Introduction to Ve ahavta Lere acha Kamocha The Mitzvah and its Relevance

Lesson 2 Introduction to Ve ahavta Lere acha Kamocha The Mitzvah and its Relevance Summary: In this lesson, the class will go through the sources learned in the previous lesson in great depth and draw out the practical and relevant teachings of the sources for everyday life through a story, a clip and various activities. Detailed Outline 1. Introduction (5 min): The teacher should briefly remind the students of the main questions that were asked in the previous lesson and explain that this lesson will be devoted to reviewing the sources in class and expanding upon them, to learn from them practical relevant lessons. 2. Review of Sources (40 min): The teacher should review the sources, calling upon students to offer their answers to the questions in the Student Workbook and discussing each one briefly as described below in detail. While reviewing sources, the teacher should take advantage of introducing a brief historical biography of the author being studied. These thumbnail biographies have been included in the footnotes of both the Teacher Guide and the Student Workbook. Introduction: The verse "ve ahavta lere acha kamocha" teaches us that we are to love our fellow as ourselves. This lesson will examine what this actually requires of us practically. When we learn a verse from the Torah we must analyze it closely in order to know what it is teaching us. Each and every word was specifically chosen by God and is necessary to teach us something. We begin by a close examination of the Torah source for the mitzvah. Source 1: Leviticus 19:18 Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge against the members of your nation, and you shall love your fellow as yourself; I am God. לא-ת ק ם ו לא-ת ט ר א ת- ב נ י ע מ ך ו אה ב ת ל ר ע ך כ מ ו ך א נ י ה' Q1 Circle the 3 principle words of this verse in the English translation of the source. Copy these 3 English words or phrases below and on the lines that follow write what is unclear and/or needs further elaboration. On a simple level, there are 3 major concepts in this mitzvah and each one requires clarity. This is detailed as follows: Loving Your Fellow 9

1. "And you shall love...": What does it mean to "love" in the context of this mitzvah? Is the Torah teaching us to simply have a feeling of love for others without any requirement of expressing that love through action? How am I expected to love someone that I might not even know? 2. "your fellow...": Who is "re acha" referring to? Does this come to limit this mitzvah to a specific group of people who are considered your "fellows" and exclude those who are not? Why did the verse not just say: Love everybody as you love yourself? Are there perhaps certain groups of people that we are commanded to love more than others? If so, why? 3. "as yourself...": What does the Torah mean by "kamocha"? Is it to be taken literally just as I love myself I must love others? What if my needs and the other person s needs are in conflict who comes first? Note: By taking students through this process of analyzing, we are teaching them fundamental steps in how to learn a Jewish text. The basic assumption of Rabbinic Torah interpretation is that every word or phrase in a verse carries a specific and necessary meaning requiring elucidation. Based on this assumption, we must approach a Torah source as though it is a code containing more than meets the eye and our job is to uncover the meaning of the text. In Rabbinic terms, the text requiring interpretation is called the Torah SheBichtav the Written Torah while the full interpretation of that text comes in the form of the Torah She Bal Peh the Oral Torah. The Oral Torah explains and elaborates the mitzvot in the Torah and expounded upon by the Talmudic Sages. The remaining sources in this lesson delve into the concept of "love" in the context of this verse. The concept of "as yourself" will only be touched upon here but will be addressed in great detail in lessons 4, 5 and 6. The concept of who is included in "your fellow" is addressed in lesson 3. Source 2: Targum Onkelos 1, Leviticus 19:18.... And you shall have compassion for your friend as for yourself, I am God... ו ת ר ח ם ל ח ב ר ך כ ו ת ך א נ א י י Q2 How does Onkelos translate the word "love"? _ Before we look at Onkelos, the teacher can ask the class what they think the verse means by "love your fellow". Some examples of what students may come up with are: Love for someone is: A feeling of connection with them. A feeling of closeness to them. A feeling that you want to be around that person. 1 Onkelos was a Roman who converted in the time of the Emperor Nero (some 2000 years ago). He became a great Sage of Israel and wrote a famous translation and commentary on the Torah in the Aramaic language called Targum Onkelos, which to this day can be seen printed alongside the majority of printed versions of the Torah. This commentary is regarded as highly authoritative. 10

