Agape: God s Kind of Love Bob Setzer, Jr. Pastor Knollwood Baptist Church Winston-Salem, North Carolina www.knollwood.org December 18, 2016 Matthew 1:18-25 On Christmas Eve, a harried mom was frantically wrapping presents. Knowing the family would attend Christmas services the next morning, she asked eight-year-old Billy to polish her shoes. Half-an-hour later, he came in, proudly bearing the gleaming pumps. His mother beamed and gave Billy a big hug. Then she reached into her pocket book and pulled out a dollar for him. On Christmas morning, Billy s mom was putting on her shoes for church when she felt a lump in the toe of the right shoe. She took it off and found a crumpled dollar and a note stuffed inside. In a child s scrawl, the note said, Keep the dollar, mama. I done it for love. That s the essence of what the Bible calls agape love: Keep the dollar, mama. I done it for love. Such love is selfless, expecting nothing in return. It is the love of a sleep-deprived parent getting up in the middle of the night to care for a wailing infant. It is the love of a faithful wife caring for her husband as he disappears into the fog of Alzheimer s. It is the love of busy suburbanites making room in their hearts and homes
for refugees. Such is the character of agape love: it is a faithful, committed, unconditional love like God s own. This time of year, we talk a lot about the agape love of God at Christmas: a divine love of cosmic proportions that condensed into the pin prick of light that illumined a virgin s womb, and then grew into a baby, a boy, a man who changed the world. But one of the ironies of the Christmas story is that while God s love starts the drama, at one point, everything turns on what a carpenter will do. The plot stands or falls, not just on the agape love of God, but on whether Joseph can summon such a love in himself. A successful, small businessman, Joseph was betrothed to Mary. Betrothal was more than an engagement: it was a legally binding agreement that could only be dissolved by divorce. Then one day, Joseph got the devastating news Mary was pregnant with another man s child. After seeing her swelling belly for himself, he wrestled with what to do. Joseph was a righteous man, Matthew s gospel tells us, and the law decreed a loose woman like Mary could and probably should be stoned. But Joseph was righteous in a deeper way: his was a righteousness tempered by mercy. So he resolved to divorce Mary as quietly as possible, so the two of them could get on with the shamble of their lives on the far side of the shame. But that night, an angel came calling in Joseph s dreams. The angel asked Joseph to have faith, not just in God, but in Mary. The child growing in Mary s womb was the genesis of God s new creation. As the Holy Spirit brooded over the waters at 2
the dawn of creation, when God called the cosmos into being from the darkness that was before, so in the darkness of a virgin s womb, God was re-creating the world. Therefore, the child was not to bear Joseph s name. No, the child was to be named, Jesus, meaning God saves, and his nickname would be Emmanuel, meaning God with us. So when Joseph awoke from his dream, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded: He took Mary as his wife. But he had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son. And he named him, Jesus. A child was distressed to learn he was cast as Joseph in the Christmas pageant. What s wrong with playing Joseph? asked his mother. I wanted a speaking part, cried the child. Did you realize Joseph never says a word in the Christmas story? Further, the three times he sees an angel as the story unfolds, it s always in a dream; surely, if anybody deserved a real, live angel, it was Joseph! Joseph is not even allowed to name his adopted boy, Joe, Jr. He must name him Jesus, even though that name never appears in Joseph s family tree that meanders over half-a-page in Matthew s gospel. All of which begs the question, What s in it for Joseph? Why did he do what he did? Seemingly, there is only one answer: He done it for love. And so it was from the agape love of Joseph, that Jesus first learned the agape love of God. It was from Joseph that he learned true righteousness consists not in a punishing vengeance, but in a gracious mercy. It was from Joseph that Jesus learned to pay attention when angels came calling in his dreams. It was from Joseph that he 3
learned that real integrity means doing the right thing, even when no one is looking; and moral courage means ignoring the gossips and the tide of popular opinion to follow your conscience. No, Joseph wasn t a shaker and a mover as the world judges greatness. But when God needed an adoptive father to raise a son, God chose a working-class carpenter who would shape God s boy with a costly, committed love. The story is told of some children in an upscale school who invited their fathers to the classroom for career day. Unfortunately, most of the dads were too busy to come. Hoping to salvage the situation, the teacher asked the children to tell what their fathers did for a living. The first child stood up proudly and said, "My daddy s a lawyer. The second stuck out his chest and said, "My father is vice-president at a bank." The third piped up, "My dad is a surgeon. So went the show-and-tell in this wealthy suburban classroom until it came the turn of a little boy whose father was not so accomplished as the rest, but had made the effort to be present. The boy stood up and looked over at his father, a working man dressed in coveralls, not sure what to say. Then he brightened, pointed proudly and said, My daddy is here! Maybe it was Joseph who taught Jesus what it meant to be Emmanuel: God with us, that is, somebody who shows up to do what is needed, when you need them most. To be sure, Mary also played a critical role in birthing and shaping Jesus. She too could have brought the whole Christmas drama crashing down. She too put flesh 4
and bone on God s agape love for Jesus in ways that helped turn him into the Savior of the world. But that s largely Luke s story to tell. Matthew s Christmas story is almost entirely about Joseph. So on this day, for once, let s give Joseph his due. So who are the people in your life who bring God near? Who are the friends who stepped in when everybody else stepped out? Who are the people who pray for you when you don t have words to wrap around your own deepest fears and longings? Who are the people who have stood by you in good times and bad, for the last 10, or 20, or 50 years? Who are the Josephs and Marys God used to help birth and shape you? Those people are our Emmanuels too: the people in whom God s agape love draws near enough to touch and hold, to support and guide us. Martin Marty writes of a British theologian who told a group of worshipers, "Try to recall five sermons you have heard in your lifetime. Few could remember more than one or two. Then the teacher said, "Now name five people God used to change your life. Very quickly, everyone came up with the names. And the word became flesh and dwelt upon us. And sometimes, thank God, the word yet becomes flesh... in us. Over four decades ago, Knollwood began our Christmas Agape Love Feast tradition. It s sort of our twist on the Moravian love feast. After taking communion at the rail, worshipers leave for a festive celebration of food, friends, and family in the fellowship hall. 5
Granted, at one level, it s just a glorified Christmas party. But at a deeper level, it s a kind of communion too. For there, we mingle with the body of Christ in whom God s agape love continues to surprise and shape us in wild and wonderful ways. Yes, the story of Christmas begins with the agape love of God. But it would not have survived long without the agape love of Joseph. And maybe, just maybe, there s a place, a need, or a relationship, where the story of Christmas will not much matter until it takes concrete shape and finds expression... in you. ------------------------------------------ O Son of God and son of Mary, and yes, of Joseph too: Continue to meet, love, sustain, and shape us in our Emmanuels, those who yet put a human face on your more-than-human love. Amen. Bob Setzer, Jr. Pastor bob@knollwood.org Knollwood Baptist Church Winston-Salem, North Carolina 6