Welcome Guide for Interfaith Families

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Welcome Guide for Interfaith Families Congregation Beth Shalom extends a warm welcome to interfaith couples and families who are seeking a connection to Judaism -- God, Torah and Israel and are interested in participating in the spiritual and social life of the Congregation. This includes persons who have decided to draw near to the people Israel, Jews and those thinking about or working towards becoming a Jew-by-choice. This brochure offers an introduction to some of the principles and practices of Congregation Beth Shalom within the framework of the Conservative Movement as they affect interfaith couples and their families.

Beth Shalom Beth Shalom is an egalitarian Conservative congregation with a rich heritage in the Kansas City metropolitan area beginning in 1878. The Congregation is dedicated to cultivating, developing and sustaining Judaism in accordance with the philosophy and standards of the Conservative Movement. The Congregation furthers its goals through offerings of religious services, life cycle events and programs. These cover a wide spectrum of Jewish religious, cultural, educational and social practices. The Congregation Beth Shalom community and its clergy welcome interfaith couples and families to participate in synagogue activities. In this spirit, we believe we can all learn together and grow as a welcoming congregation. We encourage dialogue and are happy to discuss any issue or answer any question about Judaism and the Jewish people. A list of Beth Shalom contacts is at the back of this brochure. Keruv The word בורק keruv literally drawing near is the Conservative Movement s outreach to persons who, in many important and life-altering ways, have cast their lot with the people Israel but who have chosen not to become Jewish formally. Keruv at Beth Shalom has the full support of its clergy and Board of Directors. Programs for Interfaith Couples and Families: Genesis and Mothers Circle offer a variety of programs to help couples and families address areas of concern unique to interfaith relationships and to explore and understand their relationship to Judaism and the Jewish community. All programs are open to the community. For information contact Rabbi Linda Steigman, MSS, Genesis Interfaith Outreach Coordinator, 913.754.2284, email: lindas@jewishkc.org Online Resources: Jewish Outreach Institute www.joi.org E-mail: info@joi.org Interfaith Family.com www.interfaithfamily.com The mission of the Keruv Initiative is to develop programs for making Beth Shalom a welcoming congregation to interfaith couples and their immediate and extended families. In actualizing its mission, the Keruv Initiative focuses on educating the Congregation on the parameters of keruv within the Conservative Movement and developing relationships between interfaith families and Judaism. Any interested person may contact any member of the Keruv Initiative whose names and telephone numbers are listed at the back of this brochure. The members of the Initiative are interested in what you have to say and will assist in making your relationship with Beth Shalom a positive, growth experience in whatever capacity you choose. 2 9

Resources for Interfaith Information Jewish Community Information & Referral 5801 W. 115th Street, Suite 201 913.327.4636 Fax: 913.327.8110 E-mail: jcir@jewishkc.org Jewish Family Services 5801 W. 115th Street, Suite 103 913.327.8250 Fax: 913.327.8222 E-mail: info@jfs-kc.org www.jfs-kc.org Jewish Community Center 5801 W. 115th Street, Suite 101 913.327.8000 Fax: 913.327.8040 www.jcckc.org Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City 5801 W. 115th Street, Suite 201 913.327.8100 Fax: 913.327.8110 www.jewishkansascity.org Worship Services When attending worship services, the following guidelines apply. Anyone may sit anywhere in the sanctuary. All men must wear a kippah (head covering) at services. It is traditional to also wear a kippah during other activities while in the synagogue building. Kippot are available inside the entrances to the synagogue and outside the sanctuary. During morning services, Jewish men wear a tallit (prayer shawl) after the age of bar mitzvah. Any woman may choose to wear a kippah or other head covering and, women over the age of bat mitzvah, a tallit. Women must wear an appropriate head covering when called to the bimah (pulpit). A tallit is not worn by non-jews. All may participate in all prayers as part of the Congregation. During services, some congregants are called to the bimah for an aliyah (honor). In conformity with Conservative halacha (Jewish law), only a Jew may be called to the bimah for an aliyah because the aliyah is in fulfillment of a command placed upon Jews by God. The non-jewish member may accompany the Jewish member to the bimah at all times and participate independently from the bimah in all prayers and rituals except chanting the Hebrew blessings before and after the formal reading from Torah (The Five Books of Moses), reading or chanting from the Sefer Torah (Torah scroll), reading or chanting a haftarah (a reading from the prophets), and hagba and galilah (raising and dressing the Sefer Torah after a formal reading). Marriage Congregation Beth Shalom encourages interfaith couples who are considering marriage to speak with the clergy. Our clergy are very interested in meeting with interfaith couples and providing guidance. Under Conservative halachic principles, our clergy do not officiate at interfaith weddings. In Judaism there is a tradition known as aufruf where the bride and groom are called to the bimah for an aliyah and blessing on the Sabbath before their wedding. The Jewish member of the couple may have the aliyah. The non-jewish member may accompany him/her to the bimah and receive the blessing. 8 3