The above examples are descriptions of a feeling. There is a difficulty with these definitions: how are we to love other people with such deep connection and unbounded love? Is this really possible? What if we do not know them? This source is from the translation of Onkelos. One can gain an insight into what the concept of love is in this verse by looking at how Onkelos translates the word. He says "you shall have compassion for your friend..." Onkelos explains that the mitzvah of loving your fellow is expressed through compassion. Q3 What is the basic foundation of this mitzvah according to Onkelos? The teacher can ask the students: What does it mean to have compassion for someone else? What are some examples of being compassionate? The teacher can use the following example: Talya is a teenage girl who has made aliyah with her family to Israel. Unable to understand Hebrew, she is worried that it will be difficult to make friends in her new school. A kind girl in Talya s class named Shira notices that she is new and on her first day makes sure to welcome Talya into her group of friends. Talya is so happy and relieved as her fears of being unable to socialize are laid to rest by the compassionate Shira. This is an example of being compassionate. Compassion involves looking out for other people, being sensitive to their needs, and making an effort to make things easier for others. In this example, does Shira "love" Talya according to our descriptions above? The answer would be no. But she does care for her and show compassion. We see from this that according to Onkelos the mitzvah is not just about having a feeling for someone, but about being sensitive to their needs. This is possible, of course, whether you know the person or not. Q4 Contained in the Aramaic translation for the word "love" is the notion "to have compassion." How does translating the phrase of "and you shall love" to "and you shall show compassion" change the way one understands the verse?" Based on what we have learned above it becomes clear that Onkelos, like most of the commentators, does not see the requirement of "love" as simply a heartfelt emotion, but rather as a sense of compassion and sensitivity to others needs which is then expressed in action. The novel idea is that the love you should feel is not one that should remain in the heart, but one that should lead to action. 11

Source 3: Sefer HaChinuch 2, Mitzvah 243 (This mitzvah commands us) to love each and every Jew with an unbounded love. That means: One should have compassion on each Jew and on his possessions just like one has compassion on himself and his possessions for it says "And you shall love your fellow as you love yourself" (Leviticus 19:18)... The specific laws of this mitzvah are included in the general principle of the mitzvah, that a person should deal with his fellow just like he would deal with himself; to guard his possessions and protect them from any damage; and if speaking about him, he should speak of his praises; and take compassion for his honor; and not elevate his own honor on account of his fellow's humiliation... ל א ה ב כ ל א ח ד מ י ש ר א ל אה ב ת נ פ ש, כ ל ומ ר ש נ ח מ ל ע ל י ש ר א ל ו ע ל מ מ ונ ו כ מ ו ש אד ם ח ומ ל ע ל ע צ מ ו ומ מ ונ ו, ש נ א מ ר ]ו י ק ר א י"ט, י"ח[ ו אה ב ת ל ר ע ך כ מ ו ך... ו ד ינ י מ צ ו ה ז ו כ ל ול ים ה ם ב ת ו ך ה מ צ ו ה, ש כ ל ל ה כ ל ה וא ש י ת נ ה ג ה אד ם ע ם ח ב ר ו כ מ ו ש י ת נ ה ג ע ם ע צ מ ו, ל ש מ ר מ מ ונ ו ול ה ר ח יק מ מ נ ו כ ל נ ז ק, ו א ם י ס פ ר ע ל יו ד ב ר ים י ס פ ר ם ל ש ב ח ו י ח וס ע ל כ ב וד ו ו לא י ת כ ב ד ב ק ל ונ ו, וכ מ ו ש אמ ר ו ז כ ר ונ ם ל ב ר כ ה ]י ר ו ש ל מ י ח ג יג ה פ"ב ה"א[ ה מ ת כ ב ד ב ק ל ון ח ב ר ו א ין ל ו ח ל ק ל ע ול ם ה ב א. ו ה מ ת נ ה ג ע ם ח ב ר ו ד ר ך אה ב ה ו ש ל ום ו ר ע ות ומ ב ק ש ת וע ל ת ם ו ש מ ח ב ט וב ם, ע ל יו ה כ ת וב א ומ ר ]י ש ע י ה ו מ"ט, ג'[ י ש ר א ל א ש ר ב ך א ת פ אר: Q5 and Q6: According to Sefer HaChinuch, what is the general principle of this mitzvah? What examples does he give? (Students should have highlighted