C: Cloe Madanes T: Tony Robbins D: Dana G: Greg C: Do you or someone you know have challenges with sexual intimacy? Would you like to be more comfortable expressing yourself emotionally and sexually? Do you or your partner have sexual or emotional desires that the other is not able to fulfill? What keeps you from connecting with your partner with all of your love and passion at the highest level? Challenges with intimacy and sex are one of the leading causes of marital unhappiness and divorce, but they can often be solved in one day. In this film you will meet a man who struggled with intimacy problems for thirty years. He was unable to make eye contact during sex with his wife and immediately after sex he would leave the bed, or even leave the house. These difficulties had caused pain in his marriage for over ten years and at this point the couple s sex life was almost non-existent. However, within the space of one hour, he was able to overcome his fears and enjoy a full, vibrant, passionate sex life with his wife for the first time in his life. You will learn the steps this man took to overcome his challenges, as well as the steps for taking your own intimacy and sexuality to the highest level so that your partner can enjoy everything that you have to offer. We begin at an Anthony Robbins conference where Tony has been asking for people to share their challenges. Dana stood up to tell of her desperate situation with her husband. T: Hi, this lady right here. Give her a hand. [Audience cheers] D: OK, um, I just wanna first start out by saying that I came in June because I thought I was so desperate that I thought my marriage was over and I love my husband so much T: Oh. D: and I didn t wanna loose him. But our marriage, uh, [clears throat] sorry, I thought is so broken and I didn t know how to fix it. I was just helpless and, uh, sorry, I had, um, done your Personal Power and I thought, you know, this is just the best thing I can think of to do. You know, I have to go do this, so I told my husband, I m gonna go to UPW, and I went and I saw the light. You know, I thought this is something that can really, I can really learn from this. I can really make changes in my life, I can make changes in my marriage, and you know, I, for the first time in years I ve had some hope. And so T: So, where are you now? D: OK, well, what I realized from this exercise, um, going through, we ve been together fourteen years, um, the last I would say, probably ten years, we have not had passion. We have not had connection. We have not had
passion. We have not had connection. We have not had very much intimacy at all, and my heart has hurt, and I felt lonely, and my focus was on me, me. Why doesn t he love me? Why doesn t he care about me? Why, you know, isn t he, sh, you know, giving me these things that I want, and I was, have been so focused on me and what I m not getting and you know, from time to time trying, you know. I ll go through a spurt of trying to give more so that I ll get back. T: Right. D: And, um T: Which is what, which is the experience of? D: Whoring, yea. I was a whore, [audience reacts] and T: Please ladies and gentlemen: will you give this woman a hand for her incredible honesty? [Audience cheers] D: But, um, about a year ago, a year, yea, about a year ago, or maybe two years ago, I went to a worse place because I said, You know what? I m not getting what I want, and we have a business together. We ve been working together for ten years, and, uh, that was just extra pressure, and for the last two years, I know inside that I am, uh, you know, I am uh, a light, I am a loving, giving, caring, fun, playful person, and I m, I m a very feminine person, but the last two years I turned from being a me-centric person to being a total frickin b[bleep]tch, and just to my husband, nobody else would, you know T: Course not. You want to be nice to them. D: [Laughs] Yea. I don t want anybody else to see that side of me, but I was. I was a, a total b[bleep]tch to him and, uh, I treated him like sh[bleep]t, and he would get pissed off and he would treat me like sh[bleep]t and, and, it, you know. It s been very hurtful, you know, to both of us, and I know now that all that time I thought it was him, it was him. He has the problem, he, all he cares about is work, and now I know that that s because that was one place he could go and be successful. I didn t understand that. C: Tony explains that men often focus on their work rather than their relationship because at work they know what to do to be successful. By understanding that about her husband and by taking responsibility for her own behavior over the last two years, Dana has taken an important step towards healing the relationship. D: Now I know, you know, that what I need to do. I know that focusing on me, me, me, me, me is not the answer. I know I need to focus on this man that I love and that I really believe with every cell in my body is my soul mate. T: Where is this man? D: He s right there. [Audience cheers] So, [laughs] I have more to say [laughs]. So I ve gone from, in six months I ve gone from having no hope and being in a place of total, you know, hopelessness, to going, to being, having hope, and now I, I honestly have total certainty that I can, by doing, you know, making a lot of changes, I know that I can make this marriage what I want it to be, and I can do it for my husband and I can do it for
myself, and I will. I will make these changes. [Audience cheers] D: Notice that while Dana is making the important step of taking responsibility for the success of the relationship, Greg is shaking his head. Tony sees that and will ask him to speak. G: I shake my head no and it s not that the marriage isn t gonna work and it wont if she changes. It will work, but it s, it s not anything she can do. It s something I have to do. T: Good for you. [Audience cheers] Give him a hand for that. That s fantastic. C: Over the course of the event, Dana and Greg have come a long way. They both see what they have not been doing to make the relationship successful and they are both committed to doing their part. However, Greg has more to say. G: [Exhales loudly] Last three relationships prior to my wife, after about a year I just shut the women down. Um, once I get real intimate with them, that s it. You re into it, I m done. And I ll let m go on for a few years but