RESPECTABLE SINS: ANGER What do the police find most frightening in their work? One police officer answered, Anger is my greatest fear. He didn t find dealing with burglaries, muggings or embezzlements frightening, because nobody has anything against anybody in those kinds of crimes. The bloodiest crimes are usually domestic crimes of passion. He says that when anger is the cause of a crime, things can get horribly, terribly bloody. He also fears anger in himself. He says, The minute I get emotionally involved, the time when I think too much about the crime or the criminal, then I m apt to get angry and then I am apt to do some very bad things myself. Anger is very big deal. Anger is the respectable sin I want you to think with me about today. We re nearing the end of this message series dealing with sins that we find hard to think of as sins. Murder, adultery, stealing of course, that stuff is sin! But, misusing time, discontentment, judgmentalism? The fact is that we make some sins respectable by downplaying their significance, by rationalizing or excusing away their importance and by refusing to confront and confess them when they show up in our own lives. We assume that there are some sins that God just winks at and overlooks. It s hard for any of us to really appreciate the white hot purity and holiness of Almighty God and His absolute intolerance for any and all sin in your life and mine. Let s consider three biblical truths about anger. First REALIZE THAT I WILL GET ANGRY What is anger? Someone has said that anger is simply a strong emotional reaction to some kind of frustration of your needs. I believe that it s safe to say that throughout its pages the Bible simply assumes that you will get angry at some point in your life. It doesn t condone or justify human anger, but it just assumes that it s inevitable. Clearly, God created human beings with the capacity for anger. To some extent it s a normal human reaction to being hurt physically or emotionally, to experiencing some kind of frustration or to being wronged by another person in some way. As a result it makes about as much sense to ask God to take away from you the ability to get angry as it would be to ask God to remove your sexual desires. Instead of asking God to eradicate your anger, you need to ask Him to help you get rid of sinful anger and enable you to only get angry about the things that anger God. In my study this week, one commentator suggested that anger is not a sinful emotion in and of itself. He went on to suggest that there are no sinful emotions, only sinful uses of emotions. In other words, the Bible doesn t condemn anger as a feeling, but rather the wrong kind of anger and the perpetuation of angry feelings. Your anger must be controlled by God and put under the direction of His will. It must be free of any malice, bitterness, resentment or hate. That sounds about right. Truth number one: realize that you will get angry. Second 1
RECOGNIZE THAT MY ANGER IS DANGEROUS, AT BEST, AND SINFUL, AT WORST. Is it possible to be angry but not sin? Yes, but it s a lot harder than you think. After all, if anger is, in and of itself, automatically a sin, then God is guilty of sin. We find many places in the Bible where God is angry with His people s sinful attitudes and action. But the Bible never criticizes God s anger. It always portrays God s anger as vigorous, intense, consistent, controlled and always as an expression of His extreme displeasure at sin or evil in some way, shape or form. Someone might say, Well, OK, then, only God is capable of being angry and not sinning. It s not possible for human beings. But Jesus was and is fully human, is He not? The Bible says He got angry with the Pharisees lack of compassion, He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, Hold out your hand. So the man held out his hand, and it was restored! (Mk 3:5 NLT) On another occasion, Jesus cleared the Temple in Jerusalem throwing out all the buyers and sellers of religious junk. The Bible doesn t say Jesus was angry, but He sure acted angry! Someone might say, Well, OK, just God and Jesus can be angry and not sin. But when Paul was writing to the followers of Jesus in the city of Ephesus he said, In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph 4:26-27 NIV) Just the way Paul puts it there leaves the possibility open that there are times when human beings can be angry and yet not sin. Of course, what I m getting to here is the concept of righteous anger. There s a kind of anger that is focused on some kind of evil or some kind of violation of God s moral law. It s not about me and some kind of injury done to me, but it s about God and His will. Righteous anger is always self-controlled and never gives into retaliation or revenge. There are times that it s appropriate to be angry. As followers of Jesus, we should be angry about things like abortion, pornography, hunger, consumerism, racism, materialism and human trafficking. We should be angry enough to do something. But having said that, yes, it s possible to be angry and not sin, it s just as important to recognize that most ordinary anger is sinful. Take that concept of righteous anger again. Let s say that someone does a really evil, wrong thing to you. Your anger isn t necessarily righteous anger. Why? Well, because your anger has a whole lot more to do with the negative impact of their actions on you than some violation of God s law. You don t yell at someone who hurt you, I m so angry because you ve violated God s law! No, instead you yell, I m so angry because you hurt me! That kind of anger while understandable as a normal human reaction is hardly righteous anger. Again, most of the time, ordinary anger is a strong emotional reaction to the frustration of your needs. In some way, you have been deprived of what you think is necessary to your happiness or what you think should happen to you. Maybe that s one reason there s so much anger in today s world. Everyone is trying to get their basic needs met by everything and everyone else but God. 2