these examples on the source.) The Sefer HaChinuch explains that "love" in this verse means that a person should deal with his fellow just like he would deal with himself. This implies that you should do for another person things that you would want another to do for you. The examples given by Sefer HaChinuch are to guard his possessions and protect them from any damage; if speaking about him, to speak of his merits; to preserve his honor; not to elevate your honor at his expense etc. These are just some of the many examples of how this mitzvah can be fulfilled. All these examples involve putting yourself in your fellow s shoes, thinking what you would want, and then try your best to do that. From this source it becomes clear how far reaching this mitzvah is. Any action that you do for another person which expresses your sensitivity to their needs is going to be included in this mitzvah. It is worthwhile for the teacher to point out that while opportunities to fulfill other mitzvot only arise once a year, or once a day, this is a mitzvah that is easy to fulfill tens of times a day (if not more). Each and every interaction with another person is an opportunity to show compassion and kindness and thus fulfill this mitzvah. 2 The author of the Sefer HaChinuch is unknown. This book, written in the 13 th century Spain, delineates the 613 mitzvot of the Torah and explains the basic definitions of each mitzvah and the reasons behind them. This book is highly authoritative in Jewish tradition. 12

Source 4: Talmud, Shabbat 31a There is a story that happened with a certain non-jew who came before Shamai and said to him: "Convert me to become a Jew on condition that you teach me the entire Torah while I stand on one foot". He pushed him away with the measuring stick which he had in his hand. (The same non-jew) came before Hillel and he converted him and said to him: "What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend this is the entire Torah, the rest is explanation Go and study." מ ע ש ה ב נ כ ר י א ח ד ש ב א ל פ נ י ש מ אי אמ ר ל ו ג י ר נ י ע ל מ נ ת ש ת ל מ ד נ י כ ל ה ת ור ה כ ל ה כ ש א נ י ע ומ ד ע ל ר ג ל אח ת ד ח פ ו ב א מ ת ה ב נ י ן ש ב י ד ו ב א ל פ נ י ה ל ל ג י ר י ה אמ ר ל ו ד ע ל ך ס נ י ל ח ב ר ך ל א ת ע ב יד ז ו ה יא כ ל ה ת ור ה כ ל ה ו א יד ך פ ר ו ש א ה וא ז יל ג מ ר Q8 Hillel 3 was teaching the non-jew the mitzvah of "Love your fellow as yourself". How does Hillel phrase this mitzvah when teaching it to the non-jew? This source tells the famous story of the non-jew who wants to convert by learning the entire Torah while standing on one foot. He first goes to the great sage Shamai who chases him away. He then goes to the sage Hillel who tells him, " What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend. This," Hillel says, "is the entire Torah; the rest is explanation, go and study." It is clear both from this source itself and from the commentaries on this Gemara that Hillel was referring to the mitzvah of ve ahavta lere acha kamocha, which he simply paraphrased as, "what is hateful to you, do not do to your friend." Q9 Why do you think Hillel formulated the mitzvah of loving one s fellow in the negative "do not do..." instead of "Love your fellow as yourself?" Firstly, the teacher can ask if there is any practical difference between these two formulations. The answer is that Hillel s formulation focuses only on refraining from doing things that would harm your friend but it does not have any reference to actually actively doing good for your friend. Seemingly, this is a very limited view of the mitzvah. Why would Hillel have said it like this? An answer: The mitzvah as it is taught in the Torah is commanding us to treat others the way we would want to be treated, but the principle obligation of the mitzvah is to refrain from doing anything that we would not want done to us 4. Due to the fact that this is the principle practical obligation of the mitzvah, Hillel chose to teach the non-jew in this negative formulation. This is in contrast with the Sefer HaChinuch interptetation (source 3), which explained the mitzvah in its broader sense. 3 The great Sage Hillel was the c0-leader of the Jewish people in the 1 st Century of the Common Era in Israel. He was well known for his gentle nature and patience. 4 Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Deot 6:3. See "To Live Among Friends" by Rabbi Dovid Castle who goes into great detail defining the mitzvah and brings all the opinions of the commentators and halachic decisors. See also Sefer "Lere acha Kamocha" by Rabbi David Ariav (Hebrew), where he goes into great detail defining the parameters of the mitzvah. This approach is the opinion of the majority. 13

