Drafting a Thesis Statement A thesis statement or thesis states the main idea of an essay. For these two courses, it is important to remember that often your thesis statements will need to express an educated opinion about periods of American history and literature based on your mastery of the assigned sources. So, since a thesis expresses an educated opinion it must therefore be arguable and not a fact. Example One: Is this an arguable thesis? Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote many poems that were eventually published. Example Two: Is this an arguable thesis? Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote a poem that seems to be about her husband but is really about Anne Hutchinson.
Drafting a Thesis Statement Example Thesis Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote a poem that seems to be about her husband but is really about Anne Hutchinson. The above sentence does express an educated opinion, but it does not express it in the best way possible. Put yourself in the position of reading this essay. What advice would you give the writer so as to improve this thesis? One way to improve the thesis is to make the following phrases more specific: a poem, her husband, and really about. Which poem will be analyzed? What is the name of her husband? What is a more precise way of expressing really about? In a word, this thesis needs to be much more specific.
Example Thesis Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote a poem that seems to be about her husband but is really about Anne Hutchinson. Improved Thesis Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote the poem To My Dear and Loving Husband about her husband, Simon Bradstreet, though it is really a political statement about Anne Hutchinson. This is a better thesis, but if we take a step back and think about it, we realize that it still contains problems. First, Anne Bradstreet s spending her adult life as a resident of the Massachusetts Bay Colony does not seem absolutely necessary to make this argument. (This information seems better suited for the essay s introduction.) In a quality thesis, every single word should make a vital contribution to stating the writer s position clearly and precisely.
Improved Thesis Anne Bradstreet wrote the poem To My Dear and Loving Husband about her husband, Simon Bradstreet, though it is really a political statement about Anne Hutchinson. There are still opportunities for improvement. Think about the audience for this essay. For your purposes, your intended audience should be people with a general knowledge of American literature and American history who have not yet considered your educated opinion nor analyzed your chosen sources with any degree of depth. A member of this audience would likely know that Anne Bradstreet wrote poems and recognize that To My Dear and Loving Husband is a poem. Therefore we can make this quick edit: Anne Bradstreet wrote To My Dear and Loving Husband about her husband, Simon Bradstreet, though it is really a political statement about Anne Hutchinson.
Improved Thesis Anne Bradstreet wrote To My Dear and Loving Husband about her husband, Simon Bradstreet, though it is really a political statement about Anne Hutchinson. At this point, there are at least four more ways to improve this thesis. First, we need to clarify the type of political statement Bradstreet is making. Second, we need to eliminate the example of casual diction ( really ) and use only appropriate academic word choices. Next, we need to eliminate the redundancies in the sentence if we can. ( Husband and Bradstreet each appear twice.) Finally, and most importantly, we need to tone down it is with a phrase such as can be read as. Why do you suppose this is the case? Revised Thesis Anne Bradstreet wrote To My Dear and Loving Husband about husband Simon, though it can be read as a political statement rejecting the rebellious views of fellow colonist Anne Hutchinson, because Simon was a highranking official in the Massachusetts Bay Colony.
Thesis: Final Revision Because Simon Bradstreet, the subject of wife Anne s To My Dear and Loving Husband, was also a high-ranking official in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, the poem s expressions of love and devotion can be read as praise for the colony s theocratic government, and thus as a rejection of the rebellious views of fellow colonist Anne Hutchinson. Why so much attention to a single sentence? For these courses, your thesis statement will be the single most important element for each and every essay. A precisely written thesis will determine the direction of your essay, and, by and large, the outcome of your grade. Extra time spent honing the language of a thesis statement will put you in the best position to draft a successful essay. What would you expect to see in the body of an essay with the above thesis? What would you expect to see in an introduction to such a statement? A welldeveloped, clearly stated thesis statement will provide a writer with the structure of the remainder of the essay.
In-Class Essay #1: The Contradictions of the Puritans For your first essay of the year, you will need to demonstrate your understanding of the following skills: annotating a text drafting an appropriate title writing an appropriate introduction writing an effective summary crafting a thesis statement (arguable, specific, precise) supporting your thesis with evidence from the text using appropriate transitions. To prepare for this essay, it is expected that you re-read and annotate one of the two passages for tonight s homework and review everything that was covered (both in class and on line) that pertains to the skills listed above. To be successful on this essay, you will need to prepare and review in advance; if you have been successful with writing in previous English classes but elect not to prepare for this essay, do not expect to be rewarded here.