AMAZING GRACE FOR THE HUMAN RACE DRAMATIC PERSONAE (CAST OF CHARACTERS) DEDICATED DAVE (OR DEDICATED DEBBIE): Super competitive and obnoxious always tries to make it to the finish line before anyone else and doesn t care who he knocks over along the way. This guy is a stickler for the rules but often doesn t follow them himself. LAZY LARRY (OR LAZY LUCY): A super lazy person. Tries everything he can to get out of actually doing any work but loves to take credit whenever things go right. / JUDGE: Describes the action and narrates the story, periodically stepping into the story to teach lessons and such. FOR IT IS BY GRACE YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED, THROUGH FAITH - AND THIS IS NOT FROM YOURSELVES, IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD - NOT BY WORKS, SO THAT NO ONE CAN BOAST. EPHESIANS, 2:8-9 SKIT #1 - IN TODAY S SKIT, WE INTRODUCE THE AUDIENCE TO DEDICATED DAVE AND LAZY LARRY, TWO CLUELESS BUT COMPETITIVE RUNNERS WHO SHOULD BOTH BE TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE BUT INSTEAD ARE CONSTANTLY FOCUSING ON KNOCKING EACH OTHER OUT OF THE RACE. DEDICATED DAVE CONSTANTLY WANTS TO DO MORE WORK, WHEREAS LAZY LARRY THINKS HE SHOULD WIN JUST BECAUSE HE S SUCH A GREAT GUY. NEITHER OF THEM ARE RIGHT AND SOON THEY REALIZE THEY SHOULD REALLY BE FOCUSING ON WHERE THEY ARE GOING RATHER THAN ON HOW COOL THEY ARE. IN TODAY S SKIT, WE INTRODUCE THE AUDIENCE TO DEDICATED DAVE AND LAZY LARRY, TWO CLUELESS BUT COMPETITIVE RUNNERS WHO- WAITAMINNIT! WHO SAYS I M CLUELESS?!? (PAUSE) AND WHO SAYS I M COMPETITIVE?!?...OK, IN TODAY S SKIT WE INTRODUCE THE AUDIENCE TO TWO RUNNERS- WAITAMINIT, WHO SAYS WE RE RUNNERS?!? IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE IN THE SCRIPT! / (CHECK SCRIPT TO SEE IF THIS IS 1
TRUE)... OH, OK... ANYWAY...IN TODAY S SKIT, WE INTRODUCE THE AUDIENCE TO DEDICATED DAVE AND LAZY LARRY, RUNNERS WHO- WAITAMINIT, WHERE ARE WE TRYING TO GO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL, WHERE ARE WE GOING THAT WE HAVE TO RUN SO FAST? YOU ONLY ASK THAT BECAUSE YOU RE SO SLOW! AM NOT! AM TOO! AM NOT! AM TOO! AM NOT! AM TOO! (This may go on for a really long time for comedic effect) OH YEAH? HOW ABOUT WE RACE TO SEE WHO S FASTER? OK, LET S GO! WHERE TO? GOOD QUESTION! WHY DON T YOU RUN OVER THERE, (indicates a place really far away) AND I LL RUN TO RIGHT ABOUT HERE? (indicates a place really close to himself) WAITAMINIT, THAT S NOT FAIR AT ALL. I D HAVE TO RUN FARTHER THAN YOU. (pause) WELL MY FEET HURT. 2
