A PARENTAL GUIDE Text: Proverbs 22:6 Key Word: Parenting Key Thought: What Things must Be Done to Be a Successful Christian Parent? Parenting is one of the most challenging things to do in our world today. It takes so many skills in order to be successful. You must have the understanding of a doctor/nurse; principle/school teacher; judge/lawyer; policeman; navigator/map reader; counsellor/mediator; chef/waitress; maid/gardener; softball or soccer coach/cheerer in the stands; knowledgeable in the stars and musicians that affect your child; interior/exterior designer. But you also need to become a worshipper; one who prays and studies God s Word; a witness of your faith, a tither of your income, a lover of your spouse. You may wonder how all these things can be done? If you live long enough, you will have opportunity to gain skills in all these areas plus hundreds of others. Yet I believe many of these can be improved by doing at least three crucial things to improve your parenting skills. What Things are Crucial in Successful Parenting? I. PUT IN PLACE CONCISE BOUNDARIES (II Samuel 3:11-14) II. POUR OUT COVENANT BLESSINGS (Genesis 49:1,2,28) III. PATTERN A CONSISTENT BLUEPRINT (John 13:15) I. PUT IN PLACE CONCISE BOUNDARIES (II Samuel 3:11-14) Every child (and parent) will have to develop in areas of responsibility, self-control and freedom. All of these areas and many more will be determined by the character that is developed within your child. A person s character is one s destiny. Drs. Henry Cloud & John Townsend Boundaries with Kids Zondervan Publishing House, p.14 As a parent if we want to shape our child s destiny, we must take an active role in shaping their character. The patterns that are developed early in life will certainly be lived out later in life. We are best to begin the process of change as early as we can. It is better to mould a child then attempt to change a man. Page 1 of 7
I. PUT IN PLACE CONCISE BOUNDARIES (II Samuel 3:11-14) (Contd.) None of us are born with boundaries fully developed in our lives. They must become internalized through the relationships we develop and the disciplines that we are taught. Parents who are sensitive in this area will raise children who understand who they are; what they are responsible for; how they need to make wise choices; and the good and bad consequences that will take place because of their choices. A. Respect/Respect/Respect Of all the things that are vital to raising a healthy child, I believe that respect needs to be on the top of the list. A child will find it difficult to respect others if his/her parents do not show respect to each other or to their child. According to the Bible there must be respect for... 1. Mothers - Leviticus 19:3 2. Elderly and Revered - Leviticus 19:32; Titus 2:2 3. Wives to their husbands - Ephesians 5:33 4. Husbands to their wives - I Peter 3:7 5. Church leadership - I Timothy 3:4,8,11 6. Those we work for - Ephesians 6:5; I Timothy 6:1 7. The unsaved - I Peter 3:16 8. Everyone - I Peter 2:17 B. Spiritual Principles I have discovered that my wisdom comes to an end very quickly. But when I looked into the Bible I found there was a resource of information that definitely aided in the character development of my children. I can remember when our children were young that we chose not to have a TV in our home. It gave us much more opportunity to talk together, read together and apply the principles of life without all the contrary teaching that came from programming and advertisements. Fill your home with Christian music; remove whatever is displeasing to the Lord. Buy Bible story books with lots of pictures. As soon as your children can read, have THEM read the Bible stories. Pray with them on a regular basis. Don t forget to thank God for the food He has supplied you with as well as your home, job, and friends. Be cheerful. Don t gossip. Don t feed your child negative thoughts from a bitter heart. You ll be surprised what they can pick out of a conversation. Let people know if their behaviour is unacceptable in your home. Feel free to leave places that teach otherwise. Page 2 of 7
II. POUR OUT COVENANT BLESSINGS (Genesis 49:1,2,28) We all have a powerful need to know that someone in this world loves us and accepts us unconditionally. We especially crave our parent s blessing, and without it, we may become angry and driven, or detached and empty. We may also feel this hurtful lack between brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, or even within our religious congregation. Gary Smalley & John Trent PhD The Blessing A parental blessing is not something new to the Scriptures. We can see it as far back as Adam and Eve. When they failed to abide to God s clear boundaries, we found that they quickly noticed God s blessing was lifted from their lives (Genesis 3:8-11). It brought them years of heartache. This pattern has repeated itself over and over again. Their eldest son killed their youngest because he was mastered by the sin that crouched at the door of his heart (Genesis 4:7). God did not end His purpose just because this first family headed into a number of deadly consequences for their actions. Our God is the Only God of the second chance. He gave to Adam and Eve a third son whom they named Seth which means granted or substitute. It was through Seth that God proclaimed the genealogy of Jesus (Luke 3:38). What a blessing to have your name recorded with those in the lineage of the Only begotten Son of God! In any Covenant/Family Blessing there were a number of elements involved A. A Meaningful Touch - Then his father Isaac said to him, Come here, my son, and kiss me. 27. So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him... Then Israel (Jacob) said, Bring them (Manassseh and Ephraim) to me so I may bless them. 10... So Joseph brought his sons close to him, and his father kissed them and embraced them... 14 But Israel reached out his right hand and put it on Ephraim s head, though he was the younger, and crossing his arms, he put his left hand on Manasseh s head, even though Manasseh was the firstborn. Genesis 27:26,27 Genesis 48:9,10,14 Page 3 of 7
