I WILL SUBMIT Ephesians 5:21-6:9

Dr JD Harless Tri-County Christian Church November 13, 2016 Resources: Commentaries & Expositors I WILL SUBMIT Ephesians 5:21-6:9 Play video The North Wind and Sun Aesop (2:37) I share this video with you this morning because I believe that Aesop touches on the very essence of what the Apostle Paul is offering us in today s passage. Kyle Snodgrass author of Between Two Truths puts it this way Power can t force submission. Love can earn submission. We are going to take a look at EPHESIANS 5:21 6:9 this morning and we are going to find that Paul uses a word that no one really likes. But even though none of us might like the word it is essential for relationships to develop properly. Turn with me to our passage where we find three different relationships addressed and how we are to relate in each of those. Let s look at VERSE 21 which is the foundational statement for the rest of the passage READ VERSE 21. Notice that word in there that we do not like Submit? Let s try to define what that word means before we move on What Submission is not Christian submission is not the same thing as being a doormat. Nowhere in Scripture will you ever see it said that you are to allow people to walk all over you and wipe their feet on you. That is not a biblical concept. Look at VERSE 21 again notice what it does not say. It does not say Submit. Sure, it does Jim it is right there in black and white. We call that proof-texting when we pull something out of context to make it say what we want it to say. The verse has two directives that connect to that word submit that makes the whole command different. Submit to one another I WILL RELATE 1

Submit out of reverence for Christ. See how that changes things? Submission is not a one-way street. In no human relationship does God expect one person to submit and the other to dominate. Christ gave us a prime example in JOHN 13:3-5 and this is what submission is 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. What submission is Submission is basically releasing the need to have the upper-hand. It is releasing my rights for your sake. I believe this is where the second directive in VERSE 21 comes in out of reverence for Christ. If anyone ever had the right to hold on to having the upper hand it was Jesus. He is God in the flesh! And yet he did not do that! Listen to one of my favorite passages in the Bible PHILIPPIANS 2:6-7 READ That is the ultimate example of submission. Again is submission to be a one-way street Absolutely not! It is submission to one another. So how does Paul apply that understanding of submission to the relationships in our passage today? Let s take a look 1 SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER IN MARRIAGE Let s READ VERSES 22-33 These 12 verses may be the very source of so many people despising the word submit because of the way it is used as a beating stick. Woman you are to submit to me because the Bible says so. Should we really believe that that is what God has in mind here? I don t think so! That would be inconsistent with VERSE 21 and certainly inconsistent with Jesus example for us. I WILL RELATE 2

Lilyan van Almelo writes We accompanied our son and his fiancé when they met with her priest to sign some pre-wedding ceremony papers. While filling out the form, our son read aloud a few questions. When he got to the last one, which read: "Are you entering this marriage at your own will?" he looked over at his fiancé. "Put down 'Yes,'" she said. Lilyan van Almelo, Reader's Digest, May 1993, p. 138. Now by submitting to each other this is not what Paul means it does not mean that you do anything and everything that your wife or husband says as if you have no brain. If your mate strongly suggests that you jump off a cliff I would suggest that you do not submit to that. It is not good for your health and really does not improve the marriage all that much. 1PETER 3:7a does a good job of explaining what it means to submit to each other Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect. It is a respect thing! It is putting your mate s needs before your own! Think this through with me! Women can you imagine what would happen if when you got home today from church, your husband sat down on the couch with you and said something like Honey, I have been a jerk! I have had my way in everything! I know that I have not done a very good job of meeting your needs and it is going to change today. I am going to release my rights for your sake. You would probably wonder whose husband you came home with right? Men what would happen if your wife sat down at the breakfast table tomorrow morning and said Honey, I have been making too many demands of you and I am going to correct that starting right now. I am going to relinquish my rights. You might want to jump up and do a jig around the kitchen table. By the way I would not suggest you do that. It might take away from the seriousness of the moment. Do you understand how this would revolutionize your marriage? There would be so much joy take place that you would wonder why you did not do this a long time ago! I WILL RELATE 3

