What Kind Of Love is The Spirit Of This Church?

1 What Kind Of Love is The Spirit Of This Church? Rev. Dr. Jim Culver Sermon at UUSP on February 13, 2011 To the reader: This sermon was only part of a service of worship with many components working together, all of which were designed to be experienced in a community context. In our "free pulpit" tradition, its concepts are intended not as truths to receive, but as spurs to your own thought and faith. Call To Worship (In loving memory of my former colleague & mentor, Rev. Dr. Duncan Littlefair) This is a day for us to live. Let s celebrate it and make a difference in the world. Let s be grateful for the incredible gift of life, And let us be especially grateful for the love which brings us together Giving dignity, meaning, worth and joy to all of our days. Responsive Reading ONE: We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted ALL: We need one another when we are in trouble and afraid. ONE: We need one another when we are in despair, in temptation, And need to be recalled to our best selves again ALL: We need one another when we would accomplish some great Purpose, and cannot do it alone. ONE: We need one another in the hour of success, when we look for Someone to share our triumphs. ALL: We need one another in the hour of defeat, when with encouragement we might endure, and stand again. ONE: We need one another when we come to die. \ALL: All our lives we are in need, and others are in need of us. -George E. Odell

2 Readings Our readings this morning support a service which has, over the past month, transitioned from a service initially around Valentine s Day, then the national initiative Standing On The Side Of Love, then our annual pledge drive, and most recently, the deaths of two of our beloved members and friends this week, Lois Cairl s brother George Brown and Amali Zawadi, and the knowledge that a third friend, Pat McGiverin, has entered 24 hour Hospice care. Attempting to pay homage to all of these diverse themes within one service might be challenging, and yet that is exactly what we will do this morning. Why? Because exploring the depth of love, the justice of inclusion and equality, the necessity of financial resources in order to make a difference in the world, and the myriad emotions surrounding ill health, death and loss all address different aspects of the same question posed by today s sermon title what kind of love is the spirit of this church? For our readings, in honor of Amali Zawadi s sense of humor, we will have as usual three readings this morning, the first two of which are printed in the programs. Understanding and love are the same thing. The more you understand, the more you will love; love is a product of understanding - Democritus, a pre-socratic philosopher in Greece Then the rich man said, Speak to us of Giving. And he answered; there are those who give little of the much which they have, and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome. And there are those who have little and give it all. These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty. It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through

3 understanding; and to the open handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving. All you have shall some day be given; therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors. See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving. - Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet Our final reading was handed to me in July of 2009 by the then chair of our Membership Ministry, Amali Zawadi. She wanted this joke read on Stewardship Sunday because she thought it portrayed the antithesis of how our pledge drive canvassers interact with the members of UUSP. There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation begins: "Hello?" "Honey, It's me." "Hi." "Are you at the club?" "Yes." "Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $4,000." "Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much." "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2009 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

4 "What price did he quote you?" "Only $80,000!" "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! Before we hang up, something else...it might seem like a lot, but I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..." "How much are they asking?" "Only $1.8 million... a magnificent price. "Well, then go ahead, but just bid $1.7, okay?" "Okay.. Thanks! I'll see you later! "Bye." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks all those present in the locker room, "Does anyone know to whom this phone belongs?" SERMON: What Kind Of Love Is The Spirit Of This Church? What kind of love is the spirit of this church? Is our love inspirational enough to stand for the causes of inclusion and equality? Is our love grounded enough to understand the need for financial resources in order to make a difference in the world? Is our love deep enough to embrace the myriad emotions surrounding ill health, death and loss? Is our love wide enough to allow for laughter when we feel like crying? This morning, let s briefly explore these questions together, which requires an examination of why this community exists, how it continues to function, and what we do when we come together.

