J - Husband: Servant/Leader

J - Husband: Servant/Leader

...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Josh. 24:15

Setting Your Marriage On A Biblical Path Husband: Servant/Leader J I. The husband is to seek and to maintain a close, intimate relationship with God, because this relationship is the foundation of his godly leadership of his wife and family. You are A. Commit to leading your home in accordance with God s Word. B. MATT. 6:33 C. E. Realize you are incapable in your own strength of carrying out God s commands, which are given to the husband and father. 1. He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. PROV. 28:26 2. made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ s power may rest on me. 2 COR. 12:9 3. You must recognize that your weaknesses provide the opportunity to seek the That is why, for Christ s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, J-3

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 COR. 12:10 4. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 COR. 3:4,5 F. Understand that the goal of all biblical instruction is to learn, through the utilization of God s power and resources, 1. 2. G. Establish God s goals as your personal and family goals. 1. 2. 3. 4. H. Be in accountability relationships with your wife, as well as spiritually mature men, He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. PROV. 15:31 I. Be willing to rid yourself of images or false pretenses, which are hypocritical. 1. You must realize that who you are in your home is who you really are. 2. J-4

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J J. K. Expect that as you take risks of obedience, the Lord will teach you how to love your L. Impart your experience of the reality of Christ s sustaining power and love to your View all money and possessions as belonging to God and realize that you are a 1. Renounce the love of the world and lusting after the things of this world. 2. N. II. The husband is to initiate and maintain love for his wife, just as Christ initiates and maintains His love for the Church. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... EPH. 5:25 A. You are to love her in the same way Christ loves the church. 1. By making Christ s example of love your standard of love My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. JOHN 15:12 a. You must follow Christ s example by not allowing anything or anyone to b. You must follow Christ as your role model. Therefore, you are to set aside the focus of giving primarily to J-5

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER Instead, you are commanded by God to give yourself up for your wife, Thus, you must give up what you may view as your right to be under your jurisdiction as leader in the home. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 JOHN 4:7-11 2. By initiating love for her in the same way that Christ initiated love for the believer. 1 JOHN 4:19 a. You should lead by being an example to your wife and children in forgiving, seeking forgiveness when you sin, having an attitude of gratitude toward life and admonishing in love. b. The wife s role as God created it is to respond to your love and example of godly living, as the believer responds to Christ s love and holiness. c. rejecting, just as Christ continues to love those who rebel against Him. 3. By loving and accepting her unconditionally in the same way Christ loves and But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ROM. 5:8 J-6

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J a. regardless of her response. b. You must love her and accept her for who she is rather than demanding that she change to please you. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. ROM. 15:7 WHEN WE LEARN TO ACCEPT PEOPLE WHO DISAPPOINT US BY NO LONGER REQUIRING THEM TO SATISFY US, THEN WE RE FREE TO LOVE THEM, TO REACH TOWARD THEM FOR THEIR SAKE WITHOUT HAVING TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM FEELING DISAPPOINTED BY THEIR RESPONSE TO US. LARRY CRABB 4. the same way Christ did as a demonstration of His love and servant s heart. I die every day I mean that, brothers just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. 1 COR. 15:31 not my will, but yours be done. LUKE 22:42B a. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 COR. 5:15 b. You must not live to please yourself, but instead, follow Christ s example, who said, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30b) c. You are to be willing to lay down your life for her, if called to do so, which is B. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever J-7

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. EPH. 5:28-30 1. 2. You are to protect her from hurt and harm as much as you try to protect yourself. 3. III. The husband is to be a servant Jesus said, of all. (Mark 9:35b) A. Your service to your wife is an and an evidence B. Biblical leadership is evidenced in service to your wife, family and others. C. Your attitude is commanded to be the same as Christ s, who humbled Himself and Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross! PHIL. 2:5-8 True humility is evidenced in putting the interests and welfare of your wife and family before your own and by giving of yourself regardless of inconvenience, of emotional but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than themselves; PHIL. 2:3 NASB J-8