after that it s done. T: Why? G: I don t know. So, at forty-four, at forty-four years old right now I finally just decided that she s everything that I want. I know that cause I ve had my list of things that I wanted, but it s something within me which I don t know what it is, that I just keep shutting the girls down. So yesterday you had made something or in fact this morning you made a statement on stage and I forget exactly what it was but it hit me. I said, you know, I may never figure this sh[bleep]t out, of why it is that I can t, in the process of making love to her, I can t look at her in the eyes and get the breathing and get the feeling. I have sex and then I roll out of bed, I clean up, I m done, cause I cannot go to that level, and I think that fear of I might loose my manly-hood. I just don t know what it is that I ve never gone there. I cannot go there. I cannot express myself openly. I just can t do it. So, I just decided this morning when you made a statement, I said, you know, I may never know what it is, it just doesn t matter anymore. I absolutely have got to go to level one because when she s in the closet crying all the time because I wont love her [clears throat] where I ll go, to the office, and you know, a couple of years ago I ve evolved over that, and I ll break my desk up and go ATVing for six hours by myself. I ll go stay in a hotel. I just gotta get away. I don t know how to communicate. Nothing to do with love, I just don t know how to communicate. [clears throat] So I just decided, doesn t matter because I want what we had in the beginning, and we ve lost it because of something within me. T: First of all, I really honor you for taking such responsibility. C: Having taken responsibility for the problems that he causes in the relationship, what Greg now needs is to make a commitment to change. Take a moment to ask yourself if there were one thing that was holding you back sexually, what would it be? The first step is to recognize and take responsibility for your part in the intimate relationship. If you have done anything to hold back, it is time to recognize it and take responsibility for changing.
T: You have a behavior, and most of us, if you searched your history we have a behavior that we don t like, something we do that we don t like. We claim we want one outcome yet we do another. We call that a reversal. You say you wanna be closer, but you push the person further away. You say you wanna lose weight, but you eat more. You know. You say you wanna be closer to God, yet constantly you look at things through the limited view of this moment and make judgments about good and bad. Whenever we do that, it s because at some stage of our life, part of us made a decision that has a positive intent. I believe with my soul that all human behavior has a positive intent. So right now this behavior in shutting down in you is just a very young part of you that made a decision about how to meet some needs. So lets try something for a moment. And anyone else here in this room, if you have a part of you that does something, if there s a behavior in you personally despise, dislike, are frustrated with, but it still happens? While I do this with him, so that he can, you get the benefit not only witnessing, you can do this with yourself if you wanna follow along with me, OK? C: Tony will help Greg overcome his problem as he helps the entire group to overcome their own issues. This creates togetherness and synergy that will help both Greg and the entire group. T: And the way you do this is the first thing I d ask you to do is to think of a behavior or an emotion that shows up in you at times that you dislike immensely, that clearly is not to your advantage, and yet you still engage in it. OK? Some behavior, some emotion. Now, when I say behavior, I go back. Remember yesterday I said if somebody overeats, they don t overeat all the time. They overeat when they get in a certain what? [Audience answers, mind state ] So if you wanna change the behavior, identify what emotion triggers it. You might have a couple. I get really angry, I get really bored, I get really sad, I feel lonely, I eat. Or, I smoke. Or, I do something drink. But I like it if you think of that behavior if you wanna change it. Let s just see if we can get some insight, and here s what we re gonna do: we re gonna operate from a belief system, which you don t have to agree with, but let s just try it on for size. That all human behavior has a positive intent. It may have a negative impact, but the initial intent is positive. It s to meet some needs of that individual. Does that make sense? That s part of survival. C: Greg knows his problem and knows it has to change, but still he struggles with it in frustration. So, Tony asks Greg first to understand his fear of intimacy, and then to find the positive intent behind that behavior. When we have an emotional reaction that we can t control, we need to understand the positive intent behind the emotional reaction. For instance, the emotions of fear or anger often contain the positive intention of protecting someone. Understanding the positive intent is the first step toward changing the unwanted behavior. T: So I didn t hear your first name. G: Greg. T: Greg. So Greg, I m gonna, I m gonna you through it. So Greg, I want you, the behavior, describe for me, and all of you I d like you to just say out loud, what s the behavior or the emotion, the feeling that you really, really dislike and want to change. Everyone just say it out loud, whatever it is. Go ahead. [Audience responds] Say it again. [Audience responds] Say it again. [Audience responds]
