Seeking Dad's Approval Jeff Potts

June 15, 2014 Seeking Dad's Approval Jeff Potts Good morning, church. How are we doing? Why don't you turn in your Bibles with me to Matthew, chapter 6? My name is Jeff Potts. I'm one of the pastors here at Canyon Hills. It is an awesome privilege to get to be here with you this morning. If you weren't here at the beginning of the service, again, just a special thank you to the dads out there. You guys do a ton. We want you to be blessed this morning. We hope you will by our time of worship together. I have been working here for about two and a half years, and I love the opportunity to get to serve in this avenue. This is the second time for me to get to preach here on a Sunday morning. Normally, I preach on Sunday nights. I'm usually preaching with the college and young adult service, so Canyon Hills LINK. I also oversee the singles' ministry, which also meets on Sunday nights. If you are single and you're here and you're looking for a place of community, I want to let you know there is a place to belong here at Canyon Hills. I hope you'll come worship with us on Sunday nights at 6:00. We have three different age groups that meet together, so I think there's a spot for you to fit in. We're actually having a worship night tonight at 6:00, so celebrate with your dads, feed them their steak, or whatever you want to do, and then come worship with us. It'll be a great time. This morning I'm going to talk about Seeking Dad's Approval. I happen to be a dad. I have two wonderful little kids, Gabe and Riley, but I know many people sitting here don't happen to be dads. The thing we have in common today is that we are all kids. We're all children. For much of my life, if I was going to be honest, I have measured myself based off the acceptance of the father figures in my life. At some level, we all desire the approval of our dads or people who are in a father-type role. Jesus addresses this in Matthew 6, and we're going to talk a little bit about it today. I think this gives great encouragement to us who have God as our heavenly Father. If you're at Matthew 6, why don't you stand with me for the reading of God's Word? We're going to start in verse 1, and then we'll keep going together. Canyon Hills Community Church 1

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Let's hop over to verse 16. "And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." God, I just thank you for this time. God, I thank you for this time where we can come together and worship your name, God, where we can acknowledge the power of your love and the lifechanging effect it has on your children. God, be with me. Just get my words out of the way. I just pray you would be speaking to hearts and to ears this morning. Thank you for your Word, that we can know what you desire us to be and what you desire us to do. It's in your Son's name we pray, amen. These things Jesus is talking about are great things. Giving to the needy. Steve talked about that last week, and how our relationship with Christ is directly related to how we love other Christians who are hurting. Prayer is so important for the life of the believer. That's how we communicate with God and get to know him in an intimate way. Fasting, taking time to deprive ourselves of things so we can remember and understand that we have dependence on the Lord. All of these things are great. Doing good things is fine, but if the heart behind your actions is for man's approval or for your dad's approval, you're missing out on the reward God has for you. When I grew up, all I wanted to do was please my dad and make him happy. He was my superhero, my best friend. His opinion of me was what mattered most. Whether you have had a great dad or a terrible dad, I think we are all affected by the level of their approval and acceptance. To varying degrees, we try to please our dads or people we look up to. Again, that's not a bad thing. We're called to honor our parents. But if that's the highest target we're trying to reach, I would contend this morning that we're aiming a little too low. Seek God's approval, because he is Canyon Hills Community Church 2