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J IV. The husband s foremost command is to love. Therefore, you must submit yourself to A. The following verses record God s of love and the importance He places on it. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 COR. 13:1-7 NASB B. The following concepts will bring greater understanding as to how you can demonstrate your love, both in action and attitude, in accordance with God s 1 Corinthians 13: 1. Love is patient. You must a. give up perceived rights and demands to God in relationship to your wife and children. b. put expectations in God alone for the strength to endure hardship and My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. PS. 62:5 KJV c. resist being judgmental, demanding, negative, critical, intimidating or d. e. persevere with patience in tribulation with a biblical view of suffering. J-9

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. GAL. 6:9 f. allow God to pace your wife s spiritual growth rather than trying to force her to change, realizing that true spiritual growth can only be produced by the So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 1 COR. 3:7 Be motivated by the desire to see your wife change for her sake rather than for your sake. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives... JAS. 4:3A 2. Love is kind. You must a. seek b. be polite, considerate, understanding, caring, sensitive and helpful. (1 Pet. c. be physically affectionate and express your love for her verbally. 3. Love is not jealous or envious. You should a. not be possessive or controlling. b. not be jealous of your wife s time spent with God, children, her family, girlfriends, other couples or in ministry. If her priorities are wrong, forgive her and rebuke her in love. If her priorities are wrong, offer to help her reorder them. J-10

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J c. not compare her unfavorably to other women. You must not envy what d. not falsely accuse her of sin or jump to conclusions without all the facts. d. learn to be content and thankful in whatever circumstances God has CONTENTMENT UNDERSTANDING THAT IF I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH WHAT I HAVE, I WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT I WANT. BILL GOTHARD e. not lust after other women, and commit to renewing your mind if you are f. not to envy or be threatened by your wife s wisdom, spiritual gifts or godly Be willing to nurture, encourage and praise her for her gifts and godly 4. Love is not boastful or arrogant. a. b. Lay aside your pride to admit to wrongs done, and quickly seek forgiveness Place more importance on the welfare of your wife and marriage than on J-11

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER c. d. abilities, appearance, plans, etc. Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. PROV. 16:18 5. Love is not rude, sarcastic, coarse, vulgar or hurtful. God says that sinful Communication, CTO. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. EPH. 5:4 a. You must not treat your wife as an inferior person to be looked down upon, scorned or ridiculed for God has declared her as your equal in Christ. b. You must realize that she was created in the image of God and is to be c. You must not speak unwholesome words that cut her and demean her. Your transparency must not include verbalizing thoughts that are hateful. Your transparency must not include verbalizing thoughts that are meant d. You must not physically or verbally attack or threaten her. You must not try Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. COL. 3:19 6. a. J-12

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J b. pride and fear. c. dependent on her by being controlled by her or by controlling her. d. take care that your deeds, words and attitudes are motivated by love of God 7. Love is not easily angered. You must a. not physically or emotionally harm her. b. c. respond in a gentle manner to her sin or to her provocations. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. PROV. 15:1 8. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. You must a. b. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 PET. 3:9 c. forgive all d. e. realize bitterness bears destructive consequences. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and HEB. 12:15 9. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth of God s Word. J-13

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER a. b. c. in ministry, in fellowship, in family activities, in time spent with you or in leisure. d. example of rejoicing in obedience to God s Word, rather than regard biblical obedience as drudgery or as something to be resisted. 10. Love bears all things. You must a. protect her. b. c. not withdraw from her spiritually, emotionally or physically when she sins or Christ s example of love is to never leave nor forsake the believer, and therefore, you must never leave nor forsake your wife or children, Christ s example of love continues to give and to remain involved no matter what the believer s response is. Christ allows nothing to separate d. persevere in praying for and loving your chosen wife, even when love is not returned or your wife rebels. Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer... ROM. 12:9-12 NASB 11. Love believes all things. You must J-14

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J a. put the best interpretation on a situation in which your wife appears to have sinned, but she denies the sin. b. c. Choose to accept her testimony regardless of circumstantial evidence to the contrary. Believe her, unless she is proven Admonish her in love, restoring her gently if she is caught in My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. JAS. 1:19, 20 12. Love hopes all things a. previous ones. b. c. d. Continue to hope in God when circumstances appear hopeless, realizing e. Hope in God focuses on Him and His resources rather than on people Realize that if you harden your heart against your wife, you do so to protect yourself from emotional pain, which is a sinful motive. J-15

