The Book of Proverbs Practical Wisdom for Everyday Life Lesson 10: Building Relationships
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5
Outline Parents and Children Friends and Neighbors Faithfulness Love Doing Good Enemies
Key Lessons Last Week We know the seriousness of being a false witness, but are we honest in all walks of life? What about on tax forms? What about job applications? Do we embellish the truth to make ourselves appear to be more than we are? The character of our friends says much about whether or not we are really committed to Christ. Be careful about your associations. A contentious person can be a real irritant. Am I ever contentious? Can I be unpleasant to be around? When it comes to quarrels, are we quick to jump in and take sides. Don t meddle in other people s quarrels.
Key Lessons Children are to be accepted as sacred trusts from God; they are to be trained, cherished, and disciplined with love. A friend who is a brother in Christ can sometimes be closer and more helpful than our family. Let's be true friends for one another. Love forgives. It overlooks wrongs and moves on. Do we?
Parents and Children - Behavior Wise sons 23:15-16 My son" - hearkens back to the first part of the book - joy he will have if heart of his son is wise 23:24-25 Idea of rejoicing 5 times Truly a delight to the father and mother Is not an accident; wise parenting is key 27:11 Gives the father such a lift that he can answer anyone, even someone that criticizes him.
Parents and Children - Behavior Wise vs. Foolish 10:1; 15:20 - effect on parents: gladness vs. grief 10:5 wise - gathers in summer; foolish causing shame - sleeps in harvest 13:1 - reaction to instruction: wise - heeds; scoffer does not listen 28:7 - wise (discerning) - keeps the law; foolish causing shame - companion of gluttons 29:3 - loves wisdom - father rejoices; companion of harlots - wastes his wealth
Parents and Children - Behavior Foolish and rebellious sons 17:25 - cause parents grief 19:13 - the ruin of his father 19:26 - mistreats parents - causes shame and brings reproach 20:20 - curses parents - will die 28:24 - robs parents and claims it's not wrong - same as a destroyer 30:11-14 - a generation that curses parents, is pure in own eyes, is proud, takes advantage of the poor 30:17 - eye mocks father and scorns obedience to mother - serious punishment will come
Parents and Children Correction & Discipline 15:5; 23:22 - contrasts the foolish and prudent in this regard 19:27 - Consequence of not listening. When you stop listening, you begin to forget knowledge. 29:17 - If you really want rest, you can t give up on correction. Be consistent and patient and it will pay off. 22:6 Train up literally, dedicate. Start them in the right way The godly parent will start early and be attentive in the way he should go The literal Hebrew: on the mouth of his way The way he should go The way he goes What a child learns as he grows will stay with him
Children are to be accepted as sacred trusts from God; they are to be trained, cherished, and disciplined with love; and they are to be guided by a consistent pattern of godliness followed by the parents themselves. This is what is meant by bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). This type of training implies a policy of treating children as even more important than one s own personal convenience or social life away from home. It means impressing on them that they are very important persons in their own right because they are loved by God, and because he has a wonderful and perfect plan for their lives. Parents who have faithfully followed these principles and practices in rearing their children may safely entrust them as adults to the keeping and guidance of God and feel no sense of personal guilt if a child later veers off course. They have done their best before God. The rest is up to each child himself. (Gleason L. Archer)
Parents and Children Correction & Discipline rod - shebet - from an unused root probably meaning to branch off; literally, a stick (for punishing, writing, etc.) 13:24 - Do you love your child? Provide proper discipline 22:15 - Spanking a small child an effective way to correct None of these are implying child abuse If you have used spanking judiciously, you know this 19:18 While there is hope - before they grow too old and discipline does no good If you spank at an early age, discipline easier as they grow older Never spank out of anger. If not in control of your emotions, have your spouse take care of it.
