A CV of failures Melanie I Stefan University of Edinburgh 24 November 2017 melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 1 / 16
Who am I? melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 2 / 16
Who am I? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 3 / 16
Who am I? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria MSc research student, 2004 Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology, Tübingen, Germany melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 3 / 16
Who am I? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria MSc research student, 2004 Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology, Tübingen, Germany PhD, 2005-2009 EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 3 / 16
But who am I really? Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013 California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 4 / 16
But who am I really? Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013 California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014 Harvard Medical School, Boston, US melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 4 / 16
But who am I really? Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013 California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014 Harvard Medical School, Boston, US Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015 University of Edinburgh, UK melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 4 / 16
But who am I really? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
But who am I really? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria Interrupted maths degree for a few years, took it up again later with the Open University; took 13 years in total to complete. melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
But who am I really? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria Interrupted maths degree for a few years, took it up again later with the Open University; took 13 years in total to complete. MSc research student, 2004 Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology, Tübingen, Germany melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
But who am I really? Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005 University of Salzburg, Austria Interrupted maths degree for a few years, took it up again later with the Open University; took 13 years in total to complete. MSc research student, 2004 Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology, Tübingen, Germany Supervising postdoc suggested I should look for jobs outside of science. melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
But who am I really? PhD, 2005-2009 EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
But who am I really? PhD, 2005-2009 EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK Only PhD programme I was actually admitted to. melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
But who am I really? PhD, 2005-2009 EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK Only PhD programme I was actually admitted to. Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013 California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
But who am I really? PhD, 2005-2009 EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK Only PhD programme I was actually admitted to. Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013 California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US Applied for four fellowships, received only one. Lab experiments did not go as planned. melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
But who am I really? melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
But who am I really? Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014 Harvard Medical School, Boston, US melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
But who am I really? Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014 Harvard Medical School, Boston, US Previous boss told me this would be the end of my academic career. melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
But who am I really? Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014 Harvard Medical School, Boston, US Previous boss told me this would be the end of my academic career. Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015 University of Edinburgh, UK melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
But who am I really? Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014 Harvard Medical School, Boston, US Previous boss told me this would be the end of my academic career. Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015 University of Edinburgh, UK Well... So far, so good. melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
CVs of failure Am I alone? Scientific career failures (informal Google poll) melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 8 / 16
CVs of failure Am I alone? Scientific career failures (informal Google poll) Rejected (and not wait-listed) from all 9 PhD programs I applied to in a given year Not having the guts to enrol in an engineering degree because I thought, and still think, I m not good enough I ve failed to learn proper skills for giving a talk The main chapter of my dissertation has been rejected by five journals and remains unpublished 7 years later By many measures I did well. But somehow I just never got my head around what it means to understand enough about a topic to make a valuable contribution. So, just sort of general failure from a personality point of view to be able to play the game. Got into an episode of depression while studying for a Masters course that was wrong for me. I did not finish the degree melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 8 / 16
CVs of failure Am I alone? Extracurricular failures (informal Google poll) melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 9 / 16
CVs of failure Am I alone? Extracurricular failures (informal Google poll) I had flute lessons for five years or so, but every orchestra I have ever auditioned with has rejected me. Never managed to speak even a bit of Mandarin, after 4 months of intensive classes in China I do not find a partner despite the fact I would like to start a family. Giving up searching now. Failed driver licence exam, twice. Everything related with sports and competitive activities. Every time I m in a competition I just freak out and unintentionally give my worst performance I have always loved painting and dancing but I do not have time to carry out and practise these activities in time I ve failed at being a runner melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 9 / 16
CVs of failure A CV of failures melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 10 / 16
CVs of failure A CV of failures melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 11 / 16
CVs of failure A CV of failures melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 12 / 16
Coping with failure What would you tell a friend? Extracurricular failures (informal Google poll) I had flute lessons for five years or so, but every orchestra I have ever auditioned with has rejected me. Never managed to speak even a bit of Mandarin, after 4 months of intensive classes in China I do not find a partner despite the fact I would like to start a family. Giving up searching now. Failed driver licence exam, twice. Everything related with sports and competitive activities. Every time I m in a competition I just freak out and unintentionally give my worst performance I have always loved painting and dancing but I do not have time to carry out and practise these activities in time I ve failed at being a runner melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 13 / 16
Coping with failure What would you tell a friend? Scientific career failures (informal Google poll) Rejected (and not wait-listed) from all 9 PhD programs I applied to in a given year Not having the guts to enrol in an engineering degree because I thought, and still think, I m not good enough I ve failed to learn proper skills for giving a talk The main chapter of my dissertation has been rejected by five journals and remains unpublished 7 years later By many measures I did well. But somehow I just never got my head around what it means to understand enough about a topic to make a valuable contribution. So, just sort of general failure from a personality point of view to be able to play the game. Got into an episode of depression while studding for a Masters course that was wrong for me. I did not finish the degree melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 14 / 16
Coping with failure Job applications: The spreadsheet of doom You get five interviews, you get a job. Caltech career talk melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 15 / 16
Coping with failure Job applications: The spreadsheet of doom You get five interviews, you get a job. Caltech career talk You get 30 rejections, we open a bottle of champagne. My mum melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 15 / 16
Coping with failure Coping with failure Get perspective Know it s not just you Talk to people Reflect Make it a game Care for yourself Re-define failure Learn from your experience Do what makes you happy melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 16 / 16
Coping with failure Coping with failure Get perspective Know it s not just you Talk to people Reflect Make it a game Care for yourself Re-define failure Learn from your experience Do what makes you happy Niki K. [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons melanie.stefan@ed.ac.uk ( MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 16 / 16