Healthy and Holy Relationship Concept: Mercy and Forgiveness

Healthy and Holy Relationship Concept: Mercy and Forgiveness Catechist Reflection Page When one is looking at the topic of safe environment, we need to consider how we keep our children, youth and teens safe in various settings and situations. While it is the adults that need to protect all our young people, young people can be empowered and encouraged to learn ways to avoid unfavorable situations, to stop when feeling unsafe, and tell a parent or trusted adult so they can help. This applies especially in our relationships. To build positive, healthy relationships, one needs to develop the virtue of forgiveness and mercy throughout our daily life. This lesson cannot cover all on the topic of mercy and forgiveness. It is a start, hoping it encourages more learning and practice to nurture this virtue in all our relationships with God, with others, and with ourselves. Reflection for Catechist ~~ Before teaching this lesson, the first step in preparing the lesson is to take some time to reflect on the relationships in our own life. This is the foundation for the lesson. Consider your relationships Vol. 3, Issue 1 Grades 6 8 Mercy and Forgiveness 101 Review this information to familiarize yourself with topic concepts as you prepare to teach this lesson. These points were taken from Pope Francis Bull of Indiction of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy. Searching the internet with the title Misericordiae Vultus will allow you to read the entire document, if you desire. Do they help you be a better person or hold you down? How have you handled hurts in these relationships? How does your faith help you deal with these hurts? Remember a time -you asked for forgiveness -you forgave another -How did you feel? Thoughts to Consider: Healthy relationships are holy relationships. Our relationship with God is reflected in our relationship with others. Our relationship with others is reflected in our relationship with God. This is reflected in the Great Commandment: Jesus replied, The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mk. 12: 29-31) Jesus Christ is the face of the Father s mercy. We need constantly to contemplate the mystery of mercy. It is a wellspring of joy, serenity, and peace Our salvation depends on it. Mercy: the bridge that connects God and man, opening our hearts to the hope of being loved forever despite our sinfulness. At times we are called to gaze even more attentively on mercy so that we may become a more effective sign of the Father s action in our lives. Mercy will always be greater than any sin, and no one can place limits on the love of God who is ever ready to forgive. May the balm of mercy reach everyone, both believers and those far away, as a sign that the Kingdom of God is already present in our midst! Patient and merciful. These words often go together in the Old Testament to describe God s nature. In a special way the Psalms bring to the fore the grandeur of his merciful action (Psalms 103 146, 147, 136). The mercy of God is not an abstract idea, but a concrete reality with which he reveals his love as of that of a father or a mother, moved to the very depths out of love for their child. In the parables devoted to mercy, we find the core of the Gospel and of our faith, because mercy is presented as a force that overcomes everything, filling the heart with love and bringing consolation through pardon. Jesus affirms that mercy is not only an action of the Father, it becomes a criterion for ascertaining who his true children are. In short, we are called to show mercy because mercy has first been shown to us. Love is what brings us closest to God. Forgiveness makes us resemble Him by virtue of being an act of love. - Pope Francis, His Life in His Own Words Page 1

Healthy and Holy Relationship Concept: Mercy and Forgiveness Overview Vol. 3, Issue 1 Grades 6 8 This lesson is designed for use during a class session in January/February. It presents information on some ways that our faith life can help us build qualities of right relationships. This lesson stresses that God loves each one of us always as we are special to him. When we do something unloving, he is always ready with his unlimited mercy and forgiveness. We can receive his mercy and forgiveness in our relationship with him, especially through the sacrament of Reconciliation. We can also prayer to him and tell him we are truly sorry for what we have done, that we will try not to do it again, and try to do something to make it right with the person we hurt. As children grow, learn and mature in building healthy relationships with others, they will continue to learn, practice, and exhibit the importance of mercy and forgiveness with their relationships with God and others. Forgiving others does not mean that we let others hurt us. An environment of open communication encourages children to communicate their thoughts and feelings appropriately and seek help from parents and other trusted adults when feeling others are hurting them or pressuring them to break the rules. Goal: Explore using the Works of Mercy to develop our authenticity as disciples of Jesus, and of our credibility as Christians in today s world. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. - Luke 6:36 Session Outline Opening Prayer (2 min) Works of Mercy lesson focus and Activity worksheets together (47 min) Summarize Session (8 min) Closing Prayer (3 min) Session Objectives: Defining the terms of forgiveness and mercy. Learning and exploring the Works of Mercy as a measure of our authenticity as disciples of Jesus. Using the Works of Mercy to develop our living as Christians in the world today. Forgiving others does not mean that we let others hurt us. You need to ask your parents or another trusted adult for help. II. What Are God s Rules? A Reference for the Lesson, as needed. Share with the class: God gave Moses the 10 Commandments to help guide our lives and how to show our love to God and others. (Give an example of one or two commandments.) One of the scribes asked Jesus, Which is the first of all the commandments? Jesus replied, The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mk. 12: 29-31) These are what are known as the Greatest Commandments. I. Opening Prayer Share: Jesus taught us to ask for mercy and forgiveness and to forgive others in the Lord s Prayer. When we love and forgive others, we are followers of Jesus. Our Father Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES, AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen. Supplies Pens or pencils for each Activities / Hand Outs Activity Worksheets (2) Works of Mercy (Corporal Works and Spiritual Works). May make copies for each of the two sections Act of Sorrow and How to Celebrate Reconciliation (pg. 6). Some materials created by Diocese of Grand Island. Used with permission. Additional materials developed by Diocese of Rapid City. Credit is also given to Loyola Press for How to Make a Good Confession and parts of pg. 7. Page 2