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER refuse to deal with emotional pain with God s resources. create a spiritual hardening against God and His Word, which causes Resignation is a deadening of your emotions which hardens your heart toward God and others. which deadens hope and love. 13. Love endures all things. You must a. persevere with godly attitudes through all suffering and persecution, realizing b. not retreat or stop initiating love though your efforts may be rejected. c. remain vulnerable to her, rather than being controlled by her sinful initiatives, responses or lack of transparency. d. be willing to be emotionally hurt repeatedly and to respond by persevering with humility, patience, tenderness, vulnerability and involvement with her. Therefore, as God s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. COL. 3:12-14 e. give up your perceived right to not be involved with your wife, children and responsibilities that as the leader in your home, God expects you to handle. J-16

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J f. entrust the lives of your wife and children to the Lord to whom they already belong. g. realize God will never give you more than you can bear if you draw on Christ 14. You should never fail to realize that demonstrated love of God and love for your wife will bring light into the darkest circumstances. Love never fails. 1 COR. 13:8A V. The husband is the head, the leader of his wife and family, as Christ is the head of the church. A. You are to lead your wife because this is the position already given to you by God. For the husband is the head of the wife... (Eph. 5:23) A MAN S WILLINGNESS TO BE HEAD OF HIS WIFE IS A MATTER OF SUBMISSION TO CHRIST. FOR HER TO OPPOSE HIS AUTHORITY IS TO OPPOSE GOD. FOR HIM TO REFUSE IT IS TO DISOBEY. THE MARK OF A MAN ELISABETH ELLIOT B. whom she submits. 1. You must seek God s wisdom on decisions through prayer, the Scriptures and 2. You must seek your wife s counsel and input before important decisions are 3. You must realize that even though God commands your wife to submit to you, your obedience to God is not contingent upon her submission to you. 4. You should not be controlled by fear of her rejection, of failure, of the future or of your love for God by a. b. relying on the power of the Holy Spirit to enable you to carry out godly J-17

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER c. taking the risks necessary to make and to implement godly decisions. d. forsaking your comfort zone to move into leadership. 5. You must take responsibility for the decisions you make by a. realizing if you give your wife a verbal decision which is contrary to your desire, you must not try to convince her by your sinful attitudes that you really didn t want her to do what you gave her permission to do. b. not blaming her for your c. not focusing on her sinful responses, if present, while excusing your own wrong decisions or lack of decision. d. seeking forgiveness if your decision proves to be wrong. You should not permit your wife to control future decisions because you failed. You should not allow her to repeatedly remind you of a wrong decision. e. giving her the authority, without your frequent interference, to carry out a job you delegate to her. f. realizing decision making is a skill that takes practice to become wiser. 6. You must not procrastinate on making decisions, refuse to make necessary If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks. ECCLES. 10:18 a. You should realize that no decision is a decision, and you should take decisions. You must accept the consequences of not making decisions without blaming your wife because you did not take the responsibility that God gave to you. J-18

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J b. You should not put your wife in a position to be tempted to take over your Be devoted to one another...not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord ROM. 12:10,11 NASB C. Your leadership must include an ongoing assessment of the life of your family and of situations that impact your family, as Christ is alert to the needs of His Church. 1. Be alert to changes, developments, potential and present problems. 2. Learn to think for yourself rather than relying on your wife to take the responsibility of the thinking for you a. while you ignore present and potential problems because of your b. because you don t want the hassle or discomfort of having to face and think 3. Realize your involvement in family affairs must include establishing direction and formulating plans that will encourage the family s spiritual, emotional and physical well being. Set aside time to make these plans with your wife. You are to lead by loving your wife as Christ loves the Church, which then gives you the platform 1. 2. a. a. b. You should not demand a. that she change. b. that she live biblically in ways you are not. J-19