Now if you said like, get angry, anger is a resource. It s something that can be used. It s very important to be able to get angry in some situations. But if it s over being, over used, that s a different thing. OK? Overeating would be a behavior. Whatever it is, whatever it is. In your case, how would you describe the behavior, Greg? G: Start again with me on the question. T: What s the behavior that you d like to change that doesn t work, that s interfering in your relationship? What s the behavior, or a pattern of emotion, or a pattern of acting, or being with her that interferes with the relationship? You described one to me a moment ago. How would you describe it again? G: I need some clarification. T: OK. G: I m thinking, you have to guide me through this. I m nervous. T: That s no problem, that s my goal. I wanna assist you. So you told me earlier there s a behavior that when you go to make love to your wife, in fact any woman previous to her as well, that you can t look in their eyes, you can t, you know, once you get, once you got too deep intimately, you ended those relationships. After a year it was over and you may stick around two or three years but be over. That after sex you would roll over, clean off, I think was the, the descriptive term you had. Um, this is a little too visual for me personally, but [audience laughs] I m a visual guy, what can I say, you know? And then you leave, so to speak. Is that what I heard correctly? Am I G: Yes. T: OK good. So the behavior you d like to change, or at least understand, is, why is it that when I go to get intimate, I shut off emotionally? Is that correct? G: Right. T: Great. So I d like you to do me a favor, think of the behavior you d like to understand or change, understand even, it wouldn t be bad to understand it, and I d like you to think about that behavior, and I d like you, just for a moment, to touch the part of your body where you think that behavior ignites or resides, that emotion or behavior. So just physically touch. Just trust your intuition, your first gut reaction. Where does it go? Where does it come from? G: Heart. T: OK, got it. So hang onto your heart, touching your heart. And I want you to go inside right now, and I want you to understand that every thing has a positive intent. So even though it may not look very pretty, this behavior has a positive intent. And what, and in order to appreciate it, the more you resist something, the more you resist, the more it [audience says persists ] persists. The more you fight with something that s that strong, the more it fights back. And so you just get caught up in a fight, nothing changes. How many know what I m talking about here? Say, I. [Audience says I ]
So we re gonna try a different approach. We needa come on the side with this behavior that s been frustrating you. We need to appreciate. We need to appreciate this behavior. C: When people have been struggling with a problem behavior for many years, they often are harsh on themselves for having the behavior. However, blaming your self doesn t work. Every problem behavior has a positive intent: to protect, to prevent, or to provide. If you can understand the positive behind your problem with intimacy, you can understand how to change it in the fastest and most effective way. Tony will ask Greg and the group to discover the positive intent behind a problem behavior, and to use that positive intent to create a new solution. The first step is to access your feelings of gratitude and appreciation for what you have, starting with appreciating your own positive intent. Now Greg and the entire group are in a state of gratitude that can lead to higher and higher spiritual levels. T: So feel where it comes from, this behavior or emotion, in your case it s the heart Greg, and I m gonna stay with Greg, so you just follow along with me. Feel that location, and I want you now to go inside and close your eyes, and I want you to literally in your heart, breathe and thank that part of you that generates this behavior. Thank the part of you that creates this feeling of behavior and say, Listen: I know you re trying to serve me in a positive way, and I m grateful for you cause I know this behavior not trying to hurt, it s trying to help. G: Fear. T: First go inside. G: Fear. T: Yes. You don t even have to ask anything yet. First just go into thinking. Truly think, and breathe in your heart like you do when you re grateful, and wherever it is in your body, go to that part of yourself right there and just think and sincerely I m telling you, this is not a game. Truly think it. Just trust. This requires trust. Faith is how you change things that you ve never been able to change. You enter a place where you have a level of trust, and you knew this moment is guided. When you thank that part, Greg, and you really feel like you ve been thankful, you re trusting that it s there to serve you, even though it s hurt. You know it s intent is positive, and you know that s true. When you ve thanked it Greg, say, yes. G: Yes. T: Thank you. And that yes is perfect cause I can hear it by his voice that he was in a state of gratitude. C: Tony has noticed that Greg s focus on gratitude has made him relaxed, stronger, and open to change. T: All of you, when you really, truly have thanked that part of you, say, yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ]
T: Thank you. And that yes is perfect cause I can hear it by his voice that he was in a state of gratitude. C: Tony has noticed that Greg s focus on gratitude has made him relaxed, stronger, and open to change. T: All of you, when you really, truly have thanked that part of you, say, yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Now as you thank that part, I m gonna ask that part of you to reveal to you now, and you can ask it too. Just think, Please, share with me. What was your positive intent? What were you trying to serve, or protect, or give me through this behavior? What were you trying to serve, or protect, or give me through this behavior? Ask it now. What were you trying to serve, or protect, or give me? What s the answer Greg? G: I feel it s trying to protect me from being hurt. T: That s correct. Thank it for that. And if you ve got the answer of what it s initially trying to serve, or protect, or give you, if you got it s answer now say, yes out loud please. C: Greg s first answer is one that is universal to all people. The first level of positive intent we have in any problem behavior is for protection. To protect our selves and those we love. When Greg was shutting down emotionally with his wife, he was responding to an old self-protective pattern from his childhood. For you, the word may not be protection. It may be feeling safe, feeling loved, or feeling peace. Tony knows that for Greg, protection is only the first level. Tony will now take Greg and the group to the second level of positive intent. T: Now Greg, I want you to ask that part, If I was totally protected, if I was totally and completely protected, then what s even more important than being protected for me? G: Loving. T: Mm. That s