I. Matthew 19:10 The disciples said to him, If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.

Matthew 19:10-12 Introduction On any account, these verses are difficult to understand. In my own studies, I ve come across at least five different interpretations! You can find an explanation of three of these interpretations and my reasons for rejecting them in the footnotes of the full sermon manuscript which will be available on our website. Likewise, there are also footnotes in the sermon manuscript from last week that deal with some questions we simply don t have time for on Sunday morning. So why do I waste my time with footnotes. Am I just obsessive compulsive about these things? That may be part of it, but for the most part I include these footnotes dealing with various other positions and objections because my desire is to be honest with you, and honest with myself, and most of all honest with God s Word. I cannot be honest and at the same time gloss over and ignore the positions that other godly people have taken and this is especially the case in passages that are so highly debated (like Matthew 19:1-12). Now if I relegate a lot of the discussion to footnotes, there s also a lot that I include in the Sunday morning message! But why do I do this? Why not just give you the end results as to what I believe God is teaching and jump right into the application and contemporary significance? On the one hand, if I did this we would all be robbed of the power of God s Word, for then it would definitely be me who was speaking and not the Word of God. The reason we move systematically, and expositionally, and word by word through the text is so that we might unloose the Word of God in our lives and give every opportunity for God to be the one who speaks! But there s more. If I simply gave you the final end results of my study, then you would be much less equipped to come back to the text on your own and find the teaching that you have received in the Scriptures themselves! In other words, if we remember the main point but don t remember the Bible passage, or if we remember the life lesson, but don t remember how that life lesson was rooted in the Scriptures, then we are in danger of moralizing, and we re also in danger of losing the power to grow and change because it is only the Word of God that is powerful to grow us and change us. I. Matthew 19:10 The disciples said to him, If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. So the disciples point is this: If a man can never divorce his wife and remarry another (except in the special case of sexual immorality), then it s better not to take the chance of marriage! No matter how we understand the exception clause, the teaching of Jesus clearly assumes that some people are going to be permanently stuck in very miserable and unfulfilling marriages. As one commentator puts it: The disciples are impressed by the problems they see when a marriage is under strain if [Jesus ] teaching is carried through. If there is no relief from the strain and no possibility of divorce [and remarriage], then life is going to be very difficult indeed It would mean that no matter what the wife did, no matter how badly the marriage was going, there could be no divorce [and remarriage] (Morris). The truth is that because of the powerful and unique nature of marriage, a bad marriage can plunge anyone into a most unbearable and miserable existence. And so the disciples conclude (at least for the sake of argument) that if what Jesus 1

says is true, then it would be better (and even easier) to stay single rather than risk the tortures of an unhappy marriage from which there is no escape. In light of Jesus own teaching, therefore, it is not advisable [for anyone] to marry (Morris). We could even translate the disciples words like this: It is not good to marry (YLT). So you see, even if we allow for divorce and remarriage in the case of adultery (and even abandonment), we ve only solved the problem of a few. There are multitudes of others who remain trapped in miserable marriages or else forced to remain single after a divorce perhaps for the rest of their lives. So what about them? Indeed, what about all of us? In the disciples minds, it is no longer a good and advantageous thing for anyone to marry, because this would be to take a chance where the stakes are simply far too high. Now the disciples have a point, don t they? I wonder, if it were up to us, how would we answer the disciples logic? How would we respond to their objection? Maybe we d try to fit in another exception to the rule or two, or three. All of our natural sensibilities, and all of our human ideas and assumptions about God lead us to believe that the disciples must have misunderstood Jesus that there must be a way out of a truly miserable and unfulfilling marriage, and that once out, we would surely still be allowed a second chance at a happy and joyful marriage. I wonder, how many times in our Christian lives have we been motivated by what we believe is reasonable and sensible? And yet in the case of the disciples, all of these natural sensibilities are clearly contradicted by what Jesus has just said! So then, what are we left with? We can only conclude with the disciples that marriage is a terrible gamble, and probably not advisable for most, if not