our true Father. His opinion matters most, and his love eternally satisfies. Desiring our heavenly Father's approval is exponentially better and eternally more satisfying than seeking the praise of an earthly father figure. The reason for that is that dads are imperfect images of what a father should actually look like. No matter how great of a dad you've been in the past, we all have a moment we can look back on and just kind of shake our heads in shame. For me, it happened recently. We like to go to the zoo. We ask for the memberships for Christmas, and we try to go as often as we can. I don't get to go that often, but Ashley will take the kids, and they'll go and see the monkeys and the lions and the bears and all that kind of stuff. They have a great time. Whenever I go, it always seems like we have to go to the penguin exhibit. That is the place to start, to go in the middle, and to finish. You have to go see the penguins. It's pretty cool, because there's a spot above ground where you can watch them swimming and you're looking down on them. There's a place where you're underwater so you can really see them swimming. It's built in the rocks. It's a really neat thing. Gabe and I went with Ashley and Riley a little while ago. We get into the entrance, and it's right by the penguin exhibit, so Gabe makes a beeline toward the penguins. We go down to our regular spot, which is kind of underneath and by the rocks and stuff, and we're having a great time. Ashley and Riley, I think, went to go get some water or something, so it's just Gabe and me. We're just having a great time looking at the penguins. Or should I say I'm looking at the penguins. While I'm looking at these really weird-looking birds, Gabe has decided to look at the rock wall that's behind us. So I'm looking and looking, and he's climbing and climbing. Of course, in perfect timing, as I stop looking at these weird-looking animals and turn to see my son, I see my wife walking up to watch our son fall and hit face first, left side of his cheek, right knee. You can imagine the contortion that's happening with him right now. I turn to watch this to my horror and shame, and everyone around is looking at my scared, bloody, screaming son. I'm there in like half a second, and I pick him up. Ashley is giving me the death stare, these people are giving me the death stare, and I'm just carrying my son. All I can think about the whole time is, "Dad of the Year." We are imperfect images of a father, because I can't protect my kids perfectly. We make decisions poorly. We get distracted by strange-looking birds or men in pads chasing after a weird-looking ball. We aren't the perfect pictures, but oftentimes, the way we view our dads becomes the lens by which we view God. Our opinion of God relates to the opinion of our fathers. Again, like I said before, I have a great dad. He was awesome when I was growing up. He made time for me even though I was one of six. He played catch with me. He cheered me on with my games. He was there all the time for me. He was a great boss before I worked here. He's a fun Papa to my kids. He has always been there for me. When I was a kid, I saw him involved at Canyon Hills Community Church 3

church, serving the Lord, having fun doing it. I saw him love his kids. I saw him love his wife. He has been a great example to me as I raise my kids now. If we have a good dad, then God becomes loving and gracious. He is the perfect Master. He's the sovereign King and the Wonderful Counselor, but this is because the paradigm for God is built around our good dad. Some of you don't have my experience. Some of you have had terrible father figures, dads who have beaten and abused and manipulated and used and terrorized and cut down and cut off and cut out. If you have that kind of father, then God can become oppressive, judgmental, rules-oriented, vindictive. He's seen as authoritative, overbearing, and even scary. Some of you have no recollection of your dad because he was never there. He died or he left and you haven't had a father figure in your life. With that, the whole concept of God being our father is foreign, because all you've experienced is loneliness. The way we view our dads oftentimes becomes the way we view God, which is backwards. 1. Seek God's approval because he is the true picture of a father. God Almighty, the Lord, is the standard by which we should try to be as a father, and as children, he is the one we should look to for comfort, for love, and for acceptance. Take a look at what Jesus is telling us right at the end of verse 4: "And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Let's jump down to the end of verse 6: "And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Let's jump over one last time to verse 18: "And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." God is all knowing and ever present. He sees everything and every aspect of time. From the beginning of creation to the end of the world, he sees deep. He sees in secret. As a dad, the goal is to be at every big game, at every success, to be the shoulder to cry on when they're hurting, but the reality is we can't be with our children all the time, and as much as we know about our children, we don't have every bit of information. Our heavenly Father knows everything about us, because he is literally with everyone at all times. Jeremiah 23:24: "Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the LORD. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the LORD." Think about this for a second. God has been with you for your whole entire life. That means that for your greatest successes, for your finest hours, God was right there. On the flip side, God was present with you and me in our absolute worst moments. I think this paints an amazing picture of God's love for us, because when we were sinning right in front of him, God loved us and saved us. We can look to our heavenly Father for comfort, because he has seen us at our worst and still offers forgiveness and rest. We have some awesome dads here. You love your kids. You forgive them, and you are there for them through thick and thin. I just want to thank you for being a great picture of God's love for them. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being an example to me as a young dad. Just don't think you are the perfect example for them. As parents or father figures, our goal must be to Canyon Hills Community Church 4

