Sermon Saving Sacrifice? Of the seven deadly sins, described by Gandhi, the last, worship without sacrifice, intrigues me most. Worship means to lift up, to celebrate what we value, what we love. Sacrifice means to give something up. Gandhi seems to be saying that love requires sacrifice and sacrifice requires love. Sacrifice is a common element in most major religions. It is a way to express gratitude, a way to submit, to remember our fragility, to call upon mercy, and to achieve salvation. In Hinduism, milk and grains are offered to show devotion to God. The Qur an describes animal sacrifice as a way to surrender to Allah and to share with those in need. The Hebrew Bible lists, in explicit detail, exactly how Jews are to perform animal sacrifice, articulating how much of what animal and grain should be sacrificed on what day of the year. And sacrifice in traditional Christianity takes on a central role. For many Christians, the defining belief is that God made the ultimate self-sacrifice of His only son in order to save the rest of humanity. Is there value in the concept of sacrifice for Unitarian Universalists? Is there anything redeeming, anything saving about sacrifice for us? I imagine that most Unitarian Universalists do not subscribe to a God concept that asks us to bring meat and grains and lay them at his or her feet. We might view sacrifice in all these ritualized forms as barbaric, primitive, oppressive, even silly. To some of us, it seems repulsive to kill an animal to appease a God or Gods. And what kind of cruel and petty God would ask Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son? Ritual sacrifice seems particularly misplaced when everything around us is screaming about what we must obtain and almost never are we asked about what we might give up. But, still, sacrifice seems to be a concept worth exploring to see how it might align with our values. When I was sixteen, I witnessed a powerful demonstration of sacrifice, which I believe was redemptive because it was mutually empowering. One of my best friends, fifteen at the time, placed her child with an adoptive family. I was with her as the baby grew inside her. I was with her as her due date drew near, and after the baby was born as she agonized over whether she could let her son go. I was with her the morning she said goodbye to him and left him with his new family. It was one of the most courageous acts I ve ever witnessed. My friend s tremendous sacrifice afforded her child a life with a
loving family prepared to care for him and it gave her an opportunity to prepare herself for the family she would later create as a strong, courageous, mature adult. She had the benefit of a supportive family, which allowed her to choose to make that sacrifice. All sacrifice is not chosen nor does it always mutually empower. One story, which used to be a favorite of mine, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, tells the story of a tree that gives and gives of itself until it is nearly decimated. When I was getting my undergrad, a Children s Literature professor asked my class why the tree had to be female. I hadn t thought about it but once I did, it changed how I viewed the book and now I can no longer read it in the light of heroic sacrifice. I can only see the all too common story of women losing themselves to make others happy. I much prefer the version that Rev. Grant read in the service on Mother s Day, The Nurturing Tree by Dr. Jerry D. Wright. In that version, when the boy asks for the tree s apples and later her limbs, the tree offers only what she can sacrifice without losing herself. When he asks for her trunk to build a boat, the tree decides that even though she liked him very much [ ] she liked herself, too, and she said, I like you a lot. I ve enjoyed you for years. But I have good reasons to say No to your request. First, if I gave you my trunk, I would die, and while I like to give of myself and feel useful, I know better than to give myself away. Secondly, I ve noticed that you only come around when you want something for yourself. Other than that, I never see you. The more [the young man] thought about it, he realized that at first, he AND the tree had been giving each other something, but that as time had gone by, the tree had been doing almost all of the giving and he had been doing almost all of the taking. There is a deeply rooted message of sacrifice in our culture, especially for women and girls, that we must think of others before we think of ourselves. The other day, my daughter asked me the meaning of the word modest and I struggled a little to explain humility without self-deprecation. I said that modesty means thinking that you are no better than others, no better and no worse. My daughter asked with all sincerity, What is wrong with thinking that you are less than others? I realized that my own