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER c. that she submit to you. You are to encourage her by not permitting her control over you. admonishing her when needed. praising her. b. your instructing her in the Scriptures and scriptural principles. a. Your responsibility is to establish regular patterns of prayer and Scripture reading and to encourage her to follow your example. b. You should be willing to research the answers to her scriptural questions since God commands the wife to go to her husband with her questions. c. You must frequently pray for her and with her. You must spend time with her studying the Bible. discussing the Scriptures and their applications to your lives. solving problems from a biblical perspective. sharing freely how God is working in your life and what He is teaching you. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. EPH. 5:25-27 VI. You are to love her by demonstrating that your relationship with her is your top human priority. A. You must initiate, promote and foster a being relationship with your wife by J-20

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J 1. spending quality communication time, both scheduled and unscheduled, regularly and frequently. 2. being vulnerable and open with your wife by sharing feelings, burdens and joys. 3. 4. 5. not escaping involvement with her by spending too much time in pursuing ministry, a job, sports, hobbies, T.V., entertainment, etc. 6. not allowing yourself to believe that if you provide for her materially, then you have no further responsibility to develop a meaningful relationship to her. 7. creating an atmosphere of warmth, caring, relaxation, spontaneity and vulnerability in your home. B. You must initiate, promote and foster a doing relationship with your wife by 1. developing and promoting common interests. 2. while you ignore involvement with her. 3. realizing that you may need to give up perfectionist goals for your job, house or yard in order to spend more time with your wife 4. being willing to be inconvenienced for the sake of making her the most important human relationship. 5. not allowing doing things together to become a substitute for time spent cultivating a being relationship. C. You must be approachable, teachable and open to new ideas that your wife and others may share with you. You should discuss and set common goals with your wife 1. for spiritual growth. 2. for marriage and family. 3. for ministry. J-21

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER VII. The husband is to provide for and to protect his wife as Christ provides for and protects And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. PHIL. 4:19 A. 1. making sure all basic needs for physical sustenance, shelter, health and spiritual 2. 3. seeing the commitment to keep your wife in the home as a high priority. (Titus a. A younger wife should be encouraged to stay at home to care for the children. b. An older wife should be encouraged to carry out the command to her in a. She is to teach scriptural principles and their applications to younger women. b. You should realize that this is God s instruction to your wife, which is to be her priority before hobbies, career, etc. c. others through ministry in the home. d. 4. a. your role as leader in this major area of marriage. b. c. viewing all your resources as God s rather than your own. Therefore, you J-22

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J d. e. adjusting your lifestyle to your income and learning to be content so you do f. not pursuing materialistic goals or lusting for what others have. Training your g. 5. providing for some of her desires, if possible, rather than indulging your desires 6. being careful not to give too much to her monetarily or to do too much in serving responsibilities. 7. not becoming a workaholic, and thus robbing her and your children of time and the investment of yourself. B. You must teach and role model a habit of discipline and responsibility in chores, C. 1. being willing to set a good example yourself. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects 1 COR. 13:6-7A 2. being alert to what is viewed on TV and computers and what is heard on the choices of activities inside and outside of the home. 3. being alert to friends and companions you, she and other family members 4. wife and children. 5. mature in the faith and protected from Satan s harm. J-23

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER 6. 7. a. b. because of your fear of rebellion, rejection or ridicule from family members. 8. protecting your family from wrong teaching and doctrines that could corrupt 9. not harming your family members physically, spiritually or emotionally. a. Not placing unreasonable expectations and demands on them b. c. VIII. You must provide for her sexual desires in a godly, cherishing way. A. Understand God s design for the sexual experience is an act of giving to your wife, rather than merely receiving. 1. View the sexual act as an outward expression of your love toward your spouse. 2. Obey the laws of love set forth in Scripture, concerning your sexuality and the CTO: The Home. 3. the expression of love is God s goal. B. Guard your mind. 1. of sexuality. 2. Renew your mind with God s truths about sexuality and how to express it with godliness. Practice the Renewing Your Mind Outline in this manual. J-24