Note: Depending on the level of the class, the teacher can choose to explain this in greater depth. The following is an optional in-depth explanation of why the negative form is the primary obligation of the mitzvah: There are 3 practical (action-based) elements to the mitzvah: There is: i. The mitzvah to refrain from doing anything to another person that you would not want others to do to you (Hillel s formulation). This is an absolute practical obligation. Therefore, if you do something negative to your fellow you have violated this mitzvah. ii. The mitzvah of doing acts of kindness that cause you emotional or physical loss. This is called a mitzvah kiyumit (a non-obligated mitzvah).that means that you are not obligated to perform such an act, but if you do, you have fulfilled the mitzvah. This is because halachically, your own interests come first. iii. The mitzvah of doing acts of kindness that cause you no harm at all. Refraining from such acts of kindness is considered to be the expression of character of the people of Sdom, who would not help others even if it caused them no emotional or physical loss at all. Hillel chose to focus on the first element in order to teach that the absolute practical obligation of the mitzvah of "ve ahavta lere acha kamocha" is in refraining from causing others any emotional or physical harm, which is different in nature from the other element of doing acts of kindness. How so? The obligation to do acts of kindness is limited by the conflict of interests involved. When the act of kindness will involve a significant difficulty, loss, danger etc., then I am not obliged to forego my own needs for the other person. Should I choose to do so, I will certainly be fulfilling the mitzvah of ve ahavta lere acha kamocha. This is the concept of chesed and it involves going beyond what is required. As such, the Torah does not require us to do chesed through an absolute obligation because the very essence of chesed is that it comes from you, choosing to extend beyond yourself. The third category, doing acts of kindness which present no inconvenience or loss at all is in fact obligatory. Refraining from it is considered Midat Sdom exhibiting the character traits of the people of Sdom. Nevertheless, Hillel chose to focus on the negative form of the mitzvah, teaching that this is the principle obligating aspect of the mitzvah. Therefore, because the most basic requirement of this mitzvah is to refrain from causing others any emotional or physical harm, Hillel chose to teach the mitzvah to the non-jew using this formulation. This does not mean that the mitzvah of chesed is less significant. On the contrary, it is the essence of what it means to be a Jew, but by its very nature it must involve going beyond that which a person is obligated to do. 14

Source 5: Sefer Yereim 5, Mitzvah 224 "And you shall love your fellow as you love yourself"... The word "love" here means you must not do or say to someone else anything that would hurt or bother him. And if you will ask "How do I know what would hurt him? Am I a prophet?" This is why the verse says "yourself," meaning, learn from yourself, that which you know would hurt or bother you. This is what Hillel meant when he said, "Whatever is hateful to you, do not do unto your friend" this is the whole Torah and the rest is commentary. ו אה ב ת ל ר ע ך כ מ ו ך... פ ר ו ש ו אה ב ת ו כ ו' ש לא ל ע ש ות ל ו ו לא ל אמ ר ד ב ר ה מ ס ור ל ל ב ו. ו א ם ת אמ ר ה א י ך א ד ע ו כ י נ ב יא א נ י ל כ ך נ א מ ר כ מ ו ך פ ר ו ש מ מ ך ת ל מ ד ד ב ר ש א ת ה י וד ע ש מ ס ור ל ל ב ך. ו ה י נ ו ד אמ ר ינ ן ב ש ב ת פ ר ק ב' ]ל"א א'[ ד ע ל ך ס נ י ל ח ב ר ך ל א ת ע ב יד ד ה י נ ו כ ל ה ת ור ה כ ל ה ו א יד ך פ ר ו ש א. Q10 According to the Sefer Yereim, what was the lesson that Hillel was trying to teach? What, then, do the words "as yourself" teach us? The Yereim explains that Hillel gives us advice as to how to fulfill the mitzvah of ve ahavta lere acha kamocha. He asks: You must not cause any physical or emotional harm to another person, but how are you supposed to know what might cause them such harm? The answer he gives is that you must use yourself as your guide. Think to yourself what would cause you harm. This explains why the verse says "like yourself" meaning: take your knowledge of what you don t like, and use it to guide how you treat other people (there are exceptions to this) 6. This is a practical method for how to improve the way we treat other people. We thus see that according to the Yereim, the Torah not only obligates us to treat others in a particular way but also directs us how to do so all in the words of the mitzvah itself. Q11 Make a list of specific actions that would fit the above definitions of ve ahavta lere acha kamocha as we have learned (both from Sefer HaChinuch and the story of Hillel): The teacher should ask the students to read some of the examples that they wrote of how to fulfill this mitzvah. 