5 For Our Guests For our guests here today, please allow me a moment to provide a framework on which to listen to this sermon on four differing topics, two of which usually send guests running for the back door: death and money. For newcomers, this may be an opportunity to gain a deeper insight into what Unitarian Universalism offers in terms of addressing the important questions of life. For those attending our introductory class UU 101 immediately after this service, this may be a segue into the realization that our unique religion stresses the process, not the destination. The deeds, not the heavenly afterlife. We love and support each other on our own unique life journeys. Our religious pluralism is both our greatest strength and our greatest source of confusion when addressing issues such as money and the end of life. You see, we are a community of shared values, rather than shared beliefs. Yet, although we may not all believe in life after death, we all believe in love after death. Coming together in this loving community is healing as we remember and celebrate a life, as we look for support in times of ill health, and as we share the love that binds us together. So, with that framework, let s do the work of today and ask the question what kind of love is the spirit of this church? Is Our Love Deep Enough? Is our love deep enough to embrace the myriad emotions surrounding ill health, death and loss? During the first thirteen days of February, this amazingly strong community has endured 8 candles lit for those battling cancer, 3 for strokes, 2 for diverticulitis, 12 for various other serious health issues, and 2 for those who have died this week. This is once again a time of deep sadness for all of us. We come to this special place not because we are whole, but because we are broken. We come to this

6 place not because of our strength, but because of our weakness. We can become whole and strong in part by our coming together in community. This is our church home, our religious community, our place to ask the big questions of life. Knowing that we all must die, we question what life means. The questions that the ill health or deaths of our loved ones force us to ask are important questions: Who am I? What am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? What is my place in the world? What do I have to give? How do I know if my life has meaning? We come together here in the safety of this special place to ask these questions. Through the work of asking those profound questions, we can make connections between the lives of our departed loved ones to our own continuing journeys, connections that might inspire us to go forward in our lives with deeper meaning. A good first step in this process of deeper understanding is to recognize that death is not life s goal, only life s end. Our goal is to live in such a way that we feel our lives were worth dying for. This is where love comes into the picture. This is the Universalist side of our Unitarian Universalist understanding of religion. The one thing that can t be taken from us, even by death, is the love we give away before we die. By openly sharing the deep emotions revolving around those for whom we lit our unity candle this morning, we add depth to our experience of life. This is what coming together in this place is all about. This is what a worship service with Amali singing a solo is all about. This is what a cluster service with Pat playing the flute is all about. This is what our religious community is for. This is why we gather at a church home. We exist to share our lives with others. To make connections between. No one is alone. The spirit

7 of life and love, which many call God and many other names, lives not only beyond us, but also within us and most poignantly for today, between us and among us. Please listen again to the opening words of our Call To Worship. This is a day to live. Let s celebrate it and make a difference in the world. Let s be grateful for the incredible gift of life. Much of the time, though, we drift through our days. Life lives us. Yet during times like this beginning of February, the ill health or death of someone we love serves as a wakeup call. When filled with worry or pain, we are awakened to the forgotten knowledge that we must not take life for granted, and that we must seize the day. So what might we do to seize this day and continue a process of healing? First, let s recognize that we all heal in different ways. There is no right or wrong method of healing, no one size fits all manner in which to react to a loved ones ill health or death. In the process of healing what we do or what we say may be less important than who we are. Our silent presence may speak volumes and be far more powerful than words. Please find support in remembering once again that one of the roles of our church is as a healing community. Some of us heal through the power of music. Some of us heal from talking. Some of us heal in times of silence. Some of us heal through the power of holding and being held. Some of us heal by taking action. Some of us heal by being still. It s all ok. Here at our church home, we have room for many kinds of healing. This, too is what we do here at UUSP. One of the most difficult aspects of any healing process is to honestly accept the fact that death is more certain than life. Death will come upon you at some point. You neither know when nor how. Life on the other hand is a choice in each moment. If you

8 accept the invitation to live fully, your life will be worth dying for and it will survive you. The love and goodness you leave behind will be the children and grandchildren of your life s work. The Hopi people have a rite of passage for their children. Between the ages of 6-10 the children experience a ritual during the corn harvest wherein masked holy men parade into the tribe s circle, bless the corn and bring gifts to the children. These Holy Men end their parade by standing in front of the children and removing their masks. These men, whom the children had always thought were gods with masks, are revealed in fact to be their fathers and uncles and neighbors. It s a coming of age ritual, where extraordinary magic gives way to ordinary miracle. The Hopi people do believe in spirits and a supernatural being, and so this ritual is not doing away with their deeply held spiritual beliefs. Rather, this is a ceremony where the kids realize that the sacred exists in the people around them. It s a way of showing the kids that in life, even the most ordinary people are full of what many would call divine wonder. We recognized that divine wonder in George and Amali, and we acknowledge it still in Pat. Their love and goodness, their life s work, will continue long after this painful month of February. Is Our Love Inspirational Enough? Is our love inspirational enough to stand for the causes of inclusion and equality? A certain amount of sorrow is authentic and healthy, as long as it doesn t continuously blind you to the wonder that surrounds you, nor disable you to fully celebrate the joy within you. Wonder invites a natural expression of love, rather than a contrived altruism. Learn to see the world through eyes of wonder, with a heart full of love, and that will make all the difference. Wonder is like that. Once you have been touched by wonder, you