Children's Religious Identity The Conservative Movement follows the halacha of matrilineal descent; that is, a child s religious identify is determined by the mother s. Beth Shalom encourages all interfaith parents to raise their children as Jews. There are opportunities at Beth Shalom and local agencies to assist parents with issues that arise when an interfaith family decides to raise their children as Jews. The Beth Shalom clergy plays an active role assisting interfaith couples in this very important journey. Baby Naming Names in Judaism are of extreme importance and baby naming is a recognized life cycle event. Baby girls are often named in the synagogue during a weekday minyan (quorum for public prayer). Boys are usually named at the brit milah (ritual circumcision) which is often in the home of the parents or a relative or friend of the family. When a baby is named in the synagogue, it is traditional for both parents, regardless of religion, to participate by being called to the bimah for a special blessing. At the naming ceremony, the child is given a Hebrew name. Nursery School All children are welcome in the Beth Shalom Nursery School which strives to imbue our children with a love for the Jewish people and our traditions, rituals and fundamentals of faith. Our nursery school classes celebrate Sabbath every Friday with prayers over wine and challah (braided, holiday bread). They hear the sound of the shofar (ram's horn) before Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish new year). They eat in a sukkah (temporary dwelling) during the holiday of Sukkot commemorating the wandering in the desert following the departure from Egypt. They light Chanukah candles commemorating the victory of the Macabees over the attempted Hellenization of Eretz Yisrael (land of Israel). They dress in costume on Purim commemorating Queen Esther s saving of the Jews from destruction by Haman, an Assyrian Grand Vizier, i.e., one with absolute political power. They study the exodus from Egypt and participate in model seders (Passover meals). All children in the nursery school share in these experiences. Congregation Beth Shalom Contact Information Lamar Campus Address: 14200 Lamar Ave. Overland Park, KS 66223 Wornall Campus Address: 9400 Wornall Road Kansas City, MO 64114 Administrative Office: 913.647.7279 Ritual Office 913.647.7279 School Office: 913.647.7286 Youth Lounge: 913.647.7292 Nursery School: 913.647.7285 Gift Shop: 913.647.7298 Fax (Administration): 913.647.7277 Fax (School): 913.647.7278 General Email: info@bethshalomkc.org Keruv Initiative Contacts Rabbi Alan Cohen 913.642.0572 Sharon Cohen 913.338.2544 Jannie Cubbage 913.851.7911 Kyla Hartong 913.219.8340 Alan Jacobson 913.649.9895 Stephen Kort 816.661.2921 Margot Menes 913.766.6194 Allan Reichman 913.649.0887 Sylvan Siegler 816.942.3670 Rabbi Robert L. Tobin 913.647.7294 4 7

Conversion Because the Conservative Movement adheres to matrilineal descent, only the child of a Jewish mother is considered Jewish. The requirements for conversion of a child are immersion in a mikvah (ritual bath), affirmation of both parents to raise the child as a Jew and, for a boy, a brit milah (ritual circumcision). A baby naming can be performed after conversion. Adult conversion requires a period of study under the supervision of a rabbi. Upon completion of study, one appears before a beit din (Jewish court) and is immersed in a mikvah. In addition, a man undergoes a hatafat dam brit (symbolic circumcision) if a medical circumcision has already been performed. Upon satisfactory completion of these requirements, the individual is a member of the Jewish community. Religious School The Beth Shalom religious school is open to children of all members until the age of bar/bat mitzvah, 13 years of age. Beginning with approximately the seventh grade, parents must decide whether their child will become a bar/bat mitzvah. Only Jewish children may become a bar/bat mitzvah and continue in the religious school. Bar/Bat Mitzvah The bar/bat mitzvah marks the transition from childhood to adulthood for purposes of religious law. The bar/bat mitzvah (as the child is called) participates from the bimah leading many parts of the service. Both parents have opportunities to participate in aspects of the bar/bat mitzvah, including saying a parent s blessing over the bar/bat mitzvah. At the time of bar/bat mitzvah, the clergy will assist the interfaith family in determining how the parents will participate. Sisterhood Beth Shalom Sisterhood is a gateway into Jewish life for Jewish women and women married to Jews. Sisterhood is a resource providing the knowledge, skill and experience necessary to foster a Jewish home and lifestyle. The commitment to understand and perpetuate Conservative Judaism in the home, synagogue and community is the goal of Sisterhood. Burial Respect for the dead and comfort for the bereaved are two principles guiding Jewish practice in death. Under current Conservative halacha, each Congregation may decide whether Jews and non-jews can be buried together in a Jewish cemetery. Congregation Beth Shalom is currently reviewing its policy. Additional information pertaining to death and mourning customs is available through the Ritual Office. 6 5