Reports from NAIKAN participants For the participants' protection there are no names published but we of course do have the original reports. For sake of the reader we shortened some reports without changing the main statement. Dear Sabine, I burn to tell you. My Naikan was in late October / early November. As you have already guessed, my Christmas - and the Christmas of the family - was different. There is relaxation with us and an atmosphere of long-awaited benevolence. Peace with my mother is constant and the relationship is normalized. We support each other and there are no more conflicts and dramas. Without HER having to change her behavior! Because I no longer presume, she does not love me. My personal development is as fast as ever, but striking is how I no longer fall into guilt or selfcompassion. Some fears I have in matters of relationships emerged again and some things I could already let go. I do not condemn me and others any more. I am much more in my life, more open to people and no longer rebel against health or financial constraints in my life. I think I fully achieved my goal to change my attitude of being victim! Taking responsibility for my experience brings new impetus and also the strength to stand up for me and my needs in a healthy way. Please send my greetings to the other guide as well! You have shown me an invaluable service Thank you thank you thank you!! (Participant 6 months after her Naikan) To Naikan I mainly came because I was tired of my attitude of being a victim. In many hours of therapy I had understood a lot, but "to understand is not equal to forgive"! To hold on to childhood traumata in my age was simply ridiculous. My victimhood has been thoroughly decomposed. Crystal clear I could see that I had really created each of my dramas myself, and whenever I stuck in a dead end caused by my selfish actions, I slipped into depression to escape the consequences. How much trouble I had caused my beloved ones thereby - and myself. The bow of the Naikan-guide before the reports of my ugliness deeply embarrassed me. At the same time it touched me: If there ever was a good thing about me, it was the courage to look at it all. A real sense of self-respect now germinates in me and I am leaving with a heart full of Sabine Kaspari Siebenellen 23 Info@Naikan-Zentrum.de D-94568 St. Oswald Mobil: 0049(0)179 209 14 39 Konto-Nr. 76 325, BLZ 740 697 44 Raiffeisenbank Grainet eg
Seite 2 von 6 gratitude for your valuable work, your delicious meals and the little extras for the physical wellbeing. Thank you, dear Sabine! "I didn't meditate often, but now I know that it is very important to do. The first days were hard for me to concentrate on meditation, to focus only on the questions. I finally got a system and then the questions changed in "lying, stealing, killing and destroying". This was very hard to do, but it gave me afterwards such enlightment. This was my breakthrough! Going back on the 3 questions wasn't giving me that joy, but I realize that I needed those previous days to meditate on my partner " "And how has it been?" my friends will ask and I will say: "good". And they will go on asking: "Didn't you become crazy - one week just in a cabin, like imprisoned?" "No", I am going to answer: "it has been ok in my small room, a very private room which only belongs to me and the Naikan teacher excuses whenever she regularly interrupts my "inner observation". And I had space. At any time I could go to take a cup of tea or fruits, went around the pond or sat in the sun under an apple tree. And what I did in my cabin was of no interest to anybody, just silent I was asked to be in order not to disturb the other participant in her "inner observation". So I could sit, lie, try out Qigong exercises. And no I know a lot of ways to lie so that the thoughts can come and go fluently. Ah yes, and to doze or sleep also makes sense." "And did it bring anything for you?" "Yes, it did. Back then Sabine has been talking about clearness. Back then that was when in no case I could decide which date in November I should take. Back then I have also been energetically stuck in other themes. She said a Naikan would not necessarily bring solutions, but clarity in any case." And so it had been - clarity. I mean, that I had been able to remove the old stories I regularly told myself... The stories of violation and deficit more and more lost their power. Different truths suddenly appeared from my inner experiencing " I came to Naikan because I want to live contented with me and the environment, my fellow men. In the beginning of the retreat I always saw the circumstances and my imagination, how it should have been. I was full of accusations against me and my past. As time passed by and with the Naikan-guides' support I simply could look, what the person had done for me, what I had done for the person and which troubles I had caused. The whole ballast of accusations and ideas how it should have been vanished and it became easy to see, that there had been done so much for me in my previous life, that I had also done a lot for the people around me. I could see the difficulties I had caused without to condemn myself. I will try to go on living with this perception "
