The Worst Christmas Play Ever! (The play opens on a stage filled with all sorts of gaudy, secular Christmas decorations. The children and youth come in and gather in the spots not covered in decorations. The music begins for Sleigh Ride. The kids and youth sing, but they aren t enjoying it. After the end of the first verse, Marc steps up and begins getting on them for not being in the Christmas spirit.) Marc: Whoa, whoa, cut! This is terrible. What s going on? It s like you re at a funeral. There s no life. No energy. No joy. Youth #1: We re just not feeling it, Pastor Marc. Marc: What do you mean, you re not feeling it? How could you not be feeling it? It s Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. Youth #2: I don t know. (looking around the stage) Something just doesn t seem right. Marc: What are you talking about? Look at the set. It s great. Hey, check this out, I can even make it snow! (turns on the snow machine to make a burst of snow) You can t help but be in the Christmas spirit. Youth #1: Really? You re telling us that this (indicating the set) should put us in the Christmas spirit? Marc: Yes, of course! Youth #2: You just don t get it Pastor Marc. I m out of here. Who s with me? (Leaves stage) (Everyone exits as Marc stands there in disbelief.) Marc: (talking to all the kids as they leave) Hey, where are you all going? You can t just leave. If you walk out that door, none of you will ever work in this town again. (Grabs Dylan) Hey, you can t leave. You re my own kid. (Dylan shrugs & keeps going) Ok, well, then maybe I ll just start charging you rent. (Chris comes in, as everyone else is leaving.) Chris: (to Marc) Wow. You don t look happy. What s the matter? Marc: It s the kids. They re impossible. Chris: What do you mean? Marc: We were rehearsing the Christmas Spectacular for next Sunday. All I wanted them to do was come on stage singing with some energy and spirit. Instead, it was like they were singing a funeral dirge. Chris: What were they singing? Marc: Sleigh Ride Chris: Really? 1
Marc: Yes! Why weren t they excited? Look at this set (indicating the set). It would put the Grinch into the Christmas spirit! Chris: So this is the set you will be using for the Christmas play on Sunday? The play that will take place during the worship service? Marc: Christmas Spectacular. And yes, of course. Chris: Hmmm And you say the kids just weren t excited about it? Marc: Not in the least. Chris: (sarcastically) I can t imagine why. Marc: You and me both. Chris: Tell you what. Why don t you just go home for a while. Let me see what I can do. Maybe I can find a way to motivate them. Marc; (relieved) Really? You d do that? Chris: I ll give it a try. Marc: (leaving) That s great. Thanks so much! Now I ll have time to go pick up the Santa suit. (Chris looks at the set, touches one of the gaudy decorations, and shakes his head. Jay enters.) Jay: Hey Chris. How s it going? Chris: Well things are interesting. How s it going with you? Jay: Not bad. (looks at the set) Wow. What s all this? Chris: A set. Jay: (realizing) Oh no. It s for the Christmas play, isn t it? Chris: According to pastor Marc, it s the Christmas Spectacular. Jay: Well, I guess that answers my question. Chris: What question? Jay: The question I came here to ask pastor Marc. Chris: What were you going to ask him? Jay: Well, he sent me an e-mail asking me to be in Sunday s Christmas play, and I wanted to know if he was serious. 2
Chris: Probably. You have been in a few plays here at church, haven t you? Jay: Very funny. I wanted to ask him if he was serious about the part he wanted me to play. Chris: Oh. What part was that? An angel? If so, I don t think he was serious. You re not that good an actor. Jay: You re on a roll today, aren t you? No. He asked me to play Santa Claus. Chris: (sighs) Unfortunately, I think he was being serious. Jay: Wow. Santa Claus in a Christmas play sorry Christmas Spectacular on Sunday morning? What is he thinking? Chris: I m not sure, but I don t think the kids are very crazy about it, either. Jay: What do you mean? Chris: Tell you what. Stay here for a second. Let me grab a couple of the kids. (Chris leaves. Jay examines the stage.) Jay: Wow. This set would win first prize in a redneck Christmas contest. Where in the world did he get all this stuff, and more importantly, where is he going to store it? It s not taking up space where we store the other sets. I don t want the redneck rubbing off! (Chris comes back with Youth #1 and Youth #2. Ideally, they are in Broadway-style hats and have plastic, oversized candy canes in their hands.) Chris: (to the kids) Tell him what you told me. Youth #1: We don t want to do the Christmas play. Jay: Why not? Youth #2: We don t want to sing the songs, and we don t want to learn the dance steps. Jay: Dance steps? Youth #1: Pastor Marc calls it a soft shoe. We re supposed to wear these hats and carry these big candy canes. It s really stupid. Jay: Don t worry. You aren t going to do a soft shoe on Sunday morning! Go back and hang out with your friends. We ll fix this. (The two youth leave. The stage goes black, and Sarah comes out. Jay, Chris, and Sarah set up four chairs. Three are in a line angled one way, and the fourth is facing them, angled the other way. Each actor is holding a sheet of paper.) Sarah: (concerned) Do you really think this is a good idea? 3
