Prioritizing Prayer Time A resource for Community Group leaders As a Community Group leader, you know that prayer time is one of the four key elements of our small group model (fellowship, Bible study, prayer and service), and that group prayer is an essential part of a healthy group. But if your group is like many others, you may have found that your group's prayer time leaves something to be desired. Perhaps your prayer time has become an afterthought, squeezed into the last five minutes before everyone leaves. Perhaps group members are not participating. Or maybe prayer time is just dry even boring. Our hope is that all small groups yours included would experience rich corporate prayer and value their group's prayer time. The goal of this resource is to help you: Understand and articulate the value of prayer time in the small group setting; Identify the underlying causes of unsatisfying group prayer time; Take practical steps to address those causes and build richer prayer times. Why prayer? At first glance, this may seem like an odd question; after all, everyone knows that prayer is one of the most basic elements of almost any religious faith. But in considering the answers to this question, we can begin to develop a clear understanding of what is at stake if your group does not experience a vital prayer life. Prayer is an opportunity to invite God's involvement. When we pray, we are opening a line of communication between ourselves and God. It's not that He has to wait for us to initiate, but we incline our hearts and minds toward God and acknowledge our dependence on Him. By doing this in a small group setting, we are inviting His involvement in the growth and development of our group. Prayer creates opportunities to see God work. Few things build our faith more than seeing God answer prayer, and praying as a group multiplies this effect. If one of my group members asks God for help in doing what it takes to get out of debt and a year later he is debt-free, then I will be excited for him. But if during the course of that year I have spent regular time praying with him and asking God to help him, then when the work is done, it is not only my friend's prayers that have been answered, but mine as well; both of us will see our faith grow as a result of God's faithfulness. Group prayer also ensures that we don't miss it when God answers our prayers. If persistent frustration or disappointment in a particular area of my life blinds me to the ways God has worked on my behalf in other areas, my fellow small group members can call my attention to God's faithfulness in my life-provided I have been sharing my prayer requests with them. Sharing prayer requests builds community. One of the purposes of small groups is to provide an environment where group members experience authentic community where they find accountability, belonging, and care. Sharing prayer requests fosters the development of each of those three elements. In addition, shared experience is one of the primary drivers of deep relationships, and celebrating answered prayers together is the kind of high-quality shared experience that can accelerate the growth of those relationships. Each of these three benefits of, or reasons for, group prayer sets the stage for God to work in our lives through the small group experience. Think about what is at stake for your group members and the group as a whole if group prayer is not a significant part of your small group experience. How many opportunities to see God at work will your group members miss if they don't enjoy the benefit of seeing others' prayers answered? How much depth and authenticity will your group sacrifice if members are not sharing their burdens and concerns? What a tragedy it would be to look back at the end of 18 to 24 months and feel that
your group members had missed out on so much of what God desires for us to experience by walking through the Christian life with others! If the benefits of a vital group prayer life seem obvious as do the costs of neglecting group prayer then why do so many groups struggle with this important area of group life? We have identified several common factors that can undermine a group's prayer life, and in the paragraphs below we have suggested practical ways to mitigate these factors and proactively build your group's prayer life. Your group may be facing several of these barriers (or possibly all of them), so you may find that you need to employ multiple strategies or alternate through them to see success. Barriers to group prayer and how to overcome them While there are a number of factors that can restrict the growth and development of a small group's prayer life, most of them fall into one of the following categories: Group members' experience with prayer Authenticity and depth Structure and variety of prayer time Follow-through We will discuss each of these categories and what you can do to address them. Group members lack of experience with prayer. More and more, small groups are attracting people with diverse religious backgrounds. Many group members have no religious background at all, while others come from a tradition where faith was expected to be personal and private. As a result, most small groups include members who have no experience with group prayer, and very little experience with prayer of any kind at all (other than the "please God get me out of this ticket and I swear I'll never speed again" variety). A lack of experience manifests itself in two ways: a lack of knowledge and a lack of confidence. Group members lack knowledge. One way to overcome this hurdle is to devote one meeting (or a longerthan-usual segment of the meeting) to prayer, where the group leader and/or apprentice shares a definition or explanation of prayer and leads the group through focused prayer based on that discussion. There are many ways to teach the principles of prayer. This resource will look at one example: the ACTS approach. In this approach, the facilitator(s) provide a brief description of four aspects of prayer using the ACTS acronym: Adoration - We acknowledge who God is, worship Him and praise Him for His character and attributes. Confession - We confess our sins to clear away that which displeases God and breaks our fellowship with Him. Thanksgiving - We acknowledge that it is God who provides for our needs and communicate our gratefulness to Him for what He has already done and provided. Supplication - We present our requests to God (for others, for the world, for ourselves). After explaining each aspect, the facilitator encourages group members to think of what they would want to say to God in that area, then leads a time of prayer where members pray out loud about that area. The leader may also want to provide group members with a note card or "cheat sheet" that will help them remember how to incorporate these aspects into their own personal prayers.