Parents and Children Correction & Discipline 23:13-14 As much as a child might sound like they are about to die when you spank them, they will not Will play on your emotions Be firm yet loving. Be consistent. Follow up any discipline with reassurances of your love for them. 29:15 Real child abuse is leaving a child to himself i.e. not teaching respect for authority and obedience
Parents and Children Blessings Aren t children and grandchildren a rich blessing? 17:6 - See the mutual joy that grandparents and grandchildren have in each other Family members need each other for love and support Warnings 11:29 - You reap what you sow. Do not cause trouble in your own house. 31:1-3 King Lemuel - guidance similar to early chapters A strong warning against the sin of fornication Uses the closeness of their relationship (v. 2) and speaks of the consequences (v. 3)
Friends and Neighbors - Making and choosing 12:26 - an extremely important consideration Will have a significant influence on us, choose carefully 18:24 Point is not that you need to be friendly to have friends Hebrew: "A man of friends will come to destruction. A man who sets out to make everyone a friend will eventually compromise his righteousness So-called friends will disappear in times of trouble What is important is not the number of friends, but the quality of friendship. "A friend who sticks closer than a brother" will be one who stands up for another no matter the personal risk.
Friends and Neighbors - Making and choosing 22:24-25 - Avoid making friends with an angry man 16:28-29 Be careful who you associate with and make your friend The violent lead astray and the whisperer will separate you from even your best friend How much damage can gossip do? The warning here is to recognize such a one and do not associate with them.
Friends and Neighbors A Help to Us 17:17 - friends can be a tremendous help to us, especially in times of difficulty 27:6 - a true friend tells you what you need to hear not what you want to hear 27:9 - beauty of sound counsel 27:10 Do not abandon a friend; be there for them Sometimes better to seek help from a friend geographically close rather than family A brother in Christ, can be closer and more helpful 27:17 - true friends make each other better You can "sharpen" each other with wise counsel and constructive criticism
Friends and Neighbors Cultivating 17:9 - friends will keep private matters between one another 25:17 some neighbors make a pest of themselves A true neighbor will be prudent in the relationship Don't overstay your welcome 25:20 - a friend will be sensitive to others' feelings Sometimes a bubbly, happy attitude is not what's needed in certain situations 27:14 - be sensitive to the feelings of the one who is not a morning person
Faithfulness Trust and confidence in our relationships 11:13 - the faithful one is one you can confide safely in 13:17 - they bring health - can truly buoy the spirit 25:13 - one you can count on is truly refreshing 25:19 Warning is to be careful to not place your confidence in someone who is untrustworthy They're like a bad tooth! 20:6 The hallmark of a faithful man is humility
Love 10:12 Speaks to a forgiving attitude Love does this; it will overlook a wrong and move on 15:17 A modest dinner with one you love is better than a sumptuous feast with hate 27:5 Love doesn't conceal the truth, but provides open rebuke
Doing Good Seeking good 11:27 - Seeking good will find favor Kindness 19:22 - Kindness is what is desired in man Generosity 11:25 - Generous will be made rich 28:27 - He who gives to the poor will not lack 22:9 - The generous will be blessed Speech 12:25 - A good word makes the heart glad 12:14 - The fruit of the mouth will bring good
Doing Good Good news 15:30 - A good report is refreshing 25:25 - Good news from a far country is welcome Is there anything quite so refreshing as some cold water when you are wearied? Character 14:22 - Mercy and truth belong to those who do good Reputation 22:1 - A good name is valuable
Doing Good Heritage 13:22 - A good man leaves an inheritance to grandchildren - physical and reputation Benefits 11:17 The merciful man will see good benefits 14:14 Will be satisfied from above 12:2 Will find favor from the Lord
Enemies Attitude 24:17-18 Do not rejoice at the calamity of your enemy Treatment 25:21 Provide for your enemy
Key Lessons Children are to be accepted as sacred trusts from God; they are to be trained, cherished, and disciplined with love. A friend who is a brother in Christ can sometimes be closer and more helpful than our family. Let's be true friends for one another. Love forgives. It overlooks wrongs and moves on. Do we?