Look, it doesn t take the Pope or Billy Graham to figure out that abusive anger is clearly sinful the kind of volcanic rage that erupts and spews hot, molten, emotional lava over every living thing in its path. Even a non-follower of Jesus knows that kind of anger is out of bounds. It s the ordinary, everyday, run of the mill anger that you and I need to confront as sin. You can t just accept ordinary anger as a normal, respectable part of your life if you want to be like Jesus. Over and over again, the Bible says, Just get rid of it. It says, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (Eph 4:31 NIV) It also says, But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. (Col. 3:8 NIV) I hear in those words a command to get rid of the ordinary, everyday, run of the mill variety of anger, too. Why is ordinary anger usually sinful? Here s a few answers. It s often directed towards those who you should love the most: your spouse, your kids, your parents, your siblings and your brother and sisters in Christ. Ordinary anger harms yourself and others. When people get angry, they often either blow up or clam up neither response being a good one. Ordinary anger can isolate you and encourage you not to take personal responsibility for your feelings. If left unchecked, ordinary anger can lead to other ugly, terrible sins like violence, hatred or abuse. Ordinary anger is often contagious. If you hang out with angry people, there s a good chance you ll become angry, too. In February 2009, a 27-year-old woman from Fort Pierce, Florida, walked into a McDonald's restaurant and ordered a 10-piece McNuggets meal. You know how it is when you're hungry and you have a taste for something particular. The employee behind the counter took the order and received payment. But then it was discovered that they were out of those bite-sized, warm, tasty McNuggets. The woman was told she would have to get something else from the menu. The customer asked for her money back. The employee said all sales are final, but she could have a larger priced item from the menu if she wanted. The customer got angry. She wanted McNuggets not a Big Mac, not a McRib, not a Quarter Pounder. She was angry. Since this was clearly an emergency, she knew what to do. She took out her cell phone and called 911 to complain. Apparently the 911 workers didn't take her seriously, because the woman called 911 three times to get help! She never got her McNuggets that night, but she did later get a ticket from police for misusing 911. Crazy things happen to your sense of judgment when you get angry. Anger twists your perspective. Anger makes small things big and big things small. When you're angry, having to eat a burger instead of McNuggets becomes an emergency. Anger is indeed one of the most self-delusional, self-destructive and potentially harmful to others of all sins. At best, it s dangerous. At worst, it s sin. Be very careful of ascribing any positive value to anger. Have you ever heard someone say about anger that it s good to let it all out? Biblically, that s really dumb advice. No, you need to guard against anger, fight against anger, and resist the 3
temptation to give into anger at every point. Someone might say, But God and Jesus got angry! Yes, but you will never be as wise or as loving as God or Jesus. The simple fact is that you can't be trusted with anger, so get rid of it. Is it OK to be angry at God? Jerry Bridges, who wrote the book this message series is based upon, challenged me personally on that question. I guess I ve kind of thought that it s sort of inevitable that we get angry with God from time to time and that He s big enough to handle our anger. But Bridges argues that it s never OK to be angry with God. Why s that? Because getting angry is a moral judgment. When you re angry with God, you are, in essence, accusing Him of wrongdoing. You are accusing Him of neglecting you in some way or treating you unfairly which, if true, would be a sin. So, by being angry with God you are accusing God of sinning against you. But who is really sinning against whom? When you re angry at God, you assume that God owes you a better deal in life than you re getting. By being angry with God, you are rejecting some aspect of His sovereignty in your life. Let s put the question of whether being angry at God is a sin over to the side. Regardless, it s a fact that if you are angry at God, you are wise to get over it quickly. You are in a very dangerous place spiritually. Author and speaker Tony Campolo was at a church in Oregon. While he was there, he prayed for a man who had cancer. In the middle of the week, he got a telephone call from this man s wife. She said, "You prayed for my husband. He had cancer." Tony said, "Had?" She said, "He died." Tony felt terrible, but she continued, "Don't feel bad. When he came into that church that Sunday he was filled with anger. He knew he was going to be dead in a short period of time, and he hated God. He was 58 years old, and he wanted to see his children and grandchildren grow up. He was angry that this all-powerful God didn't take away his sickness and heal him. He would lie in bed and curse God. The more his anger grew towards God, the more miserable he was to everybody around him. It was an awful thing to be in his presence. After you prayed for him, a peace had come over him and a joy had come into him. Tony, the last three days have been the best days of our lives. We've sung. We've laughed. We've read Scripture. We prayed. Oh, they've been wonderful days. And I called to thank you for laying your hands on him and praying for healing. And then she said something incredibly profound. She said, "He wasn't cured, but he was healed." Here s a third biblical truth about the respectable sin of anger. REMEMBER THAT WITH GOD S HELP I CAN CONTROL MY ANGER Someone might say, Don t some of the psalm writers in the OT book of Psalms express anger at God? Isn t it OK for me to be angry at God, too? I admit that, at times, it might sound like the psalmists are angry with God. The psalmist could be upset by difficult circumstances in his life and wonder why God seemed absent. Or, he could complain that God overlooks the sins of wicked people. But, it s more accurate to say, that often the psalmist invites God into his anger. That s something very different. Anger at God is different than inviting God into 4