words to her - to be considerate of others, to be unselfish - had omitted the importance of also valuing herself and knowing that she too deserves love and kindness. Rebecca Parker in her essay, Away From the Fire, in Proverbs of Ashes rejects the deeply rooted message that self-sacrifice is salvific. Parker reveals her very personal and long fought disagreement with the Christian soteriology, which asserts that the sacrifice of Jesus was the salvation of all humanity. This message, argues Parker, rather than being redemptive gives glory to violence and destructive self-sacrifice. She further argues that Jesus death was a brutal and cruel act of injustice, which has no saving message. On the contrary, it justifies abuse and only theoretically elevates to the status of martyr those who suffer at the hands of an oppressor. She asked her congregation in a Lenten sermon, Does Jesus self-sacrifice on the cross end dominance and submission? No. Jesus crucifixion was a consequence of domination, not its cure. i All too often, women who are abused by their partners are encouraged by their church leaders to remain in a destructive relationship, to embrace their suffering as Jesus did and sacrifice their well being for the benefit of the family. This kind of sacrifice only serves to continue cycles of powerlessness, abuse, and suffering. Self-sacrifice is easily distorted and misinterpreted by ego. I identify with Parker s painful admission of abuse. While my childhood experience was qualitatively different, I know what it means to relinquish self-respect in order to feel valued and loved. I have felt the lack of control, the fear of abandonment, the desperate attempt to prove my worth and valor through self-destructive means. I have tried to be invisible so as not to be shunned. I have starved myself to squelch my desires. This kind of self-annihilation has no value. It doesn t elevate, glorify, or save anyone. Sacrifice can be redemptive, but only when it is ultimately and mutually empowering. The validity of sacrifice as a means of salvation must be discerned in any given situation. If we are lost to ourselves, if our self-worth is diminished, then further loss and denigration serves no higher purpose. Only when we come from a place of genuine wholeness and belief in our value can we share power and remain complete. If
one is unable to know and use their own power, then they have no ability to share power with others and work toward what they value. Those who are continuously and generationally oppressed may identify with the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus. Identifying with the crucifixion of Jesus is a way for some to accept and find meaning in oppression. It can also be a distorted attempt to reclaim one s inward sense of dignity. Womanist theologians, those who explore their understanding of God through their experience as African American women, have found a more empowering way to identify with Jesus. Monica Coleman states, womanist theology focuses on the activity and suggests that it is not the person of Jesus, but rather the activities of teaching and healing exhibited in the life and death of Jesus that make Jesus a savior. ii It is easy to dismiss the idea of salvation through sacrifice as a Christian concept that does not apply to us as Unitarian Universalists. Many of us feel that we are responsible for our own redemption, of saving ourselves through our actions in this life. Sacrifice is not something we do to please or win the favor of God. However, If we truly aspire to live according to the principle of valuing every human being, including ourselves, and if we recognize that we are all inter-connected, we may find that doing what is right, even if it means sacrificing what we want in the moment, is ultimately what is best for everyone. There is not a single thing born without sacrifice - not a child, not a work of art, or a social justice movement. To be a parent, we sacrifice time for ourselves, freedom, and a great deal of money. To create, we sacrifice our minds and hearts to the temporary obsession of the work. To build social justice we must be willing to give up our privatized privilege. What are you giving up to be here right now? Maybe you are giving up time to relax and sleep in on Sunday morning. You may also be giving up an easier path, an easier way to be religious, because Unitarian Universalism doesn t offer easy answers. Living in a covenanted community such as ours, requires rigorous honesty and a willingness to be uncomfortable as we open to new ideas and practices. I have seen inspiring examples of sacrifice in this church those who give of their time and energy to create justice and peace in so many ways. I also know that you receive something in
