We also studied David's Psalm 51 which dealt with David's repentance at that time.

Samuel Thru Solomon Lesson 23-2 Samuel 13:1-39 In lesson 22 we saw David's friend, the prophet Nathan confront David about his rape of Bathsheba and murder of Uriah. He did it only after the LORD Himself sent him to David. Nathan introduced the subject with the story of a rich man who stole the pet lamb of a poor man. In righteous anger David pronounced sentence on the man in the story. At that point Nathan said, "The man is you!" At that point David repented, and Nathan pronounced him forgiven by the LORD, but also prophesied that the consequences of his sin on his family, his kingship and his personal life would last to the end of his life. We also saw how when Bathsheba delivered her child, he fell ill and died in spite of David's fervent prayers. At that point David roused himself, joined Joab at the siege of Rabbah with the rest of the Israelite army and took the city, ending the war with the Ammonites. We also studied David's Psalm 51 which dealt with David's repentance at that time. In this lesson, we will see the beginning of the outworking of David's sin in the life of his family. This is the account of his two oldest sons, Amnon and Absalom. This account is not mentioned in 1 Chronicles. 2 Samuel 13:1 In the course of time, Amnon [a] son of David 1 / 18

Amnon was the oldest son (2 Samuel 3:2), and was born in Hebron when David was about 31 and had just become King of Judah. Amnon was about 20 years old at the time of this incident. He was the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel, who David married while fleeing from Saul. He had married her after leaving Michal, David's first wife, and before he had married Abigail, the widow of Nabal. 2 Samuel 13:1 fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom [b] son of David. Absalom was the third son (2 Samuel 3:3). He was born in Hebron to Maacah, the daughter of the King of Geshur (a Gentile) who David married after he moved to Hebron. It is likely that he was about 18. We don't know for sure if his sister was younger than he was, but she was certainly no older than 20 (Amnon's age). Tamar was probably younger than Absalom, and was probably about 15 or younger (she probably would have already been married off if she was older than Absalom). The context leads us to conclude that she was Absalom's full sister (with the same mother, Maacah), but only Amnon's half sister. 2 Samuel 13:2 Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. 2 / 18

Each of David's wives would have had their own households within the palace, thus growing up, Amnon would have not considered her like a sister. She was beautiful, and Amnon wanted her. He was the heir apparent to David according to the customs of the surrounding monarchies. He had the example of his father's rape of Bathsheba before him, so he seemed to have decided that if it was alright for David to rape the wife of one of his friends, it was alright for him to have sex with his half sister. The problem was how to do it. He seems to have thought that if he could get Tamar alone, she would willingly consent to having sex. She would then love him. 2 Samuel 13:3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab [c] son [d] of Shimeah, [e] David's brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. People in positions of power never have a problem finding others around them who seek to curry favor by telling them what they want to hear, but take no responsibility for what happens as a result. Amnon had such a person whose name was Jonadab. He was probably David's great-nephew. He was also either the son or brother of Jonathan, one of David's mighty men, who killed a giant (2 Samuel 21:21, 1 Chronicles 20:7). Jonadab's name appears five times in this chapter. Here, his advice led to rape. Later, after Amnon was dead, he told David that Absalom had been planning to kill Amnon for two years. 2 Samuel 13:4 He asked Amnon, "Why do you, the king's son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won't you tell me?" Amnon said to him, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister." 3 / 18

If Jonadab had not searched out the opportunity to encourage Amnon to follow his lust, it might have eventually switched to a more appropriate object. However, in each young person's life there is always a person like Jonadab. They are a parent's worst nightmare. 2 Samuel 13:5 "Go to bed and pretend to be ill," Jonadab said. "When your father comes to see you, say to him, I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.'" Jonadab came up with a plan. He didn't mention all the negatives of carrying out the plan. That might have made him unpopular. 2 Samuel 13:6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand." 4 / 18

The first part of the plan went smoothly. Amnon approached David with his request. If David had not had so many wives and children, he might have understood what was going on with his first born. However, the beginning of his problems really began when he started multiplying wives to himself. 2 Samuel 13:7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: "Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him." This indicates that Tamar was still living at home in David's palace, while Amnon, already, had his own house. 2 Samuel 13:8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Innocently, Tamar went to the house of Amnon. 5 / 18

2 Samuel 13:9-10 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. "Send everyone out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. Amnon took steps to make sure he could confront Tamar alone in his bedroom without the presence of servants. 2 Samuel 13:11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "Come to bed with me, my sister." Amnon assaulted Tamar. 2 Samuel 13:12 "Don't, my brother!" she said to him. "Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing. 6 / 18