The fact is God really does know what he is talking about even in marriage! He knows what will bring the most joy! I know it goes against everything that our culture tells you! I know it may not make sense rationally But the fact is God designed the whole idea of marriage and he knows what works best! Guys the passage this morning tells us directly that we are to love our wife the same way that Christ loved the church. Would you die for your wife? Christ did for the church. Here is a tougher question would you live for your wife? Would you give up your rights on a day to day basis for her sake? It would almost be easier to die for her than live for her wouldn t it? But that is exactly what God calls us to do to live each day with the love of Christ toward the Church. Wives would you come under submission to your husband as he submits to you by giving up his rights for you? Would you give up your rights for his sake? Some of you would rather die than do that wouldn t you? But that is exactly what God calls you to do! Let me share one more key to this marriage relationship. When Christ/God becomes the focus point of this relationship for both the husband and wife then the closer you get to God the closer you will get to each other! Show Graphic Submit to one another in marriage 2 SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER AS FAMILY READ VERSES 1-4 I want to share something that I feel like is very important in a parent/child relationship even though we are called to submit to each other that does not mean that obedience on the child s part is to be ignored! That would go against God s word. Repeatedly, the Bible says, you train your children, you discipline them. PROVERBS 13:24 If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them. HEBREWS 12:8 asks: "Whoever heard of a child who was never disciplined?" In other word s children need to learn this truth: obedience brings I WILL RELATE 4

blessing, disobedience brings pain. And let s face it, if they don t have a submissive spirit to you how will they ever have one toward their heavenly Father? Let me says this Discipline is not easy! We have so many counsellor s today saying, "Let your children go. Don t punish them, you ll quench their spirit." You will not find that in the Bible. And young people if you have a father and mother who have the courage to discipline you you need to learn to appreciate that! It s tough to confront, it s tough to discipline, it s tough to follow through. HEBREWS 12:11 says, No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. BUT fathers (and mothers) I want you to notice 3 important words in VERSE 4 bring them up. Notice it does not say Beat them up or push them up it says Bring them up. Jimmy Houston a fisherman that once had a show on TV always ended his program with Fathers, take your kids to Sunday School this Sunday. Don t drop them off go with them. I love that message and I believe that is exactly what Paul is saying here. If you expect your children to be the what you are not willing to be Good luck with that! Bring them up in what To be the most successful business man or woman in Indiana? To be the best student in the school? To be the most popular person in the community? Nope that is not what Paul says. He says to bring them up in the training and the instruction of the Lord. In order for you as a parent to pull that off you have to be trained and instructed in the Lord as well! 3 SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE WORKPLACE I WILL RELATE 5

READ VERSES 5-9 Roger Staubach, who led the Dallas Cowboys to the World Championship in 1971, admitted that his position as a quarterback who didn t call his own signals was a source of trial for him. Coach Landry sent in every play. He told Roger when to pass, when to run, and only in emergency situations could he change the play (and he had better be right!). Even though Roger considered coach Landry to have a genius mind when it came to football strategy, pride said that he should be able to run his own team. Roger later said, I faced up to the issue of obedience. Once I learned to obey there was harmony, fulfillment, and victory. (Source unknown) None of us experience a slave/master relationship. Even the worst working conditions for us here in America is not even close to what the Christians might have been experiencing under Roman rule in Ephesus. Listen to what The Roman statesman Cato said, Old slaves should be thrown on a dump, and when a slave is ill, do not feed him anything. It is not worth your money. Take sick slaves and throw them away because they are nothing but ineffective tools. So if these verses applied to the slaves of that culture they certainly apply to you and me today. These verses tell us that we need to get two things right to be a godly employee: We need to have a right behavior VERSE 5 tells us that we need to obey just as you would obey Christ. There is a subtle point here that we might miss. We are to obey our employer as long as it does not bring into conflict our obedience to Christ. If he or she tells us to do something that is ungodly God does not expect us to do that! We need to have the right attitude COLOSSIANS 3:23 says it this way Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward We do not primarily work for our employer we primarily work for God. When we recognize that we will not try to get by with the least amount of work as we I WILL RELATE 6

can. We will work as if our work is a means of worshipping God. And we will not do that haphazardly. VERSE 9 addresses the other side of the employee/employer relationship. It talks about the boss. Bosses treat your employees with respect. By the way respect drives the productivity up. So it is not only a command from God it is good business. Listen to this from the Better Business Bureau: According to management experts the single greatest key to productivity is happy employees.. For years, the belief was that money was the source of employee happiness and retention. While there is no question that money is important, management studies show that it does not buy employee happiness. While employees want to be fairly compensated for their efforts, they also want to be challenged and treated with respect. When people are respected and encouraged to do good work and recognized for it, they will want to continue in that. So encourage your employees. Recognize a good job and tell them When they go above expectations, point it out to them and others. In this way you will encourage all your employees to perform to the best of their ability and you will glorify the Lord in your role as an employer. CONCLUSION When it comes to relationships including the husband/wife the parent/child and the employee/ employer relationships I believe that Aesop got it right! You can try to force with all the power you want but that is not going to bring anyone into submission if anything it will do just the opposite. BUT love that is a different story! Submission is earned by love! So how are you relating to your spouse? You submitting in love? And what about your child or your parent submitting in love? And lastly what about your employer or employee are you submitting in love? Friends submission is not a bad thing to do! It is the loving thing to do. I WILL RELATE 7