5 This book explains the mitzvot in the Torah and defines their halachic parameters. It was written by the medieval Sage Rabbi Eliezer ben Samuel, a Tosafist from Metz, France who lived during the 12 th century. 6 What if you personally do not mind being treated badly? Does this mean you are allowed to treat others in a similar fashion? Certainly not. Ben Azzai in the Talmud Yerushalmi, Nedarim 30b (this source will be studied in further lessons) teaches that there is an even greater principle in the Torah than loving your fellow; that each person was created in the image of God. The commentaries explain that this comes to teach that no matter what you personally are able to withstand, you must treat the other person as they want to be treated on their terms. This is because everyone is created in the image of God and therefore no matter what your own personal threshold is for bad treatment you must respect others for the mere fact that they were created in the image of God. Therefore, while your own standards will most often work as the yardstick for measuring what others would like, this is not always the case. One could thus phrase the meaning of the mitzvah as: treat others the way that you would want to be treated if you were them. 15

3. Concluding Story: "Small Acts of Kindness" (15 min): The teacher can conclude the learning of these sources by sharing the following important story 7 (this story also appears in the Student Workbook): There was a young boy, named Sam 8, who was packing his bags at his locker one day to leave school early. While holding a large pile of books, he fumbled and dropped all the books and papers on the floor. A boy from another class saw this and quickly approached Sam with a smile, helping him pick up his books. The boy who had helped, warmly and kindly asked Sam what his name was and if he would like to come over that afternoon to play. A strong friendship was formed. Up until that day he had been very lonely at school. No one in his class had ever given him any attention. But that day everything changed and Sam became a different person. For the first time he felt like someone cared. Many years later when Sam was much older, he was talking with his friend who had helped him all those years back, and told him how that small act of kindness of inviting him over had saved his life. "What do you mean?" his friend asked. Sam explained that when he was packing up those books that day it was not because he was just going home early. In fact, he was planning on returning home and giving up on school altogether, and in truth he had given up on himself as well. He had simply had enough. Every day he went to class and was ignored by everyone. Sometimes he felt like he was invisible. That day, feeling particularly sad, he decided he was going to leave the school for good. He went to his locker and packed up his belongings and thought to himself that no one would even notice if he were gone. "And right there and then you showed up, with a smile and a helping hand," Sam said. "Who knows what would have happened, had you not helped me that day?" said Sam. "You truly saved my life." Such is the power of showing concern and care, and the simple warmth of a smile. We should never underestimate the power of a small act of kindness. The teacher can explain to students that the impact of our actions in this world is far beyond what we might see with our own eyes. One small act of kindness, like a smile, can bring another person much more than we might imagine. There are many stories like this about people whose lives were literally saved as a result of a simple act of kindness. Furthermore, the spiritual impact of even the smallest action is infinitely great 9. Therefore, one should be inspired to try to perform these small acts of kindness whenever possible. The teacher may choose to elicit from students their own stories and experiences where they extended care and chesed to someone for whom it was significant or, conversely, examples where students were the recipients of chesed from other people. 7 This is based on a true story adapted from Chicken Soup for the Soul. 8 Names are fictitious. 9 See Nefesh HaChayim Shaar 1 where Rabbi Chayim of Volozhin explains from Kabbalistic sources how our actions affect all the spiritual worlds in a way that we cannot begin to imagine. What we think may only be a physical act of charity, or visiting the sick or the like can in fact cause a wave of goodness to permeate throughout the spiritual and physical realms. 16