9 begin to see everything around you with new eyes. You feel more connected. You more deeply understand this web which connects all of us. You feel like you are participating in something huge and grand, and so much larger than any individual ego. The boundaries between you and others begin to dissolve. Our earlier reading by Democritus rings true in that the more you understand, the more you will love. The more you love, the more you understand that we are all one, made of the same stuff, dependent on each other. This understanding blurs the lines between self and other. An openness to the wonder of our interconnected web allows this relationship of wonder and love. You recognize the inherent dignity and worth of the other person. This sense of unity that comes from a deeper relationship is wonder and joy and love beyond words. Tomorrow marks the 2 nd Annual National Standing on the Side of Love Day. For decades, Unitarian Universalist congregations have shared stories of wonder and love as demonstrated by extraordinary individuals and groups who exemplify the values of inclusion, diversity, community, and equality. This year, in response to bullying and name-calling, partisan divides, labels, stereotypes, and political decisions motivated by fear, we here at UUSP celebrate those who lead by example and support the most vulnerable and marginalized among us every day. We support our ministries who confront oppression in Florida, whether it is marriage equality, immigration reform, homelessness, or any other form of discrimination and oppression. So many of our dedicated members promote respect for the inherent worth and dignity of every human being. They understand that those in our communities who are most oppressed are in greatest need of our love, voice, and action. I want those in our social justice ministries to know that we recognize and reinforce their voice as they work to overcome

10 discrimination and oppression. I want these loving, compassionate members to know that the rest of us support and understand their life s work to harness the transformative power of love to stop oppression. This, too is what we do here at UUSP. We stand on the side of love. At this time, I ask of those who have had any involvement in any of our social justice causes to please rise and receive our thanks for your courageous love and its positive impact on so many lives. Is Our Love Grounded Enough? Is our love grounded enough to understand the need for financial resources in order to make a difference in the world? The social justice causes we just acknowledged would cease without our time, our talents, and our financial support. As our choir sang earlier, the lights would not come on without electricity, nor the plumbing in the bathrooms flow without maintenance. Paying bills is not spiritually a wake up call to live. Paying minister s salaries doesn t feel like making a difference in the world. Cashflow isn t sexy, yet it allows us to do what we do. I have a vision of this place because this is my church home. I felt love here from the moment I first walked in. However to live out our vision we must continuously remind ourselves of that which we already do so well, remind ourselves of the love that is here. Love is more than a feeling, it s also a behavior. That behavior is the spirit of this church. Here in this special place in St. Petersburg, we do not ask of ourselves to render unto Caesar what is Caesars and to render unto God what is God s. We do not require 10% of your income as club dues nor do we legislate a pew tax. Instead, we divide our budget figure by the number of members, and discover what it costs per person to do

11 what we do. What do we do? We bring people in to DISCOVER their own unique spiritual journeys and their capacity for love; We DEVELOP within each of us an awareness of our own talents and gifts; We LOVE & SUPPORT each other on our own unique spiritual journeys; We INSPIRE each other to share our talents as a ministry both in our own religious community and in the world. This, too is what we do at UUSP, even during tumultuous months like this one. One More Time So, what kind of love is the spirit of this church? Perhaps a better question might be what kind of love is not the spirit of this special place? Our love will become ever more inspirational enough, grounded enough, deep enough and wide enough as you continue to tap into your own deep personal experiences in order to gain a fuller understanding of the love within you, to expand your openness to wonder, and to appreciate the brevity of life. As February continues, we will Stand On The Side Of Love and justice, we will pledge our support to a spiritual community that has made a difference in the world for 96 years, and we will honor George and Amali and Pat. We will acknowledge that the only thing death won t take from you is the love you have shared throughout your life. As February comes to an end, we will leave this month the same way we began it together. Together in community. Together in sorrow. Together in hope. Together we do love's work in the same spirit and for the same reasons we do all that we do in life to bring Dignity, Meaning, Worth and Joy to all our days. Waves of love.