ultio deorum (The revenge of the gods) Scene 1. The god Jupiter, three goddesses Juno, Venus and Minerva and the goddess Fortuna playing with her puppets. Venus: Minerva: quid facis Iuppiter? cur iratus es? mortales iterum spectas? What are you doing Jupiter? Are you watching the mortals again? ita vero mea columba. barbari sunt. Yes, my dove. They are barbarous. (Fortuna: pugna! pugna! Fight! Fight!) et ignavi. semper bibunt, numquam laborant. mortales tibi placent Venus? And lazy. Always drinking, never working. Do the mortals please you Venus? (Fortuna: vinum! euge! Wine! Hooray!) minime! semper contentiones habent, amorem spernunt. et tu Minerva? No! They are always having arguments, they reject love. And you Minerva? (Fortuna: te non amo! caudex es! I don t love you! You re a blockhead!) minime! stulti sunt. res utiles non faciunt. No! They are stupid. They make nothing useful. (Fortuna: non intellego. asinus sum. I don t understand. I m an ass) satis! ego mortales punire volo. Enough! I want to punish the mortals. 3 goddesses: quid facere vis Iuppiter? What do you want to do Jupiter? Fortuna: meus frater Pluto solus est. comitem et custodem cupit. My brother Pluto is alone. He desires a companion and a guardian. sed mortales in terra mortuorum manere non possunt. But mortals cannot stay in the land of the dead. ita vero Iuno. sed immortales possunt. ubi est Fortuna? Indeed Juno. But immortals can. Where is Fortuna? adsum Iuppiter! tempus ludere! Here I am Jupiter! Time to play!
Scene 2 in villa. Metella, Melissa, Quintus, Fortuna (no lines). ubi est Quintus Melissa? Where is Quintus, Melissa? in taberna heri erat. in cubiculo dormit. Yesterday he was in the inn. He is sleeping in his bedroom. meus filius semper in taberna est! semper dormit! My son is always in the inn! He is always sleeping! cur clamorem facis mater? cur tu me vexas? Why are you making such a racket mother? Why are you annoying me? cotidie tu me vexas Quinte. quaere tuum patrem - novum servum cupio! You annoy me every day Quintus. Find your father I want a new slave. ita vero Quinte. diligenter laboro. magnum servum volumus! Yes, Quintus. I am working so hard. We want a big slave! ita vero Melissa! magnum et validum servum cupio! tuus pater pecuniam habet. abi! Yes, Melissa! I want a big, strong slave! Your father has money. Go! ubi est pater? Where is father? in foro laborat. He is working in the forum. pater laborat? Father works? Caecilius argentarius est Quinte. abi! quam celerrime! Caecilius is a banker Quintus. Go! Quickly! Scene 3 in foro. Caecilius, Quintus, Hermogenes, Pluto, Fortuna (no lines) eheu! meus filius advenit. pecuniam tibi non do. Oh no! My son is coming. I m not giving you money.
ego iam multam pecuniam habeo pater. sed mater novum servum cupit. I already have lots of money father. But mother wants a new slave. sed ancillam habet qui diligenter laborat. But she has a slave-girl who works hard. ita vero, sed magnum et validum servum volunt. Yes, but they want a big, strong slave. Pluto gestures and they notice him. ubi est sol? nox est? Where is the sun? Is it night-time? quis es tu? pecuniam quaeris? Who are you? Do you want money? pecuniam non volo. I do not want money. Enter Hermogenes Hermogenes: sed ego pecuniam quaero amice! mercator Graecus sum. pecuniam semper reddo. But I want money friend! I am a Greek merchant. I always return money. Caecilius hands over money and Hermogenes runs away. eheu pater! stultissimus es! Hermogenem non agnoscis? Oh no father! You are very stupid! Do you not recognise Hermogenes? non iterum! hic mercator mendax est! furcifer! Not again! This merchant is a liar! Scoundrel! ego ad portum festino. mecum venis? I am hurrying to the harbour. Are you coming? Caecilius goes with Quintus, Pluto and Fortuna follow.