point their view to God. My son Gabriel looks up to me so much. He dresses like me. He talks like me. He eats like me. He wants to be me. But the reality is I can't fill his needs. Gabe and Riley, I can't fill your needs. I can't give you what you truly long for. Dads, we have to recognize we're not our kids' saviors. We're not their lords. We're not their kings. I want to be their protector, provider, and their source of security, and those are good things. We should provide our kids with safety, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and grace, but speaking for myself, I fall short. I'm not the perfect dad. In fact, I'm far from it, and I need to remind myself my kids need a heavenly Father. They need more than just me. As much as I love my dad, he's a flawed man. He has sin in his life that he's working on. He has sickness in his body. That proves he's mortal. We are alike in the sense we both talk while we process information, so you can imagine the trouble we get into. I have incredible respect and admiration for some of the men in my life. I get to be around incredible fathers, husbands, friends, servant leaders, humble people, kind people, but they're flawed too. Our authority needs to come from the Lord. As parents, we're nothing more than an extension of God's love, and as children, we must aim our sights higher than our mentors or our father figures. God is the true picture of a father. 2. Seek God's approval because it holds authority. There is powerful weight behind God's acceptance to us as his children, and I think God's authority comes from his address and example. If we look at the passage, what is God's residence according to Jesus? Where does he live? He lives in heaven. "Your Father who is in heaven." His address is enough to hold much more authority than anything we have on earth. His kingdom is much bigger than Bothell and Mill Creek. His influence is unmatched. His address brings about authority. Yet for me to really desire someone's acceptance, I need to trust someone. That, for me, comes from an example of leadership and faithfulness and steadfastness over time. Gabe wants to play with me all the time, because to this point I haven't done anything to hurt him seriously, except for the whole rock climbing thing. One of the things we really like to do is we'll be playing in the front yard and running around, and he'll tackle me. I'm like a human jungle gym. Then I'll grab him and get ahold of him, and I'll throw him up in the air as high as I can. He's up there the whole time just laughing, having a great time, loving it, wanting me to do it more and more, until I feel like my arms are going to fall off. Gabe trusts me because I haven't failed him in that way. For his entire life, I've never dropped him. The minute I do drop him will be the last time I throw him up in the air. I know that to be sure. God's authority for us and with us comes with his faithfulness and guarantee of followthrough. James 1:17: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." Canyon Hills Community Church 5

We can know that any and every blessing we receive will always be from our heavenly Dad. God doesn't change. His Word is good. We can stand on the security of God's faithfulness to us. He's not going to drop us. We were just saying earlier this morning the Rock won't move, and his Word is strong. That's our heavenly Father. That's our Dad. We can stand on that, and we can sing with confidence, "God, your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me." We have a heavenly Father who loves us faithfully and doesn't change. Yet Jesus is warning us, because we tend to go downstream of the river of seeking man's acceptance instead of staying at the top of seeking the Lord's acceptance. "Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven." I know that even though God has been faithful to me and has saved me by his grace, there are still many times where I think I have to prove myself. I want to be seen as good and worthy. I want to be accepted off of my merit. I think we all, to some extent, try to set an achievable, workable standard for our acceptance, for our inclusion. So naturally, we seek the approval of others, because the bar might be high, but it's lower than perfection, and the reward seems good enough. We look to please other people. There's immediate reaction and gratification. It's tangible. It feels good to know that someone is happy with what we're doing. We please people because we think they will give us something. Gabe always gives me a hug before he asks me for a cookie. We please others because we think it will point back to us in our favor. When we try to please our dads or please other people, we do it so that, ultimately, we would be pleased. We're looking for reward at a good value. Isn't that the American dream? Getting the most value out of the least amount of work. Again, the standard might be high. I might have to do a lot to please my dad, but I don't have to be perfect. I think I can control this. I think I can achieve this, so I'm going to go that route. In the end, the acceptance and approval of others doesn't seem to bring the reward we desire. Man's approval seems easy but is unsatisfying. 3. Seek God's approval because it eternally satisfies. Unlike the temporary feeling of good we get from the approval of our dads, our heavenly Father gives us something that lasts much longer than a minute or two: eternal acceptance based off of grace, not off of anything we can do. We should be seeking the ultimate reward of God's presence in love and heaven, but that seems so nebulous. Why don't we just enjoy what we have here? What are the rewards we settle for? Some of us settle for poor rewards, but let's talk about the good things we have in life. Think of your favorite restaurant. You're sitting down and enjoying that steak or chicken or whatever you like to eat, and it's cooked to perfection. You're enjoying the time. Then afterwards, this dessert comes in, and there's no coconut in sight. This is good, tasty dessert. You love it, and you're just like, "Oh my gosh, what an experience." You put it on Instagram or whatever you do. You send it out to your friends. "What an experience. I am so satisfied with Canyon Hills Community Church 6