Group members lack confidence. The natural result of group members' lack of knowledge or experience is a lack of confidence in their own ability to pray, and this often translates into a reluctance to pray in front of other people. To a certain degree, this can be mitigated by teaching the group members to pray, and by going through directed prayer together, as in the ACTS approach mentioned above. You can also help build their confidence in praying by creating some low-intensity "baby steps" that will allow them to practice in low-pressure environments. Here are a couple of ways to do this: Authenticity and depth Ask them to ask the blessing before the group eats dinner or dessert. (You may want to talk to them beforehand, as being put on the spot may actually increase the pressure.) Have each person write one prayer request on an index card and pass it to the person on his left, then each person prays out loud for the request on the card. Break up into groups of two or three for prayer time (so that no one has to pray in front of more than two other people). Shallow, inauthentic prayer might be the biggest factor in undermining a group's prayer life. The following chart looks at factors that limit authenticity and growth and suggests ways to reduce these factors. Restricting Factor: Too may prayer requests (multiple from each person) Shallow prayer requests (neighbor's grandma's cat ran away People who never have prayer requests Symptom: Sharing of requests leaves no time for actual prayer; some group members mentally check out. Prayer time starts to seem like a waste of time; group members mentally check out. The same people say the same thing each week, "I can't really think of anything." "I'm good." Suggested Solutions: In initiating prayer time, facilitator asks: "What is the one thing you most want us to pray for you this week?" Coach group members to keep their prayer requests focused on something personal. Rule of thumb: "Is this something you spend time praying for yourself?" or "Is there anything going on with you that we can pray about? Use directed prayer to provide focus.
Lack of transparency Prayer time dominators Shallow requests or no requests (see above). Requests are personal (about themselves) but always "surfacey." The entire allotted time is focused on one person (and not just because of an isolated care situation); group members mentally check out. ("What can we pray for regarding your relationships at work?") Giving advance notice can help those who are contemplative or don't think well on their feet. Encourage group members to write down their prayer requests before they come to group. Model authenticity, transparency, and acceptance. Make sure that you are open, honest, and vulnerable with the things that you share. Remind your group of the values of Respect and Authenticity and coach them not to judge. A one-on-one conversation may be necessary to draw him or her back to the point of group prayer time. "I know you have a lot going on that you'd like us to pray for, but it's also important for other group members to have the
Problem-solvers Group members try to "solve" the problems/issues brought up in prayer requests, rather than acknowleding the person's concern. opportunity to share their burdens and concerns. I would like you to try to limit the requests you share in the group to two minutes, and if there are more requests or background you'd like to share, you can send that out through an email. I want to make sure that everyone has the opportunity to share and I want to make sure that they're hearing what you're saying when you share." The first time it happens you may want to remind the group as a whole that the point of this time is to share burdens and prayer requests and take them before God, not to try to solve each other's problems. If a member continues to do this, you may need to have a one-on-one conversation to talk about how it makes other people feel and how it
Repetitive prayer time Prayer time seems dry because it's the same old thing every week. undermines the group's prayer life. Mix things up by varying the structure/format of the prayer time (see the sections that follow for ideas). Structure and variety Routines can be a good thing; many of us would not be able to maintain physical fitness without the stability and predictability provided by a habitual behavior. But the same characteristic of routine that provides stability the ability to perform an action without giving it much thought can rob a group's prayer time of its energy. By injecting a little change into the structure of your group's prayer time, such as altering the timing and format, you can keep things fresh and vital. Timing is critical. If you find that prayer has become an afterthought in your group meetings, it may be because prayer time comes after everything else in the meeting agenda. Putting prayer last chronologically isn't necessarily a bad thing; many group members may feel most able to share their deepest burdens after they have had the chance to connect relationally and discuss practical issues. The downside is that if other segments of group time run long, it becomes easy and tempting to cut prayer short to make up the time. If that happens consistently in your group, you may want to consider beginning your meeting with prayer, or reserving time for prayer between your relational time and discussion time. Feel free to make adjustments to your group's schedule to ensure that no one aspect of group time gets neglected. Varying formats can keep things fresh. If you have read Sacred Pathways or listened to Andy Stanley and Sean Seay's You've Got Style sermon series, you are aware that different people have different ways of connecting with God. The same can be said for prayer. Some people may gravitate toward the linear simplicity of the pray-for-the-person-on-your-right format, while others may prefer a free-flowing, unstructured prayer time where everyone is free to praise God for His various attributes. We have collected several ideas for different ways you may want to structure your group's prayer time, with brief descriptions provided on the following pages. Follow-through Perhaps the most important tip we can provide is to follow up on prayer requests. What better way to reinforce the value of group prayer than to ask members what has happened with their past requests? Here are three simple ways to follow through on prayer requests: 1. Record them whether you keep them in a notebook, a prayer journal, or on a web page, always record the requests (and answered prayers) shared in group prayer time. This allows you to share them with absent members, email them out during the week, and engage in step 2. 2. Revisit them make a point of asking what has happened on past requests, especially those that had a critical date attached. As a group, take some time every few months to review past requests and get updates. This allows you to do step 3.
