Psalm 34:8 Reflections on a Sabbatical, Thoughts on Ministry by Rev. Dr. Kurt M. Billings St. James Lutheran Church, Verona, WI Richard Bullock and Richard Bruesehoff write in their book Clergy Renewal: The Alban Guide to Sabbatical Planning: A sabbatical encourages us to step off the treadmill long enough to change old habits with holy hope. We can be renewed in vision and hope and connect with the roots of our soul and God. A sabbatical is more than just a vacation, a chance to recharge our batteries for another year or two. David Ellingson describes sabbatical as a time to relearn and rehearse that critical capacity to reflect, which transforms dreams of vacation to new visions of vocation. A sabbatical is a life and soul changing time a time when perspective and the Holy Spirit can come together. I wanted my sabbatical to be like that: soul changing. After 22 years in Parish Ministry without a sabbatical, I had high hopes for mine. I yearned for more than just an extended vacation, although that would be welcome, too. I wanted something that would be transforming, something that would feed me on a very deep level. When I applied for my Lilly-funded Clergy Renewal Sabbatical, I thought long and hard on the central question: What will make your heart sing? I knew it was the right question to be asking of myself, and I am very grateful to the Lilly Endowment for raising this question as a part of the sabbatical planning process. Page 1 of 7
Focusing on this question in a deep and sustained way allowed me the opportunity to discover what really would bring joy to my heart and nourish my soul. (For those considering a Sabbatical and are engaged in Sabbatical planning, I would encourage taking this question to heart.) In the end, I focused on two areas of great interest to me: the Sabbath and food. I had been involved in the Lilly-funded Sabbath Renewal Project at Princeton Theological Seminary, and I wanted to live deeper into the Sabbath and Sabbath rest. I agree with Walter Brueggemann, who said: I have come to think that the recovery of the Sabbath is the most crucial and most demanding covenant command (spiritual discipline) now to be faced in the technological society. A sabbatical was the perfect opportunity to learn more, not only for my head but also for my heart, about the importance of the Sabbath in our world today. I also wanted to focus upon food. Timothy Luke Johnson from Emory University once said in a lecture he feared we were losing our understanding of The Lord s Supper because we were losing our understanding of what a meal is. That rang true for me. One of the activities that came out of my time with the Sabbath Renewal Project was the observance of a Sabbath Meal with my family. Each Sunday, our family would gather together for an extended meal. At our Sabbath Meal, there would be no talk of homework, parish activities or anything work related. In addition, we would use our Sabbath Voices while preparing and enjoying our meal and our time together. The Sabbath Meal came to be an important time for our family, as we would reconnect after a busy week and enjoy the gifts of God s grace once again. I wanted to build upon this and to look for ways that I could expand this practice in my ministry. I also wanted to incorporate elements of the Slow Food Movement into my Sabbatical as well. I felt there would be a great synergy between them all. The Slow Food Movement was founded in 1989 to counter the rise of fast food and the fast life. When McDonalds opened their first restaurant in Rome by the Spanish Steps, the Slow Food Movement was born in direct opposition to it. The Slow Food Movement encourages us to reject fast food and the fast life, while the Sabbath encourages us to step off the treadmill and reconnect with God, family and community. In the course of my sabbatical, I looked for ways to incorporate the philosophy of the Slow Food Movement with my understanding of the Sabbath and Sabbath meals. In the end, the sabbatical was everything I had hoped it would be and more. The opportunity to spend time with my family and break bread together at tables in Italy, Germany, and London was a priceless gift. The opportunity to step off the treadmill that is parish ministry long enough to rest, reconnect with friends and family, and rekindle a sense of call was also a tremendous gift. It was more than just an extended vacation; it was, in the words of Bullock and Bruesehoff, an Page 2 of 7
opportunity to be renewed in vision and hope and connect with the roots of (my) soul and God. I truly did not realize the breadth of time and depth of energy that parish ministry demands until I stepped away from it. The time away allowed me the rare opportunity to catch a glimpse of my ministry from the balcony, and the insights gained were truly a gift. I learned, above all, of the need to Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy. It is no secret that parish ministry is a long distance race and not a sprint; but too often, I discovered, I was engaging in ministry like it was a sprint. The daily demands, the deadlines, the crisis in the lives of those I serve all have a way of intruding deeply into my schedule and, ultimately, into my life. The Sabbath command to stop, rest, and reconnect with God, family, and community is a gracious gift from a gracious God, and one that I need to honor. I learned, once again, that we do not rest on the Sabbath when our work is done or because our work is done; rather, we rest because it is the Sabbath. There will always be another visit to be made, another phone call to receive, another article to write. On the Sabbath, we are given the gift of time to be used, not in the service of Holy work, but in the much needed service of Holy rest. As Abraham Heschel has said in his wonderful book Sabbath, One must abstain from toil and strain on the seventh day, even from strain in the service of God. Since my sabbatical, I have recommitted myself to resting and reconnecting with God and others on the Sabbath. I am fortunate to be involved in ministry with a colleague, Pastor Peter Narum, who also shares this