4. Clip: Show Students the clip of Rabbi Grossman of Migdal Ohr (10 min). Rabbi Grossman, an Israeli rabbi, started a school for children from broken homes called Migdal Ohr. The school started out very small but has grown to have some 6000 students. Rabbi Grossman treats each student as his own child and through the school performs the great chesed of providing a home, love, clothing, gifts, education, inspiration and much more to these children. His school has saved thousands of lives. This is an example of ve ahavta lere acha kamocha and how far genuine care and concern for others needs can go. Rabbi Grossman was awarded the Israel Prize, the most prestigious prize in Israel, for his incredible work. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzedh5we8ic The video is in Hebrew but has English subtitles and is very easy to follow. 5. Conclusion: Making it Real: Homework or Assessment Activity: We have now seen how this mitzvah can involve both large-scale acts of kindness that affect thousands (e.g. Rabbi Grossman and Migdal Ohr) and also the day-to-day acts of kindness that are no less heroic and can have far-reaching effects. In this activity the teacher can show the students how to fulfill this mitzvah on a daily basis in their own lives. You will find below a long list of examples of this mitzvah. The many examples are provided here in order to bring to life everything that has been learned and demonstrate how relevant this mitzvah is in daily situations 10. The teacher can use these examples as the basis for a number of potential activities: Options for Activities: The teacher can choose one of the following for the entire class to do for a homework assignment, or incorporate all three by giving students the opportunity to choose which task they will do. This activity can be marked as an assessment. Short skit: Break up the class into groups. Hand out 5-10 examples from the list below to each group. Each group has to create a short skit to perform in front of the class that will incorporate some of the examples students have been given. Note: This option will require time for preparation and time for performance. Short creative writing task: Hand out the entire list of examples (or a selection) to the entire class. Students are to write a short creative story incorporating as many of the examples as possible. This can be assigned as an in-class assignment or as an at-home assignment. Poster: The teacher can hand out the list of examples and give the class a task to create a poster to teach about the mitzvah of ve ahavta lere acha kamocha using the examples for inspiration for their graphics. The poster should include: The verse in Hebrew and English. Hillel s formulation in Hebrew and English. 10 Most of these examples are taken from the book "Lere acha Kamocha": Hilchot Ve ahavta Lere acha Kamocha by Rabbi David Ariav, and from the book To Live Among Friends by Rabbi Dovid Castle. 17

Various visuals that creatively teach about how to fulfill this mitzvah. A clever phrase or slogan to market the fulfillment of this mitzvah in the school. Use of some of the examples handed out. The poster should be in color. This task can be completed in class if time allows, in a computer lab, or at home for homework. Everyday Examples of Ve ahavta Lere acha Kamocha: The Mitzvah in its Positive and Negative Forms: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Giving good advice to help someone. Lending a pencil or any item to someone who needs it. Visiting the sick. Sticking up for someone who is being hurt verbally or physically. Praying for someone else s needs (financial, health, etc.). Smiling at someone when you greet them. If you see someone s tap dripping and you tighten the faucet to stop the waste of water. If a friend is sick and you take notes for them in class and make sure to get it to them to help them catch up. 9. Visiting someone who is in mourning ("paying a shiva call"). 