Page 3 III. LESSON: Works of Mercy Introduction Ask: How would you define forgiveness? As individuals work at sharing definitions, bring in the concept that forgiveness is a conscious decision to release feelings of hurt, resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you. Discuss: When you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it does not necessarily restore the relationship always, or release them from legal accountability. In abusive relationships, you need to get away and ask your parents or a trusted adult for help. Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from bitter anger by letting go of deeply held negative feelings. It empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you; this enables you to heal and move on with your life. Lesson Development Share: Although some of us may have asked for God s mercy because we are afraid of incurring his wrath as punishment for our sins, this is not our Church s understanding of God s mercy. Rather, when we call on God to have mercy, we call on God in the only way we know him as one who lovingly responds with compassion to those in need. From this we learn that mercy involves being compassionate and forgiving. This is the experience we have in celebrating the sacrament of Reconciliation. When we show mercy to others, we are responding as God responds, with compassionate forgiveness. (Catechism of the Catholic Church Mercy: the loving kindness, compassion, or forbearance shown to one who offends (1422, 1829).) For years we have been using the Ten Commandments as our go to source for an examination of our conscience before Reconciliation. It is a great foundation to use; it is not the only source one may use. As we mature and grow in our faith, we can look at other ways to examine our conscience and how we have been living our daily Christian lives. With this being the Jubilee Year of Mercy, it is an opportunity to consider other ways, as shared below. Share/Stress with class: This excerpt is from Pope Francis message setting the theme of the Krakow World Youth Day 2016 I always like to link the Gospel Beatitudes with Matthew 25, where Jesus presents us with the works of mercy and tells us that we will be judged on them. I ask you, then, to rediscover the corporal works of mercy: to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, assist the sick, visit the imprisoned and bury the dead. Nor should we overlook the spiritual works of mercy: to counsel the doubtful, teach the ignorant, admonish sinners, comfort the sorrowful, forgive offences, patiently bear with troublesome people and pray to God for the living and the dead. As you can see, mercy does not just imply being a good person nor is it mere sentimentality. It (mercy) is the measure of our authenticity as disciples of Jesus, and of our credibility as Christians in today s world. If you want me to be very specific, I would suggest that for the first seven months of 2016 you choose a corporal and a spiritual work of mercy to practice each month. IV. Activity Worksheet Share: The Holy Father s invitation to choose the Corporal Works and Spiritual works of mercy is a wonderful idea for each of us both challenging and inspiring to accept his suggestion and use it during this Jubilee Year of Mercy. (Catechist: There are two sheets to give each student. This activity may be done as a large group, or in smaller groups, and then shared depending on the time you have. Also decide as a class does each person pick their own month to do which Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy, or as a class, so everyone works on the same that month?). You will each be given two sheets, one with the Corporal Works of Mercy, the second with the Spiritual Works of Mercy. For each one, we will share ideas how we can demonstrate that work of mercy as a middle schooler. Please write down the ideas shared that you like on each one. This will then by your guide as you will then pick an idea (or more) to do for that work of mercy. You can also write the month down for each. So each month (Jan July 2016) you will be doing one Corporal and one Spiritual Work of Mercy throughout the month. Challenge yourself!

Page 4 WORKS OF MERCY On these two pages you are given are listed the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. As directed by your teacher, for each one, list some ways you can do works of mercy in your present life. Later you can choose one (or more than one) Corporal Work of Mercy and one (or more than one) Spiritual Work of Mercy to do each month for that month as Pope Francis has suggested (January July 2016). There is a place to enter the name of the month for each work of mercy. CORPORAL WORKS OF MERCY The Corporal Works of Mercy are kind acts by which we help our neighbors with their everyday material and physical needs. 1. Month: FEED THE HUNGRY. 2. Month: GIVE DRINK TO THE THIRSTY. 3. Month: CLOTHE THE NAKED. (GIVE ALMS TO THE POOR.) 4. Month: SHELTER THE HOMELESS. 5. Month: VISIT THE SICK. 6. Month: : VISIT THE IMPRISONED (PRISONERS). 7. Month: BURY THE DEAD.