the giving, that there is some fulfillment of purpose and an infusion of joy when sharing yourself in a meaningful, compassionate way. But even though you receive something in the giving, still letting something go isn t sacrifice unless you really feel the loss. In ancient times, sacrificial lambs were cared for, looked over with the eye of one that had watched it grow from a newborn lamb to make sure that it was not marked with the slightest scratch. This kind of sacrifice comes with a profound sense of loss. Buddhism, in part, is a practice of letting go, of non-attachment, which I understand and appreciate in theory. But in reality, I struggle with the concept of nonattachment when I think about my children because I am quite attached to them. And I want to be engaged in the world, fully loving and fully feeling. I long for that attachment. Sacrifice means being a loving presence in the world and it also means being willing to let go, sometimes when it seems most difficult to do so. True salvation comes through mutually empowering love. When I say salvation, I m not talking about our entry into a distant heaven. I mean setting our spirits free. I mean being liberated from fear, living out of an understanding of our wholeness and growing into our best selves. I mean feeling at home in the universe, knowing we are valuable, that this life is worth living, and this world worth saving. This kind of salvation requires us to face suffering honestly, to live compassionately, and to include ourselves, as well as all beings in our consideration of the common good. This kind of salvation requires us to suffer with each other, not in silent, isolated obedience. Salvation demands that we acknowledge our needs and desires rather than denying them. In that way, we can decide honestly and selectively to sacrifice our needs and desires when it is beneficial to the community, not when it benefits the one to the detriment of the many. According to Monica Coleman, Salvation occur(s) in and through community...there is no salvation unless the entire community is saved. iii How do we practice this kind of saving sacrifice as Unitarian Universalist? Our offering is a sacrifice, especially if we share some or all of it with others. We sacrifice the comfort of what is known to make room for those who haven t found us yet. We sacrifice some of our deeply held individualism in order to be in beloved community together. By being in beloved community we are more able to realize our higher selves and to let go of our baser selves. We sacrifice when we give of our time and money to
try to make the world a better place for everyone. We sacrifice blissful ignorance to gain understanding of our responsibility in the world. We sacrifice the contentment of certainty to remain ever open to questions. And Love is the ultimate sacrifice. Genuine love causes us to give our hearts, our souls to one another, to feel deep need, longing, affection for another which puts our hearts in grave danger. In fact, it is almost 100% certain that the love we experience will cause us pain in one way or another. Either the object of our love will leave us, die, grow up, or at the very least disappoint us terribly. Yet we still love each other. We make that sacrifice of our hearts every day. Every time a parent sends their child to school they make that sacrifice. We let our loved ones go and our hearts break just a little. Maybe that s just self-preservation, human nature, or evolutionary survival skills. Our genes are passed on more successfully when we care for each other. But it is still an enormous risk, a tremendous sacrifice we give to a higher purpose. Love is the sacrifice that saves. Love requires us to bring our whole selves to each other, to feel the hurt and betrayal that we will intentionally and unintentionally cause one another. It requires us to heal and teach ourselves and to heal and teach each other. It requires us to forgive. Authentic, empowering and fortifying love takes each person s wholeness into account. It celebrates and honors you as a whole person in body, mind and spirit and it honors and celebrates my wholeness as I understand, live and express it. We must move through the world sharing the power of love rather than robbing each other of it or obediently handing it over. Love can not to be held in a clenched fist. Love cannot exist as possession. The truth of Love is that it requires us to be able to let it go. And only through loving and letting go are we saved. Take courage as you step up to the edge and look into the fiery pit. You give yourself as a sacrifice as prophets have done before you. You covenant with one another to learn from one another, to seek what is best for your neighbor as well as for yourself. You sacrifice yourself to love. This is how we as Unitarian Universalists can be saved through sacrifice.
i Rebecca Ann Parker, Away from the Fire, in Proverbs of Ashes: Violence, Redemptive Suffering, and the Search for What Saves Us (Boston: Beacon Press, 2001), 37. ii Monica A. Coleman, Making a Way Out of No Way: a womanist theology (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 2008), 99. iii Coleman, Making a Way Out of No Way, 97.