Tamar first resisted by arguing from the Law of Moses. 2 Samuel 13:13a What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Then she argued that it would destroy Amnon's reputation with the people he was supposed to lead one day, not to mention her reputation. 2 Samuel 13:13b Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you." Then she argued that if he had to have her, perhaps David would grant him the right to marry her. This implied that David rarely refused Amnon anything. The Mosaic law forbade rape. However, if the woman who was raped, was not married or engaged, the rapist was obligated to marry the woman (Deuteronomy 22:28). The Mosaic Law also forbade marriages between siblings (Leviticus 20:17). I think that when she made this statement, she was really just trying to find a way out. She implied that she was willing to marry Amnon, but I believe she knew that if she could just get out of the bedroom undefiled, she would be safe. She knew David would never grant such a marriage. However, she probably also suspected that David would never execute Amnon, the Crown Prince, for perpetrating a lesser crime than David himself had with Bathsheba. That left her alone with the consequences. 7 / 18

2 Samuel 13:14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. When it came to it, unlike in Amnon's fantasies, Tamar would not cooperate, and he had to forcibly rape her. There was no one to rescue her. 2 Samuel 13:15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, "Get up and get out!" Since Tamar had failed to cooperate with Amnon's fantasy, and he realized that he had committed this crime for nothing but disappointment, he seems to have blamed her for the whole thing and hated her for "enticing" him with her beauty. 2 Samuel 13:16 "No!" she said to him. "Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me." But he refused to listen to her. 8 / 18

She knew if he sent her away, like that, she could be accused of anything, just like Joseph with Potipher's wife in Genesis, and her reputation could never be repaired. 2 Samuel 13:17 He called his personal servant and said, "Get this woman out of here and bolt the door after her." He brought his personal servant into it to be a witness that he wanted nothing to do with her, thus making her look the aggressor. 2 Samuel 13:18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing a richly ornamented robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. This robe pointed out the high status that the virgin daughters of kings had. Since it was the custom to ensure the virginity of wives at weddings in that day by inspecting the bed linen, it was a status which she could never have anymore. 9 / 18

2 Samuel 13:19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented robe she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. Ashes spoke of mourning and despair (Isaiah 61:3) as does tearing of one's robe (many passages). 2 Samuel 13:20 Her brother Absalom said to her, "Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don't take this thing to heart." And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate [f] woman. According to the Mosaic Law. Tamar was a raped virgin who was not pledged to be married. The law relating to that is Deuteronomy 22:28-29 "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives." Notice the implication is that no other man would have her if she was not a virgin. However, because she was also Amnon's sister, if Amnon married her as required by Deuteronomy 22:28-29, they would be under Leviticus 20:17 " If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They must be cut off before the eyes of their people. He has dishonored his 10 / 18

sister and will be held responsible." In other words, if they were married, they could never have sex on pain of being cut off from their people or exiled. Of course, Amnon had fixed it so that he had been alone with her without any witnesses. According to the principals of Deuteronomy 22:23-27, if she had cried out, she could not be held responsible, but she couldn't prove that. Therefore, it was possible that both of them would have been held responsible and forced to marry into a sexless marriage and forced into exile according to Leviticus 20:19 " Do not have sexual relations with the sister of either your mother or your father, for that would dishonor a close relative; both of you would be held responsible." Thus Tamar's options were not good. If she brought charges, and David thought she had a case, she could have been forced into a sexless marriage and exile with Amnon. So she made no public accusation against Amnon and reconciled herself to being unmarried for the rest of her life. However, Absalom guessed what had happened. Eventually, what happened came to be known even to David. 2 Samuel 13:21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. David knew about it, but did nothing. He probably felt a lot of the responsibility was his, because he had destroyed the boundaries of allowed behavior by his treatment of Bathsheba. However that was no excuse for his failure to protect his daughter. It also alienated his son Absalom. 2 Samuel 13:22 Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. 11 / 18

Unfortunately, Absalom, if he was a believer, he was not a strong one. If he had been, he would have claimed the doctrine of vengeance: Deuteronomy 32:35 "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." Instead Absalom nursed hatred in his heart toward Amnon, and it was a poison to his soul. He hated and despised Amnon for raping his sister. Ironically, he eventually became a rapist himself when he raped David's concubines on the roof of David's palace. 2 Samuel 13:23-24 Two years later, when Absalom's sheepshearers [g] were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, [h] he invited all the king's sons to come there. Absalom went to the king and said, "Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his officials please join me?" Absalom hid his hatred for two whole years until no one suspected him of any ill feeling toward Amnon. It seems to me almost certain that Absalom felt sure the David would refuse his invitation to come to the sheep shearing. After all, it was not a great occasion and David was a busy King. 2 Samuel 13:25 "No, my son," the king replied. "All of us should not go; we would only be a burden to you." Although Absalom urged him, he still refused to go, but gave him his blessing. 12 / 18