Page 5 WORKS OF MERCY On these two pages you are given are listed the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. As directed by your teacher, for each one, list some ways you can do works of mercy in your present life. Later you can choose one (or more than one) Corporal Work of Mercy and one (or more than one) Spiritual Work of Mercy to do each month for that month as Pope Francis has suggested (January July 2016). There is a place to enter the name of the month for each work of mercy. SPIRITUAL WORKS OF MERCY The Spiritual Works of Mercy are kind acts by which we help our neighbors with their everyday spiritual and emotional needs. 1. Month: COUNSEL THE DOUBTFUL. 2. Month: TEACH THE IGNORANT. 3. Month: ADMONISH SINNERS. 4. Month: COMFORT THE SORROWFUL. 5. Month: FORGIVE OFFENSES (INJURIES). 6. Month: : BEAR WRONGS PATIENTLY. 7. Month: PRAY FOR THE LIVING AND THE DEAD.

Page 6 V. Summarize lesson s key points: Defining the terms of forgiveness and mercy. Learning and exploring the Works of Mercy as a measure of our authenticity as disciples of Jesus. Using the Works of Mercy to develop our living as Christians in the world today. Forgiving others does not mean that we let others hurt us. You need to ask your parents or another trusted adult for help. When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me. Then the righteous * will answer him and say, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you? And the king will say to them in reply, Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me. Then he will say to those on his left, Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me. Then they will answer and say, Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs? He will answer them, Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me. And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life. Matthew 25:31-46 NOTE: (Optional) We did not stress the celebration of the sacrament of Reconciliation in this Safe Environment lesson. However, you may use the two sections below to copy and then make up and run copies for students that may want them. It will help to give them the steps on one side, and the Act of Sorrow on the other as a quarter-page card. VI. Closing Prayer We learn this prayer in preparation of our First Reconciliation, yet it is a prayer that we should learn and pray daily, asking for God s forgiveness. If students do not know the prayer, do it as an echo prayer, saying each phrase or line, and then having them repeat it. Act of Sorrow My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In His name, my God, have mercy. Amen. How to Celebrate Reconciliation Before celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation, be sure to prepare with an examination of conscience. The Sacrament of Reconciliation includes the following steps: 1. The priest greets you, and you pray the Sign of the Cross. He invites you to trust in God. He may read God's Word. 2. Tell how long since your last confession. You confess your sins. The priest may help and counsel you. 3. The priest gives you a penance to perform. Penance is an act of kindness or prayers to pray, or both. 4. The priest asks you to express your sorrow, usually by reciting the Act of Contrition. 5. You receive absolution (forgiveness). The priest says, I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. You respond, Amen. 6. The priest dismisses us by saying, Go in peace. You reply, Thanks be to God. You go forth to perform the penance you received. http://www.loyolapress.com/steps-of-the-sacrament-of-penance-andreconciliation.htm