all people. And yet we know this conclusion must be wrong, because we know that God created them male and female (19:4)! God created marriage, and all that God created was good (Gen. 1:31; 1 Tim. 4:1-4)! And even after the entrance of sin into the world, Jesus still affirmed marriage as a good and beautiful thing! So what do we do with the logic and reasoning of the disciples? How will Jesus answer their objection? II. Matthew 19:11 12 But he said to them, Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. Now just because these verses are difficult to interpret doesn t mean that we need to despair of interpreting them correctly. Let s start off with the more widely accepted traditional interpretation. According to this view, when Jesus says, Not everyone can receive this saying, He s referring back to the disciples statement that it s better not to marry. So in other words, Jesus says to the disciples: Not everyone can live the celibate/single life that you re suggesting, but only those to whom it is given. Jesus then goes on to explain to the disciples that along with those who are physically unable to partake in the sexual union of marriage, so there are also those who have voluntarily chosen a life of celibacy (singleness) for the sake of the kingdom for the sake of a more single-minded devotion to Christ and His work (cf. 1 Cor. 7:32-35). These 2

are the only people who can live the single life that the disciples are suggesting. Jesus then concludes by exhorting the one who has been given the special gift of singleness to remain single. In my opinion, this interpretation absolutely cannot work. * In the first place, Jesus has completely ignored the disciples objection! He says nothing at all about the plight of those who have married and who now find themselves stuck in miserable marriages. What Jesus is supposedly saying to the disciples is, Not everyone can live the celibate/single life that you are suggesting, but only those to whom it is given. But the fact is that on this interpretation, what He s really saying is this, Not everyone can accept the idea that it s better not to marry, but only those to whom it is given. In other words, Jesus would actually be agreeing with the disciples! He would be saying that their objection is valid and legitimate, while telling the disciples at the same time that God has gifted only a few to live out this better and superior option of the single life. Remember, too, that this supposed gift of singleness is not simply the lack of a desire for marriage, but the ability to stay single specifically for the sake of kingdom work! And then when Jesus concludes, Let the one who is able to receive this receive it, the effect is this: If by the special grace of God you are able to stay single and desire to stay single for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, then by all means stay single! We can see how on this interpretation, the Roman Catholic idea of a celibate priesthood begins to make more sense! But I don t believe for a moment that Jesus was agreeing with the disciples. According to the more traditional view, when Jesus says, Not everyone can receive this saying, He s referring back to the disciples statement that it s better not to marry. But I believe (with others) that Jesus is actually referring to His own teaching in verses 4-9, and especially in verse nine. The disciples said to him, If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. * For a fuller explanation of the problems with this view, see Lenski (see also France s commentary on Matthew in the Tyndale New Testament Commentary series). In his more recent contribution to the NICNT France has changed his mind and actually adopts the view that he formerly argued against (in the Tyndale commentary). However, while France does provide a list of new objections against the view he formerly held (which I believe can all be answered), he fails to respond to his own original objections to the view he now holds! Hendriksen makes the case that Jesus is referring back to both His own teaching and to the objection of the disciples, but this seems exceedingly artificial and strained, if not grammatically impossible Jesus said, this saying, not these sayings ). In France s earlier commentary on Matthew in the Tyndale New Testament commentary series, he agrees that Jesus was referring back to his own teaching and then proposes the following interpretation (also adopted by the New Century Version and in large part by Hendriksen): The ideal of marriage is indeed a demanding one, to which not everyone is called, but it is a responsibility not to be evaded by those whom God calls to it. In other words, Only those to whom it is given (cf. 13:11 for the same idea of a special privilege for disciples) can receive (lit. find room for, cope with ) the demand of true Christian marriage. For a man on his own it is too hard; but where God s gift makes it possible, it is to be received. The rest of v. 12 then adds (as a sort of parenthesis) a list of those to whom it is not given, i.e. those whose calling is not to be married. On the whole, this interpretation seems very unnatural (to say the least). In the first place, it would mean that not all Christians can receive Jesus teaching because not all Christians have been given the divine enablement