Losing Your Marbles Just Say Yes!

Losing Your Marbles Just Say Yes! That s Robby Novak, and he s an internet sensation known as the "Kid President". He s got a disease that makes his bones brittle. Robby s had more than 70 broken bones and 13 surgeries. He has steel rods in both legs. But he doesn't let any of that slow him down. His "Kid President" video has been viewed 12 million times. Robby s always giving the world a pep talk, but it's his life off camera that's the real inspiration. Robby said, I believe kids can change the world. I also believe grownups can change the world. It just takes all of us working together and taking some time to dance Robby Novak. Today is a message about time and the power of time especially as it relates to kids and youth. I m really talking to parents, grandparents and our volunteers in ministry to children and youth. But before I go on, I want to remind you to take some notes and use your study guides. So our Director of family ministries is Todd Taylor, and he has a jar of marbles like this sitting on his desk. It s a reminder to him, and the staff of our children and youth ministries, about time. I heard about one church that actually gives families with a newborn a jar like this with 936 marbles in it. Why 936? Because the typical kid has about 936 weeks from the time they re born until the time they graduate from high school. So this meant to be a visual reminder of the amount of time parents, and staff, and volunteers at church have with the kids before they go out on their own. The idea is to visualize, what if you took out one marble every week so you could remind yourself of the fact that you have a limited amount of time? Because, When you see how much time you have left, you tend to get serious about the time you have now. And this is no new idea. Even people way back in the Old Testament felt this. Moses prayed to God, Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12). Now do you know what a heart of wisdom is? Me neither! But here s the point: having a heart of wisdom is at least the opposite, isn t it, of being stupid. It s people who realize and recognize that they have a limited amount of time so they don t waste their years and waste their weeks. This is really critical as we work with kids or teenagers, whether you re a volunteer who works with kids, or a mom, or a dad, or a grandparent, there s something about putting a number to the amount of days, the amount of weeks, that really causes you to look at what you do in an entirely different light. When you see how much time you have left, you tend to take the time you have now more serious. That s the first idea for today. And here s the second idea, When you see how much time you have left, you tend to make what matters, matter more. This (jar of marbles) is like a gigantic countdown clock. If you understand the power of a countdown clock in a game, as it gets toward the end of the game, things get intensified, things get focused because all of a sudden minutes count, seconds count. It causes you to reprioritize and to refocus. And to make what matters, matter more. If you start thinking about the fact that your kids, your grandkids, every kid that shows up here to church, you have a limited amount of weeks that you can spend with them, all of a sudden

you start thinking about the important things that you want to put in place in their lives. What are the big things we want to make sure that they understand and believe before they walk away into their future? We want every child to walk away and understand what it means to love God and have a relationship with God. We want every child to walk away and understand what it means to trust in Jesus and follow Jesus. We want every child to walk away and understand the importance of being connected to other people to have healthy relationships. We want every child to know the importance and power of scripture. We want our kids to see the world from God s perspective, not just from the perspective of a chronic consumer. That s what we want as parents, grandparents and volunteers. But look, you can t make a child believe in God. You can t make a child follow Jesus. You can t make a child see the world the way God does. In fact, trying to make a kid believe in God, just makes them turn away from God. I came across this a while back it s a little disturbing. I ve had the tech guys bleep out the mom s cursing. Sometimes parents get so tired and worn out, grandparents get so tired and worn out, because you re trying to do something that you can t do. Because you can t force a kid to have a relationship with God. You can t make a kid have the right kind of relationships with people. BUT you can do certain things. And if we will focus on what we can do, not what we can t do, then we can trust God to do what only God can do. So what we can we do? As parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, staff and volunteers at church, we can create environments, right? We can create a context in our homes and at church to give a kid a better chance at having good relationships. We can t make a kid have a healthy understanding of scripture, but we can be good stewards about how we explain the Bible to help them understand how these stories in here engage and invite them into a bigger story for their life. We can t make kids love God, but in your life as a parent, your life has a grandparent, or your life as a volunteer, you have these opportunities to give them an image and an impression of who God is that draws them to God. What I m trying to get us to do is to stop thinking about what we can t do as parents and people who work with kids and start thinking about what we can do. What we can do is to work together as a church and at home and create environments where kids experience these important things. It can t just be at church, and it can t just be a home, it s got to be both. And that brings us back to the idea of time. Reggie Joiner talks about things we can do over time to make a big difference in a kid s life. And the first things is Time over time. Here s what he means (using marbles). This week is important, and this week is important, and this week is important, and every week that you have with a kid, or teenager in your home, or your family, or in your small group is important. But here s what s more important to understand, collectively what these weeks do together is amazing! They make a collective impact in a way that just a single individual week will not make.