your anger. And inviting God into your anger is one way of asking for God s help to control your anger. So, when angry feelings well up within you for any reason, you need to invite Jesus into those feelings. If you can develop the inner discipline of inviting Jesus into your anger, you will discover that Jesus becomes like a lightning rod within you in responding to anger. It s as if He takes the lightning bolt of anger and grounds it out of any destructive power over you. How can God help you to control your anger? Secondly, surrender your anger to God quickly. How do you do that? Turn with me to James 1:19-20. On the basis of what James says there in v. 20 human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires he offers up some wonderful, brief advice: be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. Quick to listen. Have you ever wondered if God was trying to get a message across when he created you with two ears and only one mouth? A lot of anger would never happen if we all learned the ability to listen, to really listen, to one another. Slow to speak. Why is that important? When you re angry, you easily forget the destructive power of words. Angry words are weapons! Sometimes we excuse an angry outburst after the fact by saying, I spoke without thinking. Well, yeah. So learn how to keep your yap shut when you re mad! Think very carefully about what you need to say and how you re going to say it. Remember v. 20 your incredibly, insightful angry retort that just put that other person in his or her place cannot, will not and will never result in anything God can bless. Slow to become angry. The Bible is crystal clear about all the benefits of human anger: None! Let me ask you to reflect for a moment. What good has expressing your anger ever accomplished in your life? Furthermore, as a pastor for over 30 years, I can say without qualification that anger has never accomplished anything good in any church I have served. So, even if you are successful in being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry and you still get mad what then? Get over it quick! Isn t that Paul s assumption when he says, In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold? (Eph 4:26-27 NIV) Phyllis Diller, the comedian, liked to offer this piece of advice to husbands and wives that, I guess, was based on that verse: "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." I don t think that s an acceptable paraphrase! If you get angry, get over it quick! Why is that important? It s the best way to prevent the weeds of anger from growing. What are the weeds of anger? Things like resentment, bitterness, hostility and holding grudges. You know what I mean anger that goes underground, festers, grows and metastasizes until it becomes a deadly spiritual cancer in your soul. That s what Paul means by giving the devil a foothold. It s true that a lot of Christians are very uncomfortable with angry outbursts either their own or someone else s. That s so sinful! But Christians, unfortunately, are very good at holding grudges which is just as sinful. Some family member slighted them or some church member hurt them and they brood on it, nurse it and wallow in it for years and even decades. 5
How can God help you to control your anger? Practice humility, confession and forgiveness. Humility means trusting God in His sovereignty over the matter that made you angry. Humility is also recognizing and acknowledging your anger for the sin that it is. Humility also means facing the fact that no one causes you to get angry. What s that again? I said no one caused you to get angry. True, someone s words or actions provide the occasion for your anger, but the cause of that anger is within you. And, truth be told, what caused your anger was probably your own pride, your own selfishness or your own need to control. Stop defending it. Stop excusing it. Stop rationalizing it. Take all that anger to the Lord and confess it to Him for the sin that it is. And then as you ask God for His forgiveness, also ask Him for His grace to help you forgive those who offended you. Learn to forgive others as God has forgiven you. Ask the Lord to change your attitude towards the person who triggered your anger and be willing to ask that person s forgiveness if you expressed your anger in a sinful way. Methodist pastor and author, William Willimon, met a hard-working devout Christian woman in Belfast, Northern Ireland who did much good ministry among the poor of that city. She had been a widow and had just recently remarried. In the course of their conversation, Willimon asked her how her first husband had died. She said, He was murdered ten years ago. Murdered? Right. I kissed him as he left the house for work one morning, with our wee daughter at my knees. As he got into his car in front of our house a car pulled up, two men emerged and one shot him five times in the face. The other man shot at me, trying to kill me, but my daughter and I jumped back in the house and the bullets only shattered the door. Then they sped off. Paramilitaries, they were, Irish Republican Army. My husband was a superintendent of a local jail and he was considered a fair target. They shot him up so bad, we were not able to let his dear mother see him before burial. How on earth were you able to go on? Willimon asked her in amazement. Well, that very moment, as I stood there over his horribly bloody body, I started saying the Lord s Prayer. I got as far as Forgive us our sins, as we forgive the sins of others And I said at that point, Lord, you have forgiven so many of my sins, so I guess you expect me to forgive others of their sins. I will try do that, but you ll have to help me every day not to be destroyed by anger. Every day. And the Lord gave me that wonderful gift. I was able to forgive. I chose to forgive. The gunmen killed one of the most wonderful men in the world, and none of them were ever convicted of the crime; but my anger was no match for God! God wouldn t let the anger of it all kill me! That s what inviting God into your anger looks like. That s what surrendering your anger to God quickly looks like. That s what humility, confession and forgiveness looks like. 6