to live obediently and righteously in marriage! So then, how are we to know if God has given us what it takes to be married (i.e. to refuse divorce and remarriage if and when a marriage were to become unbearable)? But isn t this just a simple matter of the fact that God gives this grace to all of His disciples who ever get married? Secondly, this interpretation makes the eunuchs of verse twelve into a negative exception rather than a positive example (and the positive example seems to fit better with the context; cf. the traditional view mentioned above and the next and final point). Finally, Jesus conclusion at the end of verse 12 ( Let the one who is able to receive this receive it ) seems to make the first part of verse twelve much more than a mere parenthesis! France rightly feels the strain and awkwardness of the traditional view, but his alternative view also seems to miss the mark. 3

III. Matthew 19:11 But he said to them, Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. In verse nine, Jesus said: And I say (Greek: lego ) to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. And now in response to the disciples objection, Jesus affirms that Not everyone can receive this saying (Greek logos ). So what is Jesus doing? Is He letting people off the hook and just making more concessions for hardness of hearts (cf. 19:7-8)? Is He suggesting that it s understandable and alright when we fail to live up to the standard of His word? Not at all! The word for receive ( not everyone can receive this saying ) literally means to contain something or have room for something. Mark 2:2 And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room (choreo), not even at the door. John 2:6 There were six stone water jars there each holding (choreo) twenty or thirty gallons. So what does this word mean when it s used figuratively (as it is here in Matthew 19)? On one occasion, Jesus said to the Pharisees: John 8:37 You seek to kill me because my word (logos) finds no place (choreo) in you. In other words, the unbelieving Pharisees could not receive the sayings of Jesus. The problem was not intellectual, but moral. They could not receive Jesus word because they would not (cf. Lenski). And that s the very point Jesus seems to be making here in Matthew 19. In fact, it s a warning to the disciples, and to all of us, that we not be found among those who are unable to make room in our thinking and our living for the teaching of Jesus on divorce and remarriage no matter how extreme and radical and unreasonable it may seem. And no matter how we understand Jesus teaching on divorce and remarriage, we will be confronted with situations where His teaching will seem truly extreme, and radical, and even exceedingly unreasonable. Not everyone can make room in their hearts for my teaching, Jesus says, but only those to whom it is given. If the first part of this phrase was a warning, then the second part is actually a wonderful comfort and encouragement. Let s ask this question: To whom has it been given to find a place in their hearts for the teaching of Jesus? To whom has this wonderful privilege been given? To all of us! To all those who are followers and disciples of Jesus, and who have placed their trust in Him! Matthew 13:11 And he answered them, To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. Matthew 13:15 16 For this people s heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear These are two different Greek words ( lego for say and logos for saying ), but they re related to each other in the same semantic domain. 4

with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Not everyone can make room in their hearts for the teaching of Jesus (and specifically His teaching on divorce and remarriage), but by the free and sovereign grace of God, we are among those who can and who may! There is no teaching of Jesus, no matter how high and difficult it may be, that God will not give us the grace to believe and to live. So then, let s strive diligently to do what so many people are simply unable to do. We must humbly endeavor to accept what so many people will refuse to accept. As Jesus will say at the end of verse twelve: Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. So the first part of Jesus answer to the disciples question is both a warning and also an encouraging comfort. Jesus warns us not to be among those who refuse to make room in our hearts for His teaching on divorce and remarriage. But then Jesus comforts us by turning our attention to the sovereign grace of God. God s grace is not just a word or an idea that we throw around. God s grace is a living, breathing reality by which He enables us to live in joyful surrender to His word. We are among those who can receive the saying of Jesus because it has been given to us by God Himself. IV. Matthew 19:12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. So what s the point? Well, first of all, we need to see the shocking, and perhaps even offensive nature of Jesus words. Jesus uses the word eunuch a total of five times, and two of these times it s a verb (eunuched). But perhaps the most shocking thing of all was the idea that a person would make himself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven! The law clearly stated: Deuteronomy 23:1 (NIV) No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the LORD. It was at least partly for this reason that eunuchs were not only excluded from the temple worship, but shunned in general. One commentator points out that the word eunuch was always a term of disparagement, if not of abuse (France; Tyndale Commentary). But now, Jesus appears not simply to reverse the Old Testament ruling, but also to suggest that a person may purposefully eunuch himself for the sake of God s rule and reign through the Messiah! Now we may assume that Jesus is not talking about literal castration, but that wouldn t have diminished the sense of shock even in the slightest! If we are ever to come to grips with what Jesus means, then I think we need to come to grips with what Jesus actually says! When Jesus says that a person may purposefully eunuch himself for the sake of the kingdom, He is teaching something that His disciples would have understood to be exceedingly radical and extreme (no less so than His teaching on divorce and remarriage). So what exactly is He teaching? John Piper takes the position that those who eunuch themselves for the sake of the kingdom are those who choose to stay single after a divorce in obedience to God s will. My objections to this view are twofold. First of all, Jesus has so far made no specific allowance for divorce, even by itself. Divorce is unacceptable and remarriage after 5

Well clearly, Jesus is speaking hyperbolically. In some sense we could say that He is exaggerating His point whatever that point may be. I think we all agree that He s not referring to literal emasculation (cf. Mat. 18:8-9). So then, what is He referring to? Is He simply referring to a literal life of celibacy so that there are some to whom it has been given to remain single for the sake of full time kingdom work? But once again, far from correcting the disciples objection, this would actually be to grant their objection some measure of legitimacy ( you re right, but only in the case of a few ). This would also make Jesus mention of the literal eunuchs to be apparently very pointless (some people are literal eunuchs and some people choose to live as if they were eunuchs). And finally, this interpretation would contradict our understanding of verse eleven. When Jesus says, Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given, and then when He says in verse twelve, Let the one who is able to receive this receive it, it seems clear to me that He is exhorting all of his followers to make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven (and, of course, that would then include each and every single one of us). Compare Let the one who is able to receive this receive it with Jesus exhortation Matthew chapters eleven and thirteen: He who has ears to hear, let him hear (Matt. 11:15; 13:9, 43). Indeed, if it s truly for the sake of the kingdom, then in the context of Matthew wouldn t it be most natural to assume that it s required of all the citizens of the kingdom? So Jesus says that there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom, and then He exhorts all of us: Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. And we already know that it has been given to us to receive this teaching as disciples and followers of Jesus! So then, how is it that we make ourselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven? And if we think this sounds radical and extreme, well, that s because Jesus knows that this is radical and extreme! How are we to live out this truly radical, and extreme, and even shocking ethic of the kingdom? Well, let s consider some of the other radical, and extreme, and shocking things that Jesus said. Luke 14:26 (cf. 14:17-20) If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. divorce is also unacceptable. But on Piper s view, Jesus would now be assuming people who are already divorced and speaking specifically to their responsibility to stay single in obedience to God s will. But once again, the main thrust of Jesus teaching has to do with the illegitimacy of divorce in the first place, and this leads me to my second objection. The disciples problem is not with the prohibition of remarriage (at least not first of all), but rather with the prohibition of divorce ( if such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry [in the first place] )! The disciples expressed struggle is not with the difficulty and hardship of remaining single after a divorce. Indeed, they have just stated that it s better to be single than married! Since the disciples were supporting the better option of singleness, why would Jesus need to reassure them of God s grace to live the single life? Once again, the disciples have not expressed any concern about the difficulty of living the single life (whether before any potential marriage or after marriage). Therefore, on Piper s view of verse 12, Jesus seems to have totally missed the disciples point and therefore completely failed to answer their objection. 6