WELL WHY DON T WE DO IT THIS WAY...WE LL BOTH RUN TO ALL THE WAY OVER THERE. OK. AND WHEN WE GET HALF WAY, WE LL GET DOWN AND DO SOME PUSHUPS! UH...OK. AND THEN AFTER THAT WE CAN DO SOME SQUATS! I DON T THINK I LIKE SQUATS. AND THEN AFTER THAT WE CAN ARM WRESTLE AND THE WINNER OF THAT CAN MOVE ON TO PHASE 5! WHAT S PHASE 5? ARM WRESTLING WITH THE OTHER ARM! I DON T THINK I LIKE THIS GAME. YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU RE WEAK! AM NOT! AM TOO! (REPEAT for comedic effect) WAITAMINIT GUYS! YOU NEVER DECIDED WHERE IT WAS YOU WANTED TO GET TO. ISN T THAT MORE IMPORTANT THAN ARM WRESTLING WITH BOTH ARMS? (pause) WELL...HE STARTED IT. DID NOT! DID TOO! (REPEAT for comedic effect) WAITAMINIT YOU GUYS, WHY DON T YOU BOTH SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME FOR A MOMENT. 3
THERE WAS A GUY NAMED PAUL WHO LIVED A LONG TIME AGO WHO SAID SOME STUFF THAT WOULD HELP YOU BOTH OUT IF YOU WOULD JUST LISTEN. WAITAMINIT...THIS GUY PAUL, I THINK I VE HEARD OF HIM BEFORE...DIDN T HE WRITE A BOOK OR SOMETHING? COME ON DAVE, HE WROTE THE BIBLE! WELL LARRY, HE DIDN T WRITE THE WHOLE BIBLE, BUT HE WROTE A LOT OF IT. AND IN THIS ONE PART HE SAID: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN? IT MEANS THAT IF YOU GUYS WANT TO GET TO HEAVEN YOU CAN T GET THERE BY BEING REALLY AWESOME AND YOU CAN T GET THERE BY SIMPLY FOLLOWING A BUNCH OF RULES AND YOU DEFINITELY CAN T GET THERE BY ARM WRESTLING! WELL HOW CAN WE GET THERE? PAUL SAID YOU CAN GET TO HEAVEN SIMPLY BY BELIEVING IN JESUS. I DON T KNOW, THAT SOUNDS TOO EASY. ARE YOU SURE THAT ARM WRESTLING WON T DO IT? (seriously pondering) TOO EASY IS JUST MY STYLE! I LIKE IT WHEN THINGS ARE EASY! MAYBE I SHOULD BELIEVE IN JESUS. (pause) YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU RE- OH, NOW DAVE, GO EASY ON HIM. MAYBE LARRY S FIGURED SOMETHING OUT THAT YOU HAVEN T. MAYBE YOU LL COME BACK TOMORROW AND JOIN US FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTUROUS STORY ABOUT... EVERYBODY AMAZING GRACE FOR THE HUMAN RACE! End SKIT #1 4
FOR ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. ROMANS, 3:23 SKIT #2: IN TODAY S SKIT, DAVE AND LARRY ARE AT IT AGAIN. LARRY HAS DECIDED THAT HE BELIEVES IN JESUS BUT DOESN T REALLY KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS YET. DAVE THINKS JESUS IS COOL BUT THINKS THAT HE S GOING TO GET INTO HEAVEN ANYWAY BECAUSE HE S SUCH A GREAT GUY. IN TODAY S SKIT- WAITAMINIT, WHAT S A SKIT? NOT AGAIN... A SKIT IS... (HOLDS UP A DICTIONARY OR OTHER HUGE SCARY BOOK)...A SHORT COMEDY SKETCH OR PIECE OF HUMOROUS WRITING, ESPECIALLY A PARODY. WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN? ANYWAY, TODAY, DAVE AND LARRY- WHY IS HE ALWAYS FIRST? (thinks for a bit) BECAUSE. THAT S WHY. IT S ACTUALLY BECAUSE I M SO AWESOME! NO YOU RE NOT! YES I AM! (REPEAT for comedic effect) NO YOU RE NOT, CUZ YOU RE NOT EVEN GOING TO HEAVEN! YES I AM! NO YOU RE NOT! HEY NOW, GUYS... YEAH, YESTERDAY, THIS GUY SAID IF I BELIEVED IN JESUS I COULD GO TO HEAVEN AND 5