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J a. b. c. C. 1. 2. Honor, respect and cherish her in every area, including in the sexual a. b. You should be sensitive to not having sex if she is not feeling well or other extenuating circumstances. a. b. An occasional no from your wife should not be regarded as personal rejection. c. Your sexual desires should be under control of the Holy Spirit so that sinful attitudes do not result if your wife denies you. d. Be tender, thoughtful, godly and caring in attitude, word and deed at all times, including during times of having sex. 1. 2. Realize you cannot treat her sinfully and then expect her to desire and to enjoy sex. Therefore, you must be willing to examine your own life and to obey God in every area of relating to her. 3. Promote good communication in all areas of life, including concerns about sex. a. Encourage her to talk about what pleases or displeases her in the sexual act. J-25

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER b. Focus on giving what pleases her sexually rather than seeking to satisfy yourself. 4. E. F. her. G. H. Seek help if sexual problems persist by reading Christian books on the subject and consulting with a medical doctor. IX. The husband is to be a source of strength and dependability in times of trial as Christ is. A. Casting your burdens upon the Lord to sustain and to guide you as a leader B. C. E. Continuing to point your wife to a dependency upon God for her ultimate support rather than encouraging a sinful dependency on you F. X. God commands the husband to understand his wife and to treat her with respect and honor. You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 PET. 3:7 NASB J-26

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J A. You must live with her in an understanding, compassionate way. Therefore, you 1. is important to her. 2. 3. Encourage her to come to you concerning family matters of which she may have a greater awareness because of her time invested in the life of the home. 4. them. 5. TV or using the computer or time spent at work or in ministry, to avoid responsible leadership and building a relationship with her. 6. command her to submit to you. a. leadership in handling them. b. c. she can control and intimidate you. d. she tries to convince, nag or pressure you to act on her opinions, demands e. Hold her accountable to deal with one or two problems at a time. God does not ask His children to deal with every form of sin in their lives at once. f. Ask her to list ways someone has offended her and lead her through praying after you g. J-27

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER B. You are to not allow your sensitivity toward her to become a means by which she C. You are to be vulnerable and accountable to her while maintaining your headship. 1. Seek her help and encouragement to facilitate change in your areas of weakness and sinfulness, realizing that your sin also contributes to the marital 2. Be willing to accept and evaluate admonishment from her, without being 3. Confess your sin to her and be willing to confess your sins to God with her as a 4. habit You must be a good, attentive, involved listener Let the wise listen and add to their learning PROV. 1:5A E. You are to encourage her daily by making praise a habit. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin s deceitfulness. HEB. 3:13 1. You should commit yourself to look for ways to compliment and to praise her. a. You should frequently tell her why you love and appreciate her rather than taking her for granted. b. The commitment to praise her will help you to focus on her positive traits rather than on her negative ones. 2. You should frequently say, I love you. a. Remember, love is a commitment whether or not loving feelings are present. b. Realize the commitment to love in attitude and action will usually produce loving feelings. 3. J-28

HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER J 4. You should encourage her to admonish you or to share truth with you. When there is tension in the marriage relationship, a. ask lovingly, Have I done something to offend you? or Is something wrong? b. be willing to listen to her response without defensiveness and evaluate what she is saying. c. F. You are required by God to treat your wife with respect as a weaker vessel. (1 Pet. 1. Realize she is usually physically weaker. 2. Treat her like a lady rather than another guy or with indifference. 3. Treat her with dignity, respect and honor as she, too, is a child of God. You are not to treat her as a slave or possession, who exists to make you happy. G. You must be aware of how you, your wife and children relate. You must never 1. undermine your wife s discipline of the children. 2. ridicule or be disrespectful of her in front of the children. 3. allow your children, your parents or others to be disrespectful of her. H. will suffer the consequences of your prayers being hindered. XI. The husband is to take leadership in developing a mindset that he and his family exist to Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 PET. 4:9 A. You and your wife are to establish a home that welcomes others. 1. 2. Where a loving, accepting environment is fostered and guests are drawn into the being and doing relationships of your family J-29

J HUSBANd: SERvANT/LEAdER B. You are commanded by God to be hospitable by initiating outreach to believers, unbelievers and the needy. 1. You are to practice a lifestyle a. You are to lead, encourage and support your wife in this ministry. b. You are to impart to your children an understanding about the use of the home for God s purposes, hospitality. through encouraging the children to interact with and to serve guests. 2. You are to partner with your wife in creating a home that is a place of welcoming love! Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. 1 PET. 3:8-12 J-30