Luke 18:29 30 Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life. In Matthew, Jesus talks about making oneself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. In Luke, Jesus talks about leaving one s wife for the sake of the kingdom of God. I don t believe that the point in either of these verses is that someone should pursue a literal life of singleness! But then what is the point? The Apostle Paul sums everything up very clearly and very beautifully: 1 Corinthians 7:29 31 The appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. And in connection with this, we remember, too, the words of Jesus: Matthew 22:30 In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. So in order to alert us to the truly radical and extreme nature of what He is about to teach the disciples, and in order that He might build and lead up to the final and shocking conclusion, Jesus begins with the reality of eunuchs who have been so from birth (these are people who in the Old Testament would be excluded from the assembly of the Lord). Then Jesus moves to those eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men. And then Jesus comes to the final, shocking conclusion. There is yet another kind of eunuch and this is the one who has made himself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven and this is what I expect from all of My disciples. V. Matthew 19:12d Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. Conclusion The claims of the kingdom override all other claims (Morris). And so the point is just this: Let those who have wives live as though they had none. Let those who have husbands live as though they had none. In other words, especially now in this age of the kingdom, we must not cling to marriage as an end in itself, and certainly not as the chief source of our happiness! In the age to come, there will be no marriage. We will all find ourselves single for the sake of love to Christ and being loved by Christ. The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking [and neither is it a matter of marriage], but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Rom. 14:17). And when we really understand this, we ll no longer be able to conclude that the possibility of an unfulfilling marriage means that it s no longer good to marry. This is to make something of marriage indeed, this is to make far more of marriage than God ever intended. 7

But I think as Protestants, we can be guilty of this very thing in more ways that just one. What are the subtle ways that we view the married life as superior to the single life? What are the subtle ways that we view married people as having arrived in a way that single people haven t? What are the subtle ways that we view married people as having more to offer and contribute? I can say that one blatant example is the hesitancy of Bible believing Churches to consider single men for the pastorate. While, of course, much depends on the particular individual, I should hope that in principle a single man would fit wonderfully as the pastor of Living Word Bible Church. So how does Jesus respond to the disciples objection? Very simply, He exposes their misplaced priorities, and calls them to the absolute and consuming priority of the kingdom of heaven. Are we seeing just how radical and extreme this teaching really is? If I m single and desire to be married, I must never think to myself that if I were only married, all of my problems would be solved. As a single person who desires to be married, I must always be making myself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. If I m presently married, I must not make of my happy marriage an idol, and I must not make of my unfulfilling marriage a reason for hopelessness and despair (or for divorce and remarriage). As a married person, I must always be making myself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. And if I m one who has been divorced and who lives now without the possibility of remarriage, I must not think to myself that I can no longer live a happy and fulfilled life. Instead, even as I was called to do both before marriage, and during marriage, so also now after marriage, my calling is to make myself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The question is, are the realities of this age (such as marriage) more real to me than the pressing and glorious realities of the age to come (when we will, all of us, be single )? Life in this age has not been arranged for our comfort. Each of us follows Jesus with at least one particular cross of suffering discipleship. If a person s cross is the cross of not being able to be married [or being stuck in a miserable or unfulfilling marriage], the disciple can seek the grace to accept this painful assignment in brave endurance, knowing that the sufferings of this present age are not worth comparing to the glories of the age to come (Rom. 8:18). (Bruner) ** Where one feels unable to handle the singleness that God has [required, or the marriage that he may not leave], it is appropriate to cite the triple promise of Matt 7:7 ask, seek, knock: you will be given strength, resources, opened doors. (Bruner) This is the promise of God s sovereign grace (19:11, 12d). No matter what our circumstances may be (single, married, divorced), God has promised us His grace to always be making ourselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. ** We must keep a clear, biblical, eternal perspective, and remind ourselves repeatedly that compared to eternal life with God, this earthly life single or married, divorced or not is very short. James says, [We] are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes (James 4:14). (Piper) 8