Page 7 Catechist support page: This page is for support to use with the student activity on the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Give the students wait time to have them share their ideas. If they get stuck then you can offer one or two ideas from the listing here for each work of mercy. It may spark other ideas from them... CORPORAL WORKS OF MERCY 1. FEED THE HUNGRY. Make sandwiches and pass them out to the homeless. Help at home with the proper nutrition of your family. Keep a list of local food banks and soup kitchens ready to give to those you encounter in town who could use them. Volunteer at a food bank; or serve at a homeless shelter. Give to a food drive. Share your lunch with another who forgot or still hungry. 2. GIVE DRINK TO THE THIRSTY. Pass out water bottles to the homeless. Take a cold glass of water to a neighbor doing yard work. Donate baby formula to those in need. Work a drink station at a local charity race/event. Help to raise funds to build wells for those in need of water. Make an effort to not waste water when you use/drink it. 3. CLOTHE THE NAKED. Go through your closet and give away what you don t need. Host a clothing drive and donate the items. Knit, crochet, or sew baby blankets for your local BirthRite. Knit, crochet, or sew scarves, hats, and gloves, or have a drive for those in need of these items; coat drive. Score some sweet deals at garage sales and give the items to a homeless shelter or other needs in the area. 4. SHELTER THE HOMELESS. Volunteer as a group w/ chaperones to help in the upkeep of a homeless shelter/ person s home in need. Keep a list of local homeless shelters on give to one in need. Help neighbor in need care for their home/yard. Send a care package, etc. for requested needs to the church/ shelter/center. Help a family working towards adoption by hosting a fundraiser. 5. VISIT THE SICK. Volunteer to call Bingo at a nursing home, or in other ways. Send flowers or a card, or a call to someone you know who is in the hospital or nursing home. Visit, if possible. Help prepare a meal for a sick neighbor with your family. Visit an elderly or ill member of your family, neighborhood, or parish. Offer to do an errand for them! 6. VISIT THE IMPRISONED. Visit or do a kind deed for a neighbor/shut-in with others. Donate bibles and/or spiritual reading materials to a prison. Mentor a child with their schoolwork. Support those when they ask that are in the jail ministry. SPIRITUAL WORKS OF MERCY 1. COUNSEL THE DOUBTFUL. Work at being optimistic and avoiding cynicism with others and yourself; Respond to cynicism and doubt with hope and gratitude; Support a friend who is struggling; share/find information to help Ask people about their hopes and encourage them; share yours. Comment and encourage others positively on their good deeds! 2. TEACH THE IGNORANT. Commit yourself to learning about the Catholic faith and share your understanding with others who welcome it; Share your insights, knowledge, and skills with others, especially friends, fellow students, coworkers; Take time to tutor one who is just beginning to learn new tasks; Invite someone to go to Mass with you this weekend. 3. ADMONISH SINNERS. Intervene in situations in which people are clearly doing harm to themselves or others; contact others for help (e.g. bullying). Respond to negative and prejudicial comments with positive statements; Put an end to gossip by walking away; set a good example for others Be supportive and encourage others trying to make a positive change. 4. COMFORT THE SORROWFUL. Help your family make a meal for another in difficult times; Offer words of encouragement to those who seem discouraged; Offer positive words to fellow students who are having a difficult time; Lend an listening ear, and be present to those who are struggling or in emotional pain or despair; Offer sympathy to those who are grieving; send a card or letter. 5. FORGIVE OFFENSES. Pray for those who have wronged you and pray for the courage to forgive; Ask forgiveness from others; try to make amends. Let go of grudges; go out of your way to be positive with someone you are having a difficult time with. Participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation 6. BEAR WRONGS PATIENTLY. Overlook minor flaws and mistakes; Give people the benefit of the doubt; be less critical of others; Assume that people who may have hurt you did so because they are enduring pain of their own; replace bitterness with gratitude. Pray for those who have wronged you; and patience for you. 7. BURY THE DEAD. Attend wakes and/or funerals. Help a widow /widower in need with yard work or errands. Send a card to someone that recently lost a loved one. 7. PRAY TO GOD FOR THE LIVING AND THE DEAD. Attend wake or funeral, and pray for the person and family. Remember others in your prayers living and dead Ask others if you may pray for their intentions/needs.

A Note to Parents Page 8 This week we discussed the Right Relationship concept of mercy and forgiveness in the context of our religious education lesson. We discussed how God forgives our sins and calls us to forgive one another. In younger grades (PreSchool-2) we discussed ways to show we are sorry, including apologizing, trying not to sin again and doing something to make things right. They were reminded that God wants them to be safe, and it was stressed that forgiving others does not mean letting others hurt us. Children were encouraged to tell their parents or another trusted adult If they are being hurt If someone keeps doing something after being asked to stop or after they say they are sorry. If someone won t forgive them. Intermediate students (grades 3-5) were encouraged to think of sin as something that damages a relationship with God with others within ourselves They were encouraged to communicate feelings of remorse and do something to fix the relationship. I-feel statements were practiced as a good way to communicate feelings and ask for help in reconciling relationships. They also were encouraged to let their parents or another trusted adult know if they are being hurt in a relationship. Older students (grades 6-8) were encouraged to explore and learn more about the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy (Matthew 25:31-46) as: A measure of our authenticity as disciples of Jesus A way to develop our living as Christians in the world today A set of tools to develop ways one can complete these works as a middle school youth. They inspected the terms forgive and mercy from a greater view as God asks us to forgive others as he has forgiven us. Forgiving others does not mean we let others hurt us. They were encouraged to ask their parent or a trusted adult for help if they are being hurt in a relationship. At the high school level (9-12) we discussed how forgiving others means not holding a grudge and not letting the mistakes of others define our relationship with them. If we are open to receive God's love, then we can enter relationships of giving and receiving love with others. If this is the type of relationship we have, then forgiveness should naturally be a part of that relationship. High school students were reminded that forgiving others does not mean giving up our values, allowing ourselves to be hurt, or accepting blame that does not belong to us. Youth were encouraged to seek help if they are being hurt physically, emotionally, or sexually in a relationship. They were encouraged to confide in a friend, talk to their parents, or tell another trusted adult if they have been hurt even if the other person acts remorseful as the cycle of abuse and control is difficult to break without help. It is in the home that we learn to receive, to appreciate life as a blessing and to realize that we need one another to move forward. It is in the home that we experience forgiveness, that we are continually asked to forgive and to grow. In the home there is no room for putting on masks : We are who we are, and in one way or another we are called to do our best for others. Pope Francis, speaking at a Meeting with Families during his visit to Cuba