Scene 4 in portu. Syphax, Caecilius, Quintus, Poppaea, Pluto and Fortuna (no lines) ubi est sol? nox est? (to Pluto) quis es tu? servum quaeris? Where is the sun? Is it night-time? Who are you? Are you looking for a slave? servum non volo. I do not want a slave. sed ego servum quaero. But I want a slave. vinum! ecce! ancillam pulchram habeo. Poppaea cenam optimam coquit. Poppaea linguam Latinam discit. Poppaea docta est Wine! Look! I have a beautiful slave-girl. Poppaea cooks very well, Poppaea learns the Latin language, Poppaea is learned satis! (hands over money) Enough! eheu pater! stultissimus es! Syphacem non agnoscis? Oh no father! You are very stupid. Do you not recognise Syphax? non iterum! hic venalicius avarus est! furcifer! Not again! This slave-dealer is greedy! Scoundrel! ad tabernam festino. mecum venis? I am hurrying to the inn. Are you coming with me? They all follow to the inn. Scene 5 in taberna. All guests enter in drunken party style, dice-throwing etc. Clemens: salve Clemens. vinum! Greetings Clemens! Wine! tu nimium bibes domine. You drink too much master. ita vero Clemens. nimium bibo... et dominus sum. vinum caupo! Yes, Clemens. I drink too much and I am the master. Wine inn-keeper!
omnes: caupo: euge! Hooray! multam pecuniam habeo! fortuna me favet! I have much money! Fortune favours me! Fortuna: et ego sum Fortuna. And I am Fortune! (she throws the dice) They fall silent. Melissa, Metella and Poppaea enter. Poppaea: Grumio: Alexander: ubi est Caecilius? in taberna es? caudex! Where is Caecilius? Are you in the inn? Blockhead! ubi est Clemens? in taberna es? caudex! Where is Clemens? Are you in the inn? Blockhead! et ubi est Grumio? in taberna es? caudex! And where is Grumio? Are you in the inn? Blockhead! (to Poppaea) quis es tu? Who are you? (to Quintus and back to party mode) liberalissimus es domine! te amo! You are very generous master! I love you! et tu cenas optimas coquis Grumio! And you make very good dinners Grumio. et callidissimus es Quinte! And you are very clever Quintus! ita vero Alexander. callidior sum quam te. sed quoque te amo. Yes Alexander. I am cleverer than you but I also love you. Hermogenes: et pulchrior quam deae es Quinte! (sarcastic) and you are more beautiful than the goddesses Quintus! (sarcastic) et fortior es quam omnes dei! and braver than all the gods!
Pluto has enough and takes Quintus aside to talk to him. Hermogenes and Syphax listen in. The rest of the cast leave the scene guided by Fortuna. quis es tu advena? Who are you stranger? ego sum rex. I am a king. in hac taberna ego sum rex. ego sum deus. I am king in this inn. I am a god. tu es deus? immortalitatem cupis Quinte? ego tibi auxilium dare possum. You are a god? Do you want immortality Quintus? ego mortem vincere possum? Can I conquer death? ita vero, sed pretium est! Yes, but there is a price! pretium magnum est? Is the price big? tu mécum manere debes et duos amicos quoque volo. You have to stay with me and I also want two of your friends. consentio. I agree. Pluto shakes Quintus hand and bites him. Quintus exits into the street in pain. furcifer! Quintus transforms into a dog and hides. Hermogenes and Syphax come out. Hermogenes: ubi est Quintus? Where is Quintus? Quinte! duo amici adsunt! Quintus! Your two friends are here!
Quintus attacks. The gods re-enter. Venus: Minerva: Quintus superbus erat Quintus was arrogant. et Hermogenes mendax erat. And Hermogenes was a liar. et Syphax avarus erat. And Syphax was greedy. et praemium acciperunt. iam omnes immortales sunt sed vitam amiserunt. And they have paid the price. They are all now immortal. They have conquered death but lost their lives. The 3 headed dog emerges and is captured by Pluto. Fortuna: omnes mortales, cavete iram deorum. All mortals, beware of the anger of the gods.