THEN I SAID I DID AND NOW I GET TO GO TO HEAVEN AND YOU DON T! WELL THAT S NOT EXACTLY WHAT I- WELL I GET TO GO TO HEAVEN TOO! NO YOU DON T! YEAH I DO, BECAUSE YESTERDAY I WENT TO SCHOOL AND I GOT ALL A S AND THEN I HELPED MY GRANDMA BAKE COOKIES AND I WAS NICE TO MY SISTER ALL DAY AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING NASTY TO ANYBODY! AW, MAN, I GOT A B- IN MATH AND I DON T EVEN HAVE A SISTER! NOW I CAN T GO TO HEAVEN... WAITAMINIT GUYS! IT DOESN T MATTER WHAT GRADES YOU GET. YOU CAN T EARN YOUR WAY INTO HEAVEN! OH THAT S RIGHT! YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN JESUS, DAVE! THEN WE DON T HAVE TO BE NICE TO ANYBODY! NO THAT S NO IT EITHER! YOU DO GET INTO HEAVEN IF YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS, BUT BELIEVING IN JESUS MEANS MORE THAN JUST SAYING YOU BELIEVE IN HIM. IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN HIM, YOU LL WANT TO DO GOOD THINGS BECAUSE...WELL, HE LIKES IT WHEN YOU DO! WELL THAT DOESN T SOUND VERY EASY AT ALL! WELL, IT S REALLY EASY BUT IT S ALSO KIND OF HARD. YOU REMEMBER THAT GUY PAUL WE TALKED ABOUT YESTERDAY? DIDN T HE WRITE A LOT OF THE BIBLE? YES, VERY GOOD, DAVE! WELL, PAUL WROTE THAT all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 6
END SKIT #2 WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN? IT MEANS THAT EVERYBODY DOES BAD STUFF, NO MATTER HOW GOOD THEY TRY TO BE. AND NOBODY CAN BE AS GOOD AS JESUS. BUT IF WE BELIEVE IN JESUS, HE WILL HELP US BE GOOD. SO AGAIN, IT S BOTH EASY AND HARD! SO IT S HARD AFTER ALL? I THINK I M GONNA BELIEVE IN JESUS TOO! (pause) YEAH WELL, I BELIEVED IN JESUS FIRST! OH, COME ON GUYS... COME BACK TOMORROW AND JOIN US FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTUROUS STORY ABOUT... EVERYBODY AMAZING GRACE FOR THE HUMAN RACE! IF THE LORD DELIGHT S IN A MAN S WAY, HE MAKES HIS STEPS FIRM: THOUGH HE STUMBLE, HE WILL NOT FALL, FOR THE LORD UPHOLDS HIM WITH HIS HAND. PSALM 37:23-24 SKIT #3: IN TODAY S SKIT, DAVE AND LARRY TRY TO RUN A RACE BUT THEIR OLD HABITS KEEP BOGGING THEM DOWN. ALSO, THEY CAN T STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER. THIS EVENTUALLY CAUSES THEM TO QUESTION THE WHOLE POINT OF FOLLOWING JESUS. IN TODAY S EXCITING, ADVENTUROUS, EDITION- HEY LARRY, HOW S IT GOING? OH, HI DAVE! I DIDN T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE RUNNING TODAY. YEAH, ISN T IT AWESOME THAT WE RE BOTH RUNNERS AND WE RE BOTH RUNNING TODAY AND WE BOTH BELIEVE IN JESUS, SO WE RE BOTH GOING TO HEAVEN? 7