beautiful. Feel that feeling of love in your body. C: We climb the latter of positive intent by first experiencing success: the emotion of actually fulfilling our positive intent. When you can feel fulfilled in this positive intention, then you can know what the next level of intent is for you. When Greg feels protection, his next level is the need to feel loved. Now take a moment to ask yourself, what is your positive intent? What would it feel like for you to completely fulfill that level of intent? If you could feel completely safe and protected, what would be the next level for you to feel? T: Feel it, and all of you the same. Ask that part of you. After you thank that part for its intent, ask him. If we admit that intent, in his case it was protecting him, if I was totally and completely x-ed, whatever that was you want, if I was totally and completely this, what would be more important? If that was totally and completely taken care of, what would be even more important for me to experience now? And Greg has told me
it s love. If you ve established what s even more important now, if the other was totally and completely established, say, yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] Say yes. [Audience answers yes ] And Greg, now ask that part of you. Thank that part of you for wanting to experience love, and ask that part of you, If you were totally and completely experiencing love, what would be even more important? G: For me to be able to give the amount of love that I have to give. T: That s right. C: The next level is not only to receive love but to be able to express and give it to others, to make sure that they feel loved. T: And so each of you find out, if you already had experience now, totally and completely this second level, what s even more important for you to experience now that you ve got that? And so in Greg s case he went from trying to protect himself, but once that s happened what s even more important is love. Once he s totally and completely loved, what s even more important is that he give. Say it again, Greg, that you give? G: That I can give the amount of love that I have to give. T: That I can give the amount of love I have to give. Greg and everyone else, go inside and thank that part of you for giving you that even deeper intent, that even deeper intent. See, his intent was not just to protect. That was an intent from a long time ago. Once that s handled, what he really is, his intent is for love, and once that s handled, what he really intends is to give all the love that s inside of him. That s even more important. That s what his soul wants. What is his even more important? If you met that other one, if it was totally and completely met, how many know the third depth, the third level of intention now? You know, what really is needed. If you know what that is, say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say yes. [Audience says yes] Say yes. [Audience says yes] Thank that part of you for giving you that gift of the higher intent. This is what you re really after at a higher level, isn t it? In Greg s case it s not even just love. It s giving all the love that s inside of him. That s what makes him feel more alive. Give thanks to that part, that part of you that s making this possible right now, and as you give thanks to that part again for creating this for you, ask that part of you, If now, if right now you were totally and completely giving all the love that s inside you, if right now you truly were whatever your number three was, I m giving you Greg s, so whatever last one was, ask that part of you, If I was totally and completely experiencing giving all the love that s in my heart, Greg, and ask him, and what s even more important to experience now? G: How I could affect my wife and all the others around me. T: Mm. What s an even more important experience now is how to effect my wife and all the others around me. C: The next level is not only to express and give love but to make sure that it affects others. For Greg, not only his wife, but others around him as well. Notice that Tony talks about Greg s levels of intent using Greg s exact
meaning. T: Notice that s much higher than just protecting one s self cause our highest self wants that, but that was decided a long time ago. Love with that next level, giving all my love. The next level, being able to affect my wife and all those around me is the even higher and deeper intent that his soul s calling him to now. Thank that part of you for whatever that fourth level is. What s the fourth level for you? If your third level, whatever it was, in his case it was giving all the love he has, if that was now totally and completely taken care of, if you were totally and completely experiencing that, then what s even more important to experience now than even that? If you know the fourth level of intention now, if you know what it is, say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say, yes. Give thanks to that part of you that understands your higher intent. C: This is Greg s next level: to guide people to what they want for their lives. Notice that as Greg gets to his deeper intention, he is taking more and more responsibility for protecting, loving, taking care of, and guiding those around him. He is becoming a leader. T: Feel that. Feel that. Feel what it feels like to meet the intent at that higher level. Helping others and guiding others, in your case Greg, to experience whatever it is that they re after in life. How it feels when you do that, the aliveness of it. Feel whatever your intent is and if you re fulfilling it right now completely, how would it feel? Make a sound of how it would feel if you re fulfilling this level of intent. Any sound at all. Go ahead, make a sound. [Audience cheers] Give thanks to this part of you. Feel it. Thank the part of you that s created all of this, and then ask it, If I was fully experiencing this level of my intent, in your case Greg, helping others and guiding them to experience whatever they want, if that part of me was fully being experienced, completely and totally, then now, what s even more important than that to experience? G: Moving to the next conscious level. T: Moving to the next conscious level. What is that? G: It s what I ve been pushing away for the last five years, spiritual. T: Spiritual. What about spiritual? The intent is to? G: To accept God and take his guidance. T: Thank you. Give him a hand. [Audience cheers] C: Greg s next level is to accept God s guidance, which he says has been a struggle for him for the last five years. Although Tony s conference is not religious in nature, Tony will respect Greg s exact words and phrasing about God whenever he refers to Greg s intentions. To Greg, these words have a special significance, which Tony does not want to change. T: Go on inside and find what s your next level of positive intent. Feel it. The way to do it is that the last level
