verse of the carol The Twelve Days of Christ mas. )

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