Seite 3 von 6 "My expectations versus Naikan have been high. My friend B. reported, Naikan had not brought a lot, only a complete change of view at her life and with it life itself. I became curious and investigated on the Internet almost everything about Naikan, hoping to disclose the secret of the 3 questions - vainly. Thus I registered. I know I cannot impart experiences - knowledge and perception yes, but no experiences. And today I would answer the question: "What did Naikan give to you?" like this (doing this I smilingly have to think of my friend B.): "Not much, I only had stayed poor the way I have always been." I wish every human being the chance and enrichment to get in touch with Naikan - and through it finally with one self " "...There were moments I thought: these are the last days in my life to torture myself. After Naikan I stop to grit my teeth. And if the retreat has been no good for anything else, it was worth it. Then it yet was good for much. Very, very good......the voyage through my life from procreation until now has brought great relief. Again and again the question: What did you get from other people, situations, occasions? Not the trained view at deficits, deprivation but a bath in support, nourishing elements, in presents, in love, friendship, success - in gratitude. There are a few things to do now. Clearing interviews, excuses, devotion, words of gratitude. Possibly also the Naikan practice for one day in everyday life. The three questions can be answered also without Naikan guides. Nevertheless, during those 7 days I appreciated the attendance through the guides very much. Attendance in its pure sense. No consultation, no suggestion, no coaching questins but lovingly breaking-down-bricks, encouraging, sympathy and being there. For all this a deep bow and thank you from an open heart. I am curious about the time after Naikan." "It feels strange when somebody comes each hour, bows and excuses herself and asks for the reviewed themes and times. In the beginning I thought leave that, this is not necessary. Later on (day 3) I realized, that this behavior helped me to see, that I am doing this work by myself, for me and it is not about doing something "right". And that this behavior conveyed respect to this my work my mind had chosen to do.
Seite 4 von 6 To accept this has been difficult during the first agonizing days. The very delicious homemade food instead was like a little rescue in times I asked myself: "Why for devils sake do I do this?" So I could tell myself, at least the food was good. In the course of these 7 days these doubts about what I do here did not abate. And if it is right to torture myself with this three questions, which I began to hate at day 6. But what can be wrong with such wonderful 3 questions? Do you read them you feel, there cannot be anything wrong, nothing bad. Bad alone was the realization to feel what a hard nut my ego is. Not, that I had not known it being hard. No, this was clear to me before. But being confronted with it daily and really feel, how selfish it is, brought me to my powers edge. To recognize that I am how I am has left a deep grief and despair in me. 7 days later I stand here with these feelings. What shall it bring, where will it lead to? I do not know in this very moment. Maybe it is not important. At the moment. What I notice is, that I have been gifted a lot again and again in life - plenty - and Naikan helped me to recognize this again a bit more - especially in phases of life, I always saw as "underfed times" in review. Thank you Naikan and thank you Sabine for the lovingly attendance!" "Dear Sabine, I try to put into words which still is not palpable for me. Looking back I arrived as a physical and emotional wreck. The reason for this retreat has been that my complete situation (privately as well as professionally) was threatening to explode. I was searching for a quiet place to be away from all problems, fears and decisions which were to be made. The retreat started with a first blow, I was not allowed to speak, added with all thoughts to come thick and fast. In this week I went through my life and realized, that everything which influenced me, had been necessary to do the first step into a joyful and fulfilled life. It often caught me red-handed how unconsciously and helpless I had been in many situations. It hurts to see how sorrowless and disregardful I strolled through life. Nevertheless, each day more I found my inner peace and my emotional state improved daily. With hindsight I feel like I had been awakened from a nightmare and discover the world being so beautiful and warm I could embrace everything and hold it tight. I had been ready to release everything in my life and instead of falling I experienced wealth, fortune and harmony. Thank you from all my heart that you attended me on this way." " My whole life I have been eager not to cause any difficulties. I always tried to make it right for everybody - specially my parents. I went so far to suppress my own wishes and needs until I even did not feel them anymore. Through the Naikan experience I learned that it is not possible not to cause difficulties and circumstances no matter how much I try to avoid them.