you were at, as high as it was, just ask yourself, If, if now I was completely and totally experiencing this, whatever that level of intent was now, then what s even more important for me to experience now? If I was totally and completely experiencing that now, then what would be even more important now for me to experience? If you were totally, completely accepting God and God s guidance in your life completely, then what s even more important for you to experience now? G: What comes to mind is that next level, the worldly level. T: And what does that mean? Just come immediately. I you d totally accepted God and were taking his guidance in every moment, if that was totally and completely experienced now, then what would be even more important to focus on and experience now? First gut response. G: To, to, to learn and, and, and worship all that. Getting bliss. T: To love and worship all what? G: And get to a status, a state of bliss. T: Bliss. Experience that. Experience the next level for you as well, whatever it is for you. Feel it. Feel your intent fulfilled. And when you re experiencing that level of your highest intent, if that level of intent was completely fulfilled now, if every day, thank that part of you for this great gift, whatever it is. If you know what your next level is, say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say, yes. [Audience says yes] Say, yes. [Audience says yes] If you now are experiencing total and complete bliss, if that was totally and completely filled now, what would be even more important to focus and experience now? Your first response, without filtering. G: To help others achieve that. T: That s right. Feel that. Give thanks to that part of you that wants to help others achieve that. Breathe it, feel it. And if you helped others to experience absolute bliss, if that part of you was totally and completely fulfilled, if you experienced everyday total, complete, absolute helping of others to experience bliss, then what would be even more important for you to experience now? G: Complete fulfillment. T: That s right. And what do you call complete fulfillment when you ve experienced that? First response. Absolute complete fulfillment, you ve experienced it, then? G: I ve discovered God. T: And so the reason that he was holding back was a part of him many years ago decided he needed to be protected and stopped at that level of his intent and his truest level of intent is to discover God. So now we re gonna move backwards to whatever you started the peak with? I want you to imagine now, Greg, if you d already discovered God, feeling that, and take that feeling and bring that back into the experience of helping
others to experience their bliss. And what s changed? What do you notice? What do you know? G: That I have the certainty and the power to help others to experience what I already have. T: That s right. And now take the experience, whatever your highest intent was my friends and everyone, take that experience and think to yourself, If I started with that, if I started, whatever it was for you: freedom, bliss, joy, knowing God, whatever your highest intent was, if I started having fully experienced that and I brought that back to the intent that was just below it, I brought it to that intent, what has happened? So in Greg s case he takes knowing God to helping others experience bliss and he s certain he can cause he can share an experience he s already had, not one he s pursuing. Take now, Greg, this experience of knowing God and helping others to experience their bliss, and take both of those into you experiencing bliss, to that intent. And what happens when you bring knowing God and helping others to experience bliss into your own experience of bliss. What does it do? What do you notice? What can you appreciate? G: My wife, my family, everybody around me. T: That s right. And now, wherever you are, take, take and give for that light in you. Give thanks for that integration, that power inside you, and take those first three intents, the highest intents, starting with your highest intent, whatever it was for each of you. Freedom, love, knowing God, nothingness; there s a higher intent in everything you re after. Let s go there. Start with that and bring it back to the intent just below it and bring those two in the ones below that. In your case Greg, bring knowing God down into helping others achieve their bliss, and bring both those down into achieving your own bliss, and bring both those down into accepting God and taking his guidance, bring it inside and feel them all, starting with knowing God, and what s changed? G: That I already have. T: That s right. C: When you go to your highest intent you will find that the problems and worries of your lower intentions are taken care of. Greg discovers that he already has what he wants. This happens because as we move to our higher positive intent, we tend to move from a focus on getting to a focus on giving. Most personal problems come from a fear about getting. You can see that as Greg s focus shifts towards giving, he gets more confident and capable of solving his own problems. Now ask yourself, at your higher level of positive intent, what do you focus on: giving or getting? T: It s done. And for each of you, take that level, start at the highest level, in his case knowing God, bring it in to the next level, in his case sharing bliss with others, their bliss. Next is knowing, accepting God, taking God s guidance. Greg, now bring that into helping others and guiding them to find what they really want for their life. Starting with knowing God, starting with bringing that into your bliss, others bliss, knowing, accepting his Guidance, and when you bring that into the domain of helping others, guiding others to experience what they re after, what has happened?