So it s important to understand the power of the collective momentum that happens when you keep doing what God has asked and called you to do as a parent or as a volunteer even if you don t see immediate results. Because you re trusting that time over time will have a different kind of impact. My youngest daughter is moving into sixth grade, and I love that her Sunday morning teaching team, Kristy and Kent Long are moving up with her class next year, they are putting in that time over time. Kristy and Kent will see the seasons of these kids lives and will earn a place in their lives to do life with them, to talk with them about hard stuff. As parents it s learning to redefine your role in a kid s life as they transition from preschool to the elementary world, to middle school or high school. It s working to understand how to be present, even when it feels like your kids don t want you to be present. If you work to understand what it means to be present in their life and in their world in a different way, it earns you a different kind of relationship with that young person. It s time over time. You see, when you love a kid over time, it gives them a sense of worth, it gives them a sense of security, it gives them a sense of belonging. Because you can t tell a kid I love you in a moment and them believe it. What a kid wants, what a teenager needs, is somebody who will show up in their world and be present over time, people at home and people at church. But it isn t just time over time, it s also about Words over time. Do you know the average kid hears 6 to 7 words of criticism for every positive word they hear? What does that do over time? Can you imagine what the right kind of words can do for a kid over time? When you give a kid words over time consistently week after week after week after week something happens in their life. You give them a different kind of sense of direction. As parents as volunteers you are giving kids a spiritual vocabulary, a relational vocabulary. Some phrases that are important as a parent and volunteer: I believe in you. I had fun with you today. I will never leave you. God will never leave you. Make it count. Experts talk about catching your kids doing something right and not just saying, good job but being positive about the process that got them there. You spent hours training, practicing, painting, dancing, studying to make that happen. Good job. As you speak the right kinds of words, words of affirmation, words that teach, words that model, prayerful words, words that say you care for them, over time in their life, it changes them and you. Here s another important theological concept over time. Fun over time! Sure this is a theological issue! Have you ever stopped to think how fun over time becomes something that melts a heart and builds a bridge to a kid s character and soul? Sometimes I m afraid that we just don t play enough. We just don t have enough fun together. Have you ever thought about how fun overtime ultimately communicates to someone that you really like them? I m convinced that kids won t believe that you like them until you have fun with them. Sometimes as parents, sometimes as teachers, sometimes as volunteers, we ve forgotten how to do that. It s time to relearn!

