Song of Songs (3): True Love Waits ch.2:7-3:5

Song of Songs (3): True Love Waits ch.2:7-3:5 A group of children were asked their opinion on falling in love and marriage. One nine year old replied No-one is sure why it happens, but I heard it was something to do with how you smell. An 8 year old boy had a different theory I think you re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn t supposed to be so painful. Gary aged 7 was convinced it had something more to do that with your appearance - It isn t always just how you look. Look at me. I m handsome like anything and I haven t got anybody to marry me yet. (Quoted in N & S Lee The Marriage Book). It s spring time in the Song of Songs and as we know it s the time when love awakens: in the words of Tennyson spring time, a time when a young man s fancy turns to thoughts of love. Nature is awakening and the desires between the lover and the beloved are growing for each other and their yearning and longing for each other is very tangible as we read these lines. As I have said before there are many interpretations of this Song and what is happening at what stage. I personally favour ch.2 and 3 as depicting in song a kind of premarriage state, a state of betrothal or engagement. Ch.3 is a dream sequence where the woman is dreaming of her groom and goes out searching for him. They are separated and she is longing for them to be one and joined. When we get into the middle chapters where the beloved is referred to as a bride I think we can assume that they have been married (some would say 3:6-11 is referring to the marriage procession) but we see a ramping up of the intensity of the language and the intimacy. The passage we have read is bookended by a theme verse or chorus which occurs throughout the song as we have said it is a song directed mainly to the young women of Israel. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you, or I adjure you, by the gazelles and does of the field: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. The power of love is so strong it is to be treated carefully and wisely. You might say, well how can you stop yourself falling in love, it just happens. But I suppose if you are young and I am assuming this being addressed to young girls aged fourteen upwards it says don t go actively looking for a relationship to soon; bide your time, wait for the right person. This is all difficult of course for how do you know who the right person is without having a few friendships. I suppose the writer of our Song would say you will know, you will know when it happens. So I am going to take this section as referring to what we might call the betrothal or engagement period. Most cultures seem to have such an arrangement prior to marriage where some serious intent to marry has been declared. In some cultures it is a very short period a matter of days or weeks, in some it can be well over a year, maybe two or three years in our culture as people save for the wedding and the new home together. There is much to plan, much to look forward to and it is of course a time to get to know one another better. 1

We find references to engagement and betrothal throughout scripture and there are some common themes it is taken seriously and almost viewed as being like a marriage. It is not marriage but in certain cultures almost required a certificate of divorce to end it. In Deut 22 it refers to a virgin pledged to be married if another man rapes her he is to be put to death. We are also aware of Joseph and Mary - in Mt.1:18 we are told that Jesus mother Mary was pledged to be married, or betrothed to be married to Joseph. This betrothal was more serious than our engagement as a pre-nuptial agreement (a kind of binding contract) would have been entered into and could only be broken by a formal divorce. Hence in v.19 it refers to Joseph having a mind to divorce her quietly. So the first thing was that it was serious, the second thing about the betrothal period was that it was not consummated and was not to be until the wedding day. Again in Jewish culture if the husband alleged that his wife was not a virgin on the wedding night and this was proven then the consequences were dire. Sexual purity before the marriage and sexual fidelity within the marriage was so important in Hebrew and Jewish culture. This is why commentators say that the Song of Songs must be about chaste married love for that was assumed in the culture, it was a given. The only ones who broke it were unbelievers, the pagan nations around and unfortunately kings like Solomon who was following pagan ways by creating a harem. Hence we are back to the theory that this is written against Solomon and he is a foil to how true love should behave. True love waits it does not demand, it does not abuse and dominate women and demand sexual gratification now. So a few times through this song it is almost like a chorus - this young woman adjures others to be careful. Once you start going down the road of relational, emotional and then physical intimacy it builds a momentum almost of its own. In these verses it seems that they are growing more intimate, not only in her dreams but in reality. Thus many cultures would recommend that once engagement or betrothal is decided on then it should be a short period. In fact some would suggest that during this time the lovers separate more and there is less physical touch, not more, because our power of self-control can maybe not be as good as we think. This of course is a completely different understanding from the culture in which we live. We live in a culture which actively encourages sexual relations outside of the marriage bond and many of the films and TV series focus on pre-marital and extra-marital relations rather than the goodness of sex within marriage. Our culture places enormous pressure on people to ignore the Bibles very sensible boundaries placed around sex. When this happens it leads not to blessing but heartache, to regret, to unwanted pregnancy and to illness and disease. Someone sent me an email this past week quoting the statistic that one third of young people in the US are infected with a sexually transmitted disease. I was reading that in NI the incidence of syphilis and HIV is increasing over the past two years. When we follow the maker s instructions it leads to health and happiness. We are not told of the misery when this gift is abused and 2