G: I feel, I feel a lot of fulfillment. T: Mm-hmm. G: And that I m able to help them to fulfill fulfillment. T: That s correct. [Audience cheers] Very nice. Give him a hand for that. Very much so. [Audience cheers] And now, wherever you are in your level of those levels, starting at what you ended up with, start at your peak, your peak intent, and bring that with all its higher levels, into the next lowest level where we were. In this case, bring that into being able to have an affect on your wife and everyone else around you. Bring knowing God, experiencing your bliss, helping others experience their bliss, accepting God and taking his guidance, helping others and guiding them to meet what they want, all that from knowing God at the peak into helping your wife, affecting your wife, and all those around you, and what s happened? What do you notice? G: That they re gonna notice this change in me, that I ve transformed, and that they re gonna want to transform themselves. T: That s correct. Give him a hand, very nice. [Audience cheers] Very nice. [Audience cheers] All of you, all of you take your highest intent, whatever it is, and bring it down into each of the intents below it for you, feeling each one transform. Don t you when you start with what your ultimate intent is, being fulfilled, when you ve fulfilled your ultimate intent and you bring it down into each of these lower intents and you notice how they transform. Greg, now starting with knowing God and experiencing all your bliss and helping others to experience their bliss, and knowing God and accepting God and taking his guidance and helping others and guiding them to experience what they want, having the affect on your wife and everyone else, bring knowing God in all of that highest intent into giving all the love that s inside you. G: She s got no idea what s coming. [Audience cheers] T: [Laughs] Give him a hand! Give him a hand! [Audience cheers] And now, start with your peak intent, whatever it was fulfilled, as if it s already fulfilled, if you already were totally knowing God. Already knowing your bliss. Already helping others experience their bliss. Already accepting God and taking his guidance. That thing you ve been avoiding for years, that s already done cause you know God. If you know God and you help others and guide others to experience what they want, if you bring all that into you, affecting your wife and others, if you bring all that into giving all the love that s inside you to her, and you bring all that into love, you bring all that into love, what s happened to love now? G: It s here. T: That s right. It s here. Give him a hand. Give him a hand. [Audience cheers] Let s hear it. Let s hear it. Yea, look at that face. And finally, if you take your highest intent, what your soul has yearned for and you now know is fulfilled, if you experience your highest intent as done, you ve experienced, you know God, and with it you brought it into your bliss, and your bliss into other s bliss, and that into accepting God and taking God s
G: I feel, I feel a lot of fulfillment. T: Mm-hmm. G: And that I m able to help them to fulfill fulfillment. T: That s correct. [Audience cheers] Very nice. Give him a hand for that. Very much so. [Audience cheers] And now, wherever you are in your level of those levels, starting at what you ended up with, start at your peak, your peak intent, and bring that with all its higher levels, into the next lowest level where we were. In this case, bring that into being able to have an affect on your wife and everyone else around you. Bring knowing God, experiencing your bliss, helping others experience their bliss, accepting God and taking his guidance, helping others and guiding them to meet what they want, all that from knowing God at the peak into helping your wife, affecting your wife, and all those around you, and what s happened? What do you notice? G: That they re gonna notice this change in me, that I ve transformed, and that they re gonna want to transform themselves. T: That s correct. Give him a hand, very nice. [Audience cheers] Very nice. [Audience cheers] All of you, all of you take your highest intent, whatever it is, and bring it down into each of the intents below it for you, feeling each one transform. Don t you when you start with what your ultimate intent is, being fulfilled, when you ve fulfilled your ultimate intent and you bring it down into each of these lower intents and you notice how they transform. Greg, now starting with knowing God and experiencing all your bliss and helping others to experience their bliss, and knowing God and accepting God and taking his guidance and helping others and guiding them to experience what they want, having the affect on your wife and everyone else, bring knowing God in all of that highest intent into giving all the love that s inside you. G: She s got no idea what s coming. [Audience cheers] T: [Laughs] Give him a hand! Give him a hand! [Audience cheers] And now, start with your peak intent, whatever it was fulfilled, as if it s already fulfilled, if you already were totally knowing God. Already knowing your bliss. Already helping others experience their bliss. Already accepting God and taking his guidance. That thing you ve been avoiding for years, that s already done cause you know God. If you know God and you help others and guide others to experience what they want, if you bring all that into you, affecting your wife and others, if you bring all that into giving all the love that s inside you to her, and you bring all that into love, you bring all that into love, what s happened to love now? G: It s here. T: That s right. It s here. Give him a hand. Give him a hand. [Audience cheers] Let s hear it. Let s hear it. Yea, look at that face. And finally, if you take your highest intent, what your soul has yearned for and you now know is fulfilled, if you experience your highest intent as done, you ve experienced, you know God, and with it you brought it into your bliss, and your bliss into other s bliss, and that into accepting God and taking God s
guidance cause you know God, and all that into helping others and experiencing what they want, giving all the love inside of you, all of the love that exists, and you bring that into protection, you bring knowing God into protection G: I don t need it anymore. [Audience cheers] T: Give him a hand. [Audience cheers] C: According to Greg, his problem with intimacy and closeness is gone and his wife has no idea of the love that he will be able to express to her now. By climbing the latter of his positive intentions, he was able to get a new perspective on what he wants and what he s capable of doing. Now take a moment and imagine that you have fulfilled your highest level of intent. Feel the victory and the fulfillment of that. When you are operating at your highest level, what do your ordinary problems look like? Do you think you can solve them? Now the question is how Greg can make this change last for him. Tony will take the group through another exercise where you integrate your highest intent into your entire life story. T: I want you to point to where the future is for you. First instinctive response, point to where the future is. Point to the past. Point to the future. Point to the present. The past. Draw a line from the past to the present, to the future. Past, present, future. Now drop your hand and I want you to go backwards in time to right before your birth. When you re right in the moment before your birth, and I know some of you don t visualize, you don t need to, just trust your unconscious mind is there, if you re willing to trust it, get the moment before your birth. When you re there, say, I m ready. [Audience says, I m ready ] I m ready. [Audience says, I m ready ] I m ready. [Audience says, I m ready ] We re gonna take the fulfillment of your ultimate intent and we re gonna bring you into the moment of your birth. And many of you know that the brain responds more powerfully to symbols than anything else, so you don t have to understand what we re doing, but just rest assured that if you ll give yourself this gift right now and trust it s there, everything s about to change for the better. Take your highest intent, now fulfilled, whatever your highest intent was, in your case, Greg, knowing God, and the bliss of that, and the bliss of helping others to know that. I want you to take your highest intent, put it inside of you as it s fulfilled already, and step in your body at birth having already fulfilled your highest intent at the moment of your birth, and when you re there, say, I ve got it. [Audience says, I ve got it ] Say, I ve got it. [Audience says, I ve got it ] Say, I am it. [Audience says, I am it ] I m in it. [Audience says, I m in it ] It is me. [Audience says, It is me ] Me is we. [Audience says, Me is we ] Now, I want you to slowly feel yourself moving forward and growing up where your highest intent was there every moment of your life. It was always there. In your case, Greg, you know God at every moment. Starting as a baby and moving forward till you re five years old and you still, at an even deeper level of your soul, you know your highest intent. You know you re experiencing your highest intent, even then. Grow seven, eight, nine, ten years old and it s there and notice how it changes some of the experiences, to have the highest intent be there, notice how it changes some of the experiences or the feelings around them. Growing up knowing your highest intent is fulfilled already, owning it. Take it to ten years old, twelve, fifteen, sixteen, and feel it transform. Feel, in your case Greg, knowing God, transforming every moment of your life growing up, how it changes the meaning, the feeling, maybe even what you see, what you remember, even the reaction. Enjoy it.