YEAH, THAT S PRETTY AWESOME. AND NOW THAT WE BOTH BELIEVE IN JESUS WE KNOW THAT IT DOESN T MATTER WHO WINS THIS RACE, AS LONG AS WE BOTH BELIEVE IN JESUS WE RE BOTH GETTING TO HEAVEN. ISN T THAT AWESOME? YEAH, THAT S PRETTY AWESOME. AND SINCE WE RE BOTH GOING TO GET TO HEAVEN AND WE BOTH BELIEVE IN JESUS, I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST BE REALLY HAPPY FOR ME WHEN I BEAT YOU IN THIS RACE TODAY. HUH? YEAH, I THINK THAT NOW THAT I M GOING TO HEAVEN AND I BELIEVE IN JESUS AND ALL, I M GOING TO RUN FASTER THAN EVER! WELL, THAT S NOT VERY NICE! NO, IT S COOL! NOW THAT I BELIEVE IN JESUS, I M PRETTY SURE I M GONNA WIN EVERY RACE! I M NOT SURE THAT S HOW IT WORKS... OK, GUYS, GET READY... (they get ready to run) ON YOUR MARKS! GET SET! GO! (they run as fast as they can around the whole yard and around all of the kids, finally, Dedicated Dave loses by a nose to Lazy Larry) MAN, WHAT AN AWESOME RACE! WHATEVER. WHAT S THE MATTER DAVE? AREN T YOU HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND LARRY? NOT REALLY. WHY NOT? 8
WELL, I THOUGHT THAT IF I BELIEVED IN JESUS HE WOULD HELP ME BE GOOD. ISN T THAT WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME? WELL...YEAH... WELL, IF I BELIEVE AND JESUS AND HE HELPS ME BE GOOD, WHY CAN T HE HELP ME BE GOOD AT RUNNING? YEAH, DOESN T IT KIND OF SEEM LIKE JESUS LIKES ME MORE THAN DAVE SINCE I WON THE RACE? LOOK, GUYS...JESUS LOVES YOU BOTH AND HE ABSOLUTELY WILL HELP YOU. BOTH OF YOU. BUT LIFE ISN T ALWAYS ABOUT WINNING AND LOSING. A LOT OF TIMES IT S REALLY MORE ABOUT FOLLOWING JESUS EVEN IF YOU DON T WIN. YOU CAN T WIN ALL THE TIME. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO BE A GRACIOUS LOSER. MAN, THIS IS HARD! YEAH, THIS ISN T EASY AT ALL! BUT LOOK, DAVE. JESUS IS HELPING YOU, RIGHT NOW. JUST KNOWING THAT YOU WON T ALWAYS WIN, DOESN T THAT MAKE YOU FEEL A LITTLE BIT NICER TOWARD YOUR FRIEND LARRY? HMM...YEAH, I GUESS IT DOES! AND LARRY, KNOWING THAT YOU WON T ALWAYS BE THE LOSER OR THE WINNER, DOESN T THAT MAKE YOU GRATEFUL FOR YOUR WIN TODAY? HMM...YEAH, I GUESS IT DOES! WELL, THAT S JUST AWESOME ALL AROUND! WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU GUYS RUN AROUND THE BUILDING FOUR TIMES JUST FOR SOME FUN EH? / UMMM...NO THANKS! 9
END SKIT #3 COME BACK TOMORROW AND JOIN US FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTUROUS STORY ABOUT... EVERYBODY AMAZING GRACE FOR THE HUMAN RACE! LET US RUN WITH ENDURANCE THE RACE THE RACE THAT IS SET BEFORE US, LOOKING UNTO JESUS, THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH HEBREWS 12:1-2 SKIT #4: IN TODAY S SKIT, DAVE AND LARRY JOIN FORCES TO SHOW EVERYBODY HOW HARD THEY VE TRAINED AND HOW WELL THEY CAN RUN BUT WHEN LARRY STARTS TO STUMBLE HE NEEDS SOME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. IN TODAY S INSTALLMENT OF- HEY LARRY, WHAT KIND OF SHOES ARE THOSE? COME ON, GUYS, YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY TIME. CAN T I JUST FINISH THE INTRODUCTION- THESE ARE SPECIAL RUNNER S SHOES. MY MOM GOT THEM FOR