mishandled. The best way to avoid STD s is by being faithful to one person for life, to one heterosexual partner fact. Yet we hear this nowhere in the government s advice. This Song is a healthy antidote to our culture and a reminder to our church that we need to affirm this good gift and all the positives of physical intimacy but within certain well defined bounds we have a better story to tell for those who are willing to listen. As Iain Provan says in his commentary Only as the church reintegrates beauty and godliness in its thinking will it be able to act as salt and light in a Western culture that is obsessed with physical human beauty but has lost all sense of perspective about it. Human beauty has become for the culture, an idol. But here in the Song we see the beauty and healthiness and positivity of sexuality being celebrated a woman describing her young man as being like a young stag or a gazelle. It is a picture of bounding energy and strength and vitality. Go into the Highlands of Scotland and see that a stag is big weighing over 300 pounds, over four feet high at the shoulder, with its antlers it is an impressive animal. Even today when young men have their prewedding party it s called a stag do. A women s party is called a hen party, why a hen and not a dove I am not sure. He is also likened to a gazelle or a deer, deer can leap over eight feet high and leap over 30 feet along the ground. So in portraying this young man as a gazelle or as a young stag there is a picture of vitality and energy and curiosity all bundled up here. To echo last week s talk this is all very affirming and playful language it is the language of lovers. But it is good if such language can continue on for many years, not just for this time. So these two young people are ready for love, they are ready for a relationship and there is a sense of excitement as winter turns to spring. The language and metaphors of nature are used to express the awakening of love and desire and these are good things. The Bible is not a dull book. It is not a book which frowns upon good things, God created things. So often the church and Christians have had a bad press and have been accused of being against fun, against sex, against many of the good things in life. Song of Songs, and indeed other parts of the Bible, gives us a true picture. God is the creator of a good earth and it is the fall that has destroyed so much. Christianity, as the Jewish faith before it, has a high view of sexual relations. It is not dirty, it is the world that has made it dirty as it takes it out of the bounds and framework which God has given for us to enjoy this greatest of gifts. We remember Genesis 2:25 The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. In our interpreting of Song of Songs we have noted that it is a song, but it is a song in the Bible and it not only refers to the legitimate yearning and love of a man and a woman for each other but it points to a higher longing and yearning that we have in our souls for God. What state is our soul in at the moment are we in winter or spring? The idea of winter is often used of a time of coldness and dryness in our souls. CS Lewis of course in Narnia spoke of a land where it was always winter but never Christmas. In his story when the power of the witch is broken soon Edmund noticed that the snow which splashed against them as 3

they rushed through it was much wetter than it had been last night all around them, though out of sight, there were streams chattering, bubbling, splashing and even in the distance roaring. And his heart gave a leap (though he hardly knew why) when he realised the frost was over How is your soul today, has it been winter for a time? Do you hear the words of Jesus whispering to you today Arise my beautiful one and come with me See the winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth and the season of singing has come.. Do you want to sing of the Lord and all he has done for you? The Christian faith is a singing faith. Do you love to sing of Him and all that he has done for you? Do you need the Holy Spirit to come and warm your heart today. One of the things I love about the evening service is that we spend more time in song. Oh how I love to sing of my beloved. What about you. Is there emotion as you sing of God s great mercies to you; have you an appreciation of how much Jesus has saved us from and what he has saved us to. Do these truths not just touch your head but your heart this morning? How do you come to church this morning with a longing and a love to worship or seeing it as a chore? Yes there will be days of duty and when it will seem like a chore but above that the over-riding theme should be that of desire, I desire to meet with God and to worship him and to hear more about Him in his word. I desire to have more of him in my life and that he will fill me with joy and peace and hope and faith. I love the words of Charlie Cleverly as he says - yes it is good to be a purpose driven church but how much better to be a presence driven church. Have we the presence of Christ in all we do. Have we his energy, that stag or gazelle energy, which the Song of Songs speaks of? Remember Paul says in Colossians 1:29 To this end I labour with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me. Have we this leaping bounding energy of the Spirit of God in us is it spring time in the church? CH Spurgeon says on these verses. His presence is the glory of the church of God. When she is without it she is shorn of her strength; when she possesses it all good things ensue. If a church be without the Spirit of God in it, it may have a name to live, but it is dead Let the Spirit of God be in the church, then there is power given to all her ministries whether they be ministries of public word or of holy love amongst the brethren or to the outside world, they will all be clothed with energy, in the fullness of the Lord Jesus. Jesus today calls his church to come away with him and be filled with his power, his energy, his vitality. Will we join him as individuals, will we surrender to his love and wooing of us and then find that we are in a springtime of devotion and service and worship. So much of the church seems to be in winter and darkness and gloom. But we need not be as we invite God by His Spirit to come and warm our hearts. It was said of John and Charles Wesley that 4

they found their hearts to be strangely warmed and they fell in love with Christ and a new movement, the Methodist church was born. They were called the enthusiasts. God is calling us as he called Israel into a betrothing, into a covenant marriage with him. He will be faithful to us and he calls us to be faithful to him. But always there are distractions, always there are enemies and things that take us away from our first love Christ. In the Song of Songs 2:15 it says Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards. Foxes were a problem, they ate the grapes, the spoiled the vines and the harvest. There are many little foxes that get in the way of true love. Lust can be one, busyness can be another, pornography can be another, coldness of heart, lack of self-esteem, physical neglect, anger. All these little foxes can spoil a human relationship and they can spoil a spiritual relationship. Get rid of the little foxes you know what they might be in your life they are stopping the flourishing of the vineyard, they are stopping spring and summer coming into our lives and into our churches. In this passage there is that sense of anticipation which lovers have, the longing to meet, to get to one another at a deeper level, the excitement. The air is full of the intoxication of their love oh how wonderful it would be if a stranger walked in and sensed the intoxication of love that this people has for their God and say surely God is in this place. Oh how we love him for what he has done for us. In Christ he has taken our sin and the punishment for that sin and he has cast it away as far as the east is from the west so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Maybe today for someone true love will awaken and they will see Jesus for who he is the altogether lovely one who shed his blood for me and took my place on Calvary s tree. Thank you Jesus for your outrageous love and outrageous grace for us. 5