commitment to Sabbath rest, and together, we have worked at holding each other accountable to be observing Sabbath rest. I also learned that too often, I have misunderstood Sabbath rest. I discovered once again that Sabbath rest is different than simply collapsing after a long work week. For too much of my ministry, I discovered I have been in a work/collapse/work cycle; it is not only my body that needs rest, but also my soul. I proclaim during my ministry that we are God s children, and that God s love for us is unconditional. On the Sabbath, I need to hear this message myself, and more importantly, I need to hear it not only with my head but with my heart. I found this communicated very powerfully as I gathered around the table with family and friends. Like the disciples, I too discover God s presence in the breaking of bread with those who love me. And it is then, in the breaking of the bread, the sharing of a holy meal with those who know me and still love me that I realize once again that I am loved, not because I am a pastor, but because I too am a child of God. While in Italy, I had this epiphany. I was having breakfast with a nice young man from Chicago. He and his wife were on their honeymoon and were staying at the same Agriturismo where my family and I were staying. The place where I live in America is only two hours north of Chicago, and this young man was delighted to meet someone form back home, or at least, close to it. While we were making small talk, he was asking about our trip to Europe and was curious to know what I Page 3 of 7
did for a living. In many and various ways, this nice young man attempted to find out my occupation, but I wouldn t tell him. Instead, I simply said that my family and I were enjoying a sabbatical. So many times, we find out information about a person s occupation or place of employment, only to label them and put them into a box. But while on sabbatical, I wanted to be known by my first name, as a baptized child of God. I realized that I was taking rest from my role as a pastor, taking rest from the work I deeply love and feel called to, but taking rest from it nonetheless. Although the young man was probably a bit confused, it felt good just being known by my baptismal name and resting from the rest. On a personal and professional level, the focus on meals was wonderful. Others often asked how much weight we gained on our trip, as we ate our way through Italy, Germany and into London. My response surprised them. We all lost weight. We ate well, but we ate slowly, and as a result, did not over eat. We also did not eat processed foods; instead, we honored the Slow Food Movements mission of eating local and sustainable. In addition, we were continually surprised by the joy of table fellowship, and I am more committed than ever to finding ways to build upon table fellowship in my ministry. Again, as Heschel has commented: The soul cannot celebrate alone, so the body must be invited to partake in the rejoicing of the Sabbath. The challenge, of course, is to take what has been learned on foreign soil and incorporate it into the work and rhythms of our everyday lives. There was a great deal of interest from members of the church to hear about my experiences and what I had learned. Instead of simply telling them, however, I also wanted to help them experience it. So, upon my return to the church, I organized a number of meals which I helped prepared for various groups within the church. In the end, approximately 250 people joined me for a Slow Food meal and a discussion about my sabbatical. There was genuine excitement and joy over my sabbatical experience and my emphasis on Sabbath rest and table fellowship. The difficulty, I have discovered, is sustaining this interest and implementing this change. I have come to realize in many and various ways what a large cultural shift this represents. I believe Walter Brueggemann is right,...the recovery of the Sabbath is the most crucial and most demanding covenant command (spiritual discipline) now to be faced in the technological society. However, that does not make it any easier. It is swimming upstream to talk about the importance of Sabbath rest in our world today. In most faith traditions, the purpose and meaning of food goes beyond merely satisfying one s hunger and restoring the body with nutrients. Food also contains the spiritual qualities of fellowship and hospitality, and there is sacredness to gathering around the table with others. Unfortunately, the insidious, fast-paced nature of our lives often leads to a breakdown in community and to isolation. We succumb to both fast food and the fast life. The sharing of Page 4 of 7
meals helps foster a sense of community, builds relationships as well as connects us to the Creator and creation. Although it is goes against the cultural current, I continue to look for ways to help others experience the joy of a Sabbath meal and will be implementing a new small group around this theme in the fall. I have found a much more receptive audience for my conversations about food, the importance of meals table fellowship and Slow Food. In 2010, I was asked to speak at a gathering in Madison, Wisconsin on Earth Day about the Sacred Act of Eating. This was an interfaith event, featuring discussions on food from a Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Christian perspective. The event was very well attended. During the afternoon workshops, a number of people inquired about my understanding of Sabbath meals. It was a good opportunity to again relate my sabbatical experiences as well as to discuss local food traditions and remind people that our food choices affect our communities and the rest of the world. Coincidently, at that time Michael Pollan s book In Defense of Food was chosen by the University of Wisconsin as a part of their campus-wide read, and Michael spent four days at the University speaking about the topic of food. This provided me an opportunity to have more conversations about my understanding of table fellowship and Sabbath meals from my faith perspective. The biggest impact my sabbatical has had on my