10. 11. Being on time and not making others wait. If a friend asks you to let the teacher know that they are on your way to class and just had to run to the bathroom, and will be a little late. Saying "no" to your friend s request is a bitul (lack of fulfillment) of the mitzvah. Saying yes and telling the teacher is a kiyum (fulfillment) of the mitzvah. 12. Someone says "hello" and you ignore their greeting. This is a bitul of the mitzvah. Returning the greeting, or initiating contact and saying "hello" in the first place is a kiyum of the mitzvah. 13. 14. Old clothes that other people can still use shouldn t be thrown away. It is only a small bother to find a clothes bank. Advising someone to stand in a line that is going much faster at a supermarket. 15. If a student answers something in class incorrectly and other students begin to mock him and you step in and stop them. This applies even if you are protecting the person from harm or embarrassment they have caused themselves and all the more so when others have caused it. 16. Teaching others and giving them the opportunity to learn Torah and do mitzvot. 17. Stopping a car to unnecessarily speak to a friend and thus make cars behind you wait is a bitul of this mitzvah. 18. Putting on your music so loud that it bothers your neighbor is forbidden. This is because it is forbidden to do an act that is hateful to your friend even if you don t mind it. 19. If you drop a glass in a pathway, you must clean up the pieces of glass even if the break was not your fault and even if it greatly inconveniences you (this situation touches upon a number of mitzvot). It is forbidden to create a possibility of damage to your friend, and you are obligated to remove an obstacle such as this. 18

20. If you borrow someone s ipod (or any possession), be sure to look after it as you know they would like you to. 21. Throwing trash in the streets or on the floor during an excursion instead of in the trash. 22. Making noise at a reasonable time during the day, while doing renovations on your apartment (or other reasonable loud activities) is allowed. Things that are understandable and accepted by others are not forbidden to do even though they may seem to fit into the category of "hateful unto others". You should only make the noise when necessary and at hours that least affect your neighbors and, if possible, let them know before. 23. Any hurtful speech (like lashon hara or mocking) or action is forbidden because of this mitzvah and is included in "what is hateful". 24. 25. Writing on someone else s furniture (like school furniture) is a serious violation of this mitzvah. Careless wasting of others electricity, water, etc. 26. You should not finish up your shopping while standing in the store checkout line, thus annoying those waiting behind you and causing them to wait extra. 27. 28. It is forbidden to cut into a line. You are also not allowed to let other people cut in front of you (even if they are your friends) as you do not represent all the people in the line. Do not stand in the walkway talking to someone and thus block the passage for others. 29. Being involved in another mitzvah does not mean you are allowed to disregard this mitzvah. For example: Do not push others out the way in order to kiss the Torah or a mezuzah. Do not pray so loudly that it disturbs other people s concentration. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. Do not promise to do someone a favor when you have no intention of doing it. Do not recline your chair on an airplane when the passenger behind you is eating their meal. Do not leave a public toilet (or any place) messy. If possible, leave it the way you would want to find it. Do not joke about someone, whether to their face or behind their back. Helping make peace between two people who are fighting is a fulfillment of the mitzvah. When socializing in a group environment, when possible, you should choose discussion topics that will not leave anyone out. 36. Do not speak about a topic that would cause another person any sort of embarrassment or discomfort. For example: Do not speak about divorce in front of someone who is going through or has been through a divorce if it may make them feel uncomfortable or hurt. Do not speak about jail in front of someone who has a parent in jail. Do not speak about how much fun it was to play soccer in front of someone who has a broken leg or is disabled. 19