David begged off, using the excuse that the expense to Absalom of entertaining the whole royal retinue would be too great. This would have fit with Absalom's plans. He knew that after David's refusal, he could then take the part of the injured son and request that David send Amnon, the Crown Prince, as his representative. Surely, that was not too much to ask? 2 Samuel 13:26-27 Then Absalom said, "If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us." The king asked him, "Why should he go with you?" But Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king's sons. David agreed to send Amnon. David's inclusion of the other brothers was probably not foreseen by Absalom, but it did not present the problem that the presence of David would have. David would have come with his formidable bodyguard. 2 Samuel 13:28 Absalom ordered his men, "Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, Strike Amnon down,' then kill him. Don't be afraid. Have not I given you this order? Be strong and brave." Absalom was not going to kill Amnon with his own hand, but rather to have his servants do it. 13 / 18

First however, he had to reassure them that they would not be held responsible for following Absalom's orders. I really don't know that Absalom could be sure of that except on his own part... 2 Samuel 13:29 So Absalom's men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king's sons got up, mounted their mules and fled. The immediate conclusion of his brothers was that Absalom was staging a coup. It would not have been unprecedented for one Prince to take the occasion to eliminate all his rivals for the job of successor to David. Therefore, they fled for their lives. Included in this group would have been all the other sons born in Hebron; Kileab, Adonijah, Shephatiah, and Ithream. The three sons of Bathsheba would have been too young. 2 Samuel 13:30 While they were on their way, the report came to David: "Absalom has struck down all the king's sons; not one of them is left." The first report that reached David had taken the worst fears of the brothers and turned them into a fact. 14 / 18

2 Samuel 13:31 The king stood up, tore his clothes and lay down on the ground; and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. David accepted the first report as fact. 2 Samuel 13:32 But Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother, said, "My lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom's expressed intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. Jonadab, the "friend" of Amnon who had helped instigate the whole train of events, now saw a chance to ingratiate himself with David. This indicates that Jonadab knew exactly what had happened to Tamar. He was now seeking to ingratiate himself with David. One has to wonder whether he had warned Amnon of Abasalom's intentions. 2 Samuel 13:33 My lord the king should not be concerned about the report that all the king's sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead." 15 / 18

He knew exactly why Absalom had hated Amnon. 2 Samuel 13:34 Meanwhile, Absalom had fled. Now the man standing watch looked up and saw many people on the road west of him, coming down the side of the hill. The watchman went and told the king, "I see men in the direction of Horonaim, on the side of the hill." Meanwhile, not long after the first report, the rest of the party that had accompanied Amnon was seen approaching Jerusalem. There were obviously many more than David's four surviving sons. 2 Samuel 13:35-36 Jonadab said to the king, "See, the king's sons are here; it has happened just as your servant said." As he finished speaking, the king's sons came in, wailing loudly. The king, too, and all his servants wept very bitterly. Jonadab scurried to take credit for the good news. 16 / 18

2 Samuel 13:37-39 Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned for his son every day. After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. And the spirit of the king longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon's death. Absalom fled to his mother's brother Talmai who was a prince of Geshur. Geshur was located t o the northeast of the Sea of Galilee, in the Golan Heights area. It was in the Aramean area that was tributary to David, but David was not willing to threaten war to get Absalom back. He could no more condemn Absalom for murder than he could condemn Amnon for rape. He was guilty of both himself. [a] The Hebrew name Ö žö Ö¹ Ÿ {am nåhn'} means "faithful." He wasn't. [b] The Hebrew name Ö² Ö¼ Ö œ Ö¹ {ab Ä shä låm'} means "my father is peace." He father David had not modeled peace for his family. [c] Jonadab means "Jehovah (God) is willing." 17 / 18

[d] Remember, "son" in Hebrew usage can mean son, grandson, great grandson, or etc. Considering how much younger David was than most of the rest of his family, Jonadab was probably at least a grandson of David's brother Shimeah to be the age of Absalom. [e] David's third oldest brother, called Shimea in 1 Chronicles 2:13. [f] The Hebrew word here is µmev; {shä mäm'} in the Qal which is usually used to speak of a destroyed and empty county, place, city or building. It occurs elsewhere speaking of a woman only in Isaiah 54:1 " Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate ( µmev; ) woman than of her who has a husband,' says the LORD." Thus it seems clear the word means that Tamar died unmarried and childless. [g] Evidently, Absalom was in charge of the royal herds. This may have helped build a bond between himself and David, a former shepherd boy. [h] Baal Hazor was about 16 miles NNE of Jerusalem. 18 / 18