Keep growing forward through twenty-one. You know, you don t just know it, you re experiencing your highest intent, your reason for being, in every cell in your body. To thirty, all the way to the age you are today, and feel the transformation that it makes. When you ve arrived at today, having grown up with your highest intent fulfilled from the moment of your birth, say, I m here. [Audience says, I m here ] I m here. [Audience says, I m here ] Now we re gonna do it again faster. Go back to the moment of your birth, only this time when you do it, I want you to have even more fun with it. Feel your highest intent fulfilled, your highest intent fulfilled. You experience it at the moment of your birth. Feel it in every cell and nerve of your body. Let it enter you and you enter your body with it fulfilled. Whatever it was, feeling free from the moment of your birth. Feeling love, feeling nothingness, feeling aliveness, feeling God, whatever your highest intent was. Already owning it, already having experienced your highest intent, say, I ve done it again. [Audience says, I ve done it again ] I ve done it again. [Audience says, I ve done it again ] I ve done it again. [Audience says, I ve done it again ] Now, grow forward. Grow up with it and feel what it does this time as you grow up as you know it well. Your highest intent is experienced every moment of your life, growing up with it. How does it start to transform your memories, your life, your experience, or its meaning? That s it. Feel how much easier it is the second time around. That s it. You can start to enjoy it now, can t you? Feel it. Start to really enjoy it. You own it at a different level. Get to age ten or twelve if you re not already there, but have fun with it. It s like, Of course. My intent is fulfilled. Of course, my highest intent. It s always been in me, as me, is me. It transforms everything. Not to pursue it but to own it. To know, I am it, that my highest intent is who I am. It s reflected in my breath, in my face, at every stage, at every age. Bring it up to sixteen, to twenty, to twenty-one, thirty. What has been your highest intent your whole life, bring it all the way up to now. When you ve arrived today, having lived your whole life at your highest intent, say, I m here. [Audience says, I m here ] I m here! I m here! One more time s a charm, float back up to the beginning of your life, the moment of your birth, right before your birth. Take your highest intent, bring it into your body. Take it into the future where your highest intent continues to grow. Your highest intent continues to be there. See yourself three years from now, in the future. Feel it. Feel even more. Five years in the future, completely fulfilled with your highest intent, how it guides all of your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions. It s the ultimate gift. It moves beyond anything, beyond significance or certainty to the truth of why you were made. Take it ten years in the future, twenty years into the future. Let it feel vibrant and alive. Let it keep pulling you into the future with joy. When you know your future is assured, say, It is done. It is done. And then, celebrate in any way that feels right to you: with your voice, your body. [Audience cheers] C: Once Greg and the group were able to feel and understand their highest positive intent in life, Tony asked them to visualize growing up with their highest intent fulfilled from birth. Once they have visualized growing up once, Tony asks them to repeat it in order to familiarize them with the range of positive intention they have available to them. You can see that Greg was able to enjoy the experience more and more. When you understand and feel your highest level of intention at every moment, you are more able to put your problems in perspective while paying attention to what is most important in your life. Now lets see what Greg has to say.
T: [Audience cheers] Give him a hand! It s Greg, for God sakes! [Audience cheers] Now, take a look at his, look at his face right now. How you feeling? G: I didn t think it was possible. T: You didn t think what was possible? G: Um, to go through this. I m, um, I m such a man s man inside. Always a driver, always achiever, sports, no father, you know. It just, just, I just didn t think it was possible to, um, to get to this point after this long and, um, I don t know the answers cause I m sure, I know a lot of the people I talked to the same. I just, you ask questions: what s life, what s your meaning. You just don t know. You know, you think you do but you don t know and I m, I struggle with, that s one of the things of coming here, I m like, I don t know if I m gonna know the answers. I don t know if I wanna get called on, [audience laughs] and so being here, and you keep T: Well she kind of helped getting called on I think. G: She s that way. T: Can we have a hand for her? For the beauty of what she s done. [Audience cheers] G: But, you re so gentle, uh, in the ways that you ask questions to me cause it was, I was struggling and fighting it, and you re so gentle and patient by guiding me through to find the answers that I seek which is, was very difficult. I didn t think I could achieve that. One of the things, reasons I was holding back from being here, and it was so easy by just, you know, trusting you. T: Thank you. G: It was easy for me to go through the process. T: So how do you feel now about making love with your wife and looking in her eyes. G: Oh, I can t wait. [Audience cheers] T: How do you feel, how do you feel about making love to your wife, looking in her eyes, and staying unclean together for a period of time? [Audience laughs] G: I don t know how it s gonna feel, I can only imagine, but it s gonna be the first time I ve ever experienced it and I can tell ya I want it. T: He wants it. Right on. [Audience cheers] Give him a hand! [Audience cheers] C: After doing this exercise, Greg will, for the first time in his life, experience sexual intimacy with his wife without the fear that tortured him in the past. He is able not only to solve his problem but also discover what matters most to him and to feel that in his soul. The truth is that there are many problems in life that you can
only solve by outgrowing them. In this case, Greg outgrew his difficulties by continually finding his higher positive intention. When he reached his highest intention, he found that his problem was already gone. Now he and Dana have a passionate, loving, and fully pleasurable sex life for the first time ever. You can do this too. Spend some time each day feeling and experiencing your highest level of positive intent and use this energy to overcome any challenge. Remember all problems have an emotional component. If you can change the emotion you can change the problem as well. Here are the steps for overcoming challenging emotions: First: take responsibility for your problem emotion and appreciate the positive intent behind your behavior. Second: if you were to succeed in fulfilling that positive intent, what would be the next level of positive intent? And when that level was fulfilled, what would be the next level of positive intent? Keep climbing the latter of intent upwards. Third: when your reach your highest, ultimate level of positive intent, take the energy of the highest intent down into a lower level. Experience what that feels like then take it to the next lower level. What does it feel like to experience your challenges from a higher level of positive intent? Fourth: condition it. Go to your top level of intent again and latter down and back up quickly. Once you ve conditioned it, commit to take action according to your highest intent. It s so important to take action so that the change that you have made doesn t just stay inside of you. Take action today and keep taking action every day until you do it naturally. [Ending music]