Chris: Something has to be done. Sarah: You re right. This has to stop. (Marc enters from the back.) Jay: Here he comes. Now do it like we agreed. We will each read from our letter. Sarah will start, because she s the least threatening. Marc: (excited) All right. I can t wait to see what you guys have accomplished! Let s hear some singing! Jay: (serious and calming) Actually, Marc. We would like you to sit down for a minute. Marc: (sits) Of course. How can we do a Christmas spectacular without a production meeting? What do you guys need me to do? (Jay and Chris look at Sarah. She hesitantly starts reading from her sheet of paper.) Sarah: Dear Marc. You are a wonderful pastor. I appreciate your enthusiasm and energy, and I love how you lead worship. You have brought so much joy to our church, and I want to thank you for that. Marc: That s really sweet, Sarah, but now is not the time. We have a Christmas Spectacular to rehearse Chris: Please, Marc. Let her continue. Sarah: But you have to know that all of us (she gestures to the others) are worried about you. As your friends, we have noticed a pattern that has been happening. A pattern that, quite frankly, concerns us greatly. We have seen Marc: What is going on here? What is this? Jay: It s an intervention. Marc: (unbelieving) You think I am drinking? On drugs? Sarah: Of course not! Marc: Then what is this an intervention for? Chris: It s for what you are doing to Christmas. Marc: What? Jay: Look at your set for the Christmas play. Marc: (correcting him) Christmas Spectacular. Jay: Whatever. Just look at it for a minute. Marc: Admiring it. It s awesome, isn t it? 4
Sarah: Do you notice anything missing? Marc: Let s see. There s snow. Lots of red and green. Santa. Reindeer. A snowman No. I don t see anything missing. Chris: Marc where s Jesus? Marc: He s everywhere! Chris: But where is He in your Christmas play? Marc: (distracted, absentmindedly correcting him) Christmas Spectacular.Well every time we say Christmas, we say his name, so He s there Sarah: But shouldn t He be the focus? Marc: (it finally hits him) Yes He should and He s not. Not here (He looks at the set.) What was I thinking? (Despondent, he touches a couple of set pieces and then starts to take the first piece down.) Jay: It s okay, Marc. Why don t you go home? We ll take care of this. Marc: But what about the Christmas Spectacular.Christmas play.what will the kids do on Sunday? Chris: Don t worry about that. We ll take care of that. Marc: (leaving, embarrassed) Thanks. I don t know what to say. (Marc leaves.) Sarah: (brightly) Well I have to say.my first intervention was a complete success! Jay: There s no time to celebrate. We ve got a lot of work to do! (They begin to tear down the set. As they do that, a singer comes out and sings Christmas Is All In The Heart by Steven Curtis Chapman. Once the set is torn down, they leave, and the stage is blank. Once they have completely left, the real Christmas play begins. The stage stays black, and a voiceover comes speaks.) Voiceover: Christmas. What comes to your mind when you hear that word? Beautifully decorated evergreen trees, lights twinkling in every yard, gifts that will bring temporary happiness to those who receive them? Long lines at the department store, short-tempered shoppers, and the occasional fight between desperate bargain hunters? Unfortunately, that s what most people think of when they hear the word Christmas. But we all know that s not what Christmas is all about. (At this point, the children come walking down the center aisle. There should still be no lights on the stage and minimal lights in the congregation. Some of the older children are carrying a manger. The younger ones are carrying flameless candles. They put the manger center stage, and the stage lights up. They gather in a semicircle around the manger, facing the congregation.) 5
Kid #1: Don t get us wrong. We like the Christmas trees. Kid #2: We like the decorations. Kid #3: We really like the gifts. Kid #4: But we know that s not what Christmas is about. Kid #5: The problem is, we re kids. Kid #6: We re easily distracted. Kid #7: So you need to keep reminding us about the real meaning of Christmas (The kids sing a song. It could be a traditional song like Away in a Manger or a contemporary Christmas song for kids that focuses on Christ. After the song, the kids sit down in the front row. The stage is now empty except for the manger. A teen girl and teen boy come in, dressed as Mary and Joseph. They stand in front of the manger.) Joseph: So when you ve spent the day Christmas shopping and your feet hurt from all the walking and standing, think of me. I walked more than 80 miles to get from Nazareth to Bethlehem. (He walks around to stand behind the manger.) Mary: And when you feel worn out from all the things you are doing to prepare for Christmas, think of me. After taking a bumpy, 80-mile ride on a stinking, sweaty donkey, I had to get a stable ready to be my first son s nursery. (She walks around to stand behind the manger, next to Joseph.) (A soloist sings "Do You Have Room?" by Shawna Edwards. When the soloist is done, another teen comes on stage, dressed as a shepherd.) Shepherd: And when you re so busy that you barely have time to think, take a break and think of me. I sat out under the stars, peacefully watching my sheep. Had I not been watching and listening, I might have missed out on the best news in the world. Be sure that you take time to watch and listen, so you don t miss out on what God wants you to know. (He takes his place behind and to one side of the manger. Another teen enters, dressed as a wise man.) Wise man: And when you re buying gifts, wrapping gifts, and giving gifts, think of me. I traveled for months for the honor of presenting gifts to the Son of God. (He takes his place behind the manger, next to the shepherd. A soloist sings One King by Point of Grace. Once the soloist is done Chris comes back out.) Chris: But most of all, remember the reason why all of this had to happen. (Everyone on stage sings We are the Reason by Avalon. The entire cast can come back for that, if you want.) 6