ME CUZ I VE BEEN DOING BETTER IN MATH CLASS. THAT S AWESOME, DUDE. WTG. SO, WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS LEARNED SINCE DAY ONE? WELL, FIRST, I LEARNED THAT IF YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS YOU GET TO GO TO HEAVEN. GOOD ONE, LARRY. BUT THEN WE LEARNED THAT BELIEVING IN JESUS MEANS DOING WHAT HE WANTS US TO DO. YEAH, WHICH SOUNDS REALLY HARD, BUT IF WE REALLY TRY, JESUS WILL HELP US OUT! BUT THEN WE LEARNED THAT BELIEVING IN 10
JESUS DOESN T MEAN YOU ALWAYS WIN AT STUFF. BUT IT DOES HELP YOU WHEN YOU LOSE. WOW GUYS, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU VE COME A LONG WAY! I LL SAY! I USED TO BELIEVE ARM-WRESTLING COULD GET YOU TO HEAVEN! YEAH, YOU DID! (both laugh) WELL ALRIGHT GUYS, I HAVE ONLY ONE LESSON FOR YOU LEFT. WHAT S THAT? YEAH, I THOUGHT WE KNEW EVERYTHING! WELL, ALMOST. THE LAST THING YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS THAT YOU HAVE TO ENDURE TO THE END! WHAT S ALL THAT MEAN? WAITAMINIT, I THINK I KNOW... (HOLDS UP A DICTIONARY OR OTHER HUGE SCARY BOOK)...ENDURE...TO SUFFER SOMETHING PAINFUL OR DIFFICULT...PATIENTLY... (pause) WHAT S ALL THAT MEAN? WELL, DAVE, IT MEANS THAT PART OF BELIEVING IN JESUS MEANS FINISHING THE THINGS THAT YOU START. LIKE IF YOU START A RACE AND HALF WAY THROUGH YOU GET REALLY TIRED, YOU CAN T JUST QUIT. YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING. BUT WHAT IF YOU GET REEEEEEEEALLY TIRED? WELL, YOU DON T WANT TO INJURE YOURSELF, BUT YEAH, IF YOU CAN KEEP GOING, YOU SHOULD. BUT WHAT IF YOUR FEET HURT? 11
BUT WHAT IF YOU RE HUNGRY? BUT WHAT IF EVERYONE IS MEAN TO YOU? BUT WHAT IF THE RACE IS ALMOST OVER AND THERE S NO WAY YOU CAN WIN ANYWAY? DOES BELIEVING IN JESUS STILL MEAN FINISHING WHEN YOU KNOW YOU RE GOING TO LOSE? YES, GUYS, THAT S WHAT IT MEANS. YOU KNOW JESUS KNOWS JUST WHAT IT S LIKE WHEN YOUR FEET HURT. HE KNOWS JUST WHAT IT S LIKE TO BE HUNGRY. HE KNOWS WHAT IT S LIKE WHEN EVERYBODY IS MEAN TO YOU AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU RE GOING TO LOSE. HE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT AND MORE, BUT HE NEVER GAVE UP. AND HE DID IT ALL, BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU GUYS. SO BELIEVING IN JESUS MEANS TRYING TO BE JUST LIKE HIM AND NEVER GIVING UP NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS. (long pause) WOW. YEAH, I BET JESUS COULD BEAT ANYBODY AT ARM-WRESTLING. WITH EITHER HAND! YEAH, HE PROBABLY COULD. MAN, I WANNA BE JUST LIKE JESUS! ME TOO! GOOD FOR YOU GUYS! AND TO CELEBRATE, I VE GOT JUST THE SURPRISE FOR YOU! BOTH WHAT S THAT? I M GONNA RACE BOTH OF YOU ALL THE WAY AROUND THE HOUSE! LAST ONE BACK HAS TO CLEAN THE WHOLE YARD! (all three run away, clapping, fireworks, the whole nine yards, etc ) THE END 12