ministry is in the area of emphasis. No longer do I focus so heavily upon programs and programming within the church. While running Sunday School programs, youth groups and other activities remain important, there is a deeper need and hunger in our world than programs by themselves will ever fulfill. I believe that people today more than ever are hungry for community and relationships; they long to be in a relationship with Christ and with others in the community. I have come to believe, as a result of my sabbatical experience, that taking time to gather around the table with others feeds not only our bodies but also our deep need to connect with others. Just as Christ made himself known to the disciples on the road to Emmaus in the breaking of the bread, I believe that Christ still makes himself known to us today as we sit down at the table with others and break bread together. While this can be done in a larger setting, I believe it is best done in small group settings. As a result, we look for ways that we can organize small groups around food and table fellowship. We all need to eat, but during the course of our busy weeks we often eat in our cars or eat in route to another meeting or event. However, remembering the Sabbath and the need to slow down creates fertile soil for relationships to be created, nourished and sustained as we gather around the table with others. It remains a central focus in my ministry. In addition, we are currently exploring the possibility of adopting the Dinner Church model St. Lydia s uses at Trinity Lutheran Lower East Side Parish in New York City. Building upon the idea that Christianity first spread as a supper club, St. Lydia s prepares for its Sunday evening worship by preparing to Page 5 of 7
celebrate a meal together. The small group gathers together to prepare the meal, and as they break bread together, they give thanks to God for the blessings of food upon the table and the people who gather around it. It is a very powerful way to taste and see that the Lord is good and that God cares and provides for us. In the same way we are reminded that, as Christ s disciples, we too are to care both for creation, ensuring that the food we eat is good, clean and fair, and also to care for those who gather around the table with us. Moreover, we are called to be ever mindful of those who do not have enough to eat or a place at the table, and thus are called to acts of justice on behalf of the poor. We recently started a Community Meal for which there has been great energy among a core group of people in our church. On the first Wednesday of the month, we set the table and invite others in the community to join us. The mission statement of the Community Meal is "In the breaking of bread, we receive and give, growing together. The meal is designed not only for those who do not have enough to eat, but also for those who too often eat alone, and yearn for someone with whom they can break bread together. The meal has been very well received, and recently we received a generous monetary gift to help fund it. During my involvement with the local Slow Food chapter in Madison, I have worked with many wonderful people who care deeply about the earth, local food traditions, and the need to ensure that the food we eat is good, clean and fair. As a part of my sabbatical experience, we have hosted a Winter Farmer s Market at our church, inviting local food producers to come and sell their locally grown produce, meat and poultry. I have also helped the UW Madison Slow Food Chapter feed students and teach about the importance of real food and table fellowship. While I have enjoyed my participation with these various groups immensely, I have found one thing greatly lacking our connection to God. When I have gathered together to eat with these groups, they do not give thanks to our Creator God for the blessings of seed time and harvest which we enjoy. The secular nature of the group at these times is apparent. As a result, the church has a wonderful opportunity to witness to the God from whom all blessings flow and to acknowledge our relationship with this Creator God as we give thanks for the blessings and bounty of creation. To this end, I am working with a group from Catholic Charities and their Center for Land and Peace as a way of drawing attention to our connection not only to creation but also to our Creator God. In addition, I am leading a group of 24 people from our congregation back to Italy in the Summer of 2011, for an adventure in Slow Food and Back Door Travel. (See Rick Steves for a description of the Back Door Travel philosophy.) As a result of this trip, I hope that others can experience a different way of life that is Page 6 of 7
less hectic and more focused upon table fellowship and community. I agree with Rick Steves, who recently commented at a lecture at Northwestern University, that travel is indeed a spiritual act. My hope is that this trip will be a spiritual experience and will help us reexamine the role food plays in our life and the importance of table fellowship. The life of my family has forever been changed as a result of our sabbatical and our experiences with Slow Food. We now deliberately make room at the table in our home for family and friends to gather. Meal times become more than just an occasion to feed and nourish our bodies; they also become an opportunity to strengthen our relationships and our family. Recently, my daughter brought some of her college friend s home to gather together around the table. The community that real table fellowship creates is truly miraculous, and we sense God is present with us in the breaking of bread together. I embarked upon my sabbatical journey, determined to learn about the ways in which meals help foster a sense of community, build relationships and help us celebrate the Sabbath. I remain more committed than ever to the ways in which meals help connect us to God and to one another, and I will continue to explore ways that this can be implemented in the church. I continually give thanks to God, and to the Lilly Endowment, for blessing me on this journey. Page 7 of 7