3. Celebrate them answered prayer requests are the milestones that build our faith in God's faithfulness, if we remember what He has done. When you hear of answered prayer, remind the group that it was something you collectively prayed about, and take the time to celebrate what God has done. Variations on small group prayer time Night of Prayer The Nature of Prayer Take a week off from curriculum to focus on prayer. Spend some time looking at a Biblical model of prayer such as the ACTS approach (Adoration, Confession, Thanks, Supplication). Spend a few minutes discussing what each aspect means or looks like, then take some time to communicate with God about that aspect. Night of Prayer Multi-topic Take a week off from curriculum to focus on prayer. Break into groups of 3-5 and take 5 to 7 minutes to pray together for several topics, such as: Your families Your neighbors Your co-workers Your pastor Your communities The President and political leaders The country The world Men's Time / Women's Time (for Married Community Groups) Men often feel more comfortable and will share more when no women are present. The converse can be true for women as well. Separate the husbands and wives into separate rooms to discuss prayer requests. To stimulate conversation, you may want to have a facilitator in each group to lead through a few prepared questions, like the ones below.what is going well, where would you like to improve, and what is one thing we can pray for you regarding:...how you're doing as a husband or wife?...how you're doing as a father or mother?...how things are going at work or in managing your home?...how things are going in your relationship with God? Directed Prayer Requests (related to the discussion time) The following is an example of directed prayer requests: A meeting's discussion time is related to the Influence with Outsiders vital relationship, and you limit prayer requests by asking all group members to identify one person in their spheres of influence. The members then talks about what they would like to see God do in that person's life, and/or how they hope to be used in that person's life. Prayer Walk The group chooses an area to pray for, such as a neighborhood or business, and divides into smaller groups, then walks through the area and prays. This can be done aloud or silently, depending on what seems to be most appropriate. Make sure that the subgroups are not so large that they call attention to themselves. Cross-cultural Prayer This gives the group the opportunity to step out beyond their everyday circles and pray for people of other nations. Philip Johnstone's book, Operation World, gives information on every country, along with specific prayer requests for each of them. Another option for the group is to watch or read the news and note what is
going on in countries outside the U.S. They can use the events reported on in the media as starting pointa in praying for the world. One other option is to pray for the nationalities in the areas around them. The metro Atlanta area is an enormous melting pot (people from Brazil, Mexico, India, etc.), and praying for the nationalities in our areas can heighten our awareness of the ministry opportunities we have right in front of us. Prayer Poster Put a large poster board or foam board on an easel and ask everyone to write their prayer requests (large and legible) on Post-Its or 3x5 cards and attach them to the poster. This is simply a way of making prayer resonate with those who are visually oriented. Pray Through a Book There are many books that offer helpful suggestions and formats for organizing your prayer time. A couple of recommended resources include The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions, by Arthur G. Bennett, and Prayers from the Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis and Ronald Klug. Prayer Partners Individuals/couples can pair up for prayer. For six weeks, the prayer partners share prayer requests and pray for each other during prayer time. They also commit to touch base in-between meetings to see how things are going and/or share additional prayer requests. Rotating Prayer Partners Rotating prayer partners happens similarly to the suggestion above, but instead of keeping the same partner for six weeks, members switch each week so that they partner with everyone over the course of the sixweek period. Adopt a Ministry Adopt one of Cove Church's community ministries and/ or missionaries and spend some time praying for them. Adapted from North Point Community Church, Atlanta GA