What a thesis IS: Title + Author + What + How or Why It is a claim (not a fact) that can be supported by a reason or reasons; It directly answers the question of the assignment; It is a statement that unifies the paper by stating the writer's most important or significant point regarding the topic; It is usually one sentence that does not discuss many topics; It forecasts the content and order of the essay; It is placed most often in the beginning of the essay, preferably towards the end of the introduction, but at least within the first or second paragraph; and It is sometimes but rarely implied rather than stated outright. Developing Your Thesis Now that we know what a strong thesis statement is, we can begin to craft one of our own. Most effective thesis statements often answer these three questions: What is the essay s subject? What is the main idea that will be discussed about the topic? What is the evidence or support that will be used to support the main idea? Topic + Opinion + Reasons Let s suppose that I want to write an essay about playing sports. I might begin with a sentence like this: Playing sports is really good for people. This is a good start because it does express my position without announcing it; unfortunately, it is vague and general and therefore ineffective. It is not all that exciting for my reader, and it leaves my audience too many unanswered questions. WHY is playing sports good for people? HOW does playing sports benefit people? WHICH people benefit from playing sports? Asking questions about the topic is a great way to find more specific information to include in my thesis. Let s suppose now that after asking these questions, I ve decided I want to narrow my topic into children and sports. I might next have a thesis like this: Playing sports is really good for children. Now my thesis is more specific, but I still haven t really answered the WHY and HOW questions.
Maybe I think that playing sports helps children develop better cooperation skills, better coordination, and better overall health. I might have a thesis that ends up like this: Playing sports is beneficial for children because it helps them develop better cooperation skills, better coordination, and better overall health. Notice that I have beefed up my vocabulary a bit by changing really good to beneficial. Notice that I also now have the three major elements of a thesis statement: 1) A subject: playing sports 2) A main idea: playing sports is beneficial for children 3) Support or Evidence: better cooperation, better coordination, and better overall health. Most effective thesis statements contain this type of structure, often called an action plan or plan of development. This is such an effective type of thesis because it clearly tells the reader what is going to be discussed; it also helps the writer stay focused and organized. How can you now use this pattern to create an effective thesis statement? Lets Try Topic 1: School uniforms in school Topic 2: EOC(Staar) tests in high school Remember, this is not the only type of effective thesis statement, but using this pattern is helpful if you are having difficulty creating your thesis and staying organized in your writing. What a thesis is NOT: A thesis is not an announcement. Example: I am going to tell you the importance of ABC. I don t need the announcement element of this thesis. I can simply write, The importance of ABC is XYZ. A thesis is not introduced by an opinion phrase such as I think, I feel, I believe. Example: I feel that good hygiene begins with the basics of effective hand-washing. I don t need to write that I feel this because if I am writing it, then chances are that I feel it, right? A thesis is not a statement of fact. Example: George Will writes about economic equality in the United States. Discussing a statement of fact is extremely difficult. How will I continue the discussion of something that cannot be disputed? It can easily be proven that George Will did in fact write about equality in the United States, so I don t really have a strong position because it is simply a fact. A thesis is not a question. Example: What makes a photograph so significant?
Remember, a thesis states your position on your topic. A question cannot state anything because it is not a statement. A question is a great lead in to a thesis, but it can t be the thesis. A thesis is not a quote. Example 5: George Will writes, Economic equality is good for the United States. This quote tells us George Will s position, but it does not clearly express my position. It therefore can t be my thesis. Precise Language One of the most difficult skills to master in the art of writing is specificity, but if we can master this skill, our writing can come alive and make the journey of our thought processes clear and accessible to our readers. We must always remember that only the words written on the paper can be read and attempt to give our readers clear and precise word imagery in order to make our ideas understandable. For example the phrase really good has a variety of applications. Example 1:I am having a really good day. We all know that there are different types of really good days. Is it a good vacation day or work day? Are you talking about the weather? Is it a good day with friend or alone? Is it lucky? fun? moving quickly? This type of vague sentence leaves your reader with questions. To fix it try asking yourself what you mean by really good. Is it a productive day? lucky day? restful day? rewarding day? eventful day? sunny day? Example 2: This ice cream is really good. Some people like chocolate and some people do not. Some people love sprinkles and toppings while others like their ice cream plain. Ask yourself what it is exactly that makes the ice cream really good. Is the ice cream very creamy? very chocolaty?
filled with mixings? silky? the perfect temperature? Again any of these words could mean really good, but they all give your reader a much more specific context.
Imagery Another time we can improve our language precision is when we are describing images. We must try to place the most accurate image in the minds of our readers that we possibly can. For instance the sentence, There is a girl in a dress can apply to either of these images. Image 1: Image 2: Notice how different these two pictures are from one another, and yet both images could be stated as There is a girl in a dress. This crossing sentiment could confuse your reader and keep him/her from understanding your meaning. Precise language will eliminate this confusion by creating a well-defined mental image for your reader to hold on to. Let s ask some questions to try for a stronger sentence. What type of girl? What type of dress? What type of action? What is the primary emotion/ tone of image? Image 1 Ballerina? Dancer? Graceful? Tutu? Pink? Flimsy? Soft? Flowing? Tight? Dancing? On Point? Stretched? Rehearsing? Focus? Tension? Elegance? Poised? Image 2 Bride? Bridal Model? Attractive? Bridal gown? White? Jeweled? Billowing? Full? Posing? Blushing? Smiling? Happiness? Nervousness? Stylish?
Modeling? Charming? Now that you have more specific word choices, let s craft a more accurate sentence for each of these images. Remember not to over do it with adjectives; too many modifiers make a sentence bulky and slow your reader down. Image 1: The elegant ballerina in the soft pink tutu is rehearsing for a show. Image 2: The happy, young bride is posing for her wedding photo in a jeweled gown. Unlike the original sentence, each of these translates into a clear and precise mental image for your reader, and will make your writing much easier to understand and follow. http://www.roanestate.edu/owl/persuasive.html Works Cited Askins, Renee. "Releasing Wolves from Symbolism." Harpers April 1995: 15-17. Begley, Sharon with Daniel Glick. "The Return of the Native." Newsweek 23 Jan. 1995: 53. Bergman, Charles. Wild Echoes: Encounters With the Most Endangered Animals in North America New York: McGraw-Hill, 1990. Carpenter, Betsy. "A Precarious Return of the Wolf." U.S. News and World Report 16 Jan. 1995: 16. Cranford, Marcella. Personal interview. 30 Nov. 1995. Friends of the Forest Ketchum, Idaho: Wolf Education and Research Center, 1993. Johnson, Mark. "Dual Citizenship Awarded to Transported Wolves." International Wolf 5.2 (1995): 17. Maughan, Ralph. "Yellowstone Wolf Update." Return to Wolf Home Page. maugralp@cwis.isu.edu (27 Nov. 1995). Neimeyer, Carter. "Precapture Operation--Snaring and Radio Collaring of `Judas' Wolves." International Wolf 5.2 (1995):13. Richardson, Valerie. "Decrying Wolves." National Review 20 Mar. 1995: 28-30. United States. Department of the Interior. Endangered Species Act. 1973. Section 1531. http://www.roanestate.edu/owl/argument.html