II. POUR OUT COVENANT BLESSINGS (Genesis 49:1,2,28) (Contd.) B. A Message Spoken - A spoken blessing can offer tremendous incentive for a child to change his/her action(s). Silence is not golden when blessings need to be pronounced over our children. Begin when they are babies and continue to encourage them with words of confident blessing at crucial points in their lives. And a voice from heaven said, This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Matthew 3:17 C. A High Value Attached to One Being Blessed - The Hebrew word for blessing means to bow the knee. Few of us see our children as those that we should humble ourselves before and respect; show reverence awe; wonder. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others greater than yourselves. 4. Each of you should not look only on your own interests, but also on the interests of others. Philippians 2:3,4 D. A Foreseeing of a Future Blessing - Most of us live in our past while a few of us live for the present. It is almost undetectable to find anyone living in their future. Why do we find it difficult to foresee what God may have for our lives? I believe that we play an important role in helping our children obtain reachable goals for their lives that will bring them and us great satisfaction. Then Jacob called for his sons and said: Gather around so I can tell you what will happen to you in days to come. Genesis 49:1 *** Thomas J. Watson, Sr., died six weeks after naming his son as the new head of IBM, the company the elder Watson had led for more than forty years. The junior Watson said his promotion made him the most frightened man in America. But he took the helm and led IBM into the computer era and tenfold corporate growth. His success was made possible, he said later, by his dad s confidence in and acceptance of him during his college years, when he was more interested in flying aeroplanes than in studying or applying himself. *** Today in the Word, February 7, 1997, p. 14 Page 4 of 7
II. POUR OUT COVENANT BLESSINGS (Genesis 49:1,2,28) (Contd.) E. An Active Commitment to Ensure That the Blessing Is Fulfilled When our children were young, we wanted them to learn to play the piano. It never would have happened if we hadn t purchased a piano and enrolled them all in piano lessons. We also had to keep to our word that we would pay for those lessons as long as they lived at home and were going to school. There were times when they wanted to quit but we stood firm that they would not stop until they moved out of our home and went to college. III. PATTERN A CONSISTENT BLUEPRINT (John 13:15) Up to this point we could understand all this exhortation as saying Do as I Say. This final point really heads into the realm of Do as I Do. Our children will never follow what we say if we live a life that is hypocritical. We need to be careful because our children often mirror our lives. The trouble with children is that they don t know when to turn off. ** One blistering hot day when they had guests for dinner, Mother asked 4-year-old Johnny to return thanks. But I don t know what to say! the boy complained. Oh, just say what you hear me say his mother replied. Obediently the boy bowed his head and mumbled, Oh Lord, why did I invite these people over on a hot day like this? ** Source Unknown One of the main reasons why Jesus came to earth other than to become our Saviour was to be our example. We could follow everything He did and said without sinning. His act of washing their feet was much more significant than we often suggest. It paved the way for these rugged disciples to set as a goal in their character development. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. John 13:15 As parents today, you are setting the footsteps that your children will follow. If you don t like the direction they are taking, look closely at the example you are setting before them. If your example is right, then continue in your ways. If not, then its time for you to make changes. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. II Thessalonians 3:7 Page 5 of 7
C:\User\Documents\WPWin(13.0)\WPWin 2013\\Proverbs 22_6.wpd Date: May 19/13 (Logan s Baby Dedication) Place: FCA Time: 10:30Am Song: The Potter s Hand - G Page 6 of 7
A PARENTAL GUIDE Text: Proverbs 22:6 Key Word: Parenting Key Thought: What Things must Be Done to Be a Successful Christian Parent? What Things are Crucial in Successful Parenting? I. PUT IN PLACE CONCISE BOUNDARIES (II Samuel 3:11-14) A. Respect/Respect/Respect 1. Mothers - Leviticus 19:3 2. Elderly and Revered - Leviticus 19:32; Titus 2:2 3. Wives to their husbands - Ephesians 5:33 4. Husbands to their wives - I Peter 3:7 5. Church leadership - I Timothy 3:4,8,11 6. Those we work for - Ephesians 6:5; I Timothy 6:1 7. The unsaved - I Peter 3:16 8. Everyone - I Peter 2:17 B. Spiritual Principles II. POUR OUT COVENANT BLESSINGS (Genesis 49:1,2,28) - Genesis 3:8-11; 4:7 A. A Meaningful Touch - Genesis 27:26,27; Genesis 48:9,10,14 B. A Message Spoken - Matthew 3:17 C. A High Value Attached to One Being Blessed - Philippians 2:3,4 D. A Foreseeing of a Future Blessing - Genesis 49:1 E. An Active Commitment to Ensure That the Blessing Is Fulfilled III. PATTERN A CONSISTENT BLUEPRINT (John 13:15) - II Thessalonians 3:7