Seite 5 von 6 At the time being I am aware which difficulties I cause and see, that some of them even have positive influences on people. My sometimes brutal honesty, for instance, has brought some people to think differently about various cases. Now, I watch my actions, act more thoughtfull and enjoy this new freedom " "My life's energy had been lost. The Naikan-Retreat gave me time to reflect on my past. In the future I will better accept accomplished facts, reduce my expectation and with the new direction of view give prominence to the positive. Through the new outlook at family, body and work I try to find peace. Now I have a better feeling and sense more gratitude. Many thanks for the possibility to make this experience and for the loving care during this week! "If you judge people, there is no time left to love them." (Mother Theresa)" "As the Naikan-Retreat had been established beside other courses in a group of friends of mine in Japan, my interested had been wakening. For many years I already had had contact with minds which are focused on being able to accept facts and because of this are able to live a life in friendship with themselves and others. But I also felt, that all the time I missed the facts which caused me enormous problems and really poisoned my human relations. That time I had been totally unaware of how much I caused problems to others, that I even did cause problems. By all means I had no idea what I was sending out. As my friends were developing in a direction I often thought I would like to join and I trusted them, I signed into this Naikan-Retreat. Nobody had advised me to do so, nobody had invited or pushed me or whatever. I went on my own will and was very pleased to being able to do this week in Germany in my own language... To work with this three questions "What did this person for me?", "What did I do for this person?" and "What problems did I cause this person?" were as difficult and as simple as I had imagined. No, of course not and still yes! Maybe like this: Each day I only had to face myself with these three questions about very concrete situations like someone could for instance ask me: "What is your name?", "Where do you live?" or "How old are you?" There was nothing else to do (food had been cooked and brought to my cabin, bed was covered - with rose-design, there were tea and sweets, a bathroom, a guide who regularly asked me, what I was reflecting on), so, there was absolutely everything there for me to simply concentrate on the 3 questions. But - but - but - it took days until I began to start with what I should do: Look. Ask 3 questions, to myself and look
Seite 6 von 6 Many thanks, Sabine, that you were there to care that I could look. Real tough work, you have no idea how important and decisive your job had been! Fact is, without you there would not have been Naikan for me, many thanks for this......i promise from now on to look and ask myself: "What really is there now?" and will look at, really look at, respect and love my mother, my father, my sisters and brothers, friends, my children and all people I meet. I promise never stop trying to become a better human being and try to watch others instead of judging about and criticizing them. "All there is, is done by myself." "Having no idea what Naikan is, I expected everything possible. That the whole thing is that unspectacular was very surprising. The quiet but ascertained way, Sabine guided us and the comfortable ambience made it easy to let go and dive into this new experience. Impressive, how easy and fast one could look inside himself and what this brought to light..." "Assignments of depth and reproaches, even pure hatred came up in me regularly facing the three Naikan-questions. Had I done nothing else than to protect myself, set up boundaries and put paid to expectations of others. Like this I had often seen conflicts in relationships. But where was my part? Which expectations did I have against others? Where did I get to the limits of personal responsibility? About this I was thinking for a weekend at Sabine Kaspari. Recommendable on one hand the seminar house, renovated with much love for details and on the other hand the delicious cuisine. Personally, most of all I have been impressed by the respectful atmosphere and value-free acceptance of my themes. Thank you!"