this moment." You go to your favorite coffee shop, and you sit down for an hour to enjoy this amazing drink. You have a book in your hand, relaxed music in the background. You have a view of the water. It's great. It's awesome. The Super Bowl. Food, friends, huge TV, surround sound. Your team wins by five touchdowns. I mean this is great stuff. Yet the most amazing reward on earth still leaves dissatisfaction, because it doesn't really change our lives. I have to have more of this. I can't wait until next season. I'm still hungry. I'm still thirsty. I'm still wanting. Jeremiah 17:5-6: "Thus says the LORD: 'Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.'" Seeking the things of this world is running after something that won't satisfy. You can try to please your dad or some father figure in your life, and you'll always be wanting. He might fill your need for a time, but he can't fill it for forever. Jesus said very simply in the passage in Matthew that if we seek the approval of others, we're not going to receive a reward from God. If we try to receive good from the world and from God, we will not receive anything from God. Dabbling in the things of this world is turning directly against our heavenly Father. We can't have both. Trying to seek honor from man is an assurance that we're not going to receive any honor from the Lord. But there is good news. Let's keep going in Jeremiah 17. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." There is an abundant reward available for those who honor God over men. We honor the Lord by trusting in him. This is an awesome section of Scripture, because if we trust in the Lord, it doesn't mean we're always going to have ease and comfort. The temperature is going to get hot. There are going to be times of drought and spots in your life where you don't see much hope, but if you trust in the Lord, he will be your confidence. He will be your blessing. He will sustain you and even make you grow and flourish in the midst of your trial. Seek God's approval because of what he has accomplished for you in the past, what he's doing in you today, and what he will do for you in the future. He saved you because of his grace. He has adopted you, and he has given you an inheritance that is guaranteed by the Holy Spirit. He has taken us from complete death and hopelessness, and our heavenly Father has redeemed us all the way to an expectation of his presence and reward in heaven. Seek God's approval because in it we have forgiveness, we have love, we have joy, we have peace, we have satisfaction, we have hope. He is our true Father. His opinion matters the most, and his love eternally satisfies. So how do we do this? How do we please our heavenly Father? Canyon Hills Community Church 7

How do we grow in our relationship with him? I have three things, and then we'll get back to worshiping together. First, God is pleased when we seek his presence. James 4:8: "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." When we are longing to know our Father in a deep and real way, he promises to give himself to us. When we read the Bible, he speaks to us. When we pray to him, he will listen. When we worship him, he acknowledges it. He is pleased when we admit how much we need him in our lives. Secondly, God is pleased when we rest in his mercy and comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction " God never leaves us in the difficult times of our lives. In fact, he'll use our times of pain and hurt to invite us to be supported and encouraged in him. He's not going to leave you. He says, "I'm right here. I've got you. I know you're hurting. I know you're frustrated. I know you're scared. Come to me. I'll give you comfort." Thirdly, God is pleased when we're displaying his love to others. Ephesians 5:1-2: "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." God has saved us by grace, and he has saved us for a purpose. What's our purpose statement here at Canyon Hills? Why do we worship here on Sunday mornings? What's the reason we gather together as a community of believers? The whole reason we worship together is to make more and better disciples of Jesus Christ. God is pleased when we are displaying our love to the people around us, when we are extending grace, when we are showing care and mercy and compassion to the hurting. God is pleased when we are displaying his love to others. As parents, the greatest example we can give our kids is our own personal desire to know God and our imitation of him more and more each day. Do you know what I'd like to hear from my kids when they grow up, if I get that opportunity to see them as adults? I'd want to hear them say, "Dad, I love you so much, but I love Jesus more. Thank you for loving him. Thank you for telling me about him. You were a great example for me, and you pointed me to him." Desire your heavenly Father's approval. Seek God. Draw near to him. Trust him. He has more than enough for you. Let's pray. Canyon Hills Community Church 8