But it goes even deeper. Because, Fun over time authenticates forgiveness. One of the most important things you can ever do as a parent or as a volunteer with children and youth when a kid has done something wrong, or there s been a discipline issue, is to turn around as fast as you can and do something fun with that kid. Why? Because fun authenticates forgiveness. That makes having fun a spiritual act. So time over time, words over time, fun over time, and then Stories over time. Our family stumbled on a tradition a long time ago that on each of our daughters birthdays, we go out to dinner wherever they want and part of that meal time is to tell stories about their life. When they were born, the fun things we ve done, the silly things, the sad times, the scary times. It s just story after story after story. Tell and retell your family stories the good stuff, the failures, the forgiveness, the hard times, the blessings that dropped into your lap, the answered prayers, the unanswered prayers, the times God really showed up, the times it felt like God didn t show up. Tell the stories. And not just on birthdays, but every chance you get. Of course this requires everybody to unplug and relax. This requires us to build margin into our lives so it can happen. It requires us to have meals together around a table with no electronic devices on at all. Then you can tell the stories. I tell my kids the story of when my mom threw a container of cottage cheese across the table at my brother because of something I did! I tell them about when our family dog had puppies on my birthday. When I saved a friend s life when he fell off some scaffolding we were playing on that we weren t supposed to be. And when I was in college on a choir tour and the tour bus left me behind in Dallas. Or when I slept the night in Central Park Tokyo on my way to Thailand. It s the stories that give kids a sense of place and perspective and belonging. And, yes, they might get bored and roll their eyes at hearing those stories again and again, but those are the things that shape them over time. Over time is how you build a legacy, something that outlives you and me. Sometimes we think of legacy as being known, or being famous. But that s what a legacy is. You may want to be famous, but that s not the same as leaving a legacy. When it comes to being famous, have you ever been in an antique store and at the counter they have this box full of old photographs? I ve seen one that was labeled Instant family! Because nobody knew anymore who these people were in the pictures but you could buy a picture and say, Yeah that s Aunt Edith! Yeah that s Uncle Bill. Or just make up some relatives! Their names were gone forever. I recently read that for 99.9% of us, that 50 years after we die, no one will remember our names. But don t let that get you down! Because listen, very, very few of us will be famous, but we can all leave a legacy. A real legacy isn t about making you famous, it s about making God famous! The real issue of legacy is not about leaving something for someone. A real legacy is what you leave in someone. So you re real task as a person on this planet, is to use your opportunities in life to invest in the people around you now so they can understand how big God really is, and understand what it means to engage in a story that s bigger than them. That s leaving a legacy.

And here s the thing if you have a two or three-year-old you re down to about right here. And they re only going to be a two or three-year-old once. Right? Then they ll be four. Then they ll be six. Right? You ll only know a 13-year-old once as a 13 year-old! And you ll never want to know them again as a 13-year-old! And all of a sudden those of us who are parents of teenagers, or who have been parents for decades, we would say to the younger parents here how fast this really goes! And then it s gone! 936 weeks is over. It s tragic and heartbreaking, but some kids don t get 936 weeks. On Monday we hosted Brooke Robinson s funeral. She s the 12 year old who drowned in Shoal Creek. So painful, so sad. Brooke and her sister have taken part in some things here at Saint Paul s over the years. The main thing Brooke took part in was Vacation Bible School. I m not sure who her crew leaders were, but in her time here, volunteers poured themselves into Brooke. They gave her time, and words, and fun, and stories, and songs that changed her life. Brooke s mom asked a friend who goes to church how she could know where Brooke was. Her friend told her that Brooke had the seeds of faith planted by lots of loving people, and that God s grace is more than enough. Some of you gave a part of your life to Brooke as a volunteer, as a Jesus-following friend, or family member. You gave a part of yourself that made an eternity s difference. I challenge all of you to do the same as a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle. AND I challenge you to go the next mile and serve in kids ministry and youth ministry. Say yes to kids and teens. That s how you leave a legacy that lives forever. We had 63 children at camp last week and 15 volunteers and staff with them. We have 65 youth and 12 volunteers and staff going to the Move Conference in Colorado later in the summer. Those volunteers are giving part of themselves to change lives. You can influence the child a young person time over time, words over time, fun overtime, stories over time and look, you don t have to be a gifted communicator, a famous musician, an innovative designer, or savvy entrepreneur to make meaningful history. God uses ordinary people who decide to show up and be present week after week in the life of a kid or teenager. Our mission is to lead people to an active faith in Jesus Christ. One very important facet of how we do that is by each of us in our own way stepping up as our kids lose their marbles and we lose ours, and in the process will take part in the story bigger than our own. We take part in God s gigantic narrative. We see a life changed. And for today, that is the good news. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Many thanks go to Reggie Joiner, one of the founders of